Forkwitch: Let's Talk About That Map

[torylltales]

Which map? This one, from the front of The Fork, The Witch, and The Worm.



I feel a mighty need to rant about that map. First, it looks like the product of 10 minutes in CorelDraw 6. Stylistically similar to the monochrome map of Alagaesia, but somehow colourising it just makes it look sloppy and rushed.

The big thing, though: Where is that river flowing from or to?!

The map labels it as the Edda River, which originated on the easternmost edge of the "distant" Alagaesia map. So... it's been running inland for long enough for Alagaesia to be regarded as "distant"? And instead of flowing towards the large bodies of water to the north, it flows UPHILL towards a mountain, skirts around the base of the mountain, continues flowing UPWARDS towards the hills and...  cliffs?... and then down through a forest, heading AWAY from another body of water.

THAT'S NOT HOW WATER FLOWS


But you know the worst thing about it? Look closely, it's easy to miss


Actually, that's a trick question. The worst thing about the map is on the next page over.





HE DIDN'T EVEN COLOUR IT HIMSELF

SEVEN YEARS TO PLAN THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF ERAGON & CO AND HE COULDN'T EVEN COLOUR IN THE MAP HIMSELF

It would have taken him half an hour to an hour at most in Photoshop, or even with actual pencils. WHY did Immanuela need to be involved, when one of Paolini's artistic strengths lies in colouring and shading?!


Before you even read a single word of the story, this is a clear warning, like a garishly-coloured beetle, of the laziness and carelessness that lies in wait should you continue.

Comments

[epistler]

No offense to his personal assistant (why the hell does he even need one?) but that map is ugly as hell. It's garish and childish.

[gharial]

I take it this post has pictures we cannot see due to dreamwidth's esoteric file attachment system.

[gharial]

The Edda river begins in the Beor Mountains and elfland. It's actually two rivers joining up forming one (seemingly of equal size which probably happens in the real world though I don't know any examples). The flow makes sense if we assume that large body of water isn't the ocean and instead is just another lake. That would give it a south easterly flow. It would also mean the river flowing form those lakes is yet another separate river that becomes it's tributary. This direction of flow also makes a bit of sense considering we know there's a coast roughly to the south while where the north ends is mostly unknown.

Here's a mock up of the idea I'm suggesting.
https://i.imgur.com/c84b5eS.png

[cavuy]

Just looking at those hills south of Mount Argnor I thought the entire image was distorted. It looks like he drew the hills, decided they were too small but did not have any time to redraw them, so he just took it into Photoshop and stretched them. Very sloppy.

[vorpaltongue]

A few questions occur to me; what's with the red pyramid? What's the red Diglett west of the pyramid? What the hell are those boils in the south? What the bloody hell is THAT in the middle of the map? And why in the everlasting fractal fuck is it in colour?

[snarkbotanya]

Arngor? ARNGOR?

Nice to see he's still stealing Tolkien's names... that's literally just "Arnor" with a G shoved in the middle!


On a more geography-related note... my prototype map for the world of my novel has a few weird-flowing rivers, but the ones that flow inland aren't flowing into the hllls, they're flowing downward into a basin, and their path ends in an inland sea. If the Edda's flow were stated to still be going slowly, slowly downward from some highlands in "distant Alagaesia", that'd be fine... but if that's what you intended to show, Paolini, then you FAILED. Miserably.