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antishurtugal_reborn2025-06-23 07:19 am
masterghandalf) wrote in antishurtugal_reborn2025-06-23 07:19 am
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The Scrolls of the Ancients: Chapter Forty-Two, Chapter Forty-Three and Chapter Forty-Four
Warning: This post contains depiction and/or discussion of abuse, torture, and brainwashing.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Scrolls of the Ancients! Last time we wrapped up Part III as Wigg survived his trial because of the “inherent goodness” of his endowed blood (blargh), Krassus rather anticlimactically found the spells he needs to mold Wulfgar to his will, and Tristan and Tyranny put in at the Stereotypical Pirate Port™ for repairs. Today, we begin Part IV: Rebirth as Tristan meets the sailmaker, Krassus goes to work, and Wigg and Faegan return to Tammerland. Joining us today will be Tahiri and Ash!
Tahiri: Yaaay, back here again, just what I always wanted… and since this is the beginning of a Part, we start off with a quote, this time from the Scroll of the Vigors itself: In a sense, time has no place in the practice of the craft. For to those who shall grant themselves the time enchantments, sometimes a year shall seem as a day and a day as a mere moment. And the Forestallments granted into their blood shall give rise to great gifts, some wondrous, and some terrible in their applications. *shrugs* And I have no idea what that last part has to do with time; seems like the Scroll just veered off onto a completely different topic there. And I can assure you, just because you’re so long-lived you don’t notice the passing of time, that doesn’t mean things don’t happen in that time.
Blood Matters: 160
Chapter Forty-Two
Tahiri: And so, we open as Tristan makes his way into the Wing and Claw at Sanctuary, and it’s… about what you’d expect:
The room before him was very large and very dark, lit only by several dim, oil lamp chandeliers. Tables filled the room, and a long bar sat before the wall to his right. In one corner a stairway could be seen leading to the second floor—to the bedrooms, he assumed. Men and women were cavorting loudly. Some, already in varying stages of undress, were locked in passionate embraces. Others were busy drinking and playing at dice or cards, the losers shouting out obscenities or invectives at the Afterlife. One man sat on a chair in the corner, a pipe held between his teeth as he happily ground out ditties from an ancient-looking squeezebox. The entire place smelled of sex and stale liquor.
Tahiri: …so, it sounds to me like it’s basically the Mos Eisley Cantina, except with more sex and only humans. Fuuun. And so, Tristan heads up to the bar as nobody seems to notice him and approaches the one-eyed barkeep… a thin, greasy-looking creature who walked with a decisive limp. And apparently the lid over his missing eye is sewn shut, too. And don’t think I didn’t notice the fact that this man’s disabilities seem to be what make him look untrustworthy, either. *rubs the scars on her own forehead idly* Where were we? Oh, we’re not helped by the fact that Tristan literally has to fight down his revulsion at the barkeep’s appearance to order his ale. Sleemo (that being Tristan, not the barkeep). And it turns out the barkeep doesn’t even have ale, since they only sell mead on this island. Not that I spend a lot of time in sleezy cantinas, but I’d think your customers might like some variety? I mean, you’re pirates – are exotic goods really that hard to come by for you? So Tristan has to order mead – the cheap stuff, not the good stuff – though he immediately chokes from revulsion on it when he tastes it. To be fair, he did order the cheap stuff, and the barkeep laughs at his misfortune, telling him it takes some getting used to.
Gratuitous Grimdark: 43 (on reflection, I think how gross everything is merits a point)
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 67 (…as does Tristan’s ableism and elitism)
Ash: Well, Tristan turns around and nearly walks into a blonde woman of about his own age, wearing a tattered dress. She, of course, claims Tristan must be new around here since she’s never slept with him before *sighs audibly* and immediately grabs for his groin – please, have some self-respect, make him cough up the money first. She also jokes about how the “cheap” mead comes from the “community keg,” which apparently is filled with all the leftovers from half-drunk tankards nobody gets around to finishing. *she shudders* That’s… lovely. And the barkeep indeed confirms that’s what it is. And apparently this is by Rolf’s orders, since he doesn’t want to waste anything. Uh… ew? And, goddess help me, is there a reason we’re spending so much time on this? Tristan, clearly and understandably desperate to change the subject, says he’s looking for a man, which disappoints the woman who says that’s a waste (normally I might say that maybe the men wouldn’t agree… but considering what a lousy romantic partner Tristan has shown himself to be, celibacy in general would probably be the best option for him!). Tristan corrects this “humorous” misunderstanding and says he’s not looking for a man for that, and says he’s here for Ichabod the sailmaker. The woman – who is apparently a prostitute, so she really should have wanted Tristan to pay! – points him out; he’s apparently in his usual spot, playing cards, and has a handlebar mustache and expensive black clothes, because this book has no subtlety whatsoever.
Gender Wars: 50
Gratuitous Grimdark: 44
Tahiri: Oh, and of course before Tristan heads over to talk to Ichabod the woman says that if he changes his mind, she’ll be waiting. Because of course even jaded tavern prostitutes simply must be swooning over our manly hero *fans herself mockingly* Tristan takes a seat near Ichabod to watch him for a while; he notices he’s playing against three other men at the moment and seems to be winning.
He was tall, and dressed in black breeches, jacket, ruffled white shirt, and vest. Rings adorned nearly every finger. Shiny black knee boots were on his feet, and he sported and equally dark mustache that he worried almost constantly by twisting its curled, waxed ends. Unlike the other men at the table, Ichabod looked very prosperous. He also seemed to be unarmed, but the prince knew that in a place like this, that meant nothing.
Tahiri: He also thinks that Ichabod reminds him of an undertaker he once knew (how many undertakers does a crown prince meet, anyway? Maybe I should ask Tenel Ka, next time I see her…), though to me, he seems more like a Hutt’s functionary from a cheap holodrama. Tristan watches Ichabod play for a while, decides he’s a little too good, and works out what his secret must be. *rolls her eyes* This is just going to be a less interesting version of that story Captain Solo likes to tell about how he won the Millennium Falcon from Lando Calrissian, isn’t it? Well, not quite, as Tristan walks up behind Ichabod, waits for his turn, and then literally grabs one of his cards out of his hand and plays it for him, declaring dreng. Ichabod, as you might imagine, is not happy and demands to know just who he is; Tristan claims he just made Ichabod fifty kisa, but… all he did was play what Ichabod already had in his hand. Wasn’t he going to win anyway? All he wants in return is a moment of Ichabod’s time. I think he’s going to be lucky if he gets out of here without being stabbed – hadn’t he already decided Ichabod was a dangerous man?
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 70
Ash: And I’m still not sure how or why he accomplished anything other than putting into the game and pissing Ichabod off… and indeed Ichabod demands to know who Tristan is and what he really wants, and if he doesn’t answer, he’ll have his “friends” cut you from groin to gizzard with a dull deer antler and feed what’s left to the sharks. Oh, yes – clearly, Tristan has made a friend! Tristan takes a seat, noting Ichabod’s tablemates’ weapons and how they’re clearly angry at him for costing him money (but, like Tahiri said, I don’t think he actually changed the outcome at all, unless Ichabod wasn’t planning on playing his winning hand…). So Tristan explains he’s a prospective customer, he needs fast work, he’s willing to pay extra for it, and he wants to talk to Ichabod about it somewhere private. And indeed, Ichabod is interested and invites Tristan over to another, more out-of-the-way table, which makes me wonder again why all that was necessary. He asks if Tristan has a list of what he needs, and when he explains the damage asks how it happened – Tristan explains about the screechlings, and that he needs the sails done by tomorrow. Ichabod in turn says that will be a very difficult job and will cost extra, one thousand kisa. Tristan offers three hundred, Ichabod counters with five, Tristan offers four, and when Ichabod won’t bite and tries to leave, Tristan literally threatens him if he does, saying he may lose his life if he doesn’t take the job. Our hero, everyone! And honestly, Ichabod sounds like a scoundrel, but Tristan’s negotiating tactics are just sad. Maybe if you hadn’t antagonized this man to begin with, he might be more willing to work with you! Anyway, Tristan doesn’t plan to kill Ichabod himself, but he does know how he cheats at cards and will show everyone in the tavern if Ichabod won’t do the job, and they’ll probably tear him apart – with Rolf’s help, if Ichabod hasn’t been giving him a cut.
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 72
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 68
Tahiri: Ichabod claims that nobody will believe Tristan over him; Tristan points out that Ichabod’s cards are edged with the same wax he uses on his mustache, which… I guess is a sign of how he cheats? *she shrugs* I don’t even play much sabacc, much less… dreng… so beats me how that proves anything, but Ichabod is so cowed by the idea that he immediately drops back down to his seat and decides four hundred kisa would be just fine. Tristan promises to pay but reminds him not to cross him, and gives him directions on where to find People’s Revenge. And if Ichabod doesn’t keep his part of the bargain, Tristan promises to find him and gut him with one of his knives, from groin to gizzard. I thought the threat was to expose his cheating and let his “friends” handle him… oh, never mind. But Ichabod agrees, and he and Tristan spit into their palms and shake on it the way Tyranny showed him – and that’s when the door to the tavern opens and Scars comes in! What a twist! But then Tristan notices that Scars’s hands are bound and he has two pirates guarding him. The pirates force scars into the building and Tristan sees another silhouette through the door, though with the light shining behind it he can’t make out much detail other than that it has too many limbs to be a single person (how very… dramatic!). But then part of the silhouette gets hurled headlong into the tavern and crashes into a table, where it turns out to be Tyranny, who lies there in a daze. A moment later a man stalks in and grabs her by her hair, declaring he’s looking for the man who came here with this. Oh, I wonder who this could be… and of course, he’s treating Tyranny like a thing rather than a person, because this book has no subtlety at all. And Newcomb’s somehow making Tyranny’s plight all about Tristan, too, as the man – Rolf, I presume – demands to know who the other rooster in my henhouse is, and if he doesn’t reveal himself, he’ll slit Tyranny’s throat. And so, endowed blood rising hotly – stop it – Tristan clutches the hilt of one of his knives… and the chapter ends there. Great.
Blood Matters: 161
Dastardly Deeds: 117
Gender Wars: 52 (one point for Rolf’s own sexism, one point for Tyranny getting damselled)
Gratuitous Grimdark: 45
Chapter Forty-Three
Ash: And so, we open this chapter with Krassus asking Wulfgar if he’s comfortable. As it happens, Wulfgar is tied to a table in the scriptorium, bound hand and foot and wearing nothing but a pair of emerald-green silk trousers, so… I guess it depends on whether he’s into that sort of thing? And whether he’s here of his own volition, so… probably not, all told. But as he stares up at Krassus – who we’re reminded yet again has white hair and a two-toned robe, as if we didn’t know that already – his heart beats wildly while he’s drenched in a cold sweat from fear. The Scroll of the Vagaries is also unfurled and hovering nearby. Wulfgar demands to know what Krassus is going to do to him, and Krassus says it’s what he promised to do when they spoke in Wulfgar’s quarters. I shall introduce you to something wonderful – something that will change your life forever. In the end you will thank me. And before we are finished, you will find yourself begging for more. *visibly uncomfortable* If that’s supposed to make this sound less sexual… Wulfgar promises to escape, find his siblings, and return to kill Krassus and his slavers – good man! If you should happen to find yourself near Waterdeep, do look up the Promenade temple. Eilistraee is a goddess of freedom, and she does not look kindly on slavers – and if I’m in residence when you’re there, you’ll have my sword! Alas, Krassus is unperturbed, saying he has no doubt Wulfgar will fight him because that’s the nature of his blood (stop. It.) and so will Serena. But Krassus is only carrying out Nicholas’s bidding, and once he’s done with Wulfgar, Wulfgar will want to command the demonslavers willingly. Oh, goddess help me, Newcomb’s going to go through with it, isn’t he… Krassus muses to himself he should start with one of the weaker Forestallments to give Wulfgar’s blood time to adjust as he works his way up to the stronger ones. When I finally deem you ready, I will gift you with the one Forestallment that will change the world forever – the one my loyal consuls worked so hard to uncover in the scroll. *her eyes cold and hard* And when I deem the time right, I will come to liberate this wretched island and free all the slaves, including Wulfgar and Serena, from your power, by blade and holy fire. In Eilistraee’s name!
Blood Matters: 164
Exposition Intrusion: 188
Tahiri: Hear, hear! I mean, I don’t know anything about Eilistraee, but she sounds all right, to hear you talk about her. And I’ll be right with you; as the Jedi of old said, for Light and Life! Krassus begins the casting, but is interrupted by another coughing fit, and he realizes they’re getting worse (great job, Nicholas!). And Wulfgar points out that at this rate Krassus might die before he can turn him and asks if Nicholas considered that. Ugh – why does the book point out its own plot holes, now? Krassus just says he’ll live long enough to see things through and gets back to work. First he makes a small incision and collects some of Wulfgar’s blood in a vial, then commits the incantation from the scroll to memory (is this the most we’ve ever gotten on how a spell is actually cast on this warped planet? I think it might be, actually!) and places a hand on Wulfgar’s forehead. And, of course, Wulfgar starts screaming, his body jerking around in agony as it arched with exquisite pain – oh, is our narrator one of the Yuuzhan Vong, now? And probably one of the Shai domain at that, the masochistic freaks. Krassus fears Wulfgar will injure himself, but keeps going; when he’s done, Wulfgar has passed out from the pain, but Krassus tests another drop of his blood against the original sample and confirms that not only has the Forestallment taken, but Wulfgar’s blood signature now leans even further left. *she groans and buries her face in her hands* I… I should be horrified by this, especially considering my own past. But it’s just so… stupid. At least in my galaxy, the dark side of the Force is something you have to choose to embrace; when Mezhan Kwaad tried to remake me into a Yuuzhan Vong, she basically had to take my whole personality apart and rebuild it from the ground up, and it still didn’t work out the way she wanted it to. This… this is just sad, like Krassus thinks that by editing Wulfgar’s “blood signature” he can rewrite his whole personality. It doesn’t work that way! Well, in a sane world, it wouldn’t. With Newcomb writing… it probably will, Force help us all…
Blood Matters: 168
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 73
Ash: And of course, need it be said, morality is about a person’s deeds, not the direction their blood “leans.” You might as well say a person’s fingerprint determines their moral character… goddess, Newcomb might just believe that… Well, Krassus is pleased that what Nicholas explained to him as theory actually works in practice, and as he takes a moment to think about it, some realizations come to him. First, that Failee must have possessed at least one of the Scrolls and that’s where she got the ability to weave Forestallments from, since even she couldn’t have reinvented that branch of magic entirely on her own. So, am I to take it to mean that Failee really did know how to alter a person’s blood signature to change their moral alignment *growls angrily* and she still put Shailiha through that stupid, overly-complex brainwashing technique? Really? Why would she ever think that was a good idea?
MG: Probably because Newcomb hadn’t come up with the idea of blood signatures working like this when he wrote the first book tbh.
Ash: …you’re probably right. *sighs heavily* Well, Krassus thinks that the Coven didn’t have the Scrolls when they were exiled, so either Failee found them in Parthalon or she had them in Eutracia before they were banished and hid them there and had Succiu retrieve them during the invasion. But that doesn’t explain where Nicholas got them, or where Failee found them originally. And in any case, Krassus thinks that all the Forestallments Tristan, Shailiha and Celeste have must be Vagaries-aligned, since either Failee only had the Scroll of the Vagaries, or she had both but would never have used the Scrolls of the Vigors. Which… I think would be pretty obvious? And of course none of them were turned to the Vagaries by their Forestallments like poor Wulfgar is being set up for, because they’re special *hisses angrily*. But Krassus decides the answers to all this don’t matter, since he just has to finish Nicholas’s mission before he dies. So he turns back to the Scroll, selects another incantation, and starts the process again. Wulfgar’s eyes snapped open. His screaming went on long into the night. And on that absolutely horrifying note, the chapter ends.
Blood Matters: 172
Dastardly Deeds: 119
Exposition Intrusion: 192
Retcons and Revelations: 25
Chapter Forty-Four
Tahiri: And so, our final chapter for the day opens with Faegan removing his hand from Wigg’s forehead, assuring everyone that though he went through an ordeal, he’ll survive and make a full recovery. Boo! We learn that Faegan, Shailiha, Celeste, and Abbey are all standing around Wigg’s bed, and even Baby Morganna is there for some reason, in a new infant’s carriage made for her by Shannon the Short (Newcomb, why?). Now I’m just wondering whether they stuck Morganna in Wigg’s room, or Wigg in Morganna’s room. Either way, that poor kid! Wigg himself is still sleeping; Celeste reaches out to touch his forehead herself and finds his skin cool, and her eyes are “shiny,” which I guess means she’s on the verge of tears. We then learn that the Minions arrived back with the two wizards not long ago, and everyone was just so upset when Wigg came back in stricken condition. Serves him about right, if you ask me. Faegan then explained to everyone what happened, and Shailiha asks when they can use the new herbs they got, since she’s anxious for Abbey to try scrying for Tristan again. Also, apparently the Minion armada left Parthalon a few days ago, under the joint command of Geldon and Traax, and I really wish we could be reading about them instead. We also take far too much time explaining how Shailiha and Celeste got all of Faegan’s herbs transported from Shadowood to the palace while the wizards were gone (something they… showed no signs of doing on the times we checked in on them, yay!).
Exposition Intrusion: 194
Ash: After thinking it over, Faegan asks Abbey if she can make a gazing flame using just oils without herbs; apparently she can, but it won’t be as effective, since herbs work better for that sort of thing. I’ll… take her word for it. However, Faegan actually does have a solution of oils that will work, down in the Redoubt. And, as it happens, the oil the watchwoman gave Faegan to separate and sort the other oils will work right away. Convenient, that. And so, everyone, except for Celeste who is staying with Wigg (and Morganna, for safety reasons), gets ready to head down to the Redoubt to try this out. So Faegan bids farewell to Wigg, Shailiha kisses her daughter goodbye (and gets her hair tugged for her troubles) and they all head off, the heels of the women’s shoes ringing out crisply against the shiny marble floor. So… do the women just wear high heels all the time walking around the palace, then? Does Newcomb think all women just automatically wear high heels? *she shakes her head* Probably. But they all make it down to the laboratory; it reminded Shailiha of a teaching chamber, complete with text-and-scroll-filled bookcases, a long table near the far wall, and rows of dusty mahogany, desk-topped chairs. So… about what you might expect. Shailiha allows herself to think fondly of how busy this room might have been in happier times (ignoring, of course, that it was Wigg’s poor decision making that led to Tammerland getting sacked and all the consuls killed or corrupted). Faegan then rolls over to the vat of oils as he uses his Consummate Recollection to remember the watchwoman’s instructions precisely and argh, by the goddess, stop it! This isn’t even exceptional memory, it’s just… normal remembering. He’s not special, stop trying to act like he is!
Contrivances and Coincidences: 43
Exposition Intrusion: 196
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 69
Tahiri: Hear, hear. Well, Faegan realizes they’ll need lots of glass containers, so he manages to collect several hundred(!) beakers and such from around the Redoubt and sets them all up in the laboratory. He then telekinetically summons the vat of oils over and opens it and then prepares to mix the oil the watchwoman gave him into it, though he’s not sure what will happen next. *beat* Is something going to blow up? Because that might be a little funny, at least. He telekinetically opens the vial from the gardens and pours it in, and after a few moments the whole vat starts glowing azure and its contents start revolving around. And then, uh, this happens:
There came a great howling noise, and the contents of the vat rose into the air in a whirling, multicolored maelstrom of oil. On and on it came, until all of it had cleared the vat. Free of its container, it spun faster yet. Then centrifugal force began forcing the oil to fly outward, gradually separating into individual pools that hovered just above the lips of the glassware.
Finally the howling stopped, and the oil pools poured themselves into the various containers all at once. Then things went silent, the oils settling into their containers and finally growing still.
Tahiri: Except even that isn’t the end, as the oil vat starts shaking again and then starts vomiting out actual labels in Old Eutracian that affix themselves to the sides of the beakers. *stunned* Okay, one, that’s convenient, and two, what was in that oil the watchwoman gave Faegan? This seems like kind of a lot of very specific work for one oil to do, no matter how magical it is! But even Faegan is left awestruck by all of this (to be fair, it sounds like it was pretty spectacular, even if it didn’t make much sense), especially once he starts checking all the labels. It even makes him so happy he starts cackling (why am I picturing Faegan as one of those old historical holos of Emperor Palpatine now?) and spinning around on his chair in midair. He starts laughing about how this is unprecedented and how it would’ve taken a lifetime to do it by hand and I’ve got to say, the novelty is really starting to wear off. Indeed, Faegan actually needs Shailiha to remind him that the actual reason they did this is so Abbey can find the oil she needs to scry for Tristan. Oh, yeah – great guy, that Faegan!
Contrivances and Coincidences: 45 (I know it’s magic, but the effects of that “oil” were… remarkably specific)
Ash: Well, he is the man who apparently decided trying to rescue his kidnapped daughter from the evil cult that took her would be too inconvenient, so… he doesn’t exactly have a wonderful track record with his priorities. Or basic decency. Anyway, Wigg finds the oil he’s looking for, sniffs it to make sure the labeling was right (of course it was…) and then everyone heads back up to the courtyard to do the scrying. Once they’re there, Faegan collects a drop of Shailiha’s blood, which is close enough to Tristan’s to work because they’re twins, and hands over the vial of oil to Abbey. She pours it on the ground, uses flint and steel to light it on fire and creates a small flame (azure, of course!) that she’s apparently able to make grow with her powers (I’m not sure that’s consistent with what partial adepts are supposed to be able to do, but I guess when the fire is fueled by an herb or oil it works? *she shrugs*). Once she gets it about two meters wide and five meters tall – yes, I can see why they didn’t want the baby around while they were doing this! – she makes it split into separate branches and then takes the blood from Faegan. Using it as a focus, she’s able to make a sort of window appear in the flame, and Shailiha and Faegan crowd around trying to see. For a moment they get a blurry image of Tristan sitting in a chair surrounded by people - which I guess is confirmation that this is all happening at the same time as the scene in the bar on Sanctuary? – but suddenly Abbey gets an expression that makes Shailiha realize something has gone wrong. Abbey focuses on the fire, seeming to desperately try to bring it back under control, but whatever she’s doing doesn’t seem to work, since she whirls and shoves Shailiha and Faegan away just before amidst a great thunderclap of heat and fire, Abbey’s gazing flame exploded. And on that cliffhanger, the chapter comes to an end.
MG: And so it does! As does our sporking for the day. And honestly, my biggest takeaway from these chapters is that all three of them are almost all setup with no real payoff. This is a hazard of how this book in particular is structured, with lots of short chapters and jumping between POVs; we barely get a chance for something to start in one place before we’re off somewhere else with other things happening to different people. Today isn’t the only example of it in the book so far, but with three short chapters ending in three cliffhangers, it is particularly egregious and leaves it feeling like the actual story has barely advanced at all because as soon as we’ve established one scene, we’re off somewhere else. The most substantial is the initial chapter on Sanctuary, where the biggest takeaways are how stereotypically grimy and disreputable the tavern is, how bad (but inexplicably successful) Tristan’s attempt and manipulating Ichabod is, and how our badass pirate captain Tyranny has been turned into a damsel for Tristan to have to rescue because she is, after all, a girl. *growls angrily* Other than that, at least we finally got the absolutely riveting “separate the herbs and oils” plotline resolved? In any case, that’s it for today; next time, we’ll have some more short chapters, with at least the redeeming quality that we’ll get to check in with some of the more tolerable characters of this mess. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 172
Contrivances and Coincidences: 45
Dastardly Deeds: 119
Exposition Intrusion: 196
Gender Wars: 52
Gratuitous Grimdark: 45
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 73
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 69
Retcons and Revelations: 25
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Scrolls of the Ancients! Last time we wrapped up Part III as Wigg survived his trial because of the “inherent goodness” of his endowed blood (blargh), Krassus rather anticlimactically found the spells he needs to mold Wulfgar to his will, and Tristan and Tyranny put in at the Stereotypical Pirate Port™ for repairs. Today, we begin Part IV: Rebirth as Tristan meets the sailmaker, Krassus goes to work, and Wigg and Faegan return to Tammerland. Joining us today will be Tahiri and Ash!
Tahiri: Yaaay, back here again, just what I always wanted… and since this is the beginning of a Part, we start off with a quote, this time from the Scroll of the Vigors itself: In a sense, time has no place in the practice of the craft. For to those who shall grant themselves the time enchantments, sometimes a year shall seem as a day and a day as a mere moment. And the Forestallments granted into their blood shall give rise to great gifts, some wondrous, and some terrible in their applications. *shrugs* And I have no idea what that last part has to do with time; seems like the Scroll just veered off onto a completely different topic there. And I can assure you, just because you’re so long-lived you don’t notice the passing of time, that doesn’t mean things don’t happen in that time.
Blood Matters: 160
Chapter Forty-Two
Tahiri: And so, we open as Tristan makes his way into the Wing and Claw at Sanctuary, and it’s… about what you’d expect:
The room before him was very large and very dark, lit only by several dim, oil lamp chandeliers. Tables filled the room, and a long bar sat before the wall to his right. In one corner a stairway could be seen leading to the second floor—to the bedrooms, he assumed. Men and women were cavorting loudly. Some, already in varying stages of undress, were locked in passionate embraces. Others were busy drinking and playing at dice or cards, the losers shouting out obscenities or invectives at the Afterlife. One man sat on a chair in the corner, a pipe held between his teeth as he happily ground out ditties from an ancient-looking squeezebox. The entire place smelled of sex and stale liquor.
Tahiri: …so, it sounds to me like it’s basically the Mos Eisley Cantina, except with more sex and only humans. Fuuun. And so, Tristan heads up to the bar as nobody seems to notice him and approaches the one-eyed barkeep… a thin, greasy-looking creature who walked with a decisive limp. And apparently the lid over his missing eye is sewn shut, too. And don’t think I didn’t notice the fact that this man’s disabilities seem to be what make him look untrustworthy, either. *rubs the scars on her own forehead idly* Where were we? Oh, we’re not helped by the fact that Tristan literally has to fight down his revulsion at the barkeep’s appearance to order his ale. Sleemo (that being Tristan, not the barkeep). And it turns out the barkeep doesn’t even have ale, since they only sell mead on this island. Not that I spend a lot of time in sleezy cantinas, but I’d think your customers might like some variety? I mean, you’re pirates – are exotic goods really that hard to come by for you? So Tristan has to order mead – the cheap stuff, not the good stuff – though he immediately chokes from revulsion on it when he tastes it. To be fair, he did order the cheap stuff, and the barkeep laughs at his misfortune, telling him it takes some getting used to.
Gratuitous Grimdark: 43 (on reflection, I think how gross everything is merits a point)
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 67 (…as does Tristan’s ableism and elitism)
Ash: Well, Tristan turns around and nearly walks into a blonde woman of about his own age, wearing a tattered dress. She, of course, claims Tristan must be new around here since she’s never slept with him before *sighs audibly* and immediately grabs for his groin – please, have some self-respect, make him cough up the money first. She also jokes about how the “cheap” mead comes from the “community keg,” which apparently is filled with all the leftovers from half-drunk tankards nobody gets around to finishing. *she shudders* That’s… lovely. And the barkeep indeed confirms that’s what it is. And apparently this is by Rolf’s orders, since he doesn’t want to waste anything. Uh… ew? And, goddess help me, is there a reason we’re spending so much time on this? Tristan, clearly and understandably desperate to change the subject, says he’s looking for a man, which disappoints the woman who says that’s a waste (normally I might say that maybe the men wouldn’t agree… but considering what a lousy romantic partner Tristan has shown himself to be, celibacy in general would probably be the best option for him!). Tristan corrects this “humorous” misunderstanding and says he’s not looking for a man for that, and says he’s here for Ichabod the sailmaker. The woman – who is apparently a prostitute, so she really should have wanted Tristan to pay! – points him out; he’s apparently in his usual spot, playing cards, and has a handlebar mustache and expensive black clothes, because this book has no subtlety whatsoever.
Gender Wars: 50
Gratuitous Grimdark: 44
Tahiri: Oh, and of course before Tristan heads over to talk to Ichabod the woman says that if he changes his mind, she’ll be waiting. Because of course even jaded tavern prostitutes simply must be swooning over our manly hero *fans herself mockingly* Tristan takes a seat near Ichabod to watch him for a while; he notices he’s playing against three other men at the moment and seems to be winning.
He was tall, and dressed in black breeches, jacket, ruffled white shirt, and vest. Rings adorned nearly every finger. Shiny black knee boots were on his feet, and he sported and equally dark mustache that he worried almost constantly by twisting its curled, waxed ends. Unlike the other men at the table, Ichabod looked very prosperous. He also seemed to be unarmed, but the prince knew that in a place like this, that meant nothing.
Tahiri: He also thinks that Ichabod reminds him of an undertaker he once knew (how many undertakers does a crown prince meet, anyway? Maybe I should ask Tenel Ka, next time I see her…), though to me, he seems more like a Hutt’s functionary from a cheap holodrama. Tristan watches Ichabod play for a while, decides he’s a little too good, and works out what his secret must be. *rolls her eyes* This is just going to be a less interesting version of that story Captain Solo likes to tell about how he won the Millennium Falcon from Lando Calrissian, isn’t it? Well, not quite, as Tristan walks up behind Ichabod, waits for his turn, and then literally grabs one of his cards out of his hand and plays it for him, declaring dreng. Ichabod, as you might imagine, is not happy and demands to know just who he is; Tristan claims he just made Ichabod fifty kisa, but… all he did was play what Ichabod already had in his hand. Wasn’t he going to win anyway? All he wants in return is a moment of Ichabod’s time. I think he’s going to be lucky if he gets out of here without being stabbed – hadn’t he already decided Ichabod was a dangerous man?
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 70
Ash: And I’m still not sure how or why he accomplished anything other than putting into the game and pissing Ichabod off… and indeed Ichabod demands to know who Tristan is and what he really wants, and if he doesn’t answer, he’ll have his “friends” cut you from groin to gizzard with a dull deer antler and feed what’s left to the sharks. Oh, yes – clearly, Tristan has made a friend! Tristan takes a seat, noting Ichabod’s tablemates’ weapons and how they’re clearly angry at him for costing him money (but, like Tahiri said, I don’t think he actually changed the outcome at all, unless Ichabod wasn’t planning on playing his winning hand…). So Tristan explains he’s a prospective customer, he needs fast work, he’s willing to pay extra for it, and he wants to talk to Ichabod about it somewhere private. And indeed, Ichabod is interested and invites Tristan over to another, more out-of-the-way table, which makes me wonder again why all that was necessary. He asks if Tristan has a list of what he needs, and when he explains the damage asks how it happened – Tristan explains about the screechlings, and that he needs the sails done by tomorrow. Ichabod in turn says that will be a very difficult job and will cost extra, one thousand kisa. Tristan offers three hundred, Ichabod counters with five, Tristan offers four, and when Ichabod won’t bite and tries to leave, Tristan literally threatens him if he does, saying he may lose his life if he doesn’t take the job. Our hero, everyone! And honestly, Ichabod sounds like a scoundrel, but Tristan’s negotiating tactics are just sad. Maybe if you hadn’t antagonized this man to begin with, he might be more willing to work with you! Anyway, Tristan doesn’t plan to kill Ichabod himself, but he does know how he cheats at cards and will show everyone in the tavern if Ichabod won’t do the job, and they’ll probably tear him apart – with Rolf’s help, if Ichabod hasn’t been giving him a cut.
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 72
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 68
Tahiri: Ichabod claims that nobody will believe Tristan over him; Tristan points out that Ichabod’s cards are edged with the same wax he uses on his mustache, which… I guess is a sign of how he cheats? *she shrugs* I don’t even play much sabacc, much less… dreng… so beats me how that proves anything, but Ichabod is so cowed by the idea that he immediately drops back down to his seat and decides four hundred kisa would be just fine. Tristan promises to pay but reminds him not to cross him, and gives him directions on where to find People’s Revenge. And if Ichabod doesn’t keep his part of the bargain, Tristan promises to find him and gut him with one of his knives, from groin to gizzard. I thought the threat was to expose his cheating and let his “friends” handle him… oh, never mind. But Ichabod agrees, and he and Tristan spit into their palms and shake on it the way Tyranny showed him – and that’s when the door to the tavern opens and Scars comes in! What a twist! But then Tristan notices that Scars’s hands are bound and he has two pirates guarding him. The pirates force scars into the building and Tristan sees another silhouette through the door, though with the light shining behind it he can’t make out much detail other than that it has too many limbs to be a single person (how very… dramatic!). But then part of the silhouette gets hurled headlong into the tavern and crashes into a table, where it turns out to be Tyranny, who lies there in a daze. A moment later a man stalks in and grabs her by her hair, declaring he’s looking for the man who came here with this. Oh, I wonder who this could be… and of course, he’s treating Tyranny like a thing rather than a person, because this book has no subtlety at all. And Newcomb’s somehow making Tyranny’s plight all about Tristan, too, as the man – Rolf, I presume – demands to know who the other rooster in my henhouse is, and if he doesn’t reveal himself, he’ll slit Tyranny’s throat. And so, endowed blood rising hotly – stop it – Tristan clutches the hilt of one of his knives… and the chapter ends there. Great.
Blood Matters: 161
Dastardly Deeds: 117
Gender Wars: 52 (one point for Rolf’s own sexism, one point for Tyranny getting damselled)
Gratuitous Grimdark: 45
Chapter Forty-Three
Ash: And so, we open this chapter with Krassus asking Wulfgar if he’s comfortable. As it happens, Wulfgar is tied to a table in the scriptorium, bound hand and foot and wearing nothing but a pair of emerald-green silk trousers, so… I guess it depends on whether he’s into that sort of thing? And whether he’s here of his own volition, so… probably not, all told. But as he stares up at Krassus – who we’re reminded yet again has white hair and a two-toned robe, as if we didn’t know that already – his heart beats wildly while he’s drenched in a cold sweat from fear. The Scroll of the Vagaries is also unfurled and hovering nearby. Wulfgar demands to know what Krassus is going to do to him, and Krassus says it’s what he promised to do when they spoke in Wulfgar’s quarters. I shall introduce you to something wonderful – something that will change your life forever. In the end you will thank me. And before we are finished, you will find yourself begging for more. *visibly uncomfortable* If that’s supposed to make this sound less sexual… Wulfgar promises to escape, find his siblings, and return to kill Krassus and his slavers – good man! If you should happen to find yourself near Waterdeep, do look up the Promenade temple. Eilistraee is a goddess of freedom, and she does not look kindly on slavers – and if I’m in residence when you’re there, you’ll have my sword! Alas, Krassus is unperturbed, saying he has no doubt Wulfgar will fight him because that’s the nature of his blood (stop. It.) and so will Serena. But Krassus is only carrying out Nicholas’s bidding, and once he’s done with Wulfgar, Wulfgar will want to command the demonslavers willingly. Oh, goddess help me, Newcomb’s going to go through with it, isn’t he… Krassus muses to himself he should start with one of the weaker Forestallments to give Wulfgar’s blood time to adjust as he works his way up to the stronger ones. When I finally deem you ready, I will gift you with the one Forestallment that will change the world forever – the one my loyal consuls worked so hard to uncover in the scroll. *her eyes cold and hard* And when I deem the time right, I will come to liberate this wretched island and free all the slaves, including Wulfgar and Serena, from your power, by blade and holy fire. In Eilistraee’s name!
Blood Matters: 164
Exposition Intrusion: 188
Tahiri: Hear, hear! I mean, I don’t know anything about Eilistraee, but she sounds all right, to hear you talk about her. And I’ll be right with you; as the Jedi of old said, for Light and Life! Krassus begins the casting, but is interrupted by another coughing fit, and he realizes they’re getting worse (great job, Nicholas!). And Wulfgar points out that at this rate Krassus might die before he can turn him and asks if Nicholas considered that. Ugh – why does the book point out its own plot holes, now? Krassus just says he’ll live long enough to see things through and gets back to work. First he makes a small incision and collects some of Wulfgar’s blood in a vial, then commits the incantation from the scroll to memory (is this the most we’ve ever gotten on how a spell is actually cast on this warped planet? I think it might be, actually!) and places a hand on Wulfgar’s forehead. And, of course, Wulfgar starts screaming, his body jerking around in agony as it arched with exquisite pain – oh, is our narrator one of the Yuuzhan Vong, now? And probably one of the Shai domain at that, the masochistic freaks. Krassus fears Wulfgar will injure himself, but keeps going; when he’s done, Wulfgar has passed out from the pain, but Krassus tests another drop of his blood against the original sample and confirms that not only has the Forestallment taken, but Wulfgar’s blood signature now leans even further left. *she groans and buries her face in her hands* I… I should be horrified by this, especially considering my own past. But it’s just so… stupid. At least in my galaxy, the dark side of the Force is something you have to choose to embrace; when Mezhan Kwaad tried to remake me into a Yuuzhan Vong, she basically had to take my whole personality apart and rebuild it from the ground up, and it still didn’t work out the way she wanted it to. This… this is just sad, like Krassus thinks that by editing Wulfgar’s “blood signature” he can rewrite his whole personality. It doesn’t work that way! Well, in a sane world, it wouldn’t. With Newcomb writing… it probably will, Force help us all…
Blood Matters: 168
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 73
Ash: And of course, need it be said, morality is about a person’s deeds, not the direction their blood “leans.” You might as well say a person’s fingerprint determines their moral character… goddess, Newcomb might just believe that… Well, Krassus is pleased that what Nicholas explained to him as theory actually works in practice, and as he takes a moment to think about it, some realizations come to him. First, that Failee must have possessed at least one of the Scrolls and that’s where she got the ability to weave Forestallments from, since even she couldn’t have reinvented that branch of magic entirely on her own. So, am I to take it to mean that Failee really did know how to alter a person’s blood signature to change their moral alignment *growls angrily* and she still put Shailiha through that stupid, overly-complex brainwashing technique? Really? Why would she ever think that was a good idea?
MG: Probably because Newcomb hadn’t come up with the idea of blood signatures working like this when he wrote the first book tbh.
Ash: …you’re probably right. *sighs heavily* Well, Krassus thinks that the Coven didn’t have the Scrolls when they were exiled, so either Failee found them in Parthalon or she had them in Eutracia before they were banished and hid them there and had Succiu retrieve them during the invasion. But that doesn’t explain where Nicholas got them, or where Failee found them originally. And in any case, Krassus thinks that all the Forestallments Tristan, Shailiha and Celeste have must be Vagaries-aligned, since either Failee only had the Scroll of the Vagaries, or she had both but would never have used the Scrolls of the Vigors. Which… I think would be pretty obvious? And of course none of them were turned to the Vagaries by their Forestallments like poor Wulfgar is being set up for, because they’re special *hisses angrily*. But Krassus decides the answers to all this don’t matter, since he just has to finish Nicholas’s mission before he dies. So he turns back to the Scroll, selects another incantation, and starts the process again. Wulfgar’s eyes snapped open. His screaming went on long into the night. And on that absolutely horrifying note, the chapter ends.
Blood Matters: 172
Dastardly Deeds: 119
Exposition Intrusion: 192
Retcons and Revelations: 25
Chapter Forty-Four
Tahiri: And so, our final chapter for the day opens with Faegan removing his hand from Wigg’s forehead, assuring everyone that though he went through an ordeal, he’ll survive and make a full recovery. Boo! We learn that Faegan, Shailiha, Celeste, and Abbey are all standing around Wigg’s bed, and even Baby Morganna is there for some reason, in a new infant’s carriage made for her by Shannon the Short (Newcomb, why?). Now I’m just wondering whether they stuck Morganna in Wigg’s room, or Wigg in Morganna’s room. Either way, that poor kid! Wigg himself is still sleeping; Celeste reaches out to touch his forehead herself and finds his skin cool, and her eyes are “shiny,” which I guess means she’s on the verge of tears. We then learn that the Minions arrived back with the two wizards not long ago, and everyone was just so upset when Wigg came back in stricken condition. Serves him about right, if you ask me. Faegan then explained to everyone what happened, and Shailiha asks when they can use the new herbs they got, since she’s anxious for Abbey to try scrying for Tristan again. Also, apparently the Minion armada left Parthalon a few days ago, under the joint command of Geldon and Traax, and I really wish we could be reading about them instead. We also take far too much time explaining how Shailiha and Celeste got all of Faegan’s herbs transported from Shadowood to the palace while the wizards were gone (something they… showed no signs of doing on the times we checked in on them, yay!).
Exposition Intrusion: 194
Ash: After thinking it over, Faegan asks Abbey if she can make a gazing flame using just oils without herbs; apparently she can, but it won’t be as effective, since herbs work better for that sort of thing. I’ll… take her word for it. However, Faegan actually does have a solution of oils that will work, down in the Redoubt. And, as it happens, the oil the watchwoman gave Faegan to separate and sort the other oils will work right away. Convenient, that. And so, everyone, except for Celeste who is staying with Wigg (and Morganna, for safety reasons), gets ready to head down to the Redoubt to try this out. So Faegan bids farewell to Wigg, Shailiha kisses her daughter goodbye (and gets her hair tugged for her troubles) and they all head off, the heels of the women’s shoes ringing out crisply against the shiny marble floor. So… do the women just wear high heels all the time walking around the palace, then? Does Newcomb think all women just automatically wear high heels? *she shakes her head* Probably. But they all make it down to the laboratory; it reminded Shailiha of a teaching chamber, complete with text-and-scroll-filled bookcases, a long table near the far wall, and rows of dusty mahogany, desk-topped chairs. So… about what you might expect. Shailiha allows herself to think fondly of how busy this room might have been in happier times (ignoring, of course, that it was Wigg’s poor decision making that led to Tammerland getting sacked and all the consuls killed or corrupted). Faegan then rolls over to the vat of oils as he uses his Consummate Recollection to remember the watchwoman’s instructions precisely and argh, by the goddess, stop it! This isn’t even exceptional memory, it’s just… normal remembering. He’s not special, stop trying to act like he is!
Contrivances and Coincidences: 43
Exposition Intrusion: 196
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 69
Tahiri: Hear, hear. Well, Faegan realizes they’ll need lots of glass containers, so he manages to collect several hundred(!) beakers and such from around the Redoubt and sets them all up in the laboratory. He then telekinetically summons the vat of oils over and opens it and then prepares to mix the oil the watchwoman gave him into it, though he’s not sure what will happen next. *beat* Is something going to blow up? Because that might be a little funny, at least. He telekinetically opens the vial from the gardens and pours it in, and after a few moments the whole vat starts glowing azure and its contents start revolving around. And then, uh, this happens:
There came a great howling noise, and the contents of the vat rose into the air in a whirling, multicolored maelstrom of oil. On and on it came, until all of it had cleared the vat. Free of its container, it spun faster yet. Then centrifugal force began forcing the oil to fly outward, gradually separating into individual pools that hovered just above the lips of the glassware.
Finally the howling stopped, and the oil pools poured themselves into the various containers all at once. Then things went silent, the oils settling into their containers and finally growing still.
Tahiri: Except even that isn’t the end, as the oil vat starts shaking again and then starts vomiting out actual labels in Old Eutracian that affix themselves to the sides of the beakers. *stunned* Okay, one, that’s convenient, and two, what was in that oil the watchwoman gave Faegan? This seems like kind of a lot of very specific work for one oil to do, no matter how magical it is! But even Faegan is left awestruck by all of this (to be fair, it sounds like it was pretty spectacular, even if it didn’t make much sense), especially once he starts checking all the labels. It even makes him so happy he starts cackling (why am I picturing Faegan as one of those old historical holos of Emperor Palpatine now?) and spinning around on his chair in midair. He starts laughing about how this is unprecedented and how it would’ve taken a lifetime to do it by hand and I’ve got to say, the novelty is really starting to wear off. Indeed, Faegan actually needs Shailiha to remind him that the actual reason they did this is so Abbey can find the oil she needs to scry for Tristan. Oh, yeah – great guy, that Faegan!
Contrivances and Coincidences: 45 (I know it’s magic, but the effects of that “oil” were… remarkably specific)
Ash: Well, he is the man who apparently decided trying to rescue his kidnapped daughter from the evil cult that took her would be too inconvenient, so… he doesn’t exactly have a wonderful track record with his priorities. Or basic decency. Anyway, Wigg finds the oil he’s looking for, sniffs it to make sure the labeling was right (of course it was…) and then everyone heads back up to the courtyard to do the scrying. Once they’re there, Faegan collects a drop of Shailiha’s blood, which is close enough to Tristan’s to work because they’re twins, and hands over the vial of oil to Abbey. She pours it on the ground, uses flint and steel to light it on fire and creates a small flame (azure, of course!) that she’s apparently able to make grow with her powers (I’m not sure that’s consistent with what partial adepts are supposed to be able to do, but I guess when the fire is fueled by an herb or oil it works? *she shrugs*). Once she gets it about two meters wide and five meters tall – yes, I can see why they didn’t want the baby around while they were doing this! – she makes it split into separate branches and then takes the blood from Faegan. Using it as a focus, she’s able to make a sort of window appear in the flame, and Shailiha and Faegan crowd around trying to see. For a moment they get a blurry image of Tristan sitting in a chair surrounded by people - which I guess is confirmation that this is all happening at the same time as the scene in the bar on Sanctuary? – but suddenly Abbey gets an expression that makes Shailiha realize something has gone wrong. Abbey focuses on the fire, seeming to desperately try to bring it back under control, but whatever she’s doing doesn’t seem to work, since she whirls and shoves Shailiha and Faegan away just before amidst a great thunderclap of heat and fire, Abbey’s gazing flame exploded. And on that cliffhanger, the chapter comes to an end.
MG: And so it does! As does our sporking for the day. And honestly, my biggest takeaway from these chapters is that all three of them are almost all setup with no real payoff. This is a hazard of how this book in particular is structured, with lots of short chapters and jumping between POVs; we barely get a chance for something to start in one place before we’re off somewhere else with other things happening to different people. Today isn’t the only example of it in the book so far, but with three short chapters ending in three cliffhangers, it is particularly egregious and leaves it feeling like the actual story has barely advanced at all because as soon as we’ve established one scene, we’re off somewhere else. The most substantial is the initial chapter on Sanctuary, where the biggest takeaways are how stereotypically grimy and disreputable the tavern is, how bad (but inexplicably successful) Tristan’s attempt and manipulating Ichabod is, and how our badass pirate captain Tyranny has been turned into a damsel for Tristan to have to rescue because she is, after all, a girl. *growls angrily* Other than that, at least we finally got the absolutely riveting “separate the herbs and oils” plotline resolved? In any case, that’s it for today; next time, we’ll have some more short chapters, with at least the redeeming quality that we’ll get to check in with some of the more tolerable characters of this mess. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 172
Contrivances and Coincidences: 45
Dastardly Deeds: 119
Exposition Intrusion: 196
Gender Wars: 52
Gratuitous Grimdark: 45
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 73
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 69
Retcons and Revelations: 25
no subject
It must be a day that ends in Y.
I'm sorry, WHAT? Is the Afterlife some kind of god?
You mean the stuff made out of honey, which was historically so expensive it was generally considered rich people food? Riiiiight. Also the description of this place is so cliched it's virtually a repeat of the one from Morontagh
WTF is a guy this obviously rich doing in a scumhole like this??
Gods help us, this was obviously supposed to make Triscuit look "clever". 🙄
Poor damn guy. This is the only time I've given a damn about any of the characters in this fucking thing. :(
Retcons: Making your characters look like idiots since gods know when.
Finally, torture that's actually effective. For all the wrong reasons, and poor Wulfgar is just going to turn into a stupid villain anyway. We don't want to see an innocent victim get tortured and then just turn evil and die! We want them to be rescued! We want them to get a happy ending, not THIS!
Dammit, there goes our last hope.
CRY MOAR
This isn't a modern day science lab, you jackass.
"And now, young Skywalker... you will die!"
MORE explosions? Who wrote this - Michael Bay?
See? See? There are female heroes who actually do stuff in this book! It's not ragingly misogynistic at all!
...never mind.
I, uh, can't wait.
no subject
I've been including a variation of that warning on a majority of posts for this book in particular, haven't I? Still, considering this series is full of potentially triggering subjects handled very poorly, I prefer to be on the safe side here and try to warn where possible!
I'm sorry, WHAT? Is the Afterlife some kind of god?
I mean, people have been praying to it like it's something that can actually hear and respond to them for this whole trilogy... seriously, the shallowness of these people's religious beliefs is just one of many glaring holes in the worldbuilding, but it's one that bugs me personally quite a lot.
You mean the stuff made out of honey, which was historically so expensive it was generally considered rich people food? Riiiiight. Also the description of this place is so cliched it's virtually a repeat of the one from Morontagh
To be fair, they make it from honey they collect on the island; I skimmed over that part.
WTF is a guy this obviously rich doing in a scumhole like this??
Gambling, clearly;). Though it does make me think (again) that Newcomb just jams the cliches together without thinking through if they actually fit or not. So we have obviously stereotypical upper class bad guy hanging out in obviously stereotypical dive bar full of pirates.
Gods help us, this was obviously supposed to make Triscuit look "clever". 🙄
And admittedly I don't play these sorts of card games IRL so my expertise here is limited, but whatever is actually going on here and is supposed to be clever is not conveyed well, at all.
Poor damn guy. This is the only time I've given a damn about any of the characters in this fucking thing. :(
And he's about to be turned into the bad guy, after which he'll be treated as if he'd embraced evil by his own choice and is someone our heroes can fight with zero guilt! Seriously, Wulfgar draws one of the shortest straws in this thing, and it's frankly disturbing.
Finally, torture that's actually effective. For all the wrong reasons, and poor Wulfgar is just going to turn into a stupid villain anyway. We don't want to see an innocent victim get tortured and then just turn evil and die! We want them to be rescued! We want them to get a happy ending, not THIS!
Indeed!
"And now, young Skywalker... you will die!"
Good... goood...
Anyway, watch this commm tomorrow, since I have a side project coming up and this makes me think of it!
See? See? There are female heroes who actually do stuff in this book! It's not ragingly misogynistic at all!
I feel like Newcomb is trying to course-correct on the misogyny... emphasis on trying. He is not succeeding.
I, uh, can't wait.
At least I'd rather spend time with Marcus, Becca and Geldon than almost anyone else in this mess of a trilogy?
no subject
Oh yeah, you're doing the right thing. I was referring to it being so depressingly necessary, sigh.
And rightly so; given how massively important religion and spirituality is in every human culture, skipping over it like this is one of the worst worldbuilding mistakes you can make.
Yeah, in reality a rich guy would be gambling with his rich buddies, not flaunting his wealth in the middle of a den of professional thugs and robbers; he's BEGGING to get mugged or kidnapped for ransom. Like what does Newcomb think pirates even do?
FFS! Ihis is just Murtagh all over again.
"I've been forced to serve the bad guy."
"OMG HOW COULD YOU YOU'RE EVIL JUST LIKE YOUR EVIL FATHER LET ME KILL YOU."
What is with these bad authors and victim-blaming? It's disgusting.
"Let the hate flow through you..."
Indeed; his attempts at being not-sexist are just making him look even worse.
Poor Geldon gets such a raw deal. I'm not looking forward to him being randomly and callously killed off. Let me guess; the kids randomly die at some point too?