antishurtugal_reborn | Recent Entries

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pangolin20

This is an index of this blog, containing the greater part of all reviews (sporks, commentaries, and such), fanart/fanfic, and articles in whatever form that are on it. You can also check as-sporkive for more content.

If you want to have anything about this list changed, let me know and I will do so.
( Reviews )
( Stories )
( Articles )

masterghandalf

Warning: This post contains discussion of all the gross and squicky elements of the Chronicles of Blood and Stone.

And so, everyone, we have come at long last to the end of Robert Newcomb’s Chronicles of Blood and Stone. What have we learned on our journey? Mostly that Robert Newcomb is a hack writer utterly undeserving of the hype he initially got as a major new voice in fantasy, that he has some very disturbing views on women, a very gross fascination with gore and edge, can barely string a story together to save his life, and that his ultimate fall into obscurity was very well deserved. What more is there to say? But before we go, let’s take a look back at both the trilogy as a whole and The Scrolls of the Ancients in particular, to not only see just what is so bad about Newcomb’s writing but also why, and maybe if there are any lessons we can take away from his writing about how to do this stuff better (aside from the obvious “don’t be Robert Newcomb”).

To start with, we’ll go back over some of the elements specific to Scrolls (but I think by this point we’ve all got a pretty good handle on the issues Newcomb has with characters, plot, writing, theme etc.) and then zoom out a bit to take a look at the Chronicles in their entirety, now that we’ve completed our trip through them. Onward!

( The Scrolls of the Ancients Final Thoughts )

( Chronicles of Blood and Stone Final Thoughts )

Current Location: Redoubt of the Directorate
Current Music: The Last Goodbye

snarkbotanya

The longer this book goes on, the more reading it becomes an unpleasant chore. I might legitimately have more fun reading a finance textbook, and nothing, but nothing, glazes my eyes over like finance.

( Stay away from my beloved corvidae, Paolini! )

This book does not need to exist. That has become my mantra while reading it. This book did not need to be written. This book did not need to be published. This book does not need to exist.

Next up will be Torylltales with “Tusk and Blade”. In the meantime, I’m getting back to rereading The Lord of the Rings.

epistler

Good news, now you can use this very sophisticated and original "runic alphabet" to write like a PaoHuman.

Current Mood: tired

epistler

Well, not really. The fans are sounding less impressed by the day.

Current Mood: lethargic

epistler

It is now, at least in my timezone, officially 2026!
Paolini's "big announcement" that was supposed to happen at some point in 2025 has now officially failed to happen; I checked his TwitX feed a few seconds ago and it's nothing but another vague reference to "scripts". And some idiot named their new baby Orrin. (At least it wasn't Eragon or Roran for once).

May the new year bring more sporks, more spitefics, and a continued lack of a piece of shit TV series based on a piece of shit book by Christopher Plagiarini. Please enjoy this song about every single one of his awful protagonists.

Watch on YouTube

Current Mood: drunk
Current Music: Piss All Over Your Grave - Scary Bitches

masterghandalf

MG's Note: For some context, for a bit more than a year now, I've been sporking Demetrious Polychron's The Fellowship of the King over on Das Sporking and my own journal. For those unaware, it was a disastrous attempt at an "official" sequel to The Lord of the Rings (projected as the first in a seven-book saga) that, despite being a fanfic, the author tried to publish and sell for profit, without the Tolkien Estate's approval, and then had the gall to sue both the Estate and Amazon for somehow ripping him off with the Rings of Power tv show. This, predictably, resulted in Polychron losing and being forbidden to continue with his project. What was less talked about was that the fic itself was very, very bad. I've not been posting these sporks on here, because it's a fanfic and not Inheritance related, but I thought my final analysis might be of some interest to people. If you want to start reading the spork from the beginning, feel free to check it out here or here.

Warning: This post contains general discussion of all the various gross elements in the fic as a whole.

( Final Thoughts )

Current Location: The Grey Havens
Current Music: Into the West

torylltales

This is the fourth and final part of our spork of Paolini’s July 2025 “Ask Me Anything” thread on Reddit.

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epistler

...or not. What was Paolini so smugly reacting to?

A bunch of unsupported hyperbole from a no-name "news" outlet, accompanied by hideous AI slop. It's going to "dominate television" when we have no showrunner, no casting, no dates, no nothing, and it's been how many years by this point? I mean this is just embarrassing.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Baxter Dury - Schadenfreude

epistler

( An ending... and a new beginning? )

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: The Pogues - Fairytale of New York

mara_dienne459

Well, here we are. This is the final chapter. Everything gets tied up in a nice little bow and there's set up for the next book, but oh, we won't worry about it because it just pisses off Simon and so he decides to not think about it and go be a creep instead. As usual. Also, Meg is a Sue through and through, because she doesn't accept responsibility for anything, including the crap that's clearly her fault.

( Sues Never Take Responsibility For Anything )

masterghandalf

( A Conversation with Robert Newcomb )

Current Location: Eutracia
Current Music: The Council of Elrond

epistler

( Read more... )

Current Mood: angry

epistler

I was checking Inheriwiki while writing the next spitefic and stumbled across this.

I am fucking speechless right now.

I... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: Opeth - Serenity Painted Death

dinogrrl

( Chapter 17: is all the Spinosaurus rampaging enough to save this story? )

( Epilogue )

epistler

Well, it occurred to me that I haven't posted any spitefic in quite some time, but I've come up with a good idea for a short (well, I'm aiming for short, but there are no guarantees when I do) one which I'm about to start writing as your Christmas present from me! No promises it'll be ready in time for Christmas Day, but I'll do my best. Good thing I'm currently between novels. (And a few minutes ago I submitted one to a publisher! Fingers crossed!).

It'll be about Ismira Urgal-Maiden, and may contain a special Ra'zac appearance. And now to get to work!

Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: Taylor Swift - Love Story

kirito210

Lately, I've been asking myself this question, especially with everything that's happening with artificial intelligence (which many expect writers to embrace, or else they'll be finished; or something like that).

I admit that when creating my story and building the world around it, I used several elements from other media (books, movies, series, and even anime) as inspiration. And recently, I've been afraid of being criticized, or worse, accused of plagiarism, because of the similarities between the elements I used in my story.

Or maybe I'm just being paranoid (as I always am).

Anyway, putting my paranoid thoughts aside, what do you all think? I'm all ears.

(I have a feeling I've asked this question before, but I can't be sure.)