How was that only the first chapter?
Jul. 10th, 2020 09:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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antishurtugal_rebornTSIASOS is the literary Double Down. It is therefore the perfect first book in something called a fractal verse. This mess is a fractal of crap. The smallest details are crap as you zoom out the larger structures are even more crap. It suffers from poor word choices and grammar and the driving philosophy can be summed up as: some people are better than you and you should sacrifice everything, even die, if it would make their lives any easier. This philosophy is fairly apparent in the way that chapter 1 treats all the characters as either Kira or not Kira and any not Kira is at most a red shirt.
At any rate. Entertainment this horrible is not meant to be experienced alone. Which means you lot are going through this with me. It’s time for chapter 2. Deal with it. That said, obviously I can’t handle this book on its own. The power of Netflix enables this.
It starts with the blandest and least useful of all possible descriptions of an island. That’s right we get a map reference number for a map we don’t have, half a coordinate, the name of a nearby continent, and we are told it’s in the South. Which is redundant with the only information we get from the coordinate. We do get to know that the island is mostly rocky. As opposed to… jello? Whatever. I need to get past the first paragraph.
The next few pages appear to be content free.
Kira doesn’t like flying, doesn’t like living in a tiny house, doesn’t like her job. Why is she doing this? It’s already been established that she is a xenobiologist who exclusively works on lifeless rocks. I have decided that I do not like her.
She’s really boring. Like, this person is less fun than watching someone else run a sandblaster levels of boring.
Alan, who might as well be named Deadmeat for the levels of foreshadowing going on here, deserves her.
It seems this setting has replaced texting with some form of implant that transmits subvocalizations formatted as incomplete HTML that pins the name awkwardly to the end of any given transmission. This is perfect. In that, it is absolute crap. She gets semi-involuntary pop ups directly into her eyes. Which means that every text is a: in its own chat window like texts are, b: still has the person’s name attached to the end of it. I need a picture from Wheel of Fish for this one.
No image attached. Just use your imagination. Anything related to advanced stupid or you get nothing stupid will do the trick.
Now we get a description of Neghar. Some like 10 pages of random trivial irrelevant crap about Kira first. Then something about the one other person in this hemisphere. Because Kira is that much more important than any other person. Neghar has a personality which makes her a million times more interesting than Kira already.
It turns out the self piloting sub orbital shuttle has manual doors. I get that science missions tend to be under funded. But, they had to go with the base model? They couldn’t spring for electric doors? My car has more advanced tech than the airlock of his super advanced space shuttle. That’s kind of sad.
This is a moon with a thin poisonous atmosphere, deadly sea water, dangerous amounts of UV light, and this is a prime target for colonization? If he’s going for hard science here, why not try that anywhere else in the story? It’s like the rest of the story is about as hard as microwaved butter and this is suddenly a big wad of packing foam. Not in the way though, that would make a certain amount of sense. Having a big chunk of semi-believable obstacle in the path. But, no. This island of packing foam is off in the distance. So the protagonist can look at it through binoculars while she continues to sail a ship made of popcorn. Because everything in this book is just the worst.
For anyone curious experts generally believe Venus is the best first target for colonization in the solar system. The surface is not friendly but at altitude a person could survive in ordinary scuba gear. Mars is not so welcoming. Flying “cities” on Venus are a very real possibility. Depending on engineering, science, and financial considerations that are still unclear. I am rapidly coming to agree with all the ‘screw planets that’s the needlessly difficult way’ people. It seems like much less work and much less environmental damage to just make artificial habitat structures than to colonize worlds. Some of the O’Neal cylinder designs out there are just amazing and with thousands of Earths worth of real estate I just can’t see the appeal of wasting energy to live on some random chunk of rock.
She finds some rocks. Which are apparently vastly more interesting than alien bacteria. To a biologist.
Press X to doubt.
Insert the alien hardware scene. Alien hardware shows up, it acts like idiots expect nanites would in hentai.
Kira does not act like a scientist. She barely acts like a person. She walks when a scientist would run, runs when they would crawl, and generally asks the wrong questions. Does he really think someone would devote a lifetimes effort to get a low paying job with difficult working conditions because they don't want to do it?
It’s very much like how Eragon approached new things. There’s this implicit sense that the author already knows these things so the character has no need to be curious. Just dance along with the string little puppet. It will all work out in the end.
I know why I keep coming back this. Like Plan 9 From Outer Space it is doomed to be a special breed of classic.
At any rate. Entertainment this horrible is not meant to be experienced alone. Which means you lot are going through this with me. It’s time for chapter 2. Deal with it. That said, obviously I can’t handle this book on its own. The power of Netflix enables this.
It starts with the blandest and least useful of all possible descriptions of an island. That’s right we get a map reference number for a map we don’t have, half a coordinate, the name of a nearby continent, and we are told it’s in the South. Which is redundant with the only information we get from the coordinate. We do get to know that the island is mostly rocky. As opposed to… jello? Whatever. I need to get past the first paragraph.
The next few pages appear to be content free.
Kira doesn’t like flying, doesn’t like living in a tiny house, doesn’t like her job. Why is she doing this? It’s already been established that she is a xenobiologist who exclusively works on lifeless rocks. I have decided that I do not like her.
She’s really boring. Like, this person is less fun than watching someone else run a sandblaster levels of boring.
Alan, who might as well be named Deadmeat for the levels of foreshadowing going on here, deserves her.
It seems this setting has replaced texting with some form of implant that transmits subvocalizations formatted as incomplete HTML that pins the name awkwardly to the end of any given transmission. This is perfect. In that, it is absolute crap. She gets semi-involuntary pop ups directly into her eyes. Which means that every text is a: in its own chat window like texts are, b: still has the person’s name attached to the end of it. I need a picture from Wheel of Fish for this one.
No image attached. Just use your imagination. Anything related to advanced stupid or you get nothing stupid will do the trick.
Now we get a description of Neghar. Some like 10 pages of random trivial irrelevant crap about Kira first. Then something about the one other person in this hemisphere. Because Kira is that much more important than any other person. Neghar has a personality which makes her a million times more interesting than Kira already.
It turns out the self piloting sub orbital shuttle has manual doors. I get that science missions tend to be under funded. But, they had to go with the base model? They couldn’t spring for electric doors? My car has more advanced tech than the airlock of his super advanced space shuttle. That’s kind of sad.
This is a moon with a thin poisonous atmosphere, deadly sea water, dangerous amounts of UV light, and this is a prime target for colonization? If he’s going for hard science here, why not try that anywhere else in the story? It’s like the rest of the story is about as hard as microwaved butter and this is suddenly a big wad of packing foam. Not in the way though, that would make a certain amount of sense. Having a big chunk of semi-believable obstacle in the path. But, no. This island of packing foam is off in the distance. So the protagonist can look at it through binoculars while she continues to sail a ship made of popcorn. Because everything in this book is just the worst.
For anyone curious experts generally believe Venus is the best first target for colonization in the solar system. The surface is not friendly but at altitude a person could survive in ordinary scuba gear. Mars is not so welcoming. Flying “cities” on Venus are a very real possibility. Depending on engineering, science, and financial considerations that are still unclear. I am rapidly coming to agree with all the ‘screw planets that’s the needlessly difficult way’ people. It seems like much less work and much less environmental damage to just make artificial habitat structures than to colonize worlds. Some of the O’Neal cylinder designs out there are just amazing and with thousands of Earths worth of real estate I just can’t see the appeal of wasting energy to live on some random chunk of rock.
She finds some rocks. Which are apparently vastly more interesting than alien bacteria. To a biologist.
Press X to doubt.
Insert the alien hardware scene. Alien hardware shows up, it acts like idiots expect nanites would in hentai.
Kira does not act like a scientist. She barely acts like a person. She walks when a scientist would run, runs when they would crawl, and generally asks the wrong questions. Does he really think someone would devote a lifetimes effort to get a low paying job with difficult working conditions because they don't want to do it?
It’s very much like how Eragon approached new things. There’s this implicit sense that the author already knows these things so the character has no need to be curious. Just dance along with the string little puppet. It will all work out in the end.
I know why I keep coming back this. Like Plan 9 From Outer Space it is doomed to be a special breed of classic.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-10 05:23 pm (UTC)Second, Venus might be the most ideal planet to colonize first, but the problem is that Mercury and Venus are going to be the first to go when the sun starts to expand, so going to Mars first, and then beyond, is probably the "safest" bet in the long run. Of course, the sun's death throes aren't for millions of years yet, so who knows what could happen by then.
Third, I remember this scene where Kira finds the symbiote ONLY because when I was reading it, the part where she only rips her Achilles tendon is so... ridiculous I actually got up off my seat and physically tried doing this. Slowly, of course, so I didn't hurt myself. No matter what I tried, I could not for the life of me (even in slow motion or under a 'normal' speed that would allow me the same range of motion without the injury) recreate Kira's injury. I sporked the whole excerpt for Mara's benefit so he wouldn't have to melt his brain with it and have amusing commentary to make him feel better if he did, so I'll share what I wrote for this part:
"She (meaning Kira) turned… so she’s making an 180 degree motion. Her right foot stays stuck to the ground and she falls to a knee. Uh… Kira must have been turning with the speed of a cheetah because if it was a slow and deliberate movement, or even a natural movement at a steady rate of speed, like a normal turning speed, she would’ve realized her right foot doesn’t move. Turning to the right - her stuck foot - her body wouldn’t be able to make a complete turn. She’d be stopped literally in her tracks by her stuck foot. Turning to the left, at a certain point, there’s pressure on the right shin and I couldn’t make a full turn around. I got stuck. Even putting a modicum of speed - the speed at which a natural turn would be made - the pressure in my right shin was still there. I certainly didn’t fall to a knee. My left knee, to be exact. So I attempted a “fall” to my knee, and in response my right leg buckled rather than pull so hard I felt pain in my ankle. If anything, Kira should have ripped her KNEE not her Achilles tendon. What sort of physics is Paolini working with? Just how long are Kira’s legs that her knee could be completely fine but her TENDON rips?"
I'm also assuming that Paolini's never ripped his Achilles tendon before, because all Kira does is howl and blink back a few tears. That is not a practical reaction to that sort of injury. She should be screaming and crying and freaking out, because that injury is painful. Like on a scale of 1 - 10 of pain, it's a 25.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-10 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-10 06:51 pm (UTC)As for her leg. People do hella weird stuff to themselves sometimes. So I don't know.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-10 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-10 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 12:12 pm (UTC)- anontu
no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 02:39 am (UTC)A few months back, there was a NASA competition to design a sensor for detecting obstacles or holes on Venus. The device was to be placed in front of a Venus rover. I can't find the design specs now, but we could not use any visual means, very basic electronics and everything had to be encased in lead, because Venus is so caustic and hot. It sounds much worse than Mars. After all, we already have plenty of rovers on Mars.
Here is the challenge winners page for your reference: https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=7693
Here is the competition page but I could not find the specs there:
https://www.nasa.gov/feature/jpl/nasa-wants-your-help-designing-a-venus-rover-concept
no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 04:37 am (UTC)https://ntrs.nasa.gov/search.jsp?R=20030022668
https://phys.org/news/2018-10-nasa-humans-venus-brilliant-idea.html
https://qz.com/317243/nasa-scientists-want-to-colonize-venus-with-giant-floating-cities/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ5KV3rzuag
https://inspacenews.com/venus-exploration-research-and-colonization-part-vi/
The surface of Venus is arguably less habitable than Mars. But, the upper atmosphere is easily the friendliest place in the solar system. For small floating colonies it is as close to ideal as we have ever seen.
Europa is the moon you are thinking of. It might have life. Probably not. But, it might. The big problems are the cold and the lack of sunlight. Which makes power both a huge requirement and difficult to get.
It's a little weird to get sources for. One of those things that came up in conversation every so often in the physics department and with some of the aeronautical engineers I used to work and study with. I can't remember the first time I was introduced to it. One of those common knowledge in the field, hard to find outside of it things. But, yeah. Flying cities on Venus are more likely than a Mars colony. A Mars colony is just a Moon colony with extra steps.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 05:10 am (UTC)Are you an aeronautical engineer?
no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 01:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 01:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 12:17 pm (UTC)-anontu
no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-12 01:15 am (UTC)- anontu.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-18 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 02:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 11:58 pm (UTC)It looks like the reason airships work on Venus is because your lifting gas can be Earth-like atmosphere since Venus's atmosphere is more dense than ours. Here, you'd need hydrogen or helium. Hindenburg and its cousins showed us why we don't use hydrogen despite its abundance, and helium is rare (and therefore costly to produce in adequate quantities).
no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 03:06 am (UTC)I have to admit I burst out laughing when I read this. Which was a bad idea because I was eating a chocolate chip cookie at the time. Ow.
Which means both she and her bosses are unspeakable morons. That's a Pao-verse alright.
Please, my scooter has more advanced tech and it's only got a 125cc engine. (Also it's named after a Chinese lawyer who revolutionised 3rd Century law because my dad helped my pay for it, he's a lawyer, and I'm obsessed with the Three Kingdoms period.)
Aaaand I'm officially nauseous. Yay.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 12:10 pm (UTC)Is it for colonization? If so, how are they going to colonize it? Will they terraform it?
Is it because Kira deserves a sentient goo with a name that might as well be FlaccidShlong?
Are they searching for life? Because if so, why are they searching there, on a lifeless rock?
Or are they looking for the ever elusive legend, the Fractal of Crap?
no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 01:33 pm (UTC)Kira is apparently there to check for xenomorphs or something as a safety factor. But, all she ever does is look at bacteria. Except she clearly doesn't find bacteria interesting. Her attitude seems to be along the lines of: all we ever find are bacteria and Rachni and bacteria are boring.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 07:11 pm (UTC)But, all she ever does is look at bacteria. Except she clearly doesn't find bacteria interesting.
I can't say I like my job, but I do like the people I work with. If she doesn't like the people she's working with or her job, then what the hell is she doing there in the first place?
no subject
Date: 2020-07-11 10:54 pm (UTC)"Why won't you die?"
"Nanomachines, son."
no subject
Date: 2020-07-12 06:33 pm (UTC)Just because the plot demands it doesn't mean she can't like some aspect of her job. At the very least, have her like her colleagues! At least then if they died she could sob over them for a sentence before inevitably forgetting them.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-12 03:42 am (UTC)Even if she hated her job, an intelligent character would be thrilled to be finding ONLY worlds full of harmless bacteria. Considering the many, many deadly to the touch creatures that exist in our own world, marking off another planet as "safe" to colonize would be a big sigh of relief, IMO. What does she want? Chest-busting aliens to shake her outta of her monotonous existence?
no subject
Date: 2020-07-13 12:10 am (UTC)That being the case would it not make more sense to hire a microbiologist who studies single celled organisms? Biologists, by definition, work with more complex systems. "Xenobiology (XB) is a subfield of synthetic biology, the study of synthesizing and manipulating biological devices and systems. The name "xenobiology" derives from the Greek word xenos, which means "stranger, alien". From Wikipedia. "Top definition. xenobiologist · xeno strange biologist one who studies forms of life normally associated with science fiction characters who study extraterrestrial ..." from Urban dictionary.
If all she studies is single celled organisms she is a microbiologist. To be a xenobiologist she would need to study more complex systems.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-13 01:01 am (UTC)