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snarkbotanyaWell, fuck.
Here it is, folks. The part of the book we’ve all been both anticipating and dreading. The part where Paolini decides that since he’s out of ideas, he may as well just rehash what Murtagh and Thorn went through in the main series, but on-screen this time. Yeah, just retraumatizing the boys as much as possible without doing any research on actual psychology. I’m sure that’ll work out so well.
Of course, that’s not all that’s infuriating about this section. Part III of #NotMyMurtagh also contains one of the most egregiously terrible retcons this series has ever seen. If you’ve not already read the book, prepare to scream incredulous expletives at your screen, because it’s going to be one hell of a trip. Luckily, we have Epistler taking on the duty of ripping the chapter with most of that bullshit to shreds; she’ll give it the exact harsh treatment it so richly deserves.
We’re also in for a good dose of standard Paolini awfulness as a side dish. From your standard tortured purple prose to the cultural carnage of Paolini taking another shot at prominently featuring an Urgal character to yet another attempt to write poetry, it’s a veritable smorgasbord of sloppy writing.
If I manage to get through this without punching something, it will be a goddamned miracle.
Part III: Nal Gorgoth
The Village - Epistler, SnarkbotAnya, & Torylltales collab
Bachel - ultimate_cheetah
The Tower of Flint - Epistler
Dreams and Portents - SnarkbotAnya
Recitations of Faith - Epistler
The Court of Crows - SnarkbotAnya
Tusk and Blade - torylltales
Mother’s Mercy - ultimate_cheetah
Breaking Point - Epistler
Upheaval - ultimate_cheetah
Anticipation - torylltales
The Bad Sleep-Well - Epistler
Nightmare - SnarkbotAnya
Uvek - Epistler
Obliteration - Scales
Waking Dreams -
Fragments - SnarkbotAnya
Without Flaw -
Choices - Scales
Qazhqargla - torylltales
A Question of Faith -
Black Smoke - SnarkbotAnya
Fire and Wind - torylltales
Grieve - SnarkbotAnya
Murtagh Spork: Part 2: Chapter 17 - Exile
Jun. 30th, 2025 12:32 amultimate_cheetahAlright, hello everyone. Today we are going over the last chapter of the first half, Exile. So, keep your hands and feet inside the coaster for all times, and be prepared foooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrr..........nothing too exciting. Most of this chapter is travel. We get an actual day by day itinerary. The entire thing is them going to Nal Gorgoroth. This chapter has some tidbits in it that could be kept, but given the amount of dithering that has been going on, we can’t really afford more.
Oops, Let's Fix That On The Sly
Mar. 30th, 2025 06:44 pmepistlerSo apparently the good people of Reddit have noticed that the new paperback edition of Morontagh has included a few hasty corrections. You know, shit that should have been corrected well before the first print run. Frankly, and I'm sure I'm not alone here, I find this really fucking insulting.
Here's what they've found so far.
( You know what? Fuck all of you. )
Here's what they've found so far.
( You know what? Fuck all of you. )
Morontagh Interview Spork Part Four
Mar. 4th, 2025 08:23 pmepistler And the spork is finished! Huzzah! Now for part four - there's probably one more instalment after that, maybe two. We'll see. (Looks like it'll be two. Aren't you lucky).
( Roran laughs and smiles while killing people. Paolini laughs and smiles while talking about trauma. Coincidence? )
( Roran laughs and smiles while killing people. Paolini laughs and smiles while talking about trauma. Coincidence? )
epistler Well I'm nearly finished with this one - just nine minutes of blathering to go. Sometimes being stuck inside during a nasty heatwave has its benefits. The pets are definitely happy to have me all to themselves and I would like to thank them for their moral support during this difficult time.
( We're done with the misogyny - time for racism! )
( We're done with the misogyny - time for racism! )
snarkbotanyaWho wants to bet this whole arc, or at least the fact that it centers around a fish, came out of the pun that is this chapter’s title?
Our last chapter ended with Murtagh running away from the scene of his completely unnecessary grave-robbing. This is a much better way to end a chapter than Paolini’s favored method of Protagonist Unconsciousness. For best results, it should be followed up with a) a scene break to the character post-escape, or b) a continuation of the scene where they must now evade pursuers.
Paolini picks neither of these.
( Paoliini's ability to come so very close to the mark and yet fall so far is almost impressive, really. )
The more I read of this section of the book, the more unnecessary it feels. Knowing what lies beyond it, though, I can’t help but wonder whether I’ve been dragging my feet on these sporks because there’s worse to come. But with a new year coming in and a new book apparently in the works, it’s high time to ramp this up.
Until next time, my friends.
snarkbotanyaWelcome back to #NotMyMurtagh, all. When we last left off, our protagonist had attempted to contact his not-so-secret admirer Ilenna, but instead roused suspicion with a mage whose description sounded like Lucius Malfoy got Isekai’d into Alagaësia. I’m not sure whether that would be an upward, downward, or lateral move. Anyway, Murtagh then got bailed out by some guy who claimed to be sent by the werecat Carabel, and has now followed the purported messenger into a dark tunnel.
( This chapter could have been a section. )
Regardless, this chapter is over, and now we’re moving on from getting reminded of Star Wars by “younglings” to getting reminded of LotR by “Barrow-Wights.”
Spoiler: there are no barrow-wights in the next chapter, nor does the word “wights” occur at any point in the actual prose text. But I’ll let Epistler talk about that.
Until next time, my friends.
ultimate_cheetah
Welcome to Part Two, everyone. I personally think this is one of the better parts of the book, because Murtagh is actually doing something each chapter, and not just sitting around a village. However, this is where the book gets disjointed, with Murtagh having to go from place to place in order to get something done. I think this works to the book’s detriment, both because it makes the plot needlessly complicated and harder to follow (with step 1 of this subplot being to rob a grave, step 2 being to catch a fish, step 3 being to join the guard, etc., etc.), and second, because it takes away Murtagh’s agency in this book. Without further ado, let’s begin.
The Last Scion
May. 4th, 2024 06:48 ammara_dienne459 Now we get into true fan fiction territory, and if my math is right, we're about a quarter through this thing.
( Chapter Seven )
( Chapter Seven )
snarkbotanyaPart I of Murtagh dragged, but it was, all things considered, mercifully short. Now we’re getting into the meat of the book. Unfortunately, when you actually get into it, the meat is mostly just fat that should have been trimmed off.
In our initial discussions, Toryll, Epistler, and I called this section of the book a video game side quest. Upon reflection, though, I think that’s underselling it. This isn’t a side quest that you can safely skip and never worry about again. No, it’s one of those quests that’s not technically a side quest because you need to complete it in order to progress the plot, but that has absolutely nothing else to do with said plot. It’s a quest that holds the plot hostage. And it compounds: to complete the should-be-a-sidequest, Murtagh has to complete a whole other sidequest, and then a whole other one, and it just spirals into a padded cell of irrelevance.
This part of the book is also where we really see Paolini hit Murtagh with the failure stick. If you thought he was dumbed down before, wait until you see him almost lose a fight to a werecat child.
Yes, that is a thing that happens.
A few chapters have already been claimed here, but as there are quite a few more than last section, there are several still up for grabs. Feel free to take one or two for yourself!
Part II: Gil’ead
Hostile Territory - Ultimate_Cheetah
Questions for a Cat - SnarkbotAnya
Barrow-Wights - Epistler
Fish Tales - SnarkbotAnya
Muckmaw - Epistler
Heave and Toil - Scales
In Defense of Lies - Torylltales
Masks - Epistler
Uniforms - minionnumber2
Softly Creeping… - Ultimate_Cheetah
The Door of Stone - SnarkbotAnya
Pathways into Darkness - Epistler
Confrontation with a Cat - Scales
Duel of Wits - SnarkbotAnya
The Tangle Box - Torylltales
Aftermath - ignoresandra
Exile - Ultimate_Cheetah
snarkbotanyaWell, I’ve certainly been dragon my feet long enough…
*is promptly righteously keelhauled for that pun, resulting in another week of delay to recover from near drowning*
Yeah, it’s been kind of a busy year. I haven’t had a week without something unexpected coming up to mess with my schedule for a good couple months, and it was already a bit busy. Sorry it took so long to get this done, but I will try to get back in the saddle going forward.
In any case. Not My Murtagh. Chapter Five. Dragonflight. Let’s fucking go.
( Let's see how much #NotOurBoys are dragon THEIR feet )
Who’s up for the next chapter is still up in the air, as the chapters for Part II haven’t been allocated yet. I will get the chapter assignment post up shortly so that we can all stake our claims. Once more into the breach, my friends.
The Last Scion
Apr. 28th, 2024 06:27 ammara_dienne459 We kind of start to match up here with events from Book Three, and then we push on into fanfic territory.
( Chapter Six )
( Chapter Six )
The Last Scion
Apr. 27th, 2024 11:03 ammara_dienne459 Now things start to get a little off the rails. Like I said, being older now, I know how bad this chapter is and it makes me wish I had taken a different route.
( Chapter Five )
( Chapter Five )
The Last Scion
Apr. 21st, 2024 08:30 ammara_dienne459 This is where the fanfic overlapped with book two, after Murtagh and Thorn return from the Burning Plains.
( Chapter Four )
( Chapter Four )
The Last Scion
Apr. 14th, 2024 04:24 pmmara_dienne459 Hey, now it's time for chapter two of this 15 year old cringe! Unlike a fine wine, I don't think this aged well at all. I was rereading it today and I can see EVERYTHING wrong with it, now that I know better and have more experience.
( Honestly, I Don't Know )
