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snarkbotanyaWell, it looks like my time has come. No more putting it off, it’s time to wade knee-deep into this steaming pile of bullshit.
*pulls on hazmat gear*
Let’s fucking go.
( When I clicked cut all I could think was that must have been the advice the editors gave Paolini )
This chapter is only seven pages long in the book, and and probably wouldn’t be more than four in a text document with typical margins and font size. This spork isn’t all that long either. The main reason that it took this long is because every time I tried to read this, I found myself bored out of my mind. Sure, there were a few little infuriating moments to latch onto, but for the most part my eyes just wanted to slide right off the page. Paolini’s complete inability to trim fat from his manuscripts is on full display throughout this novel, and at this point it is really starting to grate.
Epistler is up for the next chapter, “Recitations of Faith,” after which I’ll be back to spork some hideous dialogue in “The Court of Crows.” May your sporks stay sharp, friends.
snarkbotanyaWell, fuck.
Here it is, folks. The part of the book we’ve all been both anticipating and dreading. The part where Paolini decides that since he’s out of ideas, he may as well just rehash what Murtagh and Thorn went through in the main series, but on-screen this time. Yeah, just retraumatizing the boys as much as possible without doing any research on actual psychology. I’m sure that’ll work out so well.
Of course, that’s not all that’s infuriating about this section. Part III of #NotMyMurtagh also contains one of the most egregiously terrible retcons this series has ever seen. If you’ve not already read the book, prepare to scream incredulous expletives at your screen, because it’s going to be one hell of a trip. Luckily, we have Epistler taking on the duty of ripping the chapter with most of that bullshit to shreds; she’ll give it the exact harsh treatment it so richly deserves.
We’re also in for a good dose of standard Paolini awfulness as a side dish. From your standard tortured purple prose to the cultural carnage of Paolini taking another shot at prominently featuring an Urgal character to yet another attempt to write poetry, it’s a veritable smorgasbord of sloppy writing.
If I manage to get through this without punching something, it will be a goddamned miracle.
Part III: Nal Gorgoth
The Village - Epistler, SnarkbotAnya, & Torylltales collab
Bachel - ultimate_cheetah
The Tower of Flint - Epistler
Dreams and Portents - SnarkbotAnya
Recitations of Faith - Epistler
The Court of Crows - SnarkbotAnya
Tusk and Blade - torylltales
Mother’s Mercy - ultimate_cheetah
Breaking Point - Epistler
Upheaval - ultimate_cheetah
Anticipation - torylltales
The Bad Sleep-Well - Epistler
Nightmare - SnarkbotAnya
Uvek - Epistler
Obliteration - Scales
Waking Dreams -
Fragments - SnarkbotAnya
Without Flaw -
Choices - Scales
Qazhqargla - torylltales
A Question of Faith -
Black Smoke - SnarkbotAnya
Fire and Wind - torylltales
Grieve - SnarkbotAnya
torylltalesMurtagh, part 2 chapter 11: The Door of Stone
( Read more... )
Next up: Part 2 Chapter 12: Pathways Into Darkness, with the one and only Epistler.
Morontagh Interview Spork Part Four
Mar. 4th, 2025 08:23 pmepistler( Roran laughs and smiles while killing people. Paolini laughs and smiles while talking about trauma. Coincidence? )epistler( We're done with the misogyny - time for racism! )epistlerAnd it's not even just the stupid hat.
( In the thumbnail of a YouTube vid, there's no question why I'm smiling... )
minionnumber2Hello, fine travelers. I can’t believe we’ve finally gotten to my turn. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to finish this sporking. I can't believe Paolini still has a career after his last three books. I’m trying my best to make sure there are no major holes in this one, but we'll see how it goes.
( Read more... )Up next we have
ultimate_cheetah with Softly Creeping. That one's a doozy so good luck.
torylltalesI hope this is the chapter where Paolini apologises to his readers for lying about the eldunari in the Vault of Souls. Probably not, though.
( The chapter title has nothing to do with the chapter. )
Next up: Chapter VIII, “Masks”, with Epistler.
And don't forget to check out the Part 2 chapter list, as a reminder of which chapters have been claimed by whom.
snarkbotanyaWho wants to bet this whole arc, or at least the fact that it centers around a fish, came out of the pun that is this chapter’s title?
Our last chapter ended with Murtagh running away from the scene of his completely unnecessary grave-robbing. This is a much better way to end a chapter than Paolini’s favored method of Protagonist Unconsciousness. For best results, it should be followed up with a) a scene break to the character post-escape, or b) a continuation of the scene where they must now evade pursuers.
Paolini picks neither of these.
( Paoliini's ability to come so very close to the mark and yet fall so far is almost impressive, really. )
The more I read of this section of the book, the more unnecessary it feels. Knowing what lies beyond it, though, I can’t help but wonder whether I’ve been dragging my feet on these sporks because there’s worse to come. But with a new year coming in and a new book apparently in the works, it’s high time to ramp this up.
Until next time, my friends.
