Worse, his suicide wasn’t “courageous”. It was the easy way out.
Basically the guy was a suicide bomber, and only a deranged terrorist would call that kind of person brave or heroic. There's a reason why in real life suicide bombers are considered some of the lowest scumbags and cowards on the planet. But then this book and series is horribly insensitive and clueless about suicide in general (the nadir of which is definitely poor Galby's revoltingly cruel demise).
Which means somebody’s going to need to come up with an explanation as to why Silvari made Cuaroc his mecha.
I'm going to have a lot of fun with that when I write the next bit. :D
Like I said before, I’m fairly certain Galby had more help than the history is saying he did. That’s the only way he could fight an order of ancients with twelve other people on his side and win. This crap didn’t happen with the Jedi order, either, by the way.
Indeed, plus the Jedi were scattered all over the galaxy and were picked off individually. They weren't all together in a big group with plenty of forewarning, and there weren't hundreds and hundreds of them.
No matter HOW cunning or underhanded he was, there is no way in hell Galby and the Forsworn could have defeated them in open warfare. None.
If we had contacted you after the Battle of the Burning Plains, for example, what good would it have done, with the Varden still so far from Urû’baen?
Well, we could always bring up the fact that the Varden is completely pointless to begin with. In the end this whole conflict boils down to Rider vs Rider, and the armies are nothing but completely unnecessary set dressing. We don't even know what the hell the Varden is supposed to be fighting for (other than it clearly ain't for the good of the oppressed masses. Just the opposite, in fact).
Because Eragon isn’t a person. He’s a puppet.
Indeed. He never reacts like a goddamn human being, no matter how outrageous or horrible the situation is. He didn't react like a person upon being elfified without his consent, or when he was bound to Saphira - again, without his consent.
What really slays me about this part is that this is the same kid who threw a tantrum on being asked to co-operate with Orik of his own free will because wah wah my freedom I don't want anyone else controlling me, wah, and yet now he finds out he's been fucking brainwashed and used as a puppet by a bunch of dead dragons without his knowledge or consent and he acts like it's a GOOD thing! So not only is he horribly unrealistic and one dimensional, but what little characterisation he has isn't even consistently written.
Your cousin has required no assistance from us.
Yeah right. Because as was pointed out last time this chapter went under the spork, if anything in this stupid series desperately needs to be explained it's how in the hell Roran went from everyman peasant to a mass murdering invincible super soldier. Eragon's sudden ascent to ubermensch status is ridiculously unbelievable all by itself, but Roran's is twice as bad and doesn't get ANY kind of justification, no matter how flimsy. At least Eragon had to learn how to use a sword - Roran just grabs a random hammer an becomes an instant expert! It's so stupid it's downright insulting.
We have watched you grow from hatchlings to mighty warriors, and we are proud of all you have accomplished. You, Eragon, have been all we hoped for in a new Rider. And you, Saphira, have proven yourself worthy of being counted among the greatest members of our race.
Oh barf. They're nothing even close to resembling "mighty warriors". Senseless mass slaughter isn't warriorship; it's just butchery. You might as well call John Wayne Gacy a mighty warrior because he had thirty plus bodies buried under his house. And if these two useless idiots who haven't accomplished anything worthy of admiration are good enough to be considered right up there with the greats of the old order, then that doesn't say anything good about the old order in general, does it? What, in order to be considered "among the greatest members of our race" all you have to do is kill a bunch of people in between mindlessly going along with whatever your Rider says? And to be considered "all we hoped for in a new Rider" all you have to do is even more killing when you aren't being a whiny, demanding little hypocrite and an egomaniac. Good god.
Now that you have found us, our days of hiding are over; we would go with you to Urû’baen and fight alongside you to kill Galbatorix.
And in the end the addition of all this dead dragon firepower doesn't make any damn difference anyway, because they're 100% useless in the final confrontation and Ergy just wins via a stupid out of nowhere Deus Ex Machina anyway. The Eldunari collecting business is nothing but a meaningless escalation of already absurd power levels when you get right down to it.
The time has come for us to leave our den and once and for all confront that traitorous egg- breaker.
These chucklefucks have some nerve calling him that given just how many eggs their suicide bomber plan destroyed. And when did Galby go around crushing dragon eggs anyway? And why would he do that? If he wanted to wipe out the entire species, why keep the three eggs he did manage to find? This is just stupid bullshit which makes no sense.
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Basically the guy was a suicide bomber, and only a deranged terrorist would call that kind of person brave or heroic. There's a reason why in real life suicide bombers are considered some of the lowest scumbags and cowards on the planet. But then this book and series is horribly insensitive and clueless about suicide in general (the nadir of which is definitely poor Galby's revoltingly cruel demise).
I'm going to have a lot of fun with that when I write the next bit. :D
Indeed, plus the Jedi were scattered all over the galaxy and were picked off individually. They weren't all together in a big group with plenty of forewarning, and there weren't hundreds and hundreds of them.
No matter HOW cunning or underhanded he was, there is no way in hell Galby and the Forsworn could have defeated them in open warfare. None.
Well, we could always bring up the fact that the Varden is completely pointless to begin with. In the end this whole conflict boils down to Rider vs Rider, and the armies are nothing but completely unnecessary set dressing. We don't even know what the hell the Varden is supposed to be fighting for (other than it clearly ain't for the good of the oppressed masses. Just the opposite, in fact).
Indeed. He never reacts like a goddamn human being, no matter how outrageous or horrible the situation is. He didn't react like a person upon being elfified without his consent, or when he was bound to Saphira - again, without his consent.
What really slays me about this part is that this is the same kid who threw a tantrum on being asked to co-operate with Orik of his own free will because wah wah my freedom I don't want anyone else controlling me, wah, and yet now he finds out he's been fucking brainwashed and used as a puppet by a bunch of dead dragons without his knowledge or consent and he acts like it's a GOOD thing! So not only is he horribly unrealistic and one dimensional, but what little characterisation he has isn't even consistently written.
Yeah right. Because as was pointed out last time this chapter went under the spork, if anything in this stupid series desperately needs to be explained it's how in the hell Roran went from everyman peasant to a mass murdering invincible super soldier. Eragon's sudden ascent to ubermensch status is ridiculously unbelievable all by itself, but Roran's is twice as bad and doesn't get ANY kind of justification, no matter how flimsy. At least Eragon had to learn how to use a sword - Roran just grabs a random hammer an becomes an instant expert! It's so stupid it's downright insulting.
Oh barf. They're nothing even close to resembling "mighty warriors". Senseless mass slaughter isn't warriorship; it's just butchery. You might as well call John Wayne Gacy a mighty warrior because he had thirty plus bodies buried under his house. And if these two useless idiots who haven't accomplished anything worthy of admiration are good enough to be considered right up there with the greats of the old order, then that doesn't say anything good about the old order in general, does it? What, in order to be considered "among the greatest members of our race" all you have to do is kill a bunch of people in between mindlessly going along with whatever your Rider says? And to be considered "all we hoped for in a new Rider" all you have to do is even more killing when you aren't being a whiny, demanding little hypocrite and an egomaniac. Good god.
And in the end the addition of all this dead dragon firepower doesn't make any damn difference anyway, because they're 100% useless in the final confrontation and Ergy just wins via a stupid out of nowhere Deus Ex Machina anyway. The Eldunari collecting business is nothing but a meaningless escalation of already absurd power levels when you get right down to it.
These chucklefucks have some nerve calling him that given just how many eggs their suicide bomber plan destroyed. And when did Galby go around crushing dragon eggs anyway? And why would he do that? If he wanted to wipe out the entire species, why keep the three eggs he did manage to find? This is just stupid bullshit which makes no sense.