The Chemist Spork: Chapter 16

[rhyson]

Chapter 16

Fifty wakes up. Again. Meyer must have studied up on Paolini, because I'm pretty sure half of the chapter breaks so far involve altered consciousness. I get it. It feels natural. It also feels really lame and predictable after the third time.

 

( More boring shit inside the house. It ends soon and we get fed a different variety of bullshit. I promise. )

 

Red Brick Commentary

[mara_dienne459]

Wow. Only 11 more chapters before this monster is finished and it's time to move on to number three. So close. 


( Making a Plan to Run )

The Chemist Spork: Chapter 17

[rhyson]

Chapter 17

“Kevin didn't call.” Oh, noes! This is even more exciting than that time the Fellowship ran into a Balrog. Jason Bourne would have pissed his pants. It's just one more terrible chapter starter. ...... I checked through the ones we've had so far and there's only one that isn't boring/stupid. The worst one is the first sentence of the entire book, about routines. The second worst one so far started with dialogue, but no quotation mark, so it looked like a POV change.

 

( If this is what happens during 'action,' karaoke in the kitchen might be less bad. Warning: some of the poor dogs are killed out of visual range of Fifty.  )