Forged By Fire Sporking: Part Eight

[epistler]

Part Eight: Rogue None

The next chapter opens with Zarq still with the Djimbi. The dragons have “accesses” on their snouts, and we get a lovely description of them being drained. Paging Doctor Pimple Popper, I think I’ve found you some new material. (Do not look up that YouTube channel if you ever want to feel like eating food again). Zarq continues to use medical terminology such as “necrotic tissue”, and apparently knows what a porcupine is. She also discovers that the Djimbi women weave moss and lichen into their hair, where it grows, and that’s why they have green hair. You laugh, but apparently it’s the same deal with sloths. Or so Zarq claims, and she apparently knows an awful lot. More than your average librarian or someone with multiple degrees, apparently. (Might I add, she’s only eighteen at this point and has never been to school).

Meanwhile Zarq concludes that what Snail Eyes told her about the Djimbi not being fighters or aggressive is a load of hooey when it comes to this lot; in reality they’re “warriors, predators, fighters”.

Longstride gives Zarq some raw meat (do these guys not know how to cook? Why do they have a fire if they just eat everything raw?), and some sort of mushroom paste-looking thing, which acts like the purgative Gen gave her before and gets rid of the venom cravings.

They’ll be back.

Finally the Djimbi lead Zarq to a spot overlooking the rebel camp, and Zarq realises they don’t want any thanks. She wonders why they bothered to do the dragon dance thingy for her and then went to the trouble of escorting her here; surely they want something in return. Zarq thinks of one of the other women there as arrogant (much as Longstride herself has been described about three times), and decides she dislikes the idea of “being beholden to her and her people”. Hey, they only saved your ass, taught you the secret of breeding bull dragons, gave your dragons free medical care and then helped you out of the jungle. No need to waste any gratitude on that lot, hey-o.

What a jerk.

Rather than stick around in case they decide to ask her to return the favour(s), Zarq hops on one of her dragons and prepares to fly off. The Djimbi obligingly disappear, and Zarq flies down into the canon, lands and then continues on foot. She eventually finds the camp, which is apparently deserted. Like an idiot she yells for Tansan and Savga (dude, obvious trap!), and someone yells back, asking to be “cut free”. Sadly for Zarq it’s not Savga or Tansan, but the still nameless dragonmaster, who Zarq finds in a bamboo hut, tied up with a knife hanging over him for some reason.

Zarq asks who tied him up and he says it was Tansan, though he refers to her as “that brooder bitch from the arbiyesku”. Wow, what an asshole. What did she ever do to y- oh, right. Tied up.

Zarq cuts him partway loose, then gives him a telling off, saying she’s sick of how he talks to her and it’s time to change his ways. He charmingly responds by calling her a “Rishi whore” and she’s gonna be sorry. Zarq demands to know what happened to Savga, and he says she’s fine and with her mother. Apparently Savga kept insisting that Zarq would show up, and Tansan claimed the kid has some sort of psychic power called “dragonsight” and can see the future sometimes.

You know, it would be really great if the author had even bothered to so much as hint at that before now. Instead it just comes out of nowhere.

Anyway, so because of the kid they left the dragonmaster behind to wait for Zarq. Why it was necessary to tie him up and stick a garotte wire around his neck, I’ve no idea. The dude was already pissed off and unbalanced as it was.

Proving my point, he starts ranting on about how Tansan is a “bitch” and a “scheming duplicitous blackheart”, and how “something about her reeks of the unnatural”. Woah, calm down there, mate.

Zarq snaps back that he just hates her because she’s strong and he prefers “subservience and timidity in women”. And for once I’m in complete agreement with her; asshole men like this guy can’t stand it when a woman has power over them, perceived or actual, and every single time they resort to the same tactics of trying to bring said woman down by calling her either a “bitch” or a “slut”. Basic rule of thumb is if she’s attractive and has sex, she’s a dirty slut. If she’s more conservative or older, she’s an unloving ice queen bitch. (If she’s fat or ugly, she’s just a joke).

Either way the dragonmaster ain’t buying Zarq’s moment of actual feminism, saying she needs to open her eyes and see that Tansan has “dark magic”, which is why the rebels obey her. Zarq remembers seeing the woman briefly turn into a dragon during the argument she spied on before, and wonders if maybe she’s got a point, but rather than admit it she says so what if Tansan uses Djimbi magic, because he and Gen both do it.

He replies that her “talents are veiled” and she can’t be trusted. Zarq tells him he’s just jealous because Tansan is actually getting shit done while he’s Mr Useless McUselesspants. She demands to know where they’ve gone, and the dragonmaster says they’ve gone to Ghepp’s palace, two days ago, adding that if Zarq hadn’t flown into the storm they’d all be together now. Zarq retorts that he flew into the storm and she was just following him, but he says no, they landed and Zarq flew right over them. He adds that she definitely saw them, but kept on going.

Zarq is confused because she has absolutely no memory of any of that happening. In fact all she really does remember is getting caught in the storm. So… magic? Blackout drunk? I have no recollection of this ever being explained, so I guess we’ll see.

Anyway, so Tansan and the others are going to attack Ghepp’s estate tonight, and it sounds like they’re pretty well-organised. Zarq finishes untying the dragonmaster-with-no-name, and he goes all creepy and declares that Tansan is going to pay. Zarq tells him not to lay so much as a finger on her, and when he insists that he’s gonna have his revenge on her for tying him up, she threatens him and says she’ll kill his sorry ass if he hurts Tansan. Sorry, Zarq – that woman still isn’t going to have sex with you. Which is clearly the only reason you care about her wellbeing.

Even so they prepare to fly off on the dragons, and Zarq thinks she should just kill him once they get to the palace, then “recoils” from the idea because that would be treacherous and cowardly. Yeah, I really don’t think this guy is much of a threat to anyone; he’s a wreck both mentally and physically. Instead she just decides to warn Tansan. (Spoiler: She doesn’t).

The two of them talk a bit about the rebels and how numerous and capable they are. Apparently there are only thirty two “warriors”, but they’re all so badass and stuff that they can take the palace in a surprise attack, no sweat. Since I don’t know how many guys Ghepp has, I guess I’ll just take the dragonmaster’s word for that.

Finally, the two of them fly off.

In the next chapter they land near the palace (or Clutch, whatever you want to call it) and – ugh – Savga is there, smelling of “trust and small, grubby hands”. Zarq wants to hold onto her “forever”, but puts her down because she doesn’t have time right now. Wow, for once she’s actually prioritising.

Tansan shows up and says she heard about what Zarq did re. sending the slaves home and putting a stop to slave poaching in general. Apparently Savga told her everything.

…is it just me, or does “Savga” sound like some sort of sea bird? I can just hear David Attenborough now. “During the summer months, the savga spends her days hunting for whiting in lagoons close to the beach. She needs to build up her strength with plenty of food in time for the autumn migration to Poland. Sadly, many savga will perish on the journey.”

Anyway, so now Tansan is cautiously respectful and asks Zarq who she really is. Adding another cliché, Zarq answers that it’s a long story and declares that she’s in all the way. Tansan decides to believe her and explains the plan of attack. Zarq interrupts, saying they can’t kill the overseer, Ghepp. She explains that they need him to keep Kratt at bay, implies that she herself is someone of some importance, then goes on to say that if they can keep Kratt off their backs for just eight weeks, she can make the Clutch incredibly wealthy and powerful. Why? Because she knows how to breed bulls in captivity, but it’ll take eight weeks to prove it. How she knows it’ll take eight weeks is not explained.

Tansan agrees to see to it that Ghepp is taken as a hostage rather than killed, and then Ryn shows up. Zarq demands that he be let go because he’s “only a child”. I dunno, considering how short people’s lifespans must be in this setting, thirteen is probably considered pretty elderly. Either way they let the kid go, and the rebels begin their assault.

Does Zarq go with them? Nope. In fact we don’t get to see the battle at all; instead we stick with Zarq, who sits on a hilltop with Savga while one of the big action climaxes of the trilogy goes down off-camera. In fact Zarq can’t even see or hear anything and has no idea how it’s going. Instead she chats with Snail Eyes. Snail Eyes (actual name “Fwipi”, but if you think I’m letting go of the snail thing you’re nuts) talks about how after she got pregnant with Tansan, her grandmother took her out one night and “did things” to her.

OH DEAR GODS.

Oh, wait, Grandma didn’t molest her. Instead she did some sort of magic thing which made Snail Eyes feel like she’d just aborted her kid, but actually didn’t, after which Grandma suddenly dropped dead. Snail Eyes’ mum went to investigate and was eaten by “carrion wolves”, after which Snail Eyes’ baby bump swelled enormously and stayed that way for eleven freakin’ months. Tansan was born with a caul which was so thick it dulled the midwife’s knife when she cut it off. Snail Eyes concludes the story by saying maybe she remembers the whole thing wrongly and maybe she was “raped again two months after shed[ding] the first foetus”. Wait, what? This story makes no damn sense! What first foetus? Did she have a miscarriage or not?

Gah.

In any case the story ends with some philosophical remarks about how Snail Eyes doesn’t know what to believe any more and maybe Savga has “dragonsight” or maybe she doesn’t, and for some reason this prompts the dragonmaster to start preparing the dragons, and Zarq randomly declares that they’re going home. Um, why?

Cut to the next morning back at the village. One of Tansan’s guys comes to get Zarq, and reports that Tansan’s fine, the Clutch has been seized, and Ghepp has been taken prisoner. Oh, and Messenger Guy killed one of the guys who raped Tansan in a previous chapter and looted his fancy sword. Hey, good for him.

Thank gods Savga chooses to stay behind, while Zarq and the dragonmaster fly back to the Clutch. Apparently they managed to overrun the place without a single casualty. We get a bunch of description of the aftermath – lots of dead bodies, people gathering to claim a share of the loot, that sort of thing. End chapter.

In the next one Zarq finally meets up with Tansan, who is lightly wounded and wearing men’s clothing, which turns Zarq on because she can see the woman’s boobs “straining against her bloodied waistshirt”. What the hell is a waistshirt?

Zarq is informed that they’ve taken a prisoner who can fly dragons – the guy Zarq previously bashed over the head with a candlestick. They’re going to use him to send out “fliers” to find the absent rebel leader, Chinion, who’s been such a big help so far. Zarq says they need to send out every winged dragon they’ve got. One of the rebels has a go at her, correctly pointing out that she didn’t do squat in the fighting and what right does she have to go telling them what they should do, and who does she think she is.

Joy of joys, Zarq trots out the old melodramatic cliché of slowly and dramatically revealing her real name and various titles, ending with “you may have heard of me”. Well of course they’ve heard of her after all the big important things she’s done! Such as… uh… and then there’s… er….

Hey, look at that – a three-headed monkey!

*runs away*

But as it happens they have heard of her, and she gets an awed reaction like she actually is someone famous and important. One of them asks why she’s come to them, and she answers that she’s here to “hatch bull wings for the rishi”, saying she can deliver a bunch of them in just eight weeks. When one of them asks how, she – oh, for fuck’s sake – nonchalantly munches on a plum she got from somewhere like she’s James Bond or something, before making a smooth speech about how they have to change their strategy because the Emperor has more soldiers than they do, and the answer is to drive him out by ending his monopoly on dragon ownership, after which they’ll end “starvation and poverty” and everything will be wonderful and happy.

Paolini style, this little pep talk results in one of the rebels remarking that it was “a grandiloquent speech” without actually responding to the contents of said speech.

Zarq presses on, saying she has other plans. Find Chinion, send someone to parley with Clutch Re, and someone else to meet up with her “contact”, Malaban. When one of the rebels sneerily asks what this “network of men” they should “blindly trust” is, Zarq has this comeback to offer:

“Not blindly,” I snapped. “never blindly. I’ve fought in Arena and twice survived the attack of a bull dragon; I do nothing blindly.”

 Okay, who the fuck is this person and what has she done with Zarq? And I don’t mean that in a good way either. She’s acting completely out of character, not to mention that the “I do nothing blindly” claim is utter bullshit. Every single decision she’s made so far has been impulsive and poorly thought out, and has ended badly for that reason. And when the hell did she turn into a master strategist and leader? She sounds like a commanding general all of a sudden. Not to mention that she just pulled super rhetoric powers right out of her arse. Just like her random ability to throw deadly quoits, and her random ability to punch a guy out in the first book, and her random ability to build toilet blocks in the second one, and… well, the list goes on.

Zarq then magically intuits that Chinion is behind all the other uprisings, and talks about how they need to “minimise bloodshed” in the future because of The Children and blah blah blah, I don’t even want to keep reading this. Tansan is suitably impressed and says she wants to talk alone, whereupon she grills Zarq about her background. Zarq tells her everything while drinking “clove and orange wine”. Ooh, sounds tasty.

I tried making my own orange wine once, but it exploded in my face. It took forever to scrub the pulp off the ceiling. All I can say is thank gods the laughing bystander who saw it all go down didn’t have a camera.  

Zarq tells Tansan all about the jail she was put in in the last book, and lies about how she played a “crucial part” in the escape. Finally she talks about the Djimbi dance party, and finishes by explaining how the “bull hatching” thing actually works, which I covered previously. Might I add, she does this in front of Tansan’s one remaining guard, who she doesn’t even know. Better hope he doesn’t blab.

The dragonmaster shows up and tries to get in, but is chased off. Tansan’s guard (no, he doesn’t have a name) talks about how there’s a type of fish called a calcarifer which also changes gender, and Tansan brings up moths and butterflies. But she rightly points out that surely someone would have discovered the secret purely by accident by now.

Zarq eats some nuts, reflects on how booze is a poor substitute for venom, and explains that the cocoons have to be exposed to heat because in the wild they’d be in treetops and such.  After some further discussion they conclude that lighting fires around the cocoons wouldn’t work, and they need sunlight. Zarq is uncertain and thinks there’s a further element involved, but can’t figure out what it is.

Finally, Tansan asks her if she’s planning to go and meet Malaban on her own. Zarq explains that she doesn’t know how to fly or read a map, and she needs Ryn the Rape Victim to help her. But Tansan’s bodyguard says the kid can’t be trusted and she has to take the dragonmaster instead. Zarq unwillingly agrees, and the guy stands up and turns out to be “at least twice as tall as I’d expected”.

Okay, this guy is totally Chinion. The foreshadowing is ridiculously obvious. Tansan lets him stick around and listen to secret information, he’s taking charge all of a sudden despite being an apparent nobody, he’s unexpectedly tall… yeah, he’s Chinion. Bet you fifty bucks.

Note from the future: Actually he’s not Chinion, which means he’s getting all this special attention for no reason whatsoever.