Spork: Eragon Movie article
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antishurtugal_reborn I found this article about what Fox should do to make a sucessful Eragon movie- and a couple minutes into reading the article, I was internally screaming. So, being the person that I am, I decided to spork it. The article can be found here: http://www.shurtugal.com/2015/03/20/what-does-fox-need-to-do-to-remake-a-successful-eragon-movie-part-one/
Fox stumbled with Eragon and the mistakes cost them a franchise.
Which they obviously didn't want anyway.
Before we dive deeper into these mistakes and how those mistakes led to the demise of the film, we’re going to explore the more important question: If the Eragon movie is rebooted, what does Fox need to do to get it right?
Totally revamp everything. I'm serious. They need to cut 90% of the traveling part, and build the story from the ground up. One of the things they should keep are the Ra'zac, but they should make them less obviously evil, and more competent. My suggestions are to have them present in the prologue, and almost kill Eragon with their paralysis ability. They should stay for the whole movie, as well.
We recently asked fans on Facebook what they think needs to be done to get it right. We’re coupling some of the best responses with ideas and analysis of our own.
And I'm analyzing your analysis.
Reboot the series
Please no, things are bad enough already.
It’s been nearly a decade since the Eragon movie was released. Since then, the final two books in the Cycle hit store shelves (and the series as a whole expanded from a trilogy to a cycle), revealing just how far the film strayed from the overall plot. It isn’t hard to imagine that future films would have been hard, if not impossible, to produce, given how drastic the differences were and how those changes would have majorly affected the film series’ plot.
Well, I've got to give them that. However, they could've gone in any direction, given how generic both the books and the film are. Also, I wonder if the producers intentionally made it bad. I'm not sure, but they were definately cynical about it. They knew it was a plagarized mess. It's surprising they actually got even a usable product out of that thing.
In addition to a derailed plot, the film’s cast has aged and moved on. These actors have forged new paths and found success elsewhere. It’s very unlikely any of them would consider revisiting the project. It’s also hard to ignore the cast’s contribution to the film’s demise. There’s no denying that each of the film’s actors are incredibly talented individuals, but many of them simply did not fit the character they were cast to portray, leading to issues in the film.
Well, yeah. Jeremy Irons was pretty good, but the acting in that movie was quite bad. However, you have to consider what they were working with.
Audiences have moved on, too. Ten years later, it’s unlikely that many moviegoers would remember Eragon. Picking up where it left off would confuse those who watch the movie, and judging by the film’s reviews, it wouldn’t please many either.
Many have actually moved on from the books as well. There isn't a big enough fanbase to cater to to make this worth doing. Eragon's not really a big draw internationally either.
That leaves us with one option: a full reboot. What would this encompass? An entirely new screenplay, cast, and production crew. They would be starting from the ground up, offering them an opportunity to correct the mistakes of the past and create a film beloved by fans and a new audience.
I think they should start from the ground up too, but what I have in mind won't please many fans. Also, this is a catch-22. If they make it faithful to the book, they won't attract a new audience, since Eragon has draw as a light read, and because of the enthusism. If they change a lot of things, they'll piss off the fans. Even if they make it faithful, the fans might still be angry because what sounds okay in a book may look absolutely stupid on a screen.
Get Christopher involved
Hahahahahaha! *Snort* Oh wait, you're serious. BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
It’s pretty clear that Christopher wasn’t consulted as closely as he needed to be, or even at all, during production. Many mistakes could have been avoided, including plot deviations that would have a substantial impact on future films.
Ok, no one would want to see an Eldest film.
No one knows the universe better than Christopher, and leaving that resource untapped was a major mistake.
Really? Is that why there is no many no comments, maybes, and plot holes? Paolini gets questions wrong, as in the infamous "Lethrblaka don't have tails instance, and he clearly has no plans for another book. They should actually get Anya or Epistler on board, because they clearly have talent, and they're writing much better sequels than Paolini ever could.
Films such as Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and Fault in Our Stars worked closely with their authors to ensure that the story and the world were successfully translated to the big screen. When changes were needed, the author was consulted. In Fault’s case, the author was invited to live on set during filming.
A couple differences, those authors actually had at least some talent, and there's no evidence that they would be difficuly to work with. (Just look at Paolini's treatment of his editors.)
By looking ahead, planning for long-term plotlines, and understanding the implications of seemingly minor plot points, the team will enjoy a story that flows and a happy fan community.
The story flows about as well as a pile of dung. Also, if you have a happy fan community, you'll have unhappy feminists, Social Justice Activists, and people who like decent movies.
Consider splitting the books into more than four films
I'm obviously hallucinating right now, because no one would ever write this. Right? Right?
The decision to split final books such as Mockingjay, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and Allegiance were met with skepticism and anger by fans. Mockingjay part one and Deathly Hallows part one were both plagued by a sense of a slow, unfulfilled plot – something audiences and critics immediately noticed.
Like the whole IC, then.
However, there may simply be too much plot within the four books to successfully tell the story in just four movies.
I shouldn't have eaten those olives. I knew they smelled funny.
Five, or even six, films may be required to tell the stories in Eldest, Brisingr, and Inheritance, and that’s okay.
*Takes a shot.*
To do this successfully, however, will require care to ensure that each film feels like a full movie in its own right and maintains proper pacing.
*Takes another shot.*
By carefully analyzing the need for this change and avoiding decisions solely based on profit, Fox may be able to successfully split one or more books into multiple movies, allowing for a better-paced franchise.
*Chugs.* I think that may be too muceheirkjgmkdfsijugyrrfhujikl,.;/.
You know what? I think an accurate Eragon movie, with a few changes, can be made.
15 minutes can be of Brom beating the crap out of Eragon with a large stick.
30 minutes can be of them traveling.
The Ra'zac's disappearance is explained. They're just taking an anachronistic coffee break, and talking about how they'll retire in two weeks so they don't have to be in this idiot fantasy land anymore.
Ra'zac: Two weeksssss till Florida.
Fox stumbled with Eragon and the mistakes cost them a franchise.
Which they obviously didn't want anyway.
Before we dive deeper into these mistakes and how those mistakes led to the demise of the film, we’re going to explore the more important question: If the Eragon movie is rebooted, what does Fox need to do to get it right?
Totally revamp everything. I'm serious. They need to cut 90% of the traveling part, and build the story from the ground up. One of the things they should keep are the Ra'zac, but they should make them less obviously evil, and more competent. My suggestions are to have them present in the prologue, and almost kill Eragon with their paralysis ability. They should stay for the whole movie, as well.
We recently asked fans on Facebook what they think needs to be done to get it right. We’re coupling some of the best responses with ideas and analysis of our own.
And I'm analyzing your analysis.
Reboot the series
Please no, things are bad enough already.
It’s been nearly a decade since the Eragon movie was released. Since then, the final two books in the Cycle hit store shelves (and the series as a whole expanded from a trilogy to a cycle), revealing just how far the film strayed from the overall plot. It isn’t hard to imagine that future films would have been hard, if not impossible, to produce, given how drastic the differences were and how those changes would have majorly affected the film series’ plot.
Well, I've got to give them that. However, they could've gone in any direction, given how generic both the books and the film are. Also, I wonder if the producers intentionally made it bad. I'm not sure, but they were definately cynical about it. They knew it was a plagarized mess. It's surprising they actually got even a usable product out of that thing.
In addition to a derailed plot, the film’s cast has aged and moved on. These actors have forged new paths and found success elsewhere. It’s very unlikely any of them would consider revisiting the project. It’s also hard to ignore the cast’s contribution to the film’s demise. There’s no denying that each of the film’s actors are incredibly talented individuals, but many of them simply did not fit the character they were cast to portray, leading to issues in the film.
Well, yeah. Jeremy Irons was pretty good, but the acting in that movie was quite bad. However, you have to consider what they were working with.
Audiences have moved on, too. Ten years later, it’s unlikely that many moviegoers would remember Eragon. Picking up where it left off would confuse those who watch the movie, and judging by the film’s reviews, it wouldn’t please many either.
Many have actually moved on from the books as well. There isn't a big enough fanbase to cater to to make this worth doing. Eragon's not really a big draw internationally either.
That leaves us with one option: a full reboot. What would this encompass? An entirely new screenplay, cast, and production crew. They would be starting from the ground up, offering them an opportunity to correct the mistakes of the past and create a film beloved by fans and a new audience.
I think they should start from the ground up too, but what I have in mind won't please many fans. Also, this is a catch-22. If they make it faithful to the book, they won't attract a new audience, since Eragon has draw as a light read, and because of the enthusism. If they change a lot of things, they'll piss off the fans. Even if they make it faithful, the fans might still be angry because what sounds okay in a book may look absolutely stupid on a screen.
Get Christopher involved
Hahahahahaha! *Snort* Oh wait, you're serious. BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
It’s pretty clear that Christopher wasn’t consulted as closely as he needed to be, or even at all, during production. Many mistakes could have been avoided, including plot deviations that would have a substantial impact on future films.
Ok, no one would want to see an Eldest film.
No one knows the universe better than Christopher, and leaving that resource untapped was a major mistake.
Really? Is that why there is no many no comments, maybes, and plot holes? Paolini gets questions wrong, as in the infamous "Lethrblaka don't have tails instance, and he clearly has no plans for another book. They should actually get Anya or Epistler on board, because they clearly have talent, and they're writing much better sequels than Paolini ever could.
Films such as Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and Fault in Our Stars worked closely with their authors to ensure that the story and the world were successfully translated to the big screen. When changes were needed, the author was consulted. In Fault’s case, the author was invited to live on set during filming.
A couple differences, those authors actually had at least some talent, and there's no evidence that they would be difficuly to work with. (Just look at Paolini's treatment of his editors.)
How can they get Christopher more involved? There are a few ways:
With enough dropped plot threads to ensnare the Titantic.
Let Christopher write the script. Before embarking on his upcoming scifi novel, Christopher wrote a screenplay for a science fiction movie. He has the know-how and experience to tackle such a project, and he knows the world better than anyone else. This would ensure that the core elements of the book remain the same, that the plot and characters translate well, and that any necessary changes work go over well with the audience and aid the film’s overall plot.
Hell no. Just look at how long and bloated his book are. You cannot have that with a movie script. Unless...
Producer: Chris, this is 200 pages and only half of the book. It's way too long.
Ken Paolini *Looms in the shadows with a spiked bat, while tapping it menacingly. Inheritance fans surround him.*: You said it was too long. We don't like those words.
Producer: *steps back*
Consult with him every step of the way, from screenplay writing to casting and set design. Get his blessing on changes, ask for his input, and bounce ideas off of him. Pick his brain on the intricacies of the world. Take advantage of that resource!
Again, no. Chris's scenes do not make sense spacially. He would be horrible at visualizing movie scenes. Also, what intricacies?
Invite Christopher to visit or live on set. Having him around for suggestions and ideas would certainly help the production stay true to the series.
The thing is, you don't want to be true to the series. And you don't need more ideas to make the books more bloated.
Assemble a team passionate about the story, characters, and world
Chris's mom probably doesn't know how to make a movie.
It is critical to have a writer, producer, and director who are passionate about the work they are adapting. Marvel films, Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and Game of Thrones all have this in common, and each has succeeded in translating the series to the big screen.
Sigh. The experienced people out there will be able to recognize the pile of trash that the IC is.
Passion for the source material will resonate with readers, moviegoers, and ultimately lend itself to a powerful, enjoyable, and successful film. It isn’t hard to fall in love with Alagaësia, its inhabitants, and the story Christopher created, and we know the right team is out there for this adaptation.
Umm, every Anti-Shirt and I beg to differ. The only reason Aglag has some draw is because Chris cribbed it from Middle-Earth. And it's hard to like people who would be in a maximum-security prison in real life. The only inhabitants I really liked were the Ra'zac.
Hire a director and writer with experience in bringing a book world to life.
I agree, but where are they going to find one? No one with any sense would touch that project with a 10 foot pole.
The first film’s director, Stefan Fangmeier, had never directed a film. He is a talented visual effects artist, having spent many years at Industrial Light and Magic, the studio founded to do the CGI for the Star Wars films, and while the film required heavy CGI, it didn’t require a CGI wiz at the helm. We believe his lack of experience behind the camera negatively impacted the film. An epic fantasy film with a massive budget should be trusted to a director experienced with bringing such a world to life.
You're going to need a really skilled director to turn this into something passable.
Should the franchise be rebooted, the production team doesn’t need to worry about the unknown. The series is finished and we’re sure Christopher would be eager to answer any questions the team behind a film had to ask.
Hell no. Just look at how long and bloated his book are. You cannot have that with a movie script. Unless...
Producer: Chris, this is 200 pages and only half of the book. It's way too long.
Ken Paolini *Looms in the shadows with a spiked bat, while tapping it menacingly. Inheritance fans surround him.*: You said it was too long. We don't like those words.
Producer: *steps back*
Consult with him every step of the way, from screenplay writing to casting and set design. Get his blessing on changes, ask for his input, and bounce ideas off of him. Pick his brain on the intricacies of the world. Take advantage of that resource!
Again, no. Chris's scenes do not make sense spacially. He would be horrible at visualizing movie scenes. Also, what intricacies?
Invite Christopher to visit or live on set. Having him around for suggestions and ideas would certainly help the production stay true to the series.
The thing is, you don't want to be true to the series. And you don't need more ideas to make the books more bloated.
Assemble a team passionate about the story, characters, and world
Chris's mom probably doesn't know how to make a movie.
It is critical to have a writer, producer, and director who are passionate about the work they are adapting. Marvel films, Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and Game of Thrones all have this in common, and each has succeeded in translating the series to the big screen.
Sigh. The experienced people out there will be able to recognize the pile of trash that the IC is.
Passion for the source material will resonate with readers, moviegoers, and ultimately lend itself to a powerful, enjoyable, and successful film. It isn’t hard to fall in love with Alagaësia, its inhabitants, and the story Christopher created, and we know the right team is out there for this adaptation.
Umm, every Anti-Shirt and I beg to differ. The only reason Aglag has some draw is because Chris cribbed it from Middle-Earth. And it's hard to like people who would be in a maximum-security prison in real life. The only inhabitants I really liked were the Ra'zac.
Hire a director and writer with experience in bringing a book world to life.
I agree, but where are they going to find one? No one with any sense would touch that project with a 10 foot pole.
The first film’s director, Stefan Fangmeier, had never directed a film. He is a talented visual effects artist, having spent many years at Industrial Light and Magic, the studio founded to do the CGI for the Star Wars films, and while the film required heavy CGI, it didn’t require a CGI wiz at the helm. We believe his lack of experience behind the camera negatively impacted the film. An epic fantasy film with a massive budget should be trusted to a director experienced with bringing such a world to life.
You're going to need a really skilled director to turn this into something passable.
Don’t use a large budget as a crutch
First of all, the IC does not deserve a large budget. Second of all, there are no "big ideas" in the cycle. Third of all, who the hell would pour money into this thing?
Don’t stray far from the books
Ummm...
The unfortunate reality of book-to-movie adaptations is that changes need to be made. In some cases, events in a novel may not translate well to the big scene.
Like the racism, the sexism...
We’ve seen such changes made to Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Lord of the Rings, and others. Most of these changes had the blessing of the authors, and in all of our examples (with the exception of Lord of the Rings, for obvious reasons), the authors worked closely with the production team to assist with those changes.
No way Chris will allow anything that he doesn't like happen to his Sue. (Otherwise known as "anything that would give the story conflict.)
Changes are inevitable, but good intentions, informed decisions, and proper care can help ensure that these changes stay true to the series and don’t detract from the heart of the story.
The story has no heart! The whole thing is a bunch of ideas and better books sewn together into a horrific Frankenstein's monster! (With all respect to Frakenstein's monster.)
Films do not need mega-budgets to be successful. Sure, a large war chest of cash will allow the production crew more freedom in exploring big ideas, but sometimes a large budget can get out of hand. Consider Transformers: the movies have a massive budget, and while they have found commercial appeal, the films’ quality is regularly panned by critics and audiences. Money is not an essential element in the creation of a successful film, but it certainly helps
First of all, the IC does not deserve a large budget. Second of all, there are no "big ideas" in the cycle. Third of all, who the hell would pour money into this thing?
Don’t stray far from the books
Ummm...
The unfortunate reality of book-to-movie adaptations is that changes need to be made. In some cases, events in a novel may not translate well to the big scene.
Like the racism, the sexism...
We’ve seen such changes made to Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Lord of the Rings, and others. Most of these changes had the blessing of the authors, and in all of our examples (with the exception of Lord of the Rings, for obvious reasons), the authors worked closely with the production team to assist with those changes.
No way Chris will allow anything that he doesn't like happen to his Sue. (Otherwise known as "anything that would give the story conflict.)
Changes are inevitable, but good intentions, informed decisions, and proper care can help ensure that these changes stay true to the series and don’t detract from the heart of the story.
The story has no heart! The whole thing is a bunch of ideas and better books sewn together into a horrific Frankenstein's monster! (With all respect to Frakenstein's monster.)
Look at the big picture
This one seems a bit obvious, but we’re left wondering if the team behind the original Eragon film read and understood Eldest before writing the screenplay.
No one wants to read about training and hairless groins.
Significant changes were made that would have affected the story in future films, and in some cases, would have entirely prevented or ruined major plot points, including the final battle,
copied from David Eddings and won by a Deus Ex Machina.
Roran’s story,
Boring/Horrific.
the lack of dwarves and elves,
The former are generic, and the latter are evil and creepy.
Angela’s role,
WHYYYY??!! No one wants to read about an annoying...
and missed characters such as Orik and Solembum.
Both unnecessary.
Christopher should have been consulted on future plotlines.
After the mess he made of the second to fourth books?
No one wants to read about training and hairless groins.
Significant changes were made that would have affected the story in future films, and in some cases, would have entirely prevented or ruined major plot points, including the final battle,
copied from David Eddings and won by a Deus Ex Machina.
Roran’s story,
Boring/Horrific.
the lack of dwarves and elves,
The former are generic, and the latter are evil and creepy.
Angela’s role,
WHYYYY??!! No one wants to read about an annoying...
and missed characters such as Orik and Solembum.
Both unnecessary.
Christopher should have been consulted on future plotlines.
After the mess he made of the second to fourth books?
Should the franchise be rebooted, the production team doesn’t need to worry about the unknown. The series is finished and we’re sure Christopher would be eager to answer any questions the team behind a film had to ask.
With enough dropped plot threads to ensnare the Titantic.
The story flows about as well as a pile of dung. Also, if you have a happy fan community, you'll have unhappy feminists, Social Justice Activists, and people who like decent movies.
Consider splitting the books into more than four films
I'm obviously hallucinating right now, because no one would ever write this. Right? Right?
The decision to split final books such as Mockingjay, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and Allegiance were met with skepticism and anger by fans. Mockingjay part one and Deathly Hallows part one were both plagued by a sense of a slow, unfulfilled plot – something audiences and critics immediately noticed.
Like the whole IC, then.
However, there may simply be too much plot within the four books to successfully tell the story in just four movies.
I shouldn't have eaten those olives. I knew they smelled funny.
Five, or even six, films may be required to tell the stories in Eldest, Brisingr, and Inheritance, and that’s okay.
*Takes a shot.*
To do this successfully, however, will require care to ensure that each film feels like a full movie in its own right and maintains proper pacing.
*Takes another shot.*
By carefully analyzing the need for this change and avoiding decisions solely based on profit, Fox may be able to successfully split one or more books into multiple movies, allowing for a better-paced franchise.
*Chugs.* I think that may be too muceheirkjgmkdfsijugyrrfhujikl,.;/.
You know what? I think an accurate Eragon movie, with a few changes, can be made.
15 minutes can be of Brom beating the crap out of Eragon with a large stick.
30 minutes can be of them traveling.
The Ra'zac's disappearance is explained. They're just taking an anachronistic coffee break, and talking about how they'll retire in two weeks so they don't have to be in this idiot fantasy land anymore.
Ra'zac: Two weeksssss till Florida.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-01 09:20 pm (UTC)1) Don't.
2) Go watch Dragonheart instead.
At least there in Dragonheart you get decent acting, decent dragon CGI with Draco, an actual plot and story, you actually like the characters and understand their motives, and Sean Connery is the voice of Draco. Besides that, there are themes that are easy to pick up and understand, and not everyone who is 'bad' is evil Just Because. At least as far as I remember the movie being. The original, mind you, not these random spinoffs.
Personally, I don't think another movie attempt should be made. Paolini hated cutting certain chapters from his books so much, I'd hate to see what he does with the movie script if it ever got into his hands. Would anything actually be cut? Would anything actually be changed? Or would it all be the same, just with different actors, music score, crew, and producers?
no subject
Date: 2020-07-01 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-02 10:18 am (UTC)SPOILER
where the dragon riders realise they're relying too much on their dragons and not enough on themselves, and that it's time to stop using the dragons as the solution to everything and let them go their separate ways. I mean can you even imagine Eragon ever doing that? Never mind growing as a person to the point where he's ready to accomplish things on his own merit/courage - he never so much as acknowledges that he's nothing without Saphira. And he sure as hell isn't going to voluntarily give up any of his special powerups/accessories, of which Saphira is the largest (the idea that they're somehow best pals can fuck all the way off).
no subject
Date: 2020-07-02 10:52 am (UTC)And speaking of the last How To Train Your Dragon movie...
(Spoiler ahead)
I really enjoyed at the very end of the movie where it's been at least ten years or so and Hiccup and Astrid take their kids to go see Toothless and his family. I liked the idea of it having been so long that Toothless was actually ready to attack Hiccup before he realized that it was his best friend. Hiccup seemed ready to accept the attack because he showed up unannounced, but he didn't resort to violence. He waited to see what Toothless would do. And then it was all okay because Toothless recognized him, which set the tone of "even though we've been apart for so long, you're still my best friend, and I love you".
There's none of that in Eragon. Except when we're told it happens. We're never shown it, unless we're supposed to accept the random hugs and pets as love.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-02 11:05 am (UTC)You don't get that with Eragon and Saphira. Instead she just hatches and is instantly bound to him forever. The getting-to-know-you stuff is barely present and happens offscreen, even though it's kind of necessary if you want to establish a believable relationship between characters. Instead she just spends most of the first book either absent or being a bitch to him, and then spends the rest of the series steadily fading more and more into the background to the point that when the final confrontation with Galby happens her contribution is... nothing.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-01 11:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-02 10:34 am (UTC)You wanna know the most likely reason why they ended up with a no-name first time director instead? Because the Peter Jacksons and the Del Toros and the David Yateses took one look at it and passed on the project because they all had too much common sense and good taste to want to waste any more of their time on it than that. Seriously, Jackson already directed LoTR. Why would he want to do it again with a vastly inferior knockoff?
Writing ONE screenplay means you are now qualified to write and produce a big budget Hollywoo movie?? HAHAHAHAHAH. I've written two screenplays, I'll have you know. Where's me red carpet and Oscar statue at?
Such as having his many extremely serious flaws acknowledged in text. Instead he should be allowed to do whatever the fuck he likes to other people and still be hailed as the most perfect guy ever.
Which is one of its biggest flaws. The emotional centre of things was supposed to be the Eragon/Saphira "friendship", but Paolini clearly has no idea how to convey a convincing friendship. They treat each other like shit, FFS. Indeed as the series goes on they seem to grow progressively less interested in each other.
Do they seriously think the Cycle has a big, complex plot? Because come on. A bunch of random crap happening does not constitute a coherent plot. Or indeed a plot, period.
The "plot" is literally just "hero gets super powers and teams up with generic rebels to fight generic evil". Everything else goes precisely nowhere and most of it is completely irrelevant. This person needs to pull their head out of their ass.
There isn't going to be a movie reboot, or a TV series. Live with it and move on.