Red Brick Commentary

[mara_dienne459]

Where Eragon gets schooled in magic by a petulant brat, there's another date with Arya, and Orik shows back up for the first time in however many chapters.


 Chapter Forty: Black Morning Glory

 

This chapter opens immediately where the last one left off. Eragon and Oromis go and clean the dishes they used for lunch, and then it’s time for a writing lesson. Eragon’s happy about that because it’s easy and it doesn’t strain his back.

 

After hours spent bent over the paper sheets, Oromis waved a hand and said, “Enough. We will continue this tomorrow.” Eragon leaned back and rolled his shoulders while Oromis selected five scrolls from their nooks in the wall. “Two of these are in the ancient language, three are in your native tongue. They will help you to master both alphabets, as well as give you valuable information that would be tedious for me to vocalize.” 

 

In other words, Oromis is being lazy and giving him homework. All the information that Oromis deems “tedious” are things like the history of the races, the history of Alagaesia, botany, and other things that I guess the Riders were taught but nothing that would have any bearing on what Eragon needs to know to kill Galbatorix. But instead of going over this in huge paragraphs of flowery description, we just get told Eragon’s reading this stuff because Oromis doesn’t feel like talking about it. What a great teacher. 

 

Eragon questions Oromis on the vocalize part, so Oromis snatches a dictionary and gives it to him. He says Eragon should try to read it all but Oromis doubts his ability to do so. Then he dismisses Eragon, but he’s not ready to leave yet, because he has an important question to ask.

 

“When will we start working with magic?”

 

Oromis leaned on one arm against the doorway, caving in on himself as if he no longer possessed the will to remain upright. Then he sighed and said, “You must trust me to guide your training, Eragon. Still, I suppose it would be foolish of me to delay any longer. Come, leave the scrolls on the table, and let us go explore the mysteries of gramarye.” 

 

Trust me to guide your training, but let’s just ignore everything I just said and give in to your whining and do what you want to do. Not that Eragon was whining, mind you. He just asked a simple question that deserved a simple answer, not all these theatrics. The fact that Oromis “caves in on himself” makes me feel like he’s super annoyed by Eragon’s question and is rolling his eyes at this kid, like “Why, god, did you stick me with this idiot?” But instead of just giving Eragon a simple answer, like “When I deem it’s time”, Oromis is like, “Fiiiiine. Let’s do this so you’ll stop bothering me about it, gawd.” It’s little wonder Eragon turns into the asshole he does, if these are the attitudes he’s getting from the people who are supposed to be his masters and experts in the crafts he needs to know to be a Rider. Not a good Rider, or a great Rider, just a Rider.

 

So they go outside and Oromis poses the “what is magic” question that seems to be the theme of this book due to how often it gets brought up by random characters. Eragon answers, and Oromis says he’s right... technically. Then he goes on to explain magic and exposits that a limited vocabulary is no obstacle to using magic, but you still need to have a particularly high intellect and discipline.

 

“Brom bypassed the normal training regimen and ignored the subtleties of gramarye to ensure that you had the skills you needed to remain alive. I too must distort the regimen in order to focus on the skills that you will likely require in the coming battles. However, whereas Brom taught you the crude mechanics of magic, I will teach you its finer applications, the secrets that were reserved for the wisest of the Riders: how you can kill with no more energy than moving your finger, the method by which you can instantaneously transport an item from one point to another, a spell that will allow you to identify poisons in your food and drink, a variation on scrying that allows you to hear as well as to see, how you can draw energy from your surroundings and thus preserve your own strength, and how you can maximize your strength in every possible way. 

 

I enjoy how Oromis describes all this, but we only ever see two or three of these, and I’m fairly confident that the method of killing by twitching your little finger is never used. The poison thing is used only in practice with Oromis and never in actual situations, and the item thing is only talked about when Eragon asks how Arya did it in Book Three. And Eragon never learns to maximize his strength, so that’s a moot point. I really hate how mechanics are introduced into this story but we only ever get to see half-assed versions of them or they never make an appearance.

 

He goes on to say that the techniques are so potent and dangerous that they weren’t taught to novices, but these are special circumstances now, because of course they are. So Oromis summons a water ball and tells Eragon to catch it. Eragon takes him at face value and tries to catch the water ball with his bare hands. He gets wet as a result. Oromis has to point out he needs to catch it with magic, so he lobs another water ball at him. Eragon does so this time with a three word sentence that stops the ball a hairsbreadth away from his palm. Oromis calls Eragon’s word choice awkward but workable. Eragon then gets cocky and sends the ball speeding toward the back of Oromis’s head, because Oromis is standing with his back to Eragon. Not that the preceding text is clear about that, save for a single line where Oromis tosses the water ball “back over his shoulder”. Anyway, the ball doesn’t connect to Oromis’s head; rather it avoids him entirely and swings back toward Eragon, whereupon it clunks him in the head, knocks him to the ground, and it’s pretty clear now that Eragon has suffered some brain damage. Oromis then suggests a couple other words that would’ve sufficed and wouldn’t have been near as long as the three word sentence Eragon used, turns around and tells Eragon to get up and stop being lazy. Once Eragon does so, Oromis starts making him manipulate the water in various ways.

 

The exercises continued for so long that Eragon’s initial interest faded and was replaced by impatience and puzzlement. He was chary of offending Oromis, but he saw no point to what the elf was doing; it was as if Oromis were avoiding any spells that would require him to use more than a minimal amount of strength. I’ve already demonstrated the extent of my skills. Why does he persist in reviewing these fundamentals? He said, “Master, I know all of this. Can we not move on?” 

 

Impatient little brat isn’t he? I really don’t understand this. He’s been told twice that he needs to trust Oromis’s judgment in how to carry out his training. He got what he wanted - training in magic - but now he’s complaining about it. How stupid can this kid be? Can he not read the emotion of the room? Can he not hold his tongue? Does he not think about what he says before he says it? Like... come on, kid! You’ve already pushed the guy into exasperation with you already. Learn some tact!

 

Oromis gets pissed off and attacks Eragon by catching his legs in an invisible trap. He then tells Eragon to free himself. Eragon realizes he’s been a complete dunderhead because he’s never had to counter other people’s spellwork. We get an explanation as to how he can accomplish this task and what method would be the best idea for him to use. One is simply redirecting the forces working on him and thus make the spell disappear; the other is a battle of wills, a direct contest of strength. Eragon’s smart enough to realize he’d never win in that arena. So he goes with option number one. In doing so, he makes himself so tired that he about falls over when Oromis’s spell vanishes. Oromis lectures him then on using absolutes, which is explained as wording a spell so that there are only two outcomes - absolutely victory or absolute death. There’s an exposition on how to avoid such a thing and making counterspell-work a process, so Oromis and Eragon practice that method. Oromis then has an attack of his mysterious malady and has to walk away for some Me Time.

 

Regret and sorrow welled in Eragon—the same emotions that had gripped him when he first saw Glaedr’s mutilated foreleg. He cursed himself for being so arrogant with Oromis, so oblivious to his infirmities, and for not placing more confidence in the elf’s judgment. I’m not the only one who must deal with past injuries. Eragon had not fully comprehended what it meant when Oromis said that all but the slightest magic escaped his grasp. Now he appreciated the depths of Oromis’s situation and the pain that it must cause him, especially for one of his race, who was born and bred with magic. 

 

Yep. Only after he pisses off Oromis and forces the guy to teach him a lesson in humility that Eragon should already possess, does Eragon realize how much he fucked up. Not before, when warning signs were being blasted into his ears and eyes, but only now, after Oromis looks like a withered plant and has to walk away for some “me time”. This is your hero everyone! This is your hero, who goes through these “I shouldn’t be so selfish” arcs time and time again and never changes. Also, mind you, this character is sixteen now. He has no excuse for acting like a ten year old. He has so much responsibility on his shoulders, you’d think he has the maturity to go along with it, or is at least learning that maturity, but he’s not. Everything is about him, and he doesn’t care whom he hurts so long as he gets his way. It’s only after he gets his way that he realizes “oops” and then tries to make it all better. 

 

Eragon goes and kneels behind Oromis and begs his forgiveness, but Oromis ignores him. They stay this way for hours until Saphira and Glaedr show back up. Only then does Oromis say that they’ll keep going tomorrow and that Eragon should now speak in the ancient language all the time. Apparently speaking in only the ancient language is the fastest way for Eragon to learn it. I somehow doubt that. I took four years of German and Spanish in high school but I can’t speak either language well enough to save my life, no matter how much practice I got in. I also had teachers that dedicated themselves to pronunciation and sentence structure and whether a verb goes before a noun and whether a word was a certain tense or if it was masculine or feminine. They didn’t hand me a dictionary and say “You’re on your own.” I can understand the languages because of that work, but I can’t speak either language beyond a few words to get my point and intent across. 

 

Eragon asks if he needs to speak thusly even when talking with Saphira, Oromis says yes, and then Eragon switches into the AL and talks pretty freaking fluently already. Oromis then says that Eragon will also head to the practice field in the morning where he’ll stay for an hour to practice swordplay. What this has to do with Eragon’s lessons with magic or being a Rider or killing Galby I really don’t know. Eragon gets upset and asks why Oromis won’t teach him himself, and Oromis kisses his ass by saying he’s such a good swordsman there’s nothing else Oromis can do for him in that arena. Eragon presses the subject, and Oromis answers:

 

“Because I do not appreciate beginning the day with alarum and conflict.” He looked at Eragon, then relented and added, “And because it will be good for you to become acquainted with others who live here. I am not representative of my race. But enough of that. Look, they approach.” 

 

Basically, what I get is that Oromis is lazy, and he wants to sleep in, and he doesn’t want to take the time to be a proper teacher. I mean, he gives Eragon books to read, forces him to speak in the ancient language 24/7, leads him in discourse that goes nowhere, barely teaches him in any lesson he gives to Eragon, and yet expects Eragon to be at a level that he can’t achieve without the proper instruction. Like nothing Oromis does prepares Eragon for what he’s about to do, see, or hear. He isn’t preparing Eragon for the horrors of war, or to kill people. He isn’t giving him the psychological tools he’ll need to see himself through the horror show he’s about to embark on. He isn’t even training him to kill Galbatorix, which is what Eragon’s whole purpose is. And, more often than not, I feel like Oromis is measuring Eragon by the elf stick. And by that I mean Oromis is trying to treat Eragon like an elf, who was born knowing everything he needs to know about everything, and he isn’t taking the time to teach the kid in a way that Eragon can easily grasp. Of course, Eragon grasps it all anyway, because he’s the main character/self-insert, so he has to be absolutely perfect with few minor flaws, but still. I would hate being here if I were Eragon. I would feel like all this extra stuff is useless. It might be great when there was no war, but not when I need to know everything I can about combat and killing some guy I can’t even hold a candle to.

 

The two dragons finally land and the questioning of lessons begins. Of course they’re able to answer all the questions correctly, and their only problem is that their use of the AL as their primary language stumps them a couple of times. Glaedr praises them and then tells Eragon that they’ll have to train together soon. Eragon says:

 

“Of course, Skulblaka.” 

 

See, this is what I don’t understand. Eragon’s talking in the ancient language and yet he’s using the ancient language word for dragon. He can’t be talking in the ancient language and be using the ancient language word. That’s redundant. He’s literally saying “of course, dragon” in the ancient language, but is using the ancient language word for dragon. Why? This doesn’t make any sense!

 

Glaedr then heads toward Oromis because he’s done for the day, but Saphira apparently isn’t. She rushes forward, grabs the tip of Glaedr’s tail in her mouth and tosses it in the air. This pisses Glaedr off because he whips around and literally nearly bites her head off. Then he roars in her face. Eragon deduces that this isn’t the first time today Saphira’s made a nuisance of herself. Worse, Saphira doesn’t seem the least bit sorry for her behavior. Rather Eragon describes her feelings as “excited playfulness”, “like a child with a new toy” and “a near-blind devotion”. Oromis snaps at her to knock it the fuck off, and Saphira’s response is to prance (literally) backwards and sit. Eragon apologizes for her and Oromis tells them to get the fuck outta here. So they do, or rather Eragon tries to. He has to urge Saphira to leave, and once she does so, she insists on circling over Oromis and Glaedr’s heads three times before she heads home. Only then she and Eragon have a chat about what just happened, and since they’re speaking in the ancient language, he knows everything she’s saying is the truth. Eragon starts to lecture her about her behavior and Saphira gets mad at him and tells him not to be her conscience.

 

He laughed then, heedless for a moment of where he sat among the clouds, rolling to his side until he almost dropped from the peak of her shoulders. Oh, rich irony that, after the times you’ve told me what to do. I am your conscience, Saphira, as much as you are mine. You’ve had good reason to chastise and warn me in the past, and now I must do the same for you: stop pestering Glaedr with your attentions. 

 

First of all, let’s discuss Saphira’s reaction to Glaedr. It isn’t to play. It’s to mate. She’s trying to convince him to mate with her, because he’s the only game in town right now, and she wants what every female in this story wants (unless that female is an elf or Angela), which is sex and babies. Forget saving the world from an evil madman, making babies is more important! Like, okay, I can understand her being all excited that she’s not alone and she’s attempting to be the annoying little sister, but that’s not what she’s doing. She’s trying to force herself on Glaedr, so he’ll give in and stick it in her and give her babies. Second, I agree with Eragon here. Shocker, I know. But he’s right; she can’t have it both ways, where she tells him what for and then gets to do whatever she wants without him telling her what for. Fair’s fair, and whatever’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Thirdly, let’s point out here that Eragon doesn’t bother to take his own advice. Of course, neither does Saphira. Both of them still choose to pursue their “love interest”, at least until both parties make it clear that Eragon and Saphira’s attentions aren’t wanted. At least in the case of Glaedr; Arya goes back to being wishy-washy and in the end decides she wants Eragon too, but denies herself because of duty. Saphira and Firnen, however, get it on like two horny bunnies who don’t have tomorrow. 

 

Saphira gives Eragon the Silent Treatment, so in typical fashion, he has to say her name to get her to respond to him. Then that drama is all over with and they start talking about Eragon’s seizures. Eragon complains some and eventually his thoughts turn from complaining to the conundrum Oromis told him to think about, which is how he can justify fighting the Empire and killing Galby when it’s going to cause even more suffering. Saphira pipes up that she has an answer, so Eragon asks what it is, and she starts to tell him before she decides nope, not gonna do something like that, you have to figure it out for yourself. Eragon’s like WTF Saphira, seriously, and she’s like yes, seriously. This is what she says:

 

I am. If you don’t know why what we do is the right thing, you might as well surrender to Galbatorix for all the good you’ll do. No matter how eloquent his pleas, he could extract nothing more from her, for she blocked him from that part of her mind. 

 

Well, aren’t we little miss righteous? This is like the kind of argument you get when someone says “Oh, I know!” but then won’t say the answer because they really don’t know. Honestly, this question isn’t even hard. Why is he fighting when all it’s going to do is cause more suffering? He’s fighting because Galbatorix needs to be defeated. He needs to be removed. No king should rule forever, especially one who no longer has any interest in the world around him. Really, the Varden have no quarrels with the people of Alagaesia, and therefore shouldn’t bother them. But they do, and they do horrible things to these people, and so they’re the bad guys in the minds of the people. The Varden don’t even try to avoid fighting the majority of the cities they come across, nor do they try to negotiate. They just... take over. But it irritates me that Saphira is so sure she’s right, but she won’t even give Eragon a hint, because if he can’t figure it out for himself, as she says, he might as well surrender. Why surrender? Also, Saphira, men have fought wars for less than righteous reasons. I mean, the Trojan War was basically fought over a woman. A woman. 

 

There’s a time skip and we rejoin Boy Wonder eating his dinner. He’s just about to start reading when there comes a knock at his chamber door. He really hopes it’s Arya. And guess what. It is. This time Arya invites Eragon to her house, and we get a sentence about what she’s wearing. Because it really matters that much, I guess. Or that’s just what Eragon’s noticing about her. Her appearance. Anyway, Eragon’s all for going to Arya’s house... and so is Saphira. So much for that date, right?

 

Arya looked surprised when both of them spoke in the ancient language, so Eragon explained Oromis’s command. “An excellent idea,” said Arya, joining them in the same language. “And it is more appropriate to speak thus while you stay here.” 

 

Because we elves don’t want to debase ourselves by speaking that mongrel language you call the human tongue. sniff But no, seriously, that’s what this passage tells me. That it takes effort on the part of the elves to talk in the “common tongue” and they don’t want to, because it demeans them. It makes them less. Honestly, what’s appropriate should be how Eragon wants to do it, not how people tell him to do it. He shouldn’t have to speak in the elves’ tongue in order to learn magic. He’s not trying to have a conversation with Galbatorix, he’s supposed to kill him! And besides that, none of this matters, because any time Eragon has to do a long and complex spell, it’s written in prose, never in actual quotes. If he casts a simple spell, that’s in quotes, but otherwise we get “Eragon sung” or “Eragon spoke in the ancient language”. We don’t actually get anything that shows this actually helped him. Besides that, for the sake of the readers, Eragon has to speak the “common tongue”, even when speaking the ancient language so we can understand what he’s saying. I can’t begin to express how stupid it is to have a race’s language also be the language used for magic.

 

So they go and as they’re walking, they encounter a lot of elves on the way, all of whom ignore Eragon and bow to Saphira. Because Eragon doesn’t matter at this point. He’s human.

 

Eragon noticed once again that no elf children were to be seen. He mentioned this to Arya, and she said, “Aye, we have few children. Only two are in Ellesméra at the present, Dusan and Alanna. We treasure children above all else because they are so rare. To have a child is the greatest honor and responsibility that can be bestowed upon any living being.” 

 

And yet, the elves participate in a ritual that forces the entire forest and its inhabitants to have sex, whether or not it’s their natural time to do so. Therefore, the animals and plants are more densely populated here in this forest than anywhere else in the world. However, the elves themselves are not affected by this ritual, so they aren’t having mass orgies or pairing up just to shag for the evening. So, by rights, you’d think there’d be more children running around than just two. And I really hope I’m not the only one who sees the irony in Arya’s last line. She says that, but her people participate in a ritual that forces all living beings in the forest to procreate. The elves essentially use magic to rape the forest, and those animals are forced to have a litter or clutch that they naturally wouldn’t have had at that time. So how can they believe this, and yet force the animals and plants of the forest to bear new generations? 

 

They finally get to Arya’s house and Arya has to say the password before they’re let in. No, seriously. She has to actually say a password before she can enter her own damn house. So they go through and there’s a description of a garden. We’re specifically told that there are flowers there that shouldn’t be there because they can’t survive without a particular environment but because of the elves’ magic, everything’s thriving. Can we lay on a little thicker just how awesome the elves are? I don’t think the people in the back row get it yet. Anyway, Arya gives them a grand tour, there’s lots of description that nobody cares about, anyone they meet only acknowledges Saphira, and eventually they meet up with Queen Izzy. They exchange pleasantries before Izzy heads off to do whatever it is she’s up to. Eventually they return to the garden and we get more description as Arya describes to Eragon all the different flowers here and all he gives a shit about is the sound of her voice. He’s “entranced” by it. Creep. Eventually Eragon asks her which one is her favorite, so she shows him. She calls the flower perfect and lovely and Eragon, who can’t keep it in his pants, says she’s perfect and lovely too. Saphira freaks out. Arya, on the other hand, reacts like this:

 

Arya fixed her eyes upon him, studying him until he was forced to look away. When he dared face her again, he was mortified to see her wearing a faint smile, as if amused by his reaction. “You are too kind,” she murmured. Reaching up, she touched the rim of a blossom and glanced from it to him. “Fäolin created this especially for me one summer solstice, long ago.” 

 

Finally, the first and only bit of evidence that Arya was in love with Faolin, and possibly his love for her. So now we know why he has to die in the beginning of Book One - to clear the way for Eragon. Because potential love interest can’t have competition, right? I’m fairly certain - and mind you this is just a personal theory - that the character of Faolin was solely created just to have a measuring stick against Eragon, such that Eragon would have to overcome this dead guy’s shadow just to have a chance with the hot elven babe. He had to die, otherwise Arya would never consider Eragon at all as a mate. Even still, it’s clear that Arya cares far more about Faolin than she let on, and even now it’s subtle in the undertones of this scene that she still has strong feelings for him, despite the fact he’s dead. 

 

Eragon is hurt and offended that she didn’t take his compliment about her being lovely and perfect more seriously. He wants to turn invisible and even considers casting a spell that would do that. But he doesn’t. Rather he says it’s late and they have to go to bed now. Arya says she understands, so she escorts them out and says good night. Eragon asks if they’ll see her tomorrow and she basically ghosts him by saying she’s going to be “busy” tomorrow. Then the doors close so Eragon can’t see her anymore. Saphira starts laying into Eragon then about how it isn’t fair that he can complain about her behavior with Glaedr and then immediately turn around and do the same damn thing with Arya. Eragon’s response is:

 

You know how I feel about her, he grumbled. 

 

Yay, Saphira called him out on his ‘do as I say, not as I do’! Not that it matters. None of it matters. Saphira doesn’t get here until Firnen comes along at the end of Book Four, and Eragon and Arya almost get what they want, but at the last second, Arya chickens out and says she can’t be with him because of duty. Yet, literally, Eragon ends up two days’ sailing outside the country. Two days. Which means long distance relationship and visits. Or you’d think, but it’s never specifically said. 

 

The two begin to argue over who can tell who what to do and what not to do. Saphira starts talking about all the reasons Eragon can’t be with Arya - she’s a princess; she’s an elf; she’s over 100 years old - and Eragon refutes her - he’s a Rider; he looks more and more like an elf every day; he’ll live as long as she will - and when he says that he’s just as immortal as Arya is, Saphira points out that he doesn’t have the same experience as she does. She’s got a century on him and Eragon gets pissed when he perceives Saphira’s comparing him to a child. He certainly fucking acts like one. She calls him young. Eragon replies:

 

As are you.

 

His retort silenced her for a minute. Then: I’m just trying to protect you, Eragon. That’s all. I want you to be happy, and I’m afraid you won’t be if you insist on pursuing Arya. 

 

She’s not wrong, but Saphira, you’d do well to take your own advice. I have to admit, I really love how these two tell each other what not to do, but then end up doing it themselves, and only once in a while do they call each other out on it. But never do they mention at those times these things that they’ve already discussed. There’s never any “I told you so”. It’s always ignored that the thing already happened or was discussed earlier. Just for once, let there be an I told you so!

 

Another time skip, and the two of them are just about to go to bed when comes another knocking at Eragon’s chamber door. This time it’s Orik. And he’s drunk. He’s a talkative drunk. Orik comes in and complains that he’s basically got nothing to do but sit around and get drunk. Eragon feels slightly guilty but that’s only worth one sentence and doesn’t matter because Eragon never feels this again toward Orik. He apologizes and then asks what Orik is drinking.

 

“Faelnirv,” declared Orik. “A mosht wonderful, ticklish potion. The besht and greatest of the elves’ tricksty inventions; it gives you the gift of loquacion. Words float from your tongue like shoals of flapping minnows, like flocks of breathlessh hummingbirds, like rivers of writhing shnakes.” He paused, apparently taken by the unique magnificence of his similes. As Eragon ushered him into the bedroom, Orik saluted Saphira with his bottle and said, “Greetings, O Irontooth. May your shcales shine as bright as the coals of Morgothal’s forge.” 

 

You know, for being drunk, Orik is surprisingly eloquent. Using so many big words that I need a dictionary to look up. Loquation (or loquacious) is being too talkative. Basically, you won’t shut up. Also, let’s introduce faelnirv as a legit alcoholic drink! But earlier, it’s supposed to be like some sort of energy drink that would allow a person to run for three days and nights without sleep! So how can it also get you drunk? I guess if you have too much of it? But this also brings me to my next point of argument - the fact the Orik is even here at all. He arrives, we see him at the feast, and then we never see him again. Ever. There hasn’t been one mention of him between the feast and now. Arya doesn’t mention him. Eragon and Saphira don’t ask after him. It seems like everyone forgot that he existed. So what’s the point of having him here? He doesn’t get to watch Eragon’s training, he doesn’t get to participate, he doesn’t even get to stay with Eragon. So why is he here? He should’ve gone back with the other dwarves for all the good he’s done.

 

Saphira says yo, Orik, buddy, what’s up. What’s got you in the cups? Eragon has to be her mouthpiece to deliver her questions to Orik. Orik responds:

 

“What has put me in mine shtate?” repeated Orik. He dropped into the chair that Eragon provided—his feet dangling several inches above the ground—and began to shake his head. “Red cap, green cap, elves here and elves there. I drown in elvesh and their thrice-damned courtesy. Bloodless they be. Taciturn they are. Yesh sir, no shir, three bagsh full, sir, yet nary a pip more can I extract.” He looked at Eragon with a mournful expression. “What am I to do while you meander through your instruction? Am I to sit and twiddle mine thumbs while I turn to shtone and join the shpirits of mine anshestors? Tell me, O sagacious Rider.” 

 

Okay, does Paolini play WoW? Because I swear every single “drunk” word Orik says is exactly how they do it in WoW when your character is drunk and you type something out. Also, yay, more dictionary words. Sagacious means “having or showing keen mental discernment and good judgement; shrewd”. So basically Orik is saying Eragon has good judgment and gives good advice. Which he doesn’t and can’t. So. Basically Orik is lonely and wants to hang out with Eragon, who doesn’t really want to give him the time of day. And I love how he insults the elves. He’s not wrong, of course. 

 

Saphira wants to know if there’s nothing he can do to occupy himself, and Orik says there is, but he doesn’t want to show off his smithing skills because the elves won’t appreciate them. Which I can totally understand. Why bother doing something if nobody’s going to appreciate it and/or look down on you for it because your work isn’t as “good” as theirs? But then on the other hand, I don’t understand why Orik cares about what the elves think about his skills. A pox on all their houses, is what he should be saying as he happily hammers away at a piece of armor or a sword blade. On the other, other hand, I can forgive him for saying this because he’s drunk and drunk people don’t necessarily think about what they’re saying before they say it. Anyway, Eragon decides he’s going to get drunk too, so he asks Orik for the bottle. Eragon drinks quite heavily, or so I assume, because when he hands the bottle back to Orik, Orik seems disappointed by the “little” that remains in the bottle. Orik then asks what Eragon and Saphira have been up to. Eragon launches into his tale and at the end he mentions Arya and he tells Orik how much he wuvs her and he wants her to be his waifu.

 

Wagging a finger, Orik said, “The rock beneath you is flawed, Eragon. Don’t tempt fate. Arya...” He stopped, then growled and took another gulp of faelnirv. “Ah, it’s too late for thish. Who am I to say what is wisdom and what isn’t?” 

 

Well, so much for this elixir being an energy drink. Now both of them are drunk off their asses. Seriously, when did this drink go from being what amounted to an energy drink to being an alcoholic beverage that gets people drunk? I mean, the previous paragraph even describes Eragon as being tipsy enough to throw caution to the wind and tell Orik about his spurned advance upon Arya, but he only had two “quaffs” from it. Quaff means to “drink heartily”, so Eragon must have guzzled the shit down. Even in the feast scene, he didn’t have that much, and I don’t see how something described as what amounts to an energy drink - a man can run for three days without sleep on one sip alone - can also be an alcoholic beverage. It really shouldn’t be both ways, and it ends up being treated as only an alcohol for the rest of the books. It’s like Paolini forgot what he made this drink to actually be, and rather than apply it properly, it’s just a tool to get his characters smashed.

 

Saphira had closed her eyes a while ago. Without opening them, she asked, Are you married, Orik? The question surprised Eragon; he had never stopped to wonder about Orik’s personal life. 

 

Of course he didn’t. Eragon’s a selfish little asshole. He doesn’t care about anything but himself. If it doesn’t impact him or his immediate wants and needs, he doesn’t give a shit. If it doesn’t conform to his way of thinking, it doesn’t matter to him. 

 

Orik says no, he’s not married, but he’s betrothed to a dwarf lady named Hvedra. Apparently they were supposed to be married in the spring that just passed, but the Urgals fucked that up by attacking Tronglebongle and Hrothgar sent him to be Eragon’s chaperone. Eragon asks if she’s of the same clan Orik is, which gets Orik’s back up for some strange reason.

 

“Of coursh!” roared Orik, pounding his fist on the side of the chair. “Thinkest thou I would marry outside my clan? She’s the granddaughter of mine aunt Vardrûn, Hrothgar’s coushin twice removed, with white, round calves as smooth as satin, cheeks as red as apples, and the prettiesht dwarf maid who ever did exist.” 

 

So... the dwarves practice incest? But not really? This makes me feel like the dwarves practice the same kind of marriage that the old time royals did, marrying their cousins so they could keep the bloodline “pure” and keep the crown in their hands. This practice also gave rise to innumerable diseases, mental issues, and other problems, though. I guess Orik can get away with it because his aunt is Hrothgar’s cousin twice removed, and not directly related to Orik himself, but still, his argument of not marrying outside his clan bothers me, because if they don’t marry outside their clan and bring new blood in, then they’ll eventually all be related and disease will begin to appear. And moreover, if they have the practice of adoption, then people have to move between clans and join others during their lifetime. So it doesn’t make sense that they’d keep it all in the family, as the saying goes.

 

Eragon assures Orik it won’t be long before he sees her again and then for whatever reason the conversation turns to the topic of giants which turns into a joke about being a dwarf. No, seriously. He says if Eragon met someone bigger than him, what would that person call him? Eragon says, well, he’d call me by my name, right? No! He’d call you a dwarf, Orik says, because Eragon would be a dwarf to that guy. Just as the elves and humans are “giants” to the dwarves. ...When did the dwarves become hobbits? I’m pretty sure Gimli was taller than Frodo, and Gimli came to Aragorn’s chest. I haven’t seen Lord of the Rings in a long time, though, so I could be wrong about that. Anyway, he says something about humans and elves casting dwarves in “endless shadowses” (and Gollum called, he wants his mode of speech back), which is apparently so amusing to Orik that he falls out of his chair laughing. Eragon says he’s too drunk to leave so he’s going to stay in the tree house for the night. Eragon tucks him into bed, lays down on the other side, and the chapter ends with Eragon falling asleep to Orik muttering his lady love’s name over and over again.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I'm going to be that guy and bring up do you think the way Oromis teaches Eragon is how the Paolini's home schooled their kids? Had them read a bunch of stuff without knowing what it was about and if the curriculum was running thin they would lob a dictionary at them to read and write down definitions?

[oblakom]

And here, ladies and gentlemen, we have what is probably the main reason why Brom is as ignorant as a brick and Morzan's behavior went unchecked: as soon as the disciple oversteps (which, honestly, is likely to happen with children separated from their families who have only their teacher as stable adult figure) the wise teacher throws a giant I-Am-Not-Currently-Speaking-To-You temper tantrum and wastes a whole lesson away WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE TIME AND HAVE A WAR HAUNDING THEM TO BEGIN WITH. Seriously, if THIS is how this fucker reacts at the minimum problem (c'mon, this was not such a big lack of respect) I will bet that 9/10 lessons went to fuck themselves because Morzan misbehaved and was unable to parent himself like Oromis wanted. Jesus Christ.

Also, who the fuck thinks that reading a dictionary is a good learning method? At most, Eragon should have been given the dictionary to translate the texts Oromis gave him.

The poison thing is used only in practice with Oromis and never in actual situations

Fun fact: at the end of Inheritance, after Galbatorix's death, there is actually a quick mention that someone tried to poison the imbecile and he survived because of fucking wards. So yeah, another situation in which his teachings were worth nothing because 1) were not put into practice and 2) FUCKING OVERPOWERED WARDS

[ultimate_cheetah]

I know. GODDAMMIT OROMIS, GET OFF YOUR ASS AND ACTUALLY TEACH THIS KID ABOUT PROPER MAGIC SO HE DOESN'T KILL HIMSELF.

Also, who the fuck thinks that reading a dictionary is a good learning method? At most, Eragon should have been given the dictionary to translate the texts Oromis gave him.

I know. I'm learning spanish and german right now. I'm more far along in spanish, and I can tell you that when you don't know how words are put together, well, one-to-one words sentences fit in your native syntax don't work that well.

Also, how the hell can Eragon speak so well. He should be speaking far slower. I remember my conversations in spanish. You have to think about every single world you speak, and remember the pronunciation on top of that.

*as soon as the disciple oversteps (which, honestly, is likely to happen with children separated from their families who have only their teacher as stable adult figure) the wise teacher throws a giant I-Am-Not-Currently-Speaking-To-You temper tantrum and wastes a whole lesson away WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE TIME AND HAVE A WAR HAUNDING THEM TO BEGIN WITH. *

Oromis (War is coming): Na, it's okay, let's stare at some beetles.

Oromis (War is here): Don't worry. Now, let us meditate.

Oromis (people pounding down the door): Okay, let's be prepared. Take your dictionary out.

Soldiers break down door, student and Oromis get owned.

Oromis: \:O

[oblakom]

Also, how the hell can Eragon speak so well. He should be speaking far slower. I remember my conversations in spanish. You have to think about every single world you speak, and remember the pronunciation on top of that.

I am bilingual - more or less - and I will have so much fun forcing characters to speak in languages that are not theirs. Even for the elves it won't be easy. Imagine an elf speaking to a human and suddenly doesn't remember a word in the human language but only the same word in the AL and just goes: "You know, it is... [word in AL]. I'm sorry, how would you say [word in AL] in your language". And the human is just "??? How am I supposed to know that?"

[(Anonymous)]

Being immersed in a language is probably the best way to learn a language. Sure, 4 years of Spanish is quite a bit, but there's a big difference between speaking it for two hours a day and having to not only speak in it, but think in it (because that's how he has to talk to Saphira) every waking moment.

[epistler]

Has Paolini ever SEEN a drunk person? Because newsflash, they don't actually shlur their wordsh like thish. Mostly drunk people just repeat themselves a lot and wander off the point because their attention span is completely shot to hell.

I'm with you on the "why is Orik even here" thing. His presence in Elftown is completely pointless. It might have worked better if he had a role as Eragon's pal, sympathising with him as they both try to adapt to this strange new environment, but this is the only time they even talk while they're there. It's pretty sad and makes Eragon look like an even bigger jerk because not only did he never bother to take an interest in his supposed foster brother's personal life but he doesn't bother to see how he's getting on here either. Self-absorbed much?

[oblakom]

Honestly, Orik would have been a good mirror on elven racism. In a well written story Eragon would have seen the elves looking down on him and remembered what Arya did at the temple and opened his eyes a little

[epistler]

Yeah, no kidding. Too bad Paolini was so hung up on worshipping his goddamn insufferable elves.

[oblakom]

Seriously, wtf. Even if for someone who loves the elves Paolini spent an embarassing little amount of time developing them. Shit, right now I am writing an piece that I need to advance the plot? No! To show an interaction between an elf and human and so dwell more into the racial difference and give also more dept to the characters - Lord Barst and Formora, feat Lord Barst's wife and kids.

[ultimate_cheetah]

• No! To show an interaction between an elf and human and so dwell more into the racial difference and give also more dept to the characters - Lord Barst and Formora, feat Lord Barst's wife and kids.*

That's interesting. How is Formora still sane after the Banishing of the Names?

[oblakom]

How is Formora still sane after the Banishing of the Names?

Coping mechanism. All the Forsworn still alive have one, whether they are healthy or not is up for debate. Formora just lives moment to moment, postponing suicide one to-do-thing at a time. Also, she is not generally mind-fused with her dragon so even if she feels the effects of the Banishing of the Name it is not destroying her mind like it is doing to Morzan, for example. It is still very painful (in fact, many Forsworn suicided).
Another reason why she stays alive (but this all of them) is for the sake of the rest of the group. They are all so fucked up that the first who lets go may start a domino effect of them all hanging themselves.

[(Anonymous)]

"He dropped into the chair that Eragon provided—his feet dangling several inches above the ground"

Nope. Orik had better been standing on a ladder. One cannot not drop into a chair taller than one's ass. Unless it was a spinny chair and he lay on his stomach and then his legs were dangling and not touching because Eragon was spinning him around fast enough.

-Rhyson

[(Anonymous)]

Also, that shit they're drinking is a bastardized version of Miruvor, Tolkien's Elvish energy drink. And by bastardized, I mean Paolini is a bastard for taking something Tolkien made up and then using it to get people drunk.

-still Rhyson and still too lazy to sign in.