Fic Spork Anyone?
Jan. 8th, 2020 07:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chuckling_ghost posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
antishurtugal_rebornFor those of you who don't know, I write fan-fiction. A lot.
Up until recently the vast majority of my work has been for the Naruto series, but over the last year or two I've grown steadily more and more burnt out on it. This means that most of my Naruto-fics will most likely be abandoned, but one was actually finished recently.
I'm not particularly satisfied with how it turned out, but it is the most logical end result of the premise I set for the story. That being said, good and thoughtful reviews are extremely difficult to come by on Fanfiction.net which is where I post all my stories, and there's never anything like a sporking, which I think could prove tremendously beneficial to my overall performance as a writer.
So I'm posting the story in question to my Dreamwidth account and throwing it out for a spork.
The story assumes quite a bit of familiarity with the series, but if you want to jump into it headfirst no further questions asked, here ya go: Brilliant Minds and Black Hearts Ch1
If you want some more detail...
This fic is a bit of a deconstruction of the exceedingly common fanfic trope of 'person gets sent to Naruto-verse with full knowledge of the series'. Other common tropes are being reincarnated into that world, getting a kekkai genkai (super power unique to a certain family), and getting with the character they find most attractive, sometimes involving a harem.
Basically your stock standard MarySue/GaryStu story.
Where the deconstruction comes in is that this character, Koga, is an asocial, borderline sociopathic loner who's about two, maybe three steps off being a serial killer.
He has just been stuffed into the body of a child with the power of having ultra-efficient spiritual power (chakra) that naturally produces effects roughly 100 times what anyone else could do with an equivalent amount. Translator microbes are in effect, and he has been granted access to a library and lab with virtually infinite data on how the world he's been transported to works.
He makes friends with the gender flipped main character Naruko and quickly becomes the most precious person in the world to her and she to him. His genuine affection for her quickly becomes one of his only redeeming qualities aside from his sense of humor and immense value to any organization he lends his abilities to.
This is then promptly flipped on its head because their relationship rapidly becomes mutually toxic, with her becoming a spoiled violent brat and a bit of a yandere who on top of that is also quite the little fille fatale. Thanks to the unexpected presence of adult literature in Koga's library, she knows what sex is and that it can be used to further cement affection, leading to her trying repeatedly to seduce Koga before she's even ten years old. Koga for his part is absolutely horrified by this, but because he intends to still be dating her ten years later when that sort of thing is appropriate, he lets it slide.
Koga for his part becomes violently protective of her, and is willing to go to outlandish extremes to counter and exterminate anything which would hurt or separate him from Naruko. This leads to no small amount of manipulation on his part to keep her close, and after leveraging his resources and power into nigh-omnipotence, he casually commits his first genocide before his new body is even ten years old. He also uses his powers to spy on the entire country simultaneously, then the entire continent and beyond, with the intent of finding and dealing with any and all potential threats, and the unforeseen side effect of mentally aging him into the oldest being on the planet in a matter of months. This results in him being a bit suicidal throughout most of the last quarter or so of the story, though he was starting to get better towards what wound up being the final chapter.
The arc in question would've seen his full redemption from the dangerous near-sociopathic villain he started the story as and becoming a proper hero. It was going to be pretty epic I think.
Unfortunately, the story ended quite by surprise when I (and by extension Koga) realized that he is perfectly capable of brainwashing, killing or banishing-to-a-different-dimension anyone and everyone he wants at the drop of a hat. This led to me aborting the arc he had that realization in because after that revelation, there's absolutely nothing that can stop him. It ends on an uncertain note with heavy implications that he's finally broken under the weight of his incalculable age and the revelation that he can quite literally reshape the world on a whim was the final straw that made him shatter, and that this mental break is about to mean something comparable to the end of the world because he's got more than enough power and motive to completely rewrite it.
Needless to say, it's a rather complicated plot and set of characters, so I'm interested to hear what people think in more than just the little snarky quips, random ill-considered flaming or general noises of approval my commenters on FFN tend to leave me.
I think it could've gone considerably better, and I will definitely do some things different if I ever tackle another Naruto-fic, but I'm biased, so please, anyone who feels like having a good spork, be my guest. Also do please note that a lot of stuff that happens that seems out of the blue in one chapter may be addressed in either the author's notes or oftentimes in the next chapter because Koga is a sneaky manipulative little devil who you sometimes really need a peek behind the scenes to find out just what the hell he did or why he did it.
Up until recently the vast majority of my work has been for the Naruto series, but over the last year or two I've grown steadily more and more burnt out on it. This means that most of my Naruto-fics will most likely be abandoned, but one was actually finished recently.
I'm not particularly satisfied with how it turned out, but it is the most logical end result of the premise I set for the story. That being said, good and thoughtful reviews are extremely difficult to come by on Fanfiction.net which is where I post all my stories, and there's never anything like a sporking, which I think could prove tremendously beneficial to my overall performance as a writer.
So I'm posting the story in question to my Dreamwidth account and throwing it out for a spork.
The story assumes quite a bit of familiarity with the series, but if you want to jump into it headfirst no further questions asked, here ya go: Brilliant Minds and Black Hearts Ch1
If you want some more detail...
This fic is a bit of a deconstruction of the exceedingly common fanfic trope of 'person gets sent to Naruto-verse with full knowledge of the series'. Other common tropes are being reincarnated into that world, getting a kekkai genkai (super power unique to a certain family), and getting with the character they find most attractive, sometimes involving a harem.
Basically your stock standard MarySue/GaryStu story.
Where the deconstruction comes in is that this character, Koga, is an asocial, borderline sociopathic loner who's about two, maybe three steps off being a serial killer.
He has just been stuffed into the body of a child with the power of having ultra-efficient spiritual power (chakra) that naturally produces effects roughly 100 times what anyone else could do with an equivalent amount. Translator microbes are in effect, and he has been granted access to a library and lab with virtually infinite data on how the world he's been transported to works.
He makes friends with the gender flipped main character Naruko and quickly becomes the most precious person in the world to her and she to him. His genuine affection for her quickly becomes one of his only redeeming qualities aside from his sense of humor and immense value to any organization he lends his abilities to.
This is then promptly flipped on its head because their relationship rapidly becomes mutually toxic, with her becoming a spoiled violent brat and a bit of a yandere who on top of that is also quite the little fille fatale. Thanks to the unexpected presence of adult literature in Koga's library, she knows what sex is and that it can be used to further cement affection, leading to her trying repeatedly to seduce Koga before she's even ten years old. Koga for his part is absolutely horrified by this, but because he intends to still be dating her ten years later when that sort of thing is appropriate, he lets it slide.
Koga for his part becomes violently protective of her, and is willing to go to outlandish extremes to counter and exterminate anything which would hurt or separate him from Naruko. This leads to no small amount of manipulation on his part to keep her close, and after leveraging his resources and power into nigh-omnipotence, he casually commits his first genocide before his new body is even ten years old. He also uses his powers to spy on the entire country simultaneously, then the entire continent and beyond, with the intent of finding and dealing with any and all potential threats, and the unforeseen side effect of mentally aging him into the oldest being on the planet in a matter of months. This results in him being a bit suicidal throughout most of the last quarter or so of the story, though he was starting to get better towards what wound up being the final chapter.
The arc in question would've seen his full redemption from the dangerous near-sociopathic villain he started the story as and becoming a proper hero. It was going to be pretty epic I think.
Unfortunately, the story ended quite by surprise when I (and by extension Koga) realized that he is perfectly capable of brainwashing, killing or banishing-to-a-different-dimension anyone and everyone he wants at the drop of a hat. This led to me aborting the arc he had that realization in because after that revelation, there's absolutely nothing that can stop him. It ends on an uncertain note with heavy implications that he's finally broken under the weight of his incalculable age and the revelation that he can quite literally reshape the world on a whim was the final straw that made him shatter, and that this mental break is about to mean something comparable to the end of the world because he's got more than enough power and motive to completely rewrite it.
Needless to say, it's a rather complicated plot and set of characters, so I'm interested to hear what people think in more than just the little snarky quips, random ill-considered flaming or general noises of approval my commenters on FFN tend to leave me.
I think it could've gone considerably better, and I will definitely do some things different if I ever tackle another Naruto-fic, but I'm biased, so please, anyone who feels like having a good spork, be my guest. Also do please note that a lot of stuff that happens that seems out of the blue in one chapter may be addressed in either the author's notes or oftentimes in the next chapter because Koga is a sneaky manipulative little devil who you sometimes really need a peek behind the scenes to find out just what the hell he did or why he did it.
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Date: 2020-01-12 07:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-01-13 03:02 am (UTC)