Blue Brick Commentary
Jul. 29th, 2020 11:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mara_dienne459 posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
antishurtugal_rebornChapter Twenty-Four: A Taste of Teirm
This chapter opens with travel and Saphira spotting Teirm. Somehow Teirm seems to have a Cloak of Concealment in the way of fog, because neither Brom nor Eragon can see anything until a breeze blows the fog away and “suddenly” reveals Teirm in all its glory. It’s right by the sea, Eragon can see ships docked, and they’re close enough that they can hear the thunder of the waves breaking against the shore. Then we get a description of the city itself. It’s contained behind a white wall that Eragon can somehow tell is a hundred feet tall and thirty feet thick, with murder holes and arrow slits, and a walkway for soldiers. Then the random two gates show up, one toward the southern road and the other west, to the sea. Why there’s only two gates on what’s supposed to be a highly important trading hub, I don’t know.
Mara: Moreover, looking at the map, Teirm is terribly situated to be a trading hub. It’s out of the way and not exactly in a prime location to be the premier trading city. There’s nothing of importance there. It doesn’t have a “silk road” so to speak. It could possibly be a stopover type of city, where ships come in to resupply before they head off to somewhere like Feinster or Aroughs, and that would make more sense. But not as a major center of trade.
Beyond that, we’re also told the two entryways are guarded by iron portcullises, and above the wall is a huge citadel made of giant stones with turrets. The highest tower is actually a lighthouse, but since this story is being told through Eragon’s point of view, I’m not sure how he knows what a lighthouse is. The castle is the only thing visible over the wall. We’re told that there are soldiers at the southern gate, but apparently they’re either incompetent or bored, because they’re holding their pikes carelessly. Brom makes mention that getting past the guards will be their first test, and he hopes that they haven’t received reports and won’t detain them. He tells Eragon not to panic or act suspiciously.
Then a really weird conversation takes place between Eragon and Saphira.
Eragon told Saphira, You should land somewhere now and hide. We’re going in.
Sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. Again, she said sourly.
I know. But Brom and I do have some advantages most people don’t. We’ll be all right.
If anything happens, I’m going to pin you to my back and never let you off.
I love you too.
Then I will bind you all the tighter.
Can we stop for a second and talk about how creepy this exchange is? Saphira is acting like a jealous girlfriend that’s two seconds away from going psycho on Eragon. She’s basically telling him that if anything happens, whether it’s his fault or not, she’s going to bind him to her and keep him there, like he’s some sort of captive and she’s his jailer. Like that’s not a healthy relationship at all. That’s some kind of abuse going on there. And it’s even more creepy that she says she’ll bind him tighter after he tells her he loves her. Like what kind of psycho shit is that? Back the fuck off, Saphira. Although, to be fair, they’re bound together by magic, and Saphira decided she wanted him to be her Rider before they even had ample opportunity to get to know one another. So she’s already obsessive and overly-attached to him, while he’s pretty much indifferent to her. And he treats her like she’s some fancy steed to go from here, there, and yonder rather than a partner. There are numerous instances where Saphira will ask Eragon something - Can she eat this person, or knock this guy over - and he’ll answer “Not today” or “Not yet”, suggesting that she’s some mindless beast he can unleash whenever it suits him. Besides that, Eragon is the one in the limelight all the time, not Saphira. He’s the one doing all the significant things, not her. Even her one shining moment is there to be a distraction and not much else, and otherwise she spends her days languishing and waiting for attention. Never mind the fact that Saphira agrees with almost everything Eragon decides, and when she does disagree with him, he dismisses her opinion and does what he wants anyway, at least until he has some epiphany and decides he had a good idea, when really Saphira was trying to beat it into his head for five pages.
Eragon and Brom ride down to the gate, trying to appear casual. We’re given a description of a random pennant, which has no bearing on anything with the story. Eragon then asks:
“How big is this place?”
“Larger than any city you have ever seen,” said Brom.
What city has Eragon seen?! He hasn’t left the valley in his entire life! And as far as we know, he’s never seen any pictures or renderings, because the kid can’t read!
And then this idiocy happens:
At the entrance to Teirm, the guards stood straighter and blocked the gate with their pikes. “Wha’s yer name?” asked one of them in a bored tone.
“I’m called Neal,” said Brom in a wheezy voice, slouching to one side, an expression of happy idiocy on his face.
“And who’s th’ other one?” asked the guard.
“Well, I wus gettin’ to that. This’ed be m’nephew Evan. He’s m’sister’s boy, not a . . .”
The guard nodded impatiently. “Yeah, yeah. And yer business here?”
“He’s visitin’ an old friend,” supplied Eragon, dropping his voice into a thick accent. “I’m along t’ make sure he don’t get lost, if y’ get m’meaning. He ain’t as young as he used to be—had a bit too much sun when he was young’r. Touch o’ the brain fever, y’ know.” Brom bobbed his head pleasantly.
“Right. Go on through,” said the guard, waving his hand and dropping the pike. “Just make sure he doesn’t cause any trouble.”
Okay, pause. Are these guards stopping everyone and asking for their names and business in Teirm? Are Eragon and Brom the only travelers that have come in this morning? None of this makes sense! Eragon and Brom don’t look like merchants, although looks are deceiving, and the guards are doubtfully on a personal basis with everyone who lives in the city. They have nothing worth searching, either. Guards would not stop every freaking traveler entering or exiting the city unless they had cause to. If anything, this entire exchange draws more attention and scrutiny to them, because now those guards know their faces. Instead of just quietly passing through, or better yet, waiting for a wagon train or merchant, they just waltz right up and start a conversation. The best way to blend in is to be a face in the crowd, not jump up and down and scream “Look at me!” which is exactly what Brom and Eragon have done here.
Second, what the fuck is that accent? Not only is it freaking hard to read, but no one else they encounter here speaks that way. It makes sense that the guards would have a different accent than Eragon - they live in different places, and the manner of speech is different region to region - but that only works if everyone they encounter in this city speaks the same way.
Thirdly, wouldn’t the guards recognize that something’s a little off with this kid? How the hell can Eragon pick up and perfectly mimic an accent he’s only just heard five seconds before? Brom, sure, he’s been around, but Eragon? No fucking way. The guards ought to be insulted and Brom should be the one saying the boy’s got a touch of the brain fever.
--WARNING: the next paragraph contains some sensitive subject material and it is fully personal opinion, it is not meant to be in any way, shape, or form an accusation of the author --
Fourth, - and I’m again giving this warning, because there’s a trigger subject I’m about to touch on ahead - what the hell does Brom mean when he says “He's m’sister's boy, not a...”? Not a what? A slave? A sex slave? A child bride? A figment of the guard’s imagination? The way he trails off makes me think he’s trying to convince the guard Eragon’s not any of these, and he doesn’t do a good job of it. Of course, the guard doesn’t seem to be the most colorful crayon in the box, ‘cause he’s just like “Yeah, whatever, you wanna diddle a kid, go for it.” If Paolini was trying to introduce the idea of pedophilia, he failed miserably. It's such a vague line that it gets completely skipped over and there's no further mention of this line or this trigger subject again.
Now, I’m not saying it wasn’t a thing back in medieval times - it was, especially among the nobility and mostly with daughters, because marriages were made for political and monetary reasons, and the daughters were married off at 13, 14 years of age - but if you’re gonna introduce something that is a trigger, like rape, sex slaves, etc, then you need to do it with respect and tact, and not just randomly drop clues and hope your audience picks up what you’re putting down. These are serious subjects, and they need to be treated as such.
So Eragon promises that Brom won’t cause any trouble and they head into Teirm. Once they’re away from the guards, Brom expresses severe displeasure with Eragon’s lie, and Eragon gets cheeky and says he couldn’t let Brom have all the fun. We then get a description of the houses, the idea of which is kind of interesting, because they’re flat-roofed and designed to allow people to stand on the roofs to fire arrows and not kill their own guys. The buildings start off small next to the wall and then get progressively higher the further in, though nothing’s as big or as tall as the citadel. Eragon makes a comment that the place looks ready for war, and Brom says that Teirm has a history of being attacked by pirates (who don’t exist in this story) urgals (why? judging by the size of the wall it would be very daunting and wouldn’t win them much glory) and other enemies (such as...?). And despite being in a terrible place for it, it’s a center of commerce. The people who live here have had to take extraordinary measures to keep themselves safe. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt that the evil king has given over some of his own soldiers to help defend the city. I suppose you could argue that Teirm is financially important, and that’s why Galby chooses to defend Teirm, but I would say there are other, more lucrative, cities that would be better served.
Anyway, Eragon asks why some houses are higher than others, and Brom explains that this is so because, as I said earlier, archers could be posted on the roofs if the outer wall is breached (fun fact, it never is) and shoot over their buddies without fear of filling them with holes. Beyond that, if enemy archers were to ever capture those houses and put their own guys on them, it would be a simple matter to shoot them down. And now if you’re expecting an exciting battle for the fate of Teirm, like me, you’re going to be severely disappointed.
“I’ve never seen a city planned like this,” said Eragon in wonder.
You’ve never seen a city at all, you dolt!
Brom’s response to Eragon’s comment is that this was only done after Teirm was nearly burned down by a pirate raid (which we never hear about) and doesn’t make any sense because the logistics of a pirate ship being able to somehow break through a 100-foot high, 30-foot thick wall without something like a cannon (which doesn’t exist in this story, nor does black powder) is edging on impossible. They would have to get into the harbor, take the gate there, and then somehow get into the city without losing a single person, and supposing they had a sizable crew of... well, a galleon ship could hold 500 people... they’d still be outnumbered at least three to one by Teirm’s garrison plus the added soldiers. So unless we’re saying that Teirm was nearly destroyed when the elves lived there, before the wall was built, by elf pirates, that makes sense. Because elf pirates wouldn’t need cannons or black powder if they had access to magic. Anyway, they continue up the street and Eragon notices people looking at them, but no one’s giving them an undue amount of interest.
Compared to our reception at Daret, we’ve been welcomed with open arms. Perhaps Teirm has escaped notice by the Urgals, thought Eragon. He changed his opinion when a large man shouldered past them, a sword hanging from his waist. There were other, subtler signs of adverse times: no children played in the streets, people bore hard expressions, and many houses were deserted, with weeds growing from cracks in their stone-covered yards.
Just because people are going around armed doesn’t mean they’re worried about urgal attacks. Brom just got done telling him about pirate attacks. Although, I don’t think it matters, because pirates don’t exist in this story.
Eragon says something about the people having trouble, and Brom just shrugs it off and says they need to find Jeod. They find The Random Tavern that always appears in fantasy novels, and they go inside.
The dingy room felt unsafe. A fire smoldered in the fireplace, yet no one bothered to throw more wood on it. A few lonely people in the corners nursed their drinks with sullen expressions. A man missing two fingers sat at a far table, eyeing his twitching stumps. The bartender had a cynical twist to his lips and held a glass in his hand that he kept polishing, even though it was broken.
Brom leaned against the bar and asked, “Do you know where we can find a man called Jeod?” Eragon stood at his side, fiddling with the tip of his bow by his waist. It was slung across his back, but right then he wished that it were in his hands.
Yeah, because walking into a dingy bar that feels unsafe armed is always a good idea. Also, Jeod’s a merchant, right? Why are they looking for information about him in some dive bar? Wouldn’t make more sense to go to the merchant quarter or shopping district? Especially since you’re only looking for where he lives, not his place of business or information that would actually be worth a damn. I mean, how popular is Jeod that his name would be known by people in the underground? Are these people on first name basis with all the merchants that live in Teirm?
The bartender said in an overly loud voice, “Now, why would I know something like that? Do you think I keep track of the mangy louts in this forsaken place?” Eragon winced as all eyes turned toward them.
All eyes, but there are only five people in the entire place, including the bartender. Which... nope, he gets a name in three paragraphs. Damn, almost.
Brom then bribes the bartender into giving away the information, and the bartender shows just how sleazy he is by demanding more to get his memory to work. Brom doesn’t bother to argue or leave, he just gives the guy more money. The bartender finally starts to reach for the coins when the man missing two fingers shouts out the bartender’s name and asks why he’s charging them when any Tom, Dick, or Harry on the street could give them the information they want for free. Brom takes back his coins and the bartender has a temper tantrum. Brom heads over to the stranger and without being asked gives the guy his and Eragon’s fake names. sighs Why? If no one asks you for names, why would you give them? Is there something I’m missing here? Some code of polite conduct in Alagag that everyone follows?
The man raised his mug to them. “Martin, and of course you met Gareth.” His voice was deep and rough. Martin gestured at some empty chairs. “Go ahead and sit down. I don’t mind.” Eragon took a chair and arranged it so his back was to the wall and he faced the door. Martin raised an eyebrow, but made no comment.
Can you be any more obvious, Eragon? You’re supposed to not draw attention to yourself, which you’ve failed to do, quite spectacularly, I might add.
There’s some talk and then Martin tells them that Jeod is on the west side of down, right next to the most annoying character in the entire story. He asks if Brom has business with Jeod, to which Brom replies in the affirmative, sort of, and Martin the Overly Helpful says Jeod won’t be interested in buying anything because he just lost another ship a few days ago.
Brom latched onto the news with interest. “What happened? It wasn’t Urgals, was it?”
Why are we always blaming the urgals for shit that happens? He lost a ship and you automatically assume it’s urgals? Was the ship docked somewhere they frequent? Have the urgals suddenly become a seafaring race? When I think “the ship was lost”, it’s either pirates or bad weather, not some land-bound race that isn’t known for their sailing skills.
Martin says no, it wasn’t the urgals. No one’s seen the likes of them in a year, in fact. He then gives a soliloquy about how most of Teirm’s business is through sea trade (though with who besides Surda remains a mystery) but several months ago, someone started attacking ships. It isn’t piracy because only the ships of certain merchants are attacked. Jeod’s one of them. The other merchants are never mentioned. It’s so bad, though, that no captain will accept their goods for fear of losing his ship and life. Which makes perfect sense to me. So the merchants are being forced to send goods by land, which has made costs painfully high and the caravans don’t always make it. Brom insists there must be witnesses, but no, because someone’s read his Evil Overlord’s Handbook and has ensured that there are no witnesses. Magic, therefore, is being blamed. Brom wants to know what Martin thinks, and Martin doesn’t know and doesn’t really care unless he’s unfortunate enough to be on one of those unlucky ships.
“Are you a sailor?” asked Eragon.
“No,” snorted Martin. “Do I look like one? The captains hire me to defend their ships against pirates. And those thieving scum haven’t been very active lately. Still, it’s a good job.”
He’s a mercenary. And the only one in existence, apparently. And this is some nice exposition, but all it really does is serve to set up the character about to make her grand (and annoying) appearance in the next chapter.
“But a dangerous one,” said Brom. Martin shrugged again and downed the last of his beer. Brom and Eragon took their leave and headed to the west side of the city, a nicer section of Teirm. The houses were clean, ornate, and large. The people in the streets wore expensive finery and walked with authority. Eragon felt conspicuous and out of place.
This is a really hard way to stop a chapter. Super awkward. And why are the people in this district any different from the people who live in the “poor” district? Anyone can walk with authority. Why would Eragon feel out of place here? He was just complaining that he didn’t feel safe five seconds ago. You were far more conspicuous in the tavern than you ever were on the street, kid.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-30 04:49 am (UTC)XD That is so clumsy and heavy-handed, I laughed when I read it.
"He’s m’sister’s boy, not a . . ."
I have no clue what Paolini thinks he was hinting at. Sex slave seems awfully dark and his 'sources' generally don't touch subjects like that as far as I know. The more innocent ideas is a bodyguard. Still. It puzzles me greatly as to what he was hinting at. To be fair, I've read over my rough drafts and if it wasn't my own, I'd wonder what kind of crazy glue battery acid the author was smoking at the time.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-30 06:05 am (UTC)Me too. Could you possibly be any more obvious, Chris?
Neither do I. It's entirely possible that it wasn't supposed to mean anything in particular, and that he never had an ending for that sentence in mind. By now he's probably forgotten entirely, which is understandable.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-30 06:02 am (UTC)First of all if it is young'r then it should be fev'r not fever. There is also the t', to, too thing. Also, that paragraph would instantly make me suspicious. Brom and Eragon are both armed. I don't know who the guards are supposed to stop but an armed guy with a look of "idiocy" whose companion says he has "brain fever" from "too much sun" seems like someone who should be stopped.
Also, what is that "he's my sister's boy not a ..." I don't know what else that could possibly mean and the way Brom says it makes it look like he is embarrassed about being Eragon's lover. When I travel with my uncle's none of them ever say this. Assuming the guards even care about the relationship between the two just say "he's my nephew" when they ask. Explaining it right away when no one asks makes it look like you are lying. What kind of mind does Brom have when he assumes two obviously bored uninterested guards are believing something about him and Eragon he has to deny before the question is even asked? A guilty mind, that is what kind.
For example, Imagine you just met me. I say, "My name's Edward. I paid for this jacket, I didn't steal it." See what I mean?