I tried to read the space brick

[cmdrnemo]

I have in front of me two wildly different things. The one is an hour and twenty minutes video on the restoration of a sixty year old lawnmower. I do not have a lawn, or a workshop, and do not do small engine repair. This is completely outside the realm of my interests. On the other is the sneak peek early access copy of To Sleep in a Sea of Stars. I am now fifteen minutes into the lawnmower video and page one of the book. This is the capacity this book has to entertain a classic sci-fi fan. Someone whose favourite books are listed as references for this novel and who is the exact target audience for it. For the rest of this, when not distracted, I’m just going to attach my thoughts as I go along.


Initial setting: An airless moon of an orange gas giant in a series of domed buildings connected by tunnels. The compound has “the” lab not “a” lab so there’s only the one. It contains a gene sequencer. So my initial thoughts are, that’s not how labs work. Think of a lab as a desk in an office. Everyone doesn’t work at “the” desk. Why does the lab on an airless moon near a gas giant have a gene sequencer? What genetics are there to sequence in two lifeless environments? The gene sequencer is large, heavy and wall mounted. But, Kira needs to move it for some reason. She immediately violates lab safety procedures thereby suffering a cut on her palm.

Small engine repair looks surprisingly fun and rewarding.

Kira hits the machine and starts whining about time away from Alan. Whom she has apparently been dating for the last year and have already had to spend several years apart. I guess they have a mutual love of time paradoxes and sucking at basic math. This might explain why she’s the xenobiologist on a mission to a lifeless moon. Either last year or many years ago she and Alan first met when surveying an asteroid. Another mission with zero need for a xenobiologist. Why are all her missions to lifeless rocks? Is she the galaxy’s worst scientist?

Restoring old machines is like pressure cleaning a deck. Just that constant reward of obvious progress. Remarkably satisfying.

Like she said earlier they’ve had several postings together. They work for a company and he’s a geologist. She wants to change careers and settle down. He wants to continue to explore the galaxy. It’s super boring. She’s annoying, whiny, boring, and not very smart. Those are the character traits this chapter is working hard to get across. I’m starting to have questions about these missions. Yes, aside from the constant why is a xenobiologist here, questions. I feel that a better book would have explained what these missions are trying to accomplish. Are these follow ups to automated drone surveys just to confirm valuable raw materials exist? Are they marking locations for mining equipment? Is mining even involved, that feels likely. But, what is the point of shipping small quantities of common resources at high expense back to sites that already contain large amounts of those same resources? They might be exploring systems for eventual colonization. Except that had better not be a short term mission. You want to observe a system for at least a few centuries first. No one wants surprise xenomorphs or giant meteors on colony year five.

Well there goes an hour twenty. Made it to page 6. In fairness that video was much more interesting than it first appeared.

Kira is expecting a reply from Alpha Centauri within two months. Alpha Centauri is a trinary star system 4.4 light years from us. With current technology a rocket ship accelerated to 1700 kilometers per second which is 100 times faster than Voyager 1 would get there in roughly 771 years. This is really the best we could do right now. The fuel costs to get a rocket going that fast would be insane. So, what is the tech like in this? Interstellar travel is apparently easy because these idiots keep getting sent off on short term missions. This book sucks. I need a break.

“Come on, you bastard,” she said, and strode over to the gene sequencer and yanked on it with all her strength. With a screech of protest, it moved.

You know what I want to see from a scientist in a space opera: brute physical labour.

What are you trying to accomplish with this opening? It doesn’t introduce the setting beyond “space opera” it doesn’t introduce us to the main character beyond “dudette likes people she likes” there is no conflict or tension beyond the arbitrary battle with the machine. We can’t sympathize with that because there’s no context for it. There’s no reason given to move this thing. There’s no information given here at all. It’s just empty words. It says less than I have!

I need a new video.

The next part starts with the traditional expedition’s end party in the mess hall. If only I knew what the goal of duration of these missions was. I’m going to assume they came out here to look at one rock and have been here for twenty minutes. That way when she spends an hour getting ready to celebrate the mission it feels as wildly inappropriate as possible.

Kira doesn’t want to go to the party. She just spent over an hour prepping for a work party with the same eight people she just spent twenty minutes looking at a rock with. Why not just show up? Blah blah blah, party is boring, can see why she didn’t want to go. It’s just a collection of redshirts with name tags. Why is there a botanist? Why does he have a crawler? He got sand in his skinsuit. On a moon it is called dust. So where were you botany boy? Did you spend this whole expedition on the wrong stellar object? The heck is a crawler that it can get that lost?

Turns out they’ve been on this moon for four months. It must have taken them a while to find that rock. Sorry, he’s not a xenobotanist, he’s a regular botanist. Which means he was driving around some random rock under an alien sun looking for regular Earth plants and fungi. I suppose we are going to discover that strawberries are the dominant galactic life form. Oh, it’s a prospective colony world.

So far they have a mess hall and are using the shorthand “regs” this is all very facist. It’s not how civilian scientists work at all.

So it turns out this moon does have air and even microbes. Which should, in a sane setting, take it completely off the potential colony list. Could you imagine the environmental activist reaction to importing alien life to a world? The ecological damage would be total. That’s a disaster of unprecedented scale.

My new videos are a series of yacht reviews. If I had a million dollars…

A drone goes down after detecting a potential new lifeform. This is treated, by Kira, as a minor nuisance she doesn’t want to deal with. Exactly the attitude we all want to see in the xenobiologist assigned to analyze future colony worlds. No wonder these people had to deal with something called the “Scourge.”

The biggest problem with this book so far is that things happen, then the story provides the context needed to make those things interesting or relevant. It’s like Kira took a shower. Turns out there was a spider in the corner the whole time. She knew that during the shower and did not like it. But, you get all that in this backward weird order and as a summary so you could never care. It’s just that over and over again mixed with references as subtle as a board with a nail in it.

I’m going to stop here. Wishing I had a yacht with some sort of workshop on it. Possibly the most pointless machine ever created. Because nothing that ever happens in this book is going to be interesting. But, it will absolutely satisfy the author’s fans because once you already know the context for everything it does sort of work. Since they will get through it on rosy glasses alone they’ll have the interest without context and the context in hand to justify it all afterwards.

Comments

[epistler]

It really is just that boring, isn't it? And our heroine is only going to get even less likable and more obnoxious as things go on.

[cmdrnemo]

The only interesting thing about it is just how bad at storytelling it is. It's not just the characters, setting, plot, and prose that are boring. It's also the order information is presented. This is a book that demands to be ignored and left unfinished on the shelf. I expect it to sell to his fans and a handful of non readers as gifts to young readers in the family.

[(Anonymous)]

"Someone whose favourite books are listed as references for this novel and who is the exact target audience for it. For the rest of this, when not distracted"

Agreed. Dune, Hyperion, Starship Troopers, etc are all books I've enjoyed, or in the case of Heinlein, at least made me think, even if I didn't wholly agree with some of his views. This... this is melatonin in text form...

For all the research done, the lack of life experience shows right off the first page. I read this to a friend of mine who has no real interest in scifi outside of films or shows, and even they pointed out the lack of wheeled equipment and the fact she contaminated with her blood. This isn't rocket science, just common sense

[hidden_urchin]

What really stood out to me was the lack of resource-based thinking. For instance, Kira's dress. Not only is it something entirely impractical, with only one (frivolous) use, it's something that has a tangible cost when you're living on the margins: either it costs energy to transport it as weight aboard your ship, or it costs matter, time, and energy to fabricate on-site. One of the redshirts "printed" a pair dress shoes, just for the party. Again, that's using matter and energy for a non-practical purpose. Alan's flowers: grown only to be destroyed.

What's more is he's created a contradiction in his worldbuilding. They grow their own food "partly to reduce the amount of supplies they had to bring with them." In other words, resource-use should be a problem, but they don't act like it is, which totally removes any possible tension (and undermines the worldbuilding).

I think this lack of resource-based thinking and scarcity is one of the reasons the first chapter comes off so flat. These could be any middle-class Americans meeting at the end of any work project. If he'd built scarcity into his world, we'd get more tension and color. What if they're wearing work clothes because that's all they have? What if, instead of a dress, Kira's wearing a scarf with her work clothes--the only personal item light enough to bring with her, one she's carried from post to post? What if the redshirt does manufacture dress shoes, knowing she'll catch hell for it from their company, but she doesn't care because she's had it with them running her life, and this is her last hurrah? What if the reason Kira has to go after a drone is not that they don't have time to create another, but they don't have the materials?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm reminded of Dune and Dr. Yueh talking about how much was being wasted on trees that were just there to flaunt the Imperial wealth. But you bring up a good point, if things are scare, they seem only when the plot demands it. The chap. with the flowers was sentimental hogwash, written to convey mood, I suppose, but left me thinking... huh, how much soil and water was wasted on that? That's a cucumber, an herb garden, etc that went down the drain! I guess 3D printers are magic and the concept of diminishing returns is lost on CP... not surprising at all.

[cmdrnemo]

Or... Let's say each department has a resource budget for all the items they need to bring or create during a survey. Then the party at the end is a: after the transport to pick them up has already landed and all the gear that is getting returned is already aboard and b: everyone blowing the last of the budget on frivolous crap with some metric they all know about so it properly shows off how good they are at what they do. Then when Kira shows up with 2 kilos of light fabric it's not much of a showing. So there's the reason she isn't excited about the party. She is going to lose the little end of effort contest. Which also means yeah. They don't have more drones to send. The next batch of drones comes with the follow up team and [legitimate reason] has delayed them so they won't get here for a few months. Which means this one needs to be fixed. And the longer she takes to fix it the longer everyone has to wait around for her to get back. Then she'd at least be a bit of an underdog and the audience would have some reason to care about her.

[torylltales]

I opened it up and then watched three hours of Gordon Ramsay hating food instead of reading it. It really is that bland.

[epistler]

The first time I tried reading it I got bored and distracted as well. It seems to be a common thread.

[torylltales]

It's so bland that Gordon Ramsay would tell Paolini to add more salt.

[epistler]

"What are you? AN IDIOT SANDWICH!"

[(Anonymous)]

"What are you trying to accomplish with this opening? It doesn’t introduce the setting beyond “space opera” it doesn’t introduce us to the main character beyond “dudette likes people she likes” there is no conflict or tension beyond the arbitrary battle with the machine. We can’t sympathize with that because there’s no context for it. There’s no reason given to move this thing. There’s no information given here at all. It’s just empty words. It says less than I have!"

It's funny how much Chris loves Dune, but neglected to take a few pointers on how to develop a complex plot, weave them together, then have payoffs along the way. Compare Kira's intro to Dune's - we're give an excerpt that sets the time, place, and tone; it's not a pointless filler quote from mythology, it serves a pourpose; then we're slowly introduced to the main character through his own confusion in seeing the Reverend Mother (this allows us the reader to relate to Paul, as we're also confused and thrust upon this alien future). The first chap is roughly 20 pages, but by the end, we have an understanding how the hows and whys, the whos and the whats... Kira, on the other hand, is bitter she'll be away from her BF, and is angry at a machine, so much so she cause harm to herself... are you a grown woman or a love-sick teenager? IMO, I'd expect a woman who made it through college to be a xenobiologist, let along chosen by a corporation for long-distance missions to have more common sense and a good head on her shoulders. Imagine if we were to send people to Mars on a 3 year flight with Kira on board... it'd be an utter disaster!

[cmdrnemo]

It would take so very little. Start with describing the lab. Then Kira looks out the window at the gas giant. Don't talk about the stars. From it's moon the gas giant would be bright enough that the stars couldn't be seen. Simple physics of the exact sort he should have been researching. Forget the dang sequencer. Have her print the dress from the lab replicator. Then get all distracted by thoughts because the printing process is old hat. Even better have her talk to someone. Introduce a non-Alan character she's been working with every day and let them talk about life, love, and a hard boiled egg. Maybe talk about what they think being a colonist on this world would be like. Let Kira argue in favour of staying in one place while her friend waxes lyrical about the adventure of setting up the first round of drones on future colony worlds. That would establish the setting, a couple of characters, and at least an internal conflict in the hero between the job she loves and the life she dreams about. There'd be some personality in it. This book needs three more re-writes to get to decent.

[gharial]

Wait, why do you have an early copy?

[silverskyfeather]

I'm not the OP, but they probably downloaded the extended preview: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250794093
It was first brought up in this post: https://antishurtugal-reborn.dreamwidth.org/123465.html

[epistler]

But it may not be available outside of the US, I should add. I know it's not available in Australia, or India.

[gharial]

Ah. I was thinking a full physical copy had been sent out.

[snarkbotanya]

This book is sort of fascinating to me, but only on a weird meta level. The way Paolini has been promoting this thing, it's a labor of love, a passion project, something he's poured hours and hours of research and worldbuilding and editing into. It's something he's excited about sharing with the world.

Boy, does that ever not come across in the text.

One thing I consistently say makes Eragon better than its sequels is that even when it's being boring or stupid, you can still tell that the author was having fun. There's a sense of joy there, and wonder, and it makes me think back to my teenage years when I read the book as a fan. There are moments in Eragon that some part of me, deep down, still genuinely enjoys because I can feel Paolini's enthusiasm. I don't get that from his later books. There's a little bit in Eldest, but once we get to Brisingr it just feels plodding and heartless, as if it was written more as a chore than an exploration of one of the many worlds in its author's head. It felt like Paolini had grown bored with the Cycle.

Given the exuberant promotion of this book, however, and its complete lack of joy and wonder, I can't help but wonder... did he? Or did he simply degenerate as a writer to the point that he could no longer convey that sense of charm and enchantment?

[epistler]

Or did he simply degenerate as a writer to the point that he could no longer convey that sense of charm and enchantment?

Hell, it could be both for all we know. I mean it's not like someone's forcing him to keep writing at gunpoint, right?
Uh... right?

[torylltales]

Kenneth Paolini: *looms silently in the shadows*

[epistler]

*sinister music sting*

[(Anonymous)]

It's no surprise that some, if not all, the passion is gone and he's keeping up appearances. In the time since he published Inheritance a decade ago, he's got nothing to show - no short stories, no scripts, just his tweets saying he's 'hard at work" Just about every other writer, great or small, from the Sandersons to the Martins of the world are always busy keeping their names in print. even if they're working on big, sweeping epics, they till find time for shorter works, a short story satisfying a morsel of an idea they had, etc. A decade and this is the best you've got? I'm thoroughly unamused.

[epistler]

To be fair it's possible he has worked on some other things in the meantime but just hasn't said anything about it (after all, the WormFork Book took us all by surprise because we had no idea he'd even been writing it until he announced the release date).

...but with that said, I'm just as unimpressed as you are that this is apparently the best he could manage after ten years and multiple drafts. Seriously, dude? That's it? Really?

[cmdrnemo]

Dune had a message about chosen ones and religion. Starship Troopers asked if it made sense to put a barrier in front of voting. This says "I'm a middle aged man in the wrong career and don't know how to get out."

[oblakom]

Initial setting: An airless moon of an orange gas giant in a series of domed buildings connected by tunnels.

Have you noticed, by the way, how the first scene is that of a very open, external observation of the landscape but the rest of the book is strictly in Kira's pov? It's very cinematographic, but I personally don't think it makes much sense.


This is treated, by Kira, as a minor nuisance she doesn’t want to deal with.

Such a passionate xenobiologis, is she? XD


...I'll be honest. I read the whole extract and I kept glancing at how much I have left to read. There are books that make you fly through 700 pages with such easiness that you feel like you read 10 and you want more, and then there is this book that gave you 100 pages and made you feel like you read 10.000. It just doesn't catch your attention, and Paolini is unable to handle all the characters he tossed inside the story in first chapters.

It gets a bit better after Kira remains alone, but not that much. And I find the... Pfff... the "Soft Blade" boring.

[epistler]

Such a passionate xenobiologis, is she? XD

And then once she discovers the nanobot powder stuff she suddenly does a 180 and gets all excited about what a career opportunity this is, and then gets angry when she loses the opportunity thanks to the eeeevil government. So much for wanting to quit all that noise and get married and settle down and have BEBBES.

[oblakom]

And then once she discovers the nanobot powder stuff she suddenly does a 180 and gets all excited about what a career opportunity this is

Not really, she gets excited about the fact that now she can write about her absolutely randomic, casual and undeserved discovery she didn't even study and wonn't even staudy any further and be rich and cozy for the rest of her life while sitting on her butt. I see the train of undeserved merits followed Paolini's characetrs here as well.


So much for wanting to quit all that noise and get married and settle down and have BEBBES.

I am still trying to understand "settle for what" and "quit what noise" because honestly. How young is she? 20? 25 at most? I suppose that, unless in this universe data don't get transferred to your brain like Pokémon's MN/MT she must have studied... Which leaves her to have conducted a whole of maximum 3-5 years of activity before getting tired. Good grief.

...And, as I wrote this, I realized that she actually had some sort of info-data actually downloaded in her her brain that can rewind things for her and give her informations about everything SO SHE PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN EARN HER FUCKING JOB. My god. Can these characters *earn* something for once?

[(Anonymous)]

Even with a data chip in her head, any space-faring federation, group, corporation, etc would still have to psychologically evaluate each individual. We saw this during the NASA test flights. There were plenty of men qualified for the job, but not all past the tests needed to endure space travel. Kira, with or without a chip, still wouldn't exude the kind of confidence I'd need to waste billions of dollar on sending her out to this facility. Imagine with the Enterprise was fully manned by neurotic, selfish, whiny officers? There's a reason they took their jobs seriously, because this was the flagship, and only the best made it on board. Even Barclay had his quirks, but still wouldn't be stupid enough to bleed all over the equipment and not sanitize it!

I wonder if Eragon will meet up with Kira

[(Anonymous)]

I just remembered. Didn't CP say this story takes place/possibly takes place in the future in the same universe as the IC? Is this to keep IC fans hooked? Or is CP trying to pull off a fantasy-scifi mixture like you see in a lot of 80s cartoons?
So far Kira comes off as Eragon with boobs. Will we be treated to the same psychotic behavior as Eragon? Will there be a male equivalent to Arya?
The way this story is written so far makes me wonder about CP's lifestyle and how honest he's been. Especially with all this talk of resources/labs. The guy lives in the middle of nowhere in Montana. I remember he would always boast about his knowledge of the outdoors/nature/food/building stuff. I also remember him posting about his own private workshop where he does metal/wood working. All the fans were gushing about what a rugged Montana mountain man he was. We can't forget how he loves to tell that story of his humble beginnings. Especially the part where he talks about how his family almost went homeless/hungry if they hadn't lucked out with the book deal. You would think stuff like this would show up in his writing and world building. Instead it comes off as completely sheltered and unaware. It's also obvious he has no experience with work or interacting with people.
So...how much was exaggerated or just made up?
He really should have made this book YA. It really reads like one. Kira comes off as the typical YA Sue. If this is the best CP can do for both female characters and romance, it's EXTREMELY OBVIOUS he has no experience with either. In Eragon, it was easy to understand. He was young and sheltered. He had no experience like alot of young people. But now...the man is approaching 40....>~>;;;

Re: I wonder if Eragon will meet up with Kira

[cmdrnemo]

I think he said no to the same universe as Eragon in an AMA. The hard science angle was him arguing this story takes place in the real future of our real universe.

I spent a year semi-retired. Massive downturn in my industry, had just enough residual income to pay my bills if I avoided spending any money. So I worked on little projects in the shop and took up writing as a hobby. I learned a lot of useless neat facts, nothing about life that year. He might have given himself a lifetime of that. Or not. I don't know. Some people are bad at expressing themselves in writing. Some of those people put out multi million word stories on fanfiction.net. Others get massive book deals.