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antishurtugal_reborn2020-07-10 09:23 am
cmdrnemo) wrote in antishurtugal_reborn2020-07-10 09:23 am
How was that only the first chapter?
TSIASOS is the literary Double Down. It is therefore the perfect first book in something called a fractal verse. This mess is a fractal of crap. The smallest details are crap as you zoom out the larger structures are even more crap. It suffers from poor word choices and grammar and the driving philosophy can be summed up as: some people are better than you and you should sacrifice everything, even die, if it would make their lives any easier. This philosophy is fairly apparent in the way that chapter 1 treats all the characters as either Kira or not Kira and any not Kira is at most a red shirt.
At any rate. Entertainment this horrible is not meant to be experienced alone. Which means you lot are going through this with me. It’s time for chapter 2. Deal with it. That said, obviously I can’t handle this book on its own. The power of Netflix enables this.
It starts with the blandest and least useful of all possible descriptions of an island. That’s right we get a map reference number for a map we don’t have, half a coordinate, the name of a nearby continent, and we are told it’s in the South. Which is redundant with the only information we get from the coordinate. We do get to know that the island is mostly rocky. As opposed to… jello? Whatever. I need to get past the first paragraph.
The next few pages appear to be content free.
Kira doesn’t like flying, doesn’t like living in a tiny house, doesn’t like her job. Why is she doing this? It’s already been established that she is a xenobiologist who exclusively works on lifeless rocks. I have decided that I do not like her.
She’s really boring. Like, this person is less fun than watching someone else run a sandblaster levels of boring.
Alan, who might as well be named Deadmeat for the levels of foreshadowing going on here, deserves her.
It seems this setting has replaced texting with some form of implant that transmits subvocalizations formatted as incomplete HTML that pins the name awkwardly to the end of any given transmission. This is perfect. In that, it is absolute crap. She gets semi-involuntary pop ups directly into her eyes. Which means that every text is a: in its own chat window like texts are, b: still has the person’s name attached to the end of it. I need a picture from Wheel of Fish for this one.
No image attached. Just use your imagination. Anything related to advanced stupid or you get nothing stupid will do the trick.
Now we get a description of Neghar. Some like 10 pages of random trivial irrelevant crap about Kira first. Then something about the one other person in this hemisphere. Because Kira is that much more important than any other person. Neghar has a personality which makes her a million times more interesting than Kira already.
It turns out the self piloting sub orbital shuttle has manual doors. I get that science missions tend to be under funded. But, they had to go with the base model? They couldn’t spring for electric doors? My car has more advanced tech than the airlock of his super advanced space shuttle. That’s kind of sad.
This is a moon with a thin poisonous atmosphere, deadly sea water, dangerous amounts of UV light, and this is a prime target for colonization? If he’s going for hard science here, why not try that anywhere else in the story? It’s like the rest of the story is about as hard as microwaved butter and this is suddenly a big wad of packing foam. Not in the way though, that would make a certain amount of sense. Having a big chunk of semi-believable obstacle in the path. But, no. This island of packing foam is off in the distance. So the protagonist can look at it through binoculars while she continues to sail a ship made of popcorn. Because everything in this book is just the worst.
For anyone curious experts generally believe Venus is the best first target for colonization in the solar system. The surface is not friendly but at altitude a person could survive in ordinary scuba gear. Mars is not so welcoming. Flying “cities” on Venus are a very real possibility. Depending on engineering, science, and financial considerations that are still unclear. I am rapidly coming to agree with all the ‘screw planets that’s the needlessly difficult way’ people. It seems like much less work and much less environmental damage to just make artificial habitat structures than to colonize worlds. Some of the O’Neal cylinder designs out there are just amazing and with thousands of Earths worth of real estate I just can’t see the appeal of wasting energy to live on some random chunk of rock.
She finds some rocks. Which are apparently vastly more interesting than alien bacteria. To a biologist.
Press X to doubt.
Insert the alien hardware scene. Alien hardware shows up, it acts like idiots expect nanites would in hentai.
Kira does not act like a scientist. She barely acts like a person. She walks when a scientist would run, runs when they would crawl, and generally asks the wrong questions. Does he really think someone would devote a lifetimes effort to get a low paying job with difficult working conditions because they don't want to do it?
It’s very much like how Eragon approached new things. There’s this implicit sense that the author already knows these things so the character has no need to be curious. Just dance along with the string little puppet. It will all work out in the end.
I know why I keep coming back this. Like Plan 9 From Outer Space it is doomed to be a special breed of classic.
At any rate. Entertainment this horrible is not meant to be experienced alone. Which means you lot are going through this with me. It’s time for chapter 2. Deal with it. That said, obviously I can’t handle this book on its own. The power of Netflix enables this.
It starts with the blandest and least useful of all possible descriptions of an island. That’s right we get a map reference number for a map we don’t have, half a coordinate, the name of a nearby continent, and we are told it’s in the South. Which is redundant with the only information we get from the coordinate. We do get to know that the island is mostly rocky. As opposed to… jello? Whatever. I need to get past the first paragraph.
The next few pages appear to be content free.
Kira doesn’t like flying, doesn’t like living in a tiny house, doesn’t like her job. Why is she doing this? It’s already been established that she is a xenobiologist who exclusively works on lifeless rocks. I have decided that I do not like her.
She’s really boring. Like, this person is less fun than watching someone else run a sandblaster levels of boring.
Alan, who might as well be named Deadmeat for the levels of foreshadowing going on here, deserves her.
It seems this setting has replaced texting with some form of implant that transmits subvocalizations formatted as incomplete HTML that pins the name awkwardly to the end of any given transmission. This is perfect. In that, it is absolute crap. She gets semi-involuntary pop ups directly into her eyes. Which means that every text is a: in its own chat window like texts are, b: still has the person’s name attached to the end of it. I need a picture from Wheel of Fish for this one.
No image attached. Just use your imagination. Anything related to advanced stupid or you get nothing stupid will do the trick.
Now we get a description of Neghar. Some like 10 pages of random trivial irrelevant crap about Kira first. Then something about the one other person in this hemisphere. Because Kira is that much more important than any other person. Neghar has a personality which makes her a million times more interesting than Kira already.
It turns out the self piloting sub orbital shuttle has manual doors. I get that science missions tend to be under funded. But, they had to go with the base model? They couldn’t spring for electric doors? My car has more advanced tech than the airlock of his super advanced space shuttle. That’s kind of sad.
This is a moon with a thin poisonous atmosphere, deadly sea water, dangerous amounts of UV light, and this is a prime target for colonization? If he’s going for hard science here, why not try that anywhere else in the story? It’s like the rest of the story is about as hard as microwaved butter and this is suddenly a big wad of packing foam. Not in the way though, that would make a certain amount of sense. Having a big chunk of semi-believable obstacle in the path. But, no. This island of packing foam is off in the distance. So the protagonist can look at it through binoculars while she continues to sail a ship made of popcorn. Because everything in this book is just the worst.
For anyone curious experts generally believe Venus is the best first target for colonization in the solar system. The surface is not friendly but at altitude a person could survive in ordinary scuba gear. Mars is not so welcoming. Flying “cities” on Venus are a very real possibility. Depending on engineering, science, and financial considerations that are still unclear. I am rapidly coming to agree with all the ‘screw planets that’s the needlessly difficult way’ people. It seems like much less work and much less environmental damage to just make artificial habitat structures than to colonize worlds. Some of the O’Neal cylinder designs out there are just amazing and with thousands of Earths worth of real estate I just can’t see the appeal of wasting energy to live on some random chunk of rock.
She finds some rocks. Which are apparently vastly more interesting than alien bacteria. To a biologist.
Press X to doubt.
Insert the alien hardware scene. Alien hardware shows up, it acts like idiots expect nanites would in hentai.
Kira does not act like a scientist. She barely acts like a person. She walks when a scientist would run, runs when they would crawl, and generally asks the wrong questions. Does he really think someone would devote a lifetimes effort to get a low paying job with difficult working conditions because they don't want to do it?
It’s very much like how Eragon approached new things. There’s this implicit sense that the author already knows these things so the character has no need to be curious. Just dance along with the string little puppet. It will all work out in the end.
I know why I keep coming back this. Like Plan 9 From Outer Space it is doomed to be a special breed of classic.
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(Anonymous) 2020-07-11 12:17 pm (UTC)(link)-anontu
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(Anonymous) 2020-07-12 01:15 am (UTC)(link)- anontu.
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