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antishurtugal_reborn2021-01-20 07:23 am
Black/Gold Brick Commentary
Chapter Fourteen: Amid the Restless Crowd
Eragon and Arya finally get back to the Varden. They stop on a hill to survey the surrounding area and the camp, and describe it as “teeming with thousands of men, horses, and smoking cookfires”. The river is to the west, to the east is a smaller camp where the Urgals are, and for several miles around the perimeter of the camp are lots of horsemen riding patrol, carrying messages, and raiding parties heading out or returning. Two of such patrols spot Eragon and Arya, and after alerting the camp to their presence, start riding toward them at top speed.
A broad smile stretched Eragon’s face, and he laughed, relieved. “We made it!” he exclaimed. “Murtagh, Thorn, hundreds of soldiers, Galbatorix’s pet magicians, the Ra’zac—none of them could catch us. Ha! How’s that for taunting the king? This’ll tweak his beard for sure when he hears of it.”
Well, they did catch you. Then you heartlessly murdered innocent men, including a boy likely no older than you. Because you could. Because they couldn’t fight back against you and hope to win. You killed them in cold blood. And then only reason you were able to get back relatively unscathed was because of authorial god powers. Heaven forbid you face a real challenge that you couldn’t win. Heaven forbid that Murtagh actually finds you and beats you because you’re alone and without any form of back up. Second, what sort of hubris is this? Shouldn’t you be thinking how lucky you are that you escaped relative notice? That you should be grateful nothing more dangerous than that patrol happened? That you managed to evade everyone hunting you by sheer luck? Not being all excited that you basically gave Galby a giant middle finger. Seriously, these characters act like they’ve already won, and they’re gloating about it. This is something bad guys in a position of power do, not good guys fighting a desperate war for freedom.
“He will be twice as dangerous then,” warned Arya.
Galby’s about as dangerous as an overly hyperactive kitten. He’s hyped up to be some evil mastermind on par with the Emperor from Star Wars, but by the time we actually meet him, he seems to be more like a disappointed grandpa trying to lecture his spoiled grandchildren. Even when he breaks into Eragon’s mind and starts torturing him for his true name, it’s not like he goes in guns blazing without giving Eragon a snowball’s chance in hell to fight back. Like Galby should crush Eragon, even with his power-ups, but he doesn’t. He’s an ineffective villain, a character that only serves as an obstacle to conquer and an end goal for our heroes to defeat. There’s not even a thought in the air that he’ll win, either. So it’s rather kind of depressing.
Eragon grins and is like “I know” and oh, maybe he’ll be so angry that he’ll forget to pay every single one of his troops and they’ll throw away their uniforms and join the Varden!
Um, Eragon, are you an idiot? Don’t answer that, of course you are. Didn’t we just get done saying all of Galby’s soldiers took magic oaths of service and can’t defect? Or are we just going to forget that part forevermore. (We’re going to forget that part forevermore.)
Arya looks at him like he’s crazy (because he is) and says he’s in a fine mood. Eragon responds:
“And why shouldn’t I be?” he demanded. Bouncing on the tips of his toes, he opened his mind as wide as he could and, gathering his strength, shouted, Saphira! sending the thought flying over the countryside like a spear.
Uh, because last chapter you were whining about killing people and how much it haunts you? That’s the end of that, by the way. From this point forward killing people doesn’t bother him or give him nightmares or drive him to drink. He becomes even more of a sociopath at this point, and doesn’t seem to give a shit about other people’s feelings, wants, or needs. On the other hand, I could see him being excited about being with Saphira again, but for me, it’s lackluster because I clearly remember how he whined about not having his dragon taxi to fly him from Helgrind back to the Varden, thus forcing him to take the shoelace express. It just feels like an “oh great! I have my taxi back! I don’t have to walk anywhere anymore!”
A response was not long in coming: Eragon!
They embraced with their minds, smothering each other with warm waves of love, joy, and concern. They exchanged memories of their time apart, and Saphira comforted Eragon over the soldiers he had killed, drawing off the pain and anger that had accumulated within him since the incident. He smiled. With Saphira so close, everything seemed right in the world.
See? No longer has to feel remorse or guilt for what he did because the dragon takes it all away. I swear this makes Saphira sound like a Borg. She just assimilates him into herself, forcing him to accept her perspective on killing, which is that it’s natural and one shouldn’t be upset about it. Or something like that. Either way, Eragon feeling guilt for killing people goes right out the window now, and he acts like the perfect little sociopathic robot.
He says he missed her, and she says the same, and then she bitches at him for the soldiers he and Arya murdered and says every time she leaves him he gets into trouble. Eragon replies that’s not true; he gets into lots of trouble even when she’s with him. He says they just happen to be magnets for trouble. Saphira replies:
No, you are a lodestone for unexpected events, she sniffed. Nothing out of the ordinary ever occurs to me when I’m by myself. But you attract duels, ambushes, immortal enemies, obscure creatures such as the Ra’zac, long-lost family members, and mysterious acts of magic as if they were starving weasels and you were a rabbit that wandered into their den.
That’s because Eragon is a self-insert, Saphira, and you’re just a sidekick. Nothing ever happens to the sidekick, not unless it’s being rescued by the hero. It’s called Main Character Syndrome - everything happens to the main character, and when she or he or they are not around, nothing exciting happens at all. Everything is perfectly normal and boring and nobody experiences anything that could be considered noteworthy. It all only happens when the main character is around. It’s a pretty boring way to have a story, considering how all things are interactive in a story. Nothing happens in the world without it affecting something else. Except here. Only when Saphira is with Eragon does anything happen to her. Otherwise she’s not even involved.
Eragon asks her about the time she spent as Galby’s pet rock and if that event was “ordinary” and Saphira replies that she hadn’t hatched yet so it doesn’t count. She says the difference between the two of them is that things happen to Eragon, where as Saphira causes things to happen. Eragon replies:
Maybe, but that’s because I’m still learning. Give me a few years, and I’ll be as good as Brom at getting things done, eh? You can’t say I didn’t seize the initiative with Sloan.
If he’ll be as good as Brom in a few years, I shudder to think about all the trouble he’ll cause, especially after he gets his mitts on the new Riders and trains them. I can see Eragon being infinitely worse at training these people than Arya because of the way Brom taught Eragon. Could you imagine him beating some poor Rider senseless as he tried to teach them how to wield a sword because that’s how Brom taught him? I mean, Arya would be bad because she’s never had the responsibility of teaching before. By the time she met Eragon, he was pretty much already established and all she got to do for him was play sparring partner. She didn’t actually teach him anything.
Saphira goes, yeah, about that Sloan thing, we need to talk about that. And by the way, if you ever pull a stunt on me like that again, I will lick, lick, lick you from your head to your toes and I wanna move from...
You know what. That’s disturbing. I’m not going to use those lyrics. Especially when Rule 34 already exists for Eragon and Saphira.
Eragon shivered. Her tongue was covered with hooked barbs that could strip hair, hide, and meat off a deer with a single swipe. I know, but I wasn’t sure myself whether I was going to kill Sloan or let him go free until I was standing in front of him. Besides, if I had told you I was going to stay behind, you would have insisted on stopping me.
So, a cat’s tongue? I’ve felt a cat’s tongue and, to me, it’s actually a nice sensation. Dragon size? I’m not sure how I’d like that. But this is also a strange characterization to give her because Saphira is a lizard, and lizards don’t have this type of tongue. Moreover, Saphira tends to lick quite a few people on the face or arm, and they don’t seem to have catastrophic wounds. Moreover, way to be a team player, Eragon. Instead of just being truthful with your partner, you lied to her by omission. What makes this worse is that he then complained that he didn’t have her to fly him back to the Varden. If he had just told her the truth, maybe she would’ve elected to take Roran and Katrina back and then return immediately for him, or maybe she would’ve agreed with him and helped him perpetuate his lie. He doesn’t know. By not telling her, he basically removed any choice or agency Saphira had in the situation. You know what that tells me? He doesn’t consider her feelings, opinions, wants, or desires as important. She isn’t important.
He sensed a faint growl as it rumbled through her chest. She said, You should have trusted me to do the right thing. If we cannot talk openly, how are we supposed to function as dragon and Rider?
This is hilarious because they never talk openly. They never discuss what they should do, what they’re going to do, whatever. Eragon always decides and then Saphira follows along, regardless of her feelings. Eragon took away any choice she might’ve head regarding his decision to stay behind, and he continues to take away her agency when it comes to important decisions. When it comes to being a mode of transportation, that’s all Saphira’s call. And she usually keeps going no matter how much she hurts or how tired she is because Eragon needs to get where he’s going in a timely manner, even if he says they can stop and rest. Aside from these instances, Saphira is either Eragon’s obedient lapdog or... well, there’s not much that she is otherwise, is there?
Would doing the right thing have involved taking me from Helgrind, regardless of my wishes?
It might not have, she said with a hint of defensiveness.
Again, it’s all about what Eragon wants. He didn’t stop to consider Saphira’s feelings about his actions. Sure, he said he regretted making her upset, but he didn’t stop to explain to her why it was important for him to stay behind. He didn’t bother to consult her. He didn’t bother to examine the situation and think ahead as to “if I did this, what would happen then?” Eragon decided and did what he wanted to do, regardless of his partner’s feelings or wishes, and then complained about Saphira not being around because he wanted to fly, not walk or run everywhere. He also complained about not having any privacy since Saphira was constantly in his mind, and for a time, he liked being alone. At least until he realized that he had to run miles and miles, anyway.
Eragon eventually admits that Saphira is right and he should’ve talked to her about his plan. He’s sorry. From now on, he’ll consult with her before he does anything she doesn’t expect. Which he never actually does, so this doesn’t matter. Saphira goes sure, but only if it involves weapons, kings, magic, or family. Or flowers, Eragon supplies. Or that, Saphira agrees, but she doesn’t need to know if he chooses to eat something in the middle of the night. Eragon decides to be quippy and suggests that she ought to know that only if there’s an assassin outside his tent. Saphira replies that if Eragon can’t kill an assassin by himself, then he sucks as a Rider. Eragon continues to be annoyingly quippy and says he’d be dead, too. Saphira waffles. Eragon continues:
By your own argument, you should take comfort in the fact that while I may attract more trouble than most people, I am perfectly capable of escaping from situations that would kill most anyone else.
Not through any ingenuity of your own, though. Every situation he’s been in that he’s had to escape from there has been someone to help him. Brom saved him and aided him before he died, Murtagh risked his own life multiple times to save Eragon’s when he didn’t have to, Arya was there to help him out, Angela is there to help him out, the deus ex machina dragonballs are there to help him out. There is not one instance where Eragon has ever had to fend for himself. Somebody is always there to rescue him. So, no. Eragon is not capable of escaping situations. Not unless he means that there’s always someone else to help him.
Even the greatest warriors can fall prey to bad luck, she said. Remember the dwarf king Kaga, who was killed by a novice swordsman—swordsdwarf?—when he tripped on a rock. You should always remain cautious, for no matter your skills, you cannot anticipate and prevent every misfortune fate directs your way.
I wish these were prophetic words, but they’re not. Eragon is no longer allowed to be hurt in any fashion within these last two books. He feels no pain, no injury. Even things that should kill him don’t. So Eragon doesn’t have to be cautious. Also, with FUCKING WARDS, it’s even stated in the text later on that Eragon is more reckless because he knows that nobody can hurt him. They can’t deplete his magic fast enough for him to panic that his FUCKING WARDS won’t be around much longer to protect him. He always comes out the other side smelling like roses. Why? Paolini says so.
Agreed. Now, can we please abandon such weighty conversation? I have become thoroughly exhausted with thoughts of fate, destiny, justice, and other, equally gloomy topics over the past few days. As far as I am concerned, philosophic questioning is just as likely to make you confused and depressed as it is to improve your condition. Swiveling his head, Eragon surveyed the plain and sky, searching for the distinctive blue glitter of Saphira’s scales. Where are you? I can feel you are nearby, but I can’t see you.
I suppose he did get educated while he was with the elves, but this seems completely out of character for him, a boy who grew up in the middle of nowhere and would have a simpler way of talking and expressing himself. I mean, I’m not sure a personality transplant would’ve taken place in the handful of months he was with the elves, such that he would’ve started talking like he was some kind of educated nobleman or something like that. Also, it’s funny to me that this speech of his is effectively dismissive of the entire conversation they just had. As if it doesn’t matter because it makes him feel emotions, and he’s not supposed to feel emotions. A sociopath does this. They deflect. Not because they feel too much, but because they don’t feel anything at all, and they don’t understand why nobody seems to get that. They pretend to have emotions, but really they’d like to avoid such tricky topics like empathy and emotion.
Turns out Saphira is directly above them. She “bugles” with joy and dives out of the sky toward them. She also breaths fire for no fucking reason. Eragon laughs and opens his arms like he’s going to catch this three ton beast, while the horses charging for them at full speed suddenly shy and bolt in away from the dragon. And I’m seriously surprised not a single rider or horse was injured by this, because a startled horse can throw its rider or trip and fall and break a leg or something. Like Saphira should not have done this and she should know better by now, especially since she’s constantly around horses that will react like prey animals if she so much as yawns funny.
Arya bitches about how she wished they could enter camp without undue attention, but she’s an idiot for not realizing Saphira would destroy all chances of that. Saphira is like I heard that and she lands super heavily. She continues to gripe at Arya about how she could be stealthy if she wanted to, but she doesn’t want to be stealthy today, because she’s a dragon, not a “frightened pigeon trying to avoid being seen by a hunting falcon”. Um. Saphira, you are never not unobtrusive. Even when you’re supposed to be incognito, you refuse to be incognito.
Anyway, Eragon rushes over to Saphira and springs from the ground to her leg to her shoulder and plops himself down on her neck. Then he places his hands on either side of her neck and feels her breathing. Um... last I checked anatomy (of any creature) the neck does not expand when a creature breathes. The chest expands. So if Eragon has his hands on Saphira’s neck he shouldn’t be feeling her breathe, unless somehow her lungs are in her neck and/or she’s got air trapped in her neck, which is very dangerous and Saphira needs surgery now. Alternatively, Eragon’s hands could be on her chest, on either side of her neck, but that’s not how this paragraph is written. Eragon says something about him belonging with Saphira and she’s so happy about that that she starts humming. Arya finally comes up and greets Saphira proper.
Crouching low and bending her long neck, Saphira touched Arya upon the brow with the tip of her snout, as she had when she blessed Elva in Farthen Dûr, and said, Greetings, älfa-kona. Welcome, and may the wind rise under your wings. She spoke to Arya with the same tone of affection that, until then, she had reserved for Eragon, as if she now considered Arya part of their small family and worthy of the same regard and intimacy as they shared. Her gesture surprised Eragon, but after an initial flare of jealousy, he approved. Saphira continued speaking: I am grateful to you for helping Eragon to return without harm. If he had been captured, I do not know what I would have done!
Uh, what? She now considers Arya part of their family and treats her with the same affection as she treats Eragon? And nobody thinks this is weird? Eragon states he’s surprised, but think back to Eldest; Saphira tells Eragon that anyone he has affection for she has affection for. It isn’t by her choice. So the fact that Eragon is surprised by Saphira acting all familiar with Arya is just a byproduct of his own feelings for her. Even at the beginning of this book, when Roran asks if Eragon loves Arya, Saphira responds by saying if he loved her any more than he did, she would be trying to kiss Arya herself. Also, I like the fact that Eragon says he’s jealous of Saphira’s attention to Arya. Then he approves because he realizes that if Saphira likes Arya, she won’t stand in his way of trying to win her. This whole romance aspect to the book is contrived and forced, and it really shouldn’t be in here if it’s forced. It just makes it feel weird. Like I’m watching a sexual predator trying to groom his latest obsession, and his psychically-bonded partner is helping instead of telling him to stop.
“Your gratitude means much to me,” said Arya, and bowed. “As for what you would have done if Galbatorix had seized Eragon, why, you would have rescued him, and I would have accompanied you, even if it was to Urû’baen itself.”
Yes, I like to think I would have rescued you, Eragon, said Saphira, turning her neck to look at him, but I worry that I would have surrendered to the Empire in order to save you, no matter the consequences for Alagaësia. Then she shook her head and kneaded the soil with her claws. Ah, these are pointless meanderings. You are here and safe, and that is the true shape of the world. To while away the day contemplating evils that might have been is to poison the happiness we already have . . . .
I mean, let’s not quibble about this Saphira. You surrendered in Book One when the Ra’zac threatened Eragon’s life and let them put chains on you. You could’ve easily roasted them with fire - you were certainly old enough then - or you could’ve squashed them or bit them in half or whatever. The lethrblaka weren’t there to stop you. But no, you became docile. Galby is far more powerful than the Ra’zac, and he could hold you indefinitely if he wanted to. Seriously, Galby should’ve won the final battle by sheer strength alone, but because the story needed to end with Eragon’s triumph, he lost. Saphira has nothing to do with that either. It might’ve actually been interesting if Eragon lost. If he was made a name-slave like Murtagh. Sure, maybe the books would’ve ended in a terrible way, or maybe there would’ve been more books (not sure I could’ve handled that) but at least maybe it wouldn’t seem to square peg forced into a circle hole.
At that moment, a patrol galloped toward them and, halting thirty yards away because of their nervous horses, asked if they might escort the three to Nasuada. One of the men dismounted and gave his steed to Arya, and then as a group, they advanced toward the sea of tents to the southwest. Saphira set the pace: a leisurely crawl that allowed her and Eragon to enjoy the pleasure of each other’s company before they immersed themselves in the noise and chaos that were sure to assault them once they neared the camp.
So she takes the horse, eh? What happened to her adamancy of not being treated like a human woman? I know she currently looks like a human woman, but she’s still Arya. This is pure chivalry right here, the knight getting off his horse to give to the woman, simply because she’s a woman. Not because she’s injured or because she’s tired, but simply because she has boobs. And there’s not one complaint from her. Had it been Eragon doing this, she would’ve bitched him out, like all the times she’s done before. It just seems weird that she would accept the soldier’s chivalrous action without bitching, and weird that Eragon doesn’t make a joke about it. He clearly notices it, because it’s described, but he says nothing about it.
Eragon inquired after Roran and Katrina, then said, Have you been eating enough fireweed? Your breath seems stronger than usual.
Of course I have. You only notice it because you have been gone for many days. I smell exactly as a dragon should smell, and I’ll thank you not to make disparaging comments about it unless you want me to drop you on your head. Besides, you humans have nothing to brag about, sweaty, greasy, pungent things that you are. The only creatures in the wild as smelly as humans are male goats and hibernating bears. Compared to you, the scent of a dragon is a perfume as delightful as a meadow of mountain flowers.
I thought fireweed was something that helped them with their digestion? Now it’s a breath mint? Is it both? I’m not sure what indigestion has to do with smelly breath. Smelly breath is usually a sign of unwashed teeth. I also don’t understand why this comment needs to be made. Apparently Paolini just wanted to put in some commentary on how humans are awfully smelly creatures and how they smell as bad as male goats and hibernating bears. It makes me wonder if he’s ever smelled male goats or hibernating bears. How can you make that comparison if you really don’t know what it is? I also don’t know why Saphira needs a paragraph to basically tell Eragon shut up or she’ll kill him. I will give props, however, for being historically accurate. Humans in the medieval age just didn’t bathe. Or rather they bathed once a week if not once a month. They didn’t know about hygiene and all the things it affects. That’s why perfumes and scented oils were so popular, and why there were underclothes to go beneath your fancy attire. But I take the props away because but Saphira and Eragon are assholes about it.
Come now, don’t exaggerate. Although, he said, wrinkling his nose, since the Agaetí Blödhren, I have noticed that humans tend to be rather smelly. But you cannot lump me in with the rest, for I am no longer entirely human.
Perhaps not, but you still need a bath!
Eragon, you’re an asshole. I also think that it’s hilarious that the Varden are essentially on the war path and yet Eragon has time to take a nice long soak and get all the travel grime off him. He even apparently can get his clothes laundered. I seriously don’t know why he’s being a jerk about humans being smelly. Deodorant wasn’t a thing, and these are soldiers who don’t have time to wash their faces let alone anything else. Besides which, did he get a bath every day in Carvahall? Somehow I don’t think so. There are never even any tubs described. Even in Eldest when Oromis tells him his tree house has a bath tub and Eragon figures out how to use it, there’s no mention of him talking about how he and Roran used to haul buckets of water from the river to throw in a tin bathtub that Garrow had a fire going under or anything. Or that they used the snow melt for the same purpose. And okay, maybe then it was one of those things that you’re just supposed to assume they do, but once you mention it, all that assumption goes out the window. There’s no room for it anymore.
Well, as they cross toward the camp, their escort detail gets bigger and bigger until it’s a whole parade. Eragon is overwhelmed by it all, because he was alone for so long that he forgot what it was like to be among the crowd. He retreats into himself so the noise isn’t so loud, and then he senses the approach of the elves, so he tries to make himself look pretty. He talks about how the elves might be here to protect him and Saphira, but ultimately they work for Queen Izzy, and he doesn’t want to give them any ammunition that the queen could use to chain him to her yoke. Which is actually pretty astute of him and something I like. He mentions that Izzy wouldn’t hesitate to snatch him from Nasuada, and this is because the elves don’t trust humans, not after what Galby did, and she would love nothing more than to have Eragon and Saphira under her thumb. He decides that he trusts Izzy the least, because she’s “too imperious and too erratic”.
I mean, you shouldn’t trust the elves anyway because of how they abandoned the field twice and how they sit in their forest and do nothing to help anyone and how they’ve already tried to control your life since before you were even a Rider... but these feelings don’t last long.
The elves finally show up and they do their greetings and Eragon responds and finally Furry Elf states why they’re there and if Eragon would allow them to take up their duties. Sure, go for it. Then Eragon asks if he happened to meet Furry Elf before, at the party in the woods, and Furry Elf says no, that wasn’t him, but it was his cousin. She’s also a Furry Elf. They blah blah about it for a moment until Saphira points out how good Furry Rape Elf smells. Eragon doesn’t smell shit. Saphira thinks it’s odd, so she mentally shares with him the scent she gets from Furry Rape Elf, and she goes on to say that all the women in camp seem to have fallen for him. They stalk him wherever he goes, but rabbit off if he so much as looks at them. Eragon points out that maybe only females can smell him, but Arya doesn’t seem to be affected. Saphira points out Arya has FUCKING WARDS. Eragon says he hopes so (because he doesn’t want his lady love jumping the bones of anyone but him) and then he wonders if they should have a chat with Furry Rape Elf about his smell. Eragon points out it’s “a sneaky, underhanded way of gaining a woman’s heart”.
Not if you only want to sleep with the woman in a “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” kind of way. If it’s that way, you’re just a douchebag who doesn’t have any natural game and has to resort to dirty tricks to be a player.
Anyway, Saphira replies:
Is it any more underhanded than adorning yourself with fine clothing to catch the eye of your beloved? Blödhgarm has not taken advantage of the women who are fascinated by him, and it seems improbable that he would have composed the notes of his scent to appeal specifically to human women. Rather, I would guess it is an unintended consequence and that he created it to serve another purpose altogether. Unless he discards all semblance of decency, I think we should refrain from interfering.
Right... because having random women follow him around the camp eyeing him like he’s a very fine prize of beefsteak isn’t at all dangerous or threatening to him. Or anything else. I seriously don’t understand this. It serves no purpose to the story. After this point, it never comes up again. This is probably something that could’ve been cut out and it wouldn’t have changed the story one bit. I mean, they probably could ask him what it’s about and then have him do something so he isn’t jumped at an inopportune time or some jealous husband doesn’t challenge him to a duel because he thinks Blödhgarm is diddling his wife. Also, I don’t understand why Saphira isn’t more concerned, or why Eragon isn’t more concerned, especially when their lives depend on Blödhgarm to protect them. If he’s busy chasing off women - or worse, ignoring them to the point they decide to get violent - then he isn’t doing a good job on protecting them. Moreover, only females can smell him. Males do not. If he didn’t specifically design this scent to attract females, then everyone should be smelling it, don’t you think? But nobody thinks about that.
Eragon asks about Nasuada, and if she’s protected from Ode de Rape Elf, and Saphira replies she is, because she had Trianna give her FUCKING WARDS that protect her from Furry Rape Elf’s smell. All Eragon has to say about that is “good”. Because forget protecting any other woman in this camp. They’re not important and who cares, because Furry Rape Elf hasn’t actually tried to sleep with anyone, so it’s okay, right? It is not okay. Just because he hasn’t done anything now doesn’t mean he’s not going to do anything in the future. I mean, think about it. The scent attracts females only. If a woman gets up the courage to talk with him, and he just happens to be feeling frisky and they do it, well, it’s her fault now, right? She wanted it. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m using that kind of language in this spork and I can’t believe this scene makes me think of that kind of language.
When they arrived at the tents, the crowd swelled in size until half the Varden appeared to be gathered around Saphira. Eragon raised his hand in response as people shouted, “Argetlam!” and “Shadeslayer!” and he heard others say, “Where have you been, Shadeslayer? Tell us of your adventures!” A fair number referred to him as the Bane of the Ra’zac, which he found so immensely satisfying, he repeated the phrase four times to himself under his breath. People also shouted blessings upon his health and Saphira’s too, and invitations to dine, and offers of gold and jewelry, and piteous requests for aid: would he please heal a son who had been born blind, or would he remove a growth that was killing a man’s wife, or would he fix a horse’s broken leg or repair a bent sword, for as the man bellowed, “It was my grandfather’s!” Twice a woman’s voice cried out, “Shadeslayer, will you marry me?” and while he looked, he was unable to identify the source.
The only thing I have to say about this is why didn’t the Varden get any of Du Vrangr Gata to do this stuff that they’re asking Eragon to do? Second, how does everyone know that Eragon was missing? Didn’t Nasuada purposefully send front back to their tents so that they wouldn’t realize that Eragon hadn’t come back? I guess word could’ve spread from Roran, or people overheard it when Nasuada and Blödhgarm were talking, but those are the only instances I can think of. I really don’t know why these people are acting the way they are except for the fact that Paolini says so, and is fulfilling some kind of fantasy with all these things. Also that title? Bane of the Ra’zac? Yeah, we never see that again. The last thing I have to nitpick about in this paragraph is the fact that somebody is asking him to fix a horse’s broken leg. I’m fairly certain that if a horse breaks its leg, it’s kinder to euthanize the horse than try to fix the leg. At least in this time period. I know that with modern technology, depending on the kind of break and where it’s located it could be fixed and therefore the horse doesn’t need to be euthanized, but in this setting, unless that horse was attended to via magic immediately upon the breaking of the bone, then it’s a good chance that horse will be lamed, if the leg heals. Otherwise, the horse will be in too much pain and will likely do more damage to itself trying to walk or run or anything worse.
Eragon makes mention that the twelve elves are hovering close to him and that the knowledge they’re looking out for what he misses comforts him, and now he can interact with his adoring fans with ease. Eventually, the villagers from Carvahall show up and Eragon gets off Saphira to talk with them. He finds Horst and chats with him about how the village is in Eragon’s debt for killing the Ra’zac. I find it ironic that nobody asks about Sloan. I mean, I suppose Roran could’ve told them what happened, but it would’ve been nice to see that. Or at least have Horst mention it here, how it’s a shame Sloan couldn’t come back to face the village’s justice, but hey, justice has been served nonetheless. Unless we’re supposed to take Horst’s line about “avenging us on the monsters that drove us from our homes” as including Sloan in that. Either way, having harder evidence than just supposition on the reader’s part would’ve been nice. Eragon replies:
“The Ra’zac would have had to move a sight faster to chop any parts off of me!” said Eragon. Then he found himself greeting Horst’s sons, Albriech and Baldor; and then Loring the shoemaker and his three sons; Tara and Morn, who had owned Carvahall’s tavern; Fisk; Felda; Calitha; Delwin and Lenna; and then fierce-eyed Birgit, who said, “I thank you, Eragon Son of None. I thank you for ensuring that the creatures who ate my husband were properly punished. My hearth is yours, now and forever.”
And yet she wants to kill Roran later. Roran, who was there and who helped Eragon kill the Ra’zac. Eragon has the same amount of culpability in what happened as Roran does, but only Roran is held responsible. All I can say to that is it’s authorial fiat. Because Eragon is Paolini’s self-inset, he isn’t held responsible for anything that he should be held responsible for. He isn’t touched by anger, hate, or ire. He isn’t even allowed to be hurt at this point in time. I also don’t know why a big thing is being made of his lack of a father. It literally has no bearing on the story. It isn’t like Brom’s blood is the only thing that could open the vault. Or that being his son instead of Morzan’s means that he’s immune from Galby’s magic. Or anything like that. It means nothing. The revelation could’ve been handled with a simple “oh by the way” or even not at all. Let Eragon be some random dude’s son. Let him never find out about his parentage. It doesn’t matter.
Eragon blathers about how he does have a dad but everyone hates him. Then Roran shows up and they hug and Roran bitches him out for what Eragon did, even citing how upset Saphira was. Eragon touches Saphira and says he’s sorry. Roran asks why he stayed in the first place and Eragon evades and says there was something he needed to do. Roran doesn’t bother pressing the issue, because that would be too much fun, and Eragon gets to listen to his cousin kiss his ass a bit by saying Roran’s just an ordinary dude and what does he know about the mind of a Rider. He blah blahs about the only thing mattering is that Eragon helped rescue Katrina and he’s back in one piece, and oh my god, Eragon, where is my staff?
“It went to a man who needed it more than I,” said Eragon.
I enjoy how Eragon doesn’t have to explain his actions to anyone. At least anyone who doesn’t really matter. He avoids telling Roran and Katrina because if he told them the truth, he’d have to explain why he lied to them in the first place, and why he did what he did. He wouldn’t be viewed as a hero anymore. Of course, I’m fairly certain even if the truth did come out, Eragon would be able to explain away his actions and everyone would still think he was super upright and morally good.
Katrina magically appears and tells Roran to stop sniping at Eragon. She has to explain that Roran really is happy to see Eragon again, but he’s being a Typical Man and not saying so. Roran grins and shrugs and says Katrina’s right and then the two of them make goo-goo eyes at each other.
Eragon studied Katrina closely. Her copper hair had regained its original luster, and for the most part, the marks left by her ordeal had faded away, although she was still thinner and paler than normal.
Yes, because evidence of torture disappear in just a few days to a week. Because there’s no such thing as psychological damage or PTSD or anything like that. There’s no reality here. Katrina shouldn’t be wanting to leave her tent let alone be around anyone. She should be seeing enemies around every corner, and even when she’s assured that she’s safe, she should still have bouts of fear-induced panic. The physical damage that she may have experienced could have gone away, but not the mental damage. Of course, Katrina has already proven herself a little psychopathic, which is incredibly fitting in context, considering her husband and cousin-in-law are too.
Katrina then gets close so she can privately tell Eragon how she never thought she’d owe him so much, and she’s learned what he risked to rescue her, and she’s grateful. She says if she had to spend another week in prison, she’d go mad, and kisses his ass about how if it wasn’t for him, she and Roran would never be reunited. Eragon waves it off by saying Roran would’ve figured out something to rescue her, with or without Eragon, and that Roran would’ve convinced somebody else to help him, Angela, maybe. Why Angela? Why not Trianna? Why not anyone else? Roran is as skeptical as I am:
“Angela the herbalist?” scoffed Roran. “That prating girl would have been no match for the Ra’zac.”
“You would be surprised. She’s more than she appears . . . or sounds.” Then Eragon dared to do something that he never would have attempted when he was living in Palancar Valley but that he felt was appropriate in his role as a Rider: he kissed Katrina upon her brow, and then he kissed Roran upon his, and he said, “Roran, you are as a brother to me. And, Katrina, you are as a sister to me. If ever you are in trouble, send for me, and whether you need Eragon the farmer or Eragon the Rider, everything I am shall be at your disposal.”
Good luck trying to fulfill that promise from halfway across the country. Or did you forget that the final part of your prophecy is that you’re supposed to leave Alagaesia forever? And you’re never going to set foot there again? Which is kind of a fallacy, because he only goes two days’ sailing from Alagaesia proper, which is like... a day’s flight for a dragon Saphira’s size, so maybe a week total, give or take, from where he is to where Roran and Katrina would be? I don’t know. The point is, he promises this, but he’ll be unable to fulfill it in the end, because his stupid prophecy says that he’s to leave the country, never to return. Kind of puts a damper on things if he’s not supposed to ever return. Because if he does return, even for a day, then that renders the prophecy null and void and means that we’re the masters of our own fates. That we get to make the choices and nothing is preordained or decided for us. Of course, the flip side of that argument is that everyone has free will and free choice and can do what they want, but are bound by their beliefs in what should and should not be done, as well as what is right and wrong, and the choices we make aren’t our own, technically, because a higher power already knows what we’re going to do, and thusly challenges us to make these “free will” choices that ultimately keep us on the path designed for us. It’s really a philosophical debate.
Roran says right back at you buddy, just ask and we’ll be there. Eragon nods and tells the reader that he isn’t going to mention that anything he could be involved with would be able to be solved by some normal dude. He gives them some typical “live long and be happy and have lots of children” tripe, and Katrina’s smile wobbles because she’s already got a bun in the oven, and Eragon wonders about it but doesn’t pursue it because Saphira hurries them up so they can get to Nasuada’s tent and get this chapter over with sooner rather than later. They finally arrive to see Nasuada standing out front with Orrin and Orrin’s retinue.
Nasuada was garbed in a green silk dress that shimmered in the sun, like the feathers on the breast of a hummingbird, in bright contrast to the sable shade of her skin. The sleeves of the dress ended in lace ruffs at her elbows. White linen bandages covered the rest of her arms to her narrow wrists. Of all the men and women assembled before her, she was the most distinguished, like an emerald resting on a bed of brown autumn leaves. Only Saphira could compete with the brilliance of her appearance.
I have a feeling that, for the life of me, I’m never going to understand why Nasuada wears dresses on a battlefield. Moreover, why she seems to have a new dress every time we see her. It could be something she packed, something that she already possessed, but considering that the Varden are supposed to be poor, I really can’t see her having dresses of the material that this particular one is made of. The fact that it’s green and shimmery makes me feel like it’s satin and not silk as it’s stated, both of which were expensive, and they’re both material that doesn’t clean well. I’m inexperienced with satin and silk, but I still don’t think they clean well even now without a dry cleaner’s help. It just bothers me that every time we see her, she’s dressed in clothing that is expensive. First it was velvet, then it was satin with lace, now it’s silk with lace. It bothers me that she wears all this finery in a situation that doesn’t need it, especially since there’s no one she has to impress. Moreover, the Varden are struggling for cash and supplies, and she’s wearing expensive fabrics. Sure, this is stuff she may have already had, but still. She claims that the dwarves just gifted her with jewels and clothes for no apparent reason, most of which she claims she sells, but does she? Her army is always severely underfunded and she’s always wearing new clothes.
Eragon and Arya presented themselves to Nasuada and then to King Orrin. Nasuada gave them formal welcome on behalf of the Varden and praised them for their bravery. She finished by saying, “Aye, Galbatorix may have a Rider and dragon who fight for him even as Eragon and Saphira fight for us. He may have an army so large that it darkens the land. And he may be adept at strange and terrible magics, abominations of the spellcaster’s art. But for all his wicked power, he could not stop Eragon and Saphira from invading his realm and killing four of his most favored servants, nor Eragon from crossing the Empire with impunity. The pretender’s arm has grown weak indeed when he cannot defend his borders, nor protect his foul agents within their hidden fortress.”
Eragon only succeeded because of authorial fist, let’s not quibble about that. If Galbatorix was as cunning as is claimed, those Ra’zac and lethrblaka would be shielded with so many wards that there’d be no killing them. And even though it’s claimed that they do have wards when Eragon and Roran are fighting them, they’re all killed far too easy to be of any threat to the heroes. The fact that Eragon escaped everything is also authorial fiat, because if he was captured then there’d have to be actual thought and effort put into the story, instead of ye olde cardboard cutout/cookie cutter adventure epic with situations that make your heroes look like sociopathic serial killers.
Amid the Varden’s enthusiastic cheering, Eragon allowed himself a secret smile at how well Nasuada played upon their emotions, inspiring confidence, loyalty, and high spirits in spite of a reality that was far less optimistic than she portrayed it. She did not lie to them—to his knowledge, she did not lie, not even when dealing with the Council of Elders or other of her political rivals. What she did was report the truths that best supported her position and her arguments. In that regard, he thought, she was like the elves.
So she’s a manipulator and liar by omission. I do understand that leaders have a great responsibility to keep the morale up amongst their people and their military, and that the common people don’t always get the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help them, but the fact that Eragon has to point this out is kind of leery. As far as he knows, she’s never lied, but he’s absolutely aware that she twists the truth and uses it to her advantage. That’s manipulation, and eventually she’ll get found out. Not that it matters, because she gets to win everything anyway, even when she clearly shouldn’t. But still... it just sort of points out that everyone but certain main characters are just sheep and they’ll believe whatever they’re told.
When the Varden’s outpouring of excitement had subsided, King Orrin greeted Eragon and Arya as Nasuada had. His delivery was staid compared with hers, and while the crowd listened politely and applauded afterward, it was obvious to Eragon that however much the people respected Orrin, they did not love him as they loved Nasuada, nor could he fire their imagination as Nasuada fired it. The smooth–faced king was gifted with a superior intellect. But his personality was too rarefied, too eccentric, and too subdued for him to be a receptacle for the desperate hopes of the humans that opposed Galbatorix.
Again, this is also authorial fiat. Orrin has been a king longer than Nasuada has been doing military campaigns. He knows what is needed. And aside from a few token instances in Eldest, we don’t really get to have a feel for Orrin as a character. By the time we do, he’s a so far in the drink that I wouldn’t trust him to watch my favorite pair of socks. By far, Orrin gets the worst of character assassination, all Nasuada can have a clear path to the throne. Nobody likes him, so therefore he isn’t worthy to take the throne, which is actually his by birthright. Other than Paolini saying so, there’s really nothing separating Nasuada from Orrin except age and experience. I personally didn’t have any emotion to Nasuada’s speech, and apparently neither did Eragon, since he was just blandly describing the Varden-sheep and their reaction to Nasuada. We don’t even get to see Orrin’s speech on screen. We’re only told about it, and then a bland description of Eragon talking about the king he hardly knows. He never gets to know Orrin. He never comes to understand the king or his wants, needs, and desires. Orrin isn’t on screen long enough to develop a relationship with as a reader, so all we have to rely upon with him is other characters’ description of him, and none of it is flattering. Beyond that, can we really say it’s true? What if Orrin’s speech was twice as inciting and passionate as Nasuada’s, but because Eragon is biased toward Nasuada from the get-go, he reacts negatively? And because he reacts negatively, the Varden-sheep react negatively? I mean, Nasuada said nothing that no one’s ever said before, technically. Every leader before her has said something similar. It doesn’t make sense that these people would react so raucously for her but golf-clap for Orrin out of politeness.
If we overthrow Galbatorix, Eragon said to Saphira, Orrin should not replace him in Urû’baen. He would not be able to unite the land as Nasuada has united the Varden.
Other than Paolini Said So, why? Why would Orrin not be granted kingship of Alagaesia? First of all, it’s his birthright - he can trace his bloodline back all the way to the king Galby killed to take over, so technically he’s already heir. He also knows how to be a king, what it means to be a king, and has the experience of being a king. Second, being a king isn’t about uniting the land and the people; it’s about being able to defend that land and people and ensure that they’re safe and prospering. A king isn’t a king without people. If there’s no one to rule, then there is no king. Not really. He has all the qualifications that Nasuada does not. Third, kings had a lot of help - if the word can be used so generously - by having advisors and, in the case of several monarchies, a parliament that actually did all the work such that the king only had to deal with other kings and put his seal on official papers and arrange marriages for his children and hope he didn’t get offed before his time. Orrin has all that established already. Moreover, it wasn’t uncommon for a king to have a summer castle and a winter castle, so Orrin doesn’t really need to up and move in order to rule Alagaesia. Lastly, Surda came into existence when Orrin’s ancestors seceded from Alagaesia, and I bet you they never really intended to remain a separate country. I’m fairly certain they intended to regain what was lost eventually. So if Orrin became king, wouldn’t he unite Alagaesia and Surda again? They really aren’t that far removed generationally from each other, either. Paolini tries to throw some antiquity in here, but the timeline he writes states that everything happened 100 years ago. So there is no antiquity.
Saphira agrees with him. Orrin finishes his speech, and Nasuada tells Eragon it’s his turn to make a speech, because everyone is here to see him. And she’s amused about it. Eragon is shocked and Nasuada tells him to get his act together.
Then Eragon turned and faced the multitude, his tongue dry as sand. His mind was blank, and for a handful of panic-stricken seconds, he thought the use of language would continue to elude him and he would embarrass himself in front of the entire Varden. Somewhere a horse nickered, but otherwise the camp seemed frightfully quiet. It was Saphira who broke his paralysis by nudging his elbow with her snout and saying, Tell them how honored you are to have their support and how happy you are to be back among them. With her encouragement, he managed to find a few fumbling words, and then, as soon as it was acceptable, he bowed and retreated a step.
This is actually nice. Public speaking is a very intimidating thing, especially when you’ve never done it before. It can be extremely frightening, because you don’t know what to say and you don’t know how people will react to what’s being said. Moreover, Eragon’s never had to say more than a couple of words in front of people. He’s also never had to address strangers before and give them a speech that would inspire them. Besides that, he’s an Important Somebody now, and people expect a lot from him that he’s never had to deal with or consider before. It’s frightening. So, yeah, his reaction here is actually quite nice and appropriate.
Eragon forces a smile while the Varden cheer and carry on, and Eragon says how horrible public speaking is, and he’d rather fight another Shade than do it again. Saphira is like, seriously? It wasn’t that hard. And instead of Eragon telling her she should do it next time, he just says “yes it was!”
A puff of smoke drifted up from her nostrils as she snorted with amusement. A fine Dragon Rider you are, afraid of talking to a large group! If only Galbatorix knew, he could have you at his mercy if he but asked you to make a speech to his troops. Ha!
Ah, nice to see you’re still a bitch, Saphira. I dislike the fact she’s making fun of him for being scared about public speaking. There are a lot of people who are frightened of public speaking. They don’t like being the center of attention and they don’t like people staring them. They’re self-conscious about the way they look or sound and they don’t want to be up in front of hundreds of people giving a speech. It sucked having to do it when I gave a book report in high school. It sucked having to do it for the public speaking class I had to take as a prerequisite in community college. I even remember getting yelled at by a classmate because I said something in a speech she didn’t like. Nobody stopped her from yelling at me. Not even the teacher corrected her. It didn’t make me eager to get back up there and make another speech. And I’d really like to see how Saphira would fare in Eragon’s position. What if Nasuada had asked her to make a speech to prove to everyone that she’s not just a flying disco ball taxi and is capable of philosophical thought and speech? Would she think it was so easy? Of course, that doesn’t happen because Saphira refuses to talk to anyone without using Eragon as her mouthpiece, and the ones she does talk directly to are limited to four of my fingers on a single hand. Not counting Eragon, she only talks directly to Arya, Nasuada, Elva, and Orik. That’s it. So her making fun of Eragon here is petty.
Eragon tells her it’s not funny, but Saphira continues to be a bitch and laugh at him.
no subject
Oh get OVER yourself. He's trying to make it sound like he was being actively chased the whole time, which is patently untrue. The only time he did run into soldiers it was by pure chance and easily avoidable.
"But when Murtagh was captured, meh. Screw actually trying to find him, and screw trying to rescue him now."
Arrogant much?
Yup, people offering him fancy presents and invitations is treated as having the same importance as A WOMAN DYING OF CANCER. And Eragon reacts to this by... completely blowing the guy off. Like it doesn't matter. Even by his usual standards that's incredibly douchey and insensitive.
This bit is so stupid. If this thing was written with any realism at all, Roran would be suspicious as hell. Responding to a question with an ominous "never ask me that again" is one of THE fastest ways to make someone incredibly suspicious, not to mention curious. If Eragon really wanted to throw Roran off his scent, he should have just responded with something mundane like "Oh, I wanted to search the place properly and thought it would be better if you got Katrina out of there since she was starved and hurt while I took care of that, but I didn't find anything much so it was a waste of time really. Oh well."
And it remains awfully convenient that neither Roran nor Katrina asked to see Sloan's body or expressed a desire to give the poor guy a proper burial, doesn't it?
Me neither. It makes her look vain and spoilt, and also really impractical. Ever try fighting in full skirts, Nas? What if you were sneak attacked by an assassin? You're in the field during open warfare, not attending a royal banquet, you moron.
And you know this how exactly? And the arrogance continues...
Because Saphira is a bullying jerk.
no subject
One of these things is not like the others, One of these things doesn't belong....
I read a story about someone granted the ability to heal wounds and diseases magically, and he nearly killed himself healing people's injuries and diseases. His friend had to basically pull him away from the crowd because he couldn't not help, now that he had the ability.
Eragon, given a similar ability to heal wounds and diseases magically, brushes off requests for help with all the grace of a politician leaving a press conference while the reporters shout questions at them. Except of course when the person requesting aid is related to him in some way, which is why Elain's daughter gets an entire chapter (spanning an entire night) of healing while random-cancer-wife gets nothing.
no subject
Which is why when he does heal people it mostly just comes off as a PR stunt, just as how he only spares lives (the archers who attacked him before the Battle of the Burning Plains) when he thinks it will make him look good ("He knew his kindness had earned him their undying loyalty and that tidings of his good deed would soon spread throughout the Varden" blah blah blah).
no subject
Yeah, he's one of the most arrogant, self-centred, narcissistic, glory-hounding, blood-lusting "heroes" I've ever read.