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Jeod's Letter: Spork
Jun. 29th, 2020 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ultimate_cheetah Hey, everyone. Today, I will be sporking Jeod's Letter, which takes place about a year after the cycle. You can find it Here. Without further ado, let's begin.
( Read more... ) I have put off sending you this manuscript again and again out of a desperate desire to see how the lives of certain people might unfold and where certain threads and trends might lead. But then, nothing ever truly resolves, does it, old friend? Things only change or transform, but they never end.
You guys believe that all civilization will end in a catastrophe! Stop trying to sound profound! Also, "certain people". Because of course, who cares about how the commoners and the people actually affected by all this are doing.
Therefore, as I ought to have done three months ago, I have entrusted this History to the courier Reldan, whom, if all goes well, you will have already met. I hope the manuscript arrives unscathed, for it is the only copy, and I quail at the thought of having to compose it anew.
Why didn't Jeod send this letter with the manuscript. And you're telling me that the Super Speshul Elves haven't invented the printing press yet. For that matter, why doesn't Aglag have a printing press? The elves have germ theory for god's sake!
Of Eragon and Saphira, little is known.
You mean Eragon and his flying taxi.
Nasuada had word from them but last week; apparently, work upon the Riders’ stronghold will soon be done. Where that might be, though, remains as much a mystery as before. The only conclusion I think we can draw with certainty is that it lies within sight of the Edda River, somewhere far to the east.
Well, we're just letting this teenager with a bunch of dragon eggs and manupulative dead dragons go off to parts unknown. This can't possibly go wrong!
Of Murtagh and Thorn, even less can be said. A merchant from the north told me that a band of troubadours saw a great red creature flying along the edge of Du Weldenvarden, close to the city of Ceunon. Players are notoriously unreliable, and I am reluctant to give much credence to their stories, but I include the mention here on the off chance that it may confirm the accounts of others.
This is just like the ending of the wormfork book. Murtagh and Thorn are having exciting adventures, but you don't get to see them!
Neither the egg given to the dwarves nor the egg given to the Urgals has hatched.
Why did you only give one egg to each race, then. Why not let them come to the stronghold and touch all the eggs?
It has only been a few months, however, so hope is yet high that the dragons will find suitable matches within the chosen races.
Okay, Let me speak seriously for a moment. The ones who get chosen are probably going to get ripped away from their families and sent to the elves to be indocrinated in their way of life. This in uncomfortably similar to when governments used to take indigenous kids away from their families, took away their culture, and tried to westernize them. The whole thing just disturbs me.
I confess the thought of a Kull becoming a Rider gives me pause.
And the thought of a superpowered elf who clearly has no respect for human life doesn't? This is some elitist bullshit right here.
Arya and Fírnen have kept to Du Weldenvarden for the main, but they have flown out upon two occasions in order to help Nasuada. The first was to forestall an armed conflict between two of her more obstreperous earls.
Wait one second, Nasuada is so incompetent that she can't stop a duel between two guys? Even if they're sending their soldiers out against each other, which Paolini never makes clear, Nas is seriously undermining her authority by relying on the elves.
The second is explained below.
Guess what the second thing was. What did Nas promise to do that was a terrible idea?
Nasuada’s plan to organize and keep watch over every magician within her purview proceeds apace. It has gone about as smoothly as one might expect, which is to say, not at all. Except for the magicians who were predisposed to serve their queen and country in the first place, they have, as a rule, objected strenuously to the restrictions Nasuada has imposed on them. Several altercations have broken out between members of Du Vrangr Gata and those they were attempting to put under observation.
And who's surprised by this? What did you think was going to happen, Nas? Generally, when you try to restrict people's rights, they fight back. She should've just waited for Galby to impose his plan, which would've been better executed, and should've taken over from there.
The most serious altercation occurred when Nasuada sent four of her pet spellcasters to find a magician—a hermit by the name of Tenga—whom Eragon discovered while traveling alone in the wastes between Helgrind and the Burning Plains (as described in one of my earlier reports). However, the spellcasters never returned. At Nasuada’s request, Arya and Fírnen went to investigate. They found the four lying dead outside the elven watchtower where Tenga had been living and Tenga fled to parts unknown. As of yet, naught else has been heard of him, which is worrisome. The situation bears close attention. Still, Nasuada remains undaunted, and she continues to seek out and establish hold over the spellcasters of Surda and her kingdom.
Well, can you blame him. I mean, if you've lived alone for who knows how long, and some strange guys come to try to restrict your magic, what would you do? Also, (since Tenga is supposed to be crazy) thanks, Paolini, for perpetuating the utterly false rumor that mental illness = violent/dangerous.
Why is Nas interfering with Surda?!
On a related note: Angela the herbalist.
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
She too seems to have disappeared as a result of Nasuada’s initiative. But, given the herbalist’s affinity for turning up wherever things of import are about to occur, I guess she has not gone far. As you asked, I attempted to track her. The spell you sent me, however, did not work when I read it from the scroll. Either it was miscast or she possesses wards sufficient to protect her from even such magic as that of the Nameless One.
Fucking wards! Umm, anyway, can't anyone magic themselves wards from scrying? Everyone important has them. Also, who the hell is the Nameless One?. That's definately cribbed from the second Earthsea book, by the way. And is he/she/they a god? If so, too little, too late.
I agree that the herbalist deserves further scrutiny. Her very existence poses a number of seemingly impossible conundrums, and the more I consider them, the more concerned I become.
Because she's not supposed to be in the story at all.
The answers I’ve arrived at—however tenuous—are unsettling at best and terrifying at worst. When I decided to make my home in Teirm, after my misadventures with Brom,
Who did not bother to change his name at all.
Angela was already living there. I only saw her in passing—more in later years, when she moved her shop close to my house—and it took at least a decade before I began to notice how little she aged. And it was not until I encountered her among the Varden, soon after the Battle of the Burning Plains, that I realized that she does not seem to be aging at all.
Why would Angela move to Teirm instead of Dras-Leona or Uru'Baen, since there's more likely to be action in those cities. Also, how does it take a decade to notice someone's not aging? If her hair didn't go grey at all, I would be suspicious. Furthermore, she's immortal, because of course she is.
That, along with her strange and varied powers—of which you will learn more in my History—leads me to speculate that perhaps she is not entirely human.
Obviously.
If not (if perhaps she is half-elf, for example), then she has disguised herself most effectively, for on the surface, she appears human in full. She is very short, though, so I would not discount the possibility
that she is part dwarf.
That's dwarfist.
I saw her bathing her feet one time, and she has the normal number of toes, but that, in and of itself, proves nothing.
Then why did you include it? This letter is long enough as it is.
Another possibility, and one I shudder to contemplate, is that she is neither human nor elf nor dwarf nor some combination thereof. It is an outlandish idea, I know, but I cannot help but consider it. Could she be one of the Grey Folk?
If so, good thing they went extinct.
Could she be part werecat (for they do seem unusually partial to her)?
Really? She cursed their king.
Or is she something else entirely? Is she perhaps more akin to the “Inarë,” assuming that what Eragon saw was real and they actually exist? That is the most frightening thought of all. It does not explain everything about her, but it would explain more than any other theory.
So the Guntera thing Ergy saw could be part of a hidden race? See, this actually could be interesting, so of course this is never mentionede in the Cycle.
Whatever the truth may be, I would advise every Voice and Eye to keep watch for her in the future. She does not know who we are, I think (I hope), and I believe it important to learn as much as we can about her. Where is she from? Does she have estates elsewhere?
Why would Angela need estates? She just wanders around and appears when the Plot says so.
And most important, what is she capable of?
Whatever the author wants.
Of Roran Stronghammer, I have nothing new to add. I would guess you know more about his activities in Palancar Valley than I do here in Ilirea.
Once again, Paolini gives a fan the metaphorical finger.
And that, I believe, is all. Any other questions you have should be answered within this History. If not, I of course will be happy to revise or clarify.
Which is more than can be said for Paolini.
I would note that the name of Nasuada’s kingdom was by far the most aggravating aspect of writing the latter part of the manuscript. By all rights, her realm ought to be known as the Varden Kingdom, even as the Broddring Kingdom was named after the Broddrings. I put the idea to Nasuada myself, but she refused. She said that the Varden Kingdom was too similar in sound and meaning to Du Weldenvarden, and that she did not want it to seem as if we are vassals of the elves.
HAHAHAHAHA! Too late.
Well, in that I suppose she is right. The next logical step would be to name the kingdom (or rather queendom, if one is being precise) after Nasuada or her family. However, she also refused to give her name to the kingdom, as she said that would be presumptuous, and as of yet, she has no family name. If she were to marry one who did, that would of course solve the problem.
Presumptuous, like giving a butcher's daughter a valuable dowry without consulting anyone? And isn't her last name Ajihadsdaughter, keeping with naming traditions?
Ultimately, the people themselves may decide this question for us, but in the meantime, it provided me with no end of irritation. My solution, as you will see, was simply to refer to the country as “her land” or “her kingdom,” which—while inelegant—at least has the virtue of simplicity.
This is a terrible idea. The elves have a queen, and Surda might get one. Furthermore, you want a name to go down in the history books. Also, this whole thing smells like Paolini couldn't be arsed to come up with a name himself. And, they could name the kingdom after the Broddrings, like Nas renamed Uru'baen.
If you have any thoughts upon the matter, I would be most interested to hear them.
As for myself, I’m doing well, as is Helen, better than ever before. Our business prospers, and I feel as if we might actually have a chance of living out our old age in peace and comfort, a fate that hardly seemed possible last year.
Well, maybe if you hadn't given supplies to terrorists there wouldn't be a problem, now would there?
I would still like to visit Ellesméra or Tronjheim, and it may be that our trading will take us there. But for the present, I have had enough traveling. My days of adventure are over, I hope, and now it is time to devote myself to learning and contemplation, ever my favorite pursuits.
And what of you, old friend? All fares well at the Reliquary? Have your roses given you a good harvest of blossoms this year? And what of Brother Hern’s illumination? Has he finished the fourth part of the book yet, or is he still struggling with the capitals at the beginnings of all those chapters
ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz...
I am most eager to know what you think of this History. I confess to feeling equal parts pride and trepidation upon sending it off: pride on account of the size and scope of the manuscript, and trepidation because I know that it, like all large works, is of a necessity imperfect.
Case in point: the IC.
A poem may be without flaws, but an epic never.
Well, not Paolini's poems.
In darkness and in light,
Jeod Longshanks
Why does Jeod have the name Longshanks anyway. Feel free to spectulate in the comments.
PS. I forgot; nothing else of the Ra’zac or the Lethrblaka has been seen anywhere within Surda or Nasuada’s realm. Hopefully, this will remain so for many years to come.
But we don't have the worry about the bloodthirsty dragons at all. Also, I imagine any Lethrblaka would be staying the hell away after hearing about the sociopathic, genocidal lunatic of Aglag.
PPS. No, Galbatorix’s body was never found. It seems inconceivable to me, though, that he could still be alive. If he did survive, he seems to have no interest in retaking his throne. In either event, I do not think we need worry about him again.
You never had to worry about Galby anyway. What's new?
Edit: I couldn't get the cut tag to work. Sorry.
( Read more... )
You guys believe that all civilization will end in a catastrophe! Stop trying to sound profound! Also, "certain people". Because of course, who cares about how the commoners and the people actually affected by all this are doing.
Therefore, as I ought to have done three months ago, I have entrusted this History to the courier Reldan, whom, if all goes well, you will have already met. I hope the manuscript arrives unscathed, for it is the only copy, and I quail at the thought of having to compose it anew.
Why didn't Jeod send this letter with the manuscript. And you're telling me that the Super Speshul Elves haven't invented the printing press yet. For that matter, why doesn't Aglag have a printing press? The elves have germ theory for god's sake!
Of Eragon and Saphira, little is known.
You mean Eragon and his flying taxi.
Nasuada had word from them but last week; apparently, work upon the Riders’ stronghold will soon be done. Where that might be, though, remains as much a mystery as before. The only conclusion I think we can draw with certainty is that it lies within sight of the Edda River, somewhere far to the east.
Well, we're just letting this teenager with a bunch of dragon eggs and manupulative dead dragons go off to parts unknown. This can't possibly go wrong!
Of Murtagh and Thorn, even less can be said. A merchant from the north told me that a band of troubadours saw a great red creature flying along the edge of Du Weldenvarden, close to the city of Ceunon. Players are notoriously unreliable, and I am reluctant to give much credence to their stories, but I include the mention here on the off chance that it may confirm the accounts of others.
This is just like the ending of the wormfork book. Murtagh and Thorn are having exciting adventures, but you don't get to see them!
Neither the egg given to the dwarves nor the egg given to the Urgals has hatched.
Why did you only give one egg to each race, then. Why not let them come to the stronghold and touch all the eggs?
It has only been a few months, however, so hope is yet high that the dragons will find suitable matches within the chosen races.
Okay, Let me speak seriously for a moment. The ones who get chosen are probably going to get ripped away from their families and sent to the elves to be indocrinated in their way of life. This in uncomfortably similar to when governments used to take indigenous kids away from their families, took away their culture, and tried to westernize them. The whole thing just disturbs me.
I confess the thought of a Kull becoming a Rider gives me pause.
And the thought of a superpowered elf who clearly has no respect for human life doesn't? This is some elitist bullshit right here.
Arya and Fírnen have kept to Du Weldenvarden for the main, but they have flown out upon two occasions in order to help Nasuada. The first was to forestall an armed conflict between two of her more obstreperous earls.
Wait one second, Nasuada is so incompetent that she can't stop a duel between two guys? Even if they're sending their soldiers out against each other, which Paolini never makes clear, Nas is seriously undermining her authority by relying on the elves.
The second is explained below.
Guess what the second thing was. What did Nas promise to do that was a terrible idea?
Nasuada’s plan to organize and keep watch over every magician within her purview proceeds apace. It has gone about as smoothly as one might expect, which is to say, not at all. Except for the magicians who were predisposed to serve their queen and country in the first place, they have, as a rule, objected strenuously to the restrictions Nasuada has imposed on them. Several altercations have broken out between members of Du Vrangr Gata and those they were attempting to put under observation.
And who's surprised by this? What did you think was going to happen, Nas? Generally, when you try to restrict people's rights, they fight back. She should've just waited for Galby to impose his plan, which would've been better executed, and should've taken over from there.
The most serious altercation occurred when Nasuada sent four of her pet spellcasters to find a magician—a hermit by the name of Tenga—whom Eragon discovered while traveling alone in the wastes between Helgrind and the Burning Plains (as described in one of my earlier reports). However, the spellcasters never returned. At Nasuada’s request, Arya and Fírnen went to investigate. They found the four lying dead outside the elven watchtower where Tenga had been living and Tenga fled to parts unknown. As of yet, naught else has been heard of him, which is worrisome. The situation bears close attention. Still, Nasuada remains undaunted, and she continues to seek out and establish hold over the spellcasters of Surda and her kingdom.
Well, can you blame him. I mean, if you've lived alone for who knows how long, and some strange guys come to try to restrict your magic, what would you do? Also, (since Tenga is supposed to be crazy) thanks, Paolini, for perpetuating the utterly false rumor that mental illness = violent/dangerous.
Why is Nas interfering with Surda?!
On a related note: Angela the herbalist.
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
She too seems to have disappeared as a result of Nasuada’s initiative. But, given the herbalist’s affinity for turning up wherever things of import are about to occur, I guess she has not gone far. As you asked, I attempted to track her. The spell you sent me, however, did not work when I read it from the scroll. Either it was miscast or she possesses wards sufficient to protect her from even such magic as that of the Nameless One.
Fucking wards! Umm, anyway, can't anyone magic themselves wards from scrying? Everyone important has them. Also, who the hell is the Nameless One?. That's definately cribbed from the second Earthsea book, by the way. And is he/she/they a god? If so, too little, too late.
I agree that the herbalist deserves further scrutiny. Her very existence poses a number of seemingly impossible conundrums, and the more I consider them, the more concerned I become.
Because she's not supposed to be in the story at all.
The answers I’ve arrived at—however tenuous—are unsettling at best and terrifying at worst. When I decided to make my home in Teirm, after my misadventures with Brom,
Who did not bother to change his name at all.
Angela was already living there. I only saw her in passing—more in later years, when she moved her shop close to my house—and it took at least a decade before I began to notice how little she aged. And it was not until I encountered her among the Varden, soon after the Battle of the Burning Plains, that I realized that she does not seem to be aging at all.
Why would Angela move to Teirm instead of Dras-Leona or Uru'Baen, since there's more likely to be action in those cities. Also, how does it take a decade to notice someone's not aging? If her hair didn't go grey at all, I would be suspicious. Furthermore, she's immortal, because of course she is.
That, along with her strange and varied powers—of which you will learn more in my History—leads me to speculate that perhaps she is not entirely human.
Obviously.
If not (if perhaps she is half-elf, for example), then she has disguised herself most effectively, for on the surface, she appears human in full. She is very short, though, so I would not discount the possibility
that she is part dwarf.
That's dwarfist.
I saw her bathing her feet one time, and she has the normal number of toes, but that, in and of itself, proves nothing.
Then why did you include it? This letter is long enough as it is.
Another possibility, and one I shudder to contemplate, is that she is neither human nor elf nor dwarf nor some combination thereof. It is an outlandish idea, I know, but I cannot help but consider it. Could she be one of the Grey Folk?
If so, good thing they went extinct.
Could she be part werecat (for they do seem unusually partial to her)?
Really? She cursed their king.
Or is she something else entirely? Is she perhaps more akin to the “Inarë,” assuming that what Eragon saw was real and they actually exist? That is the most frightening thought of all. It does not explain everything about her, but it would explain more than any other theory.
So the Guntera thing Ergy saw could be part of a hidden race? See, this actually could be interesting, so of course this is never mentionede in the Cycle.
Whatever the truth may be, I would advise every Voice and Eye to keep watch for her in the future. She does not know who we are, I think (I hope), and I believe it important to learn as much as we can about her. Where is she from? Does she have estates elsewhere?
Why would Angela need estates? She just wanders around and appears when the Plot says so.
And most important, what is she capable of?
Whatever the author wants.
Of Roran Stronghammer, I have nothing new to add. I would guess you know more about his activities in Palancar Valley than I do here in Ilirea.
Once again, Paolini gives a fan the metaphorical finger.
And that, I believe, is all. Any other questions you have should be answered within this History. If not, I of course will be happy to revise or clarify.
Which is more than can be said for Paolini.
I would note that the name of Nasuada’s kingdom was by far the most aggravating aspect of writing the latter part of the manuscript. By all rights, her realm ought to be known as the Varden Kingdom, even as the Broddring Kingdom was named after the Broddrings. I put the idea to Nasuada myself, but she refused. She said that the Varden Kingdom was too similar in sound and meaning to Du Weldenvarden, and that she did not want it to seem as if we are vassals of the elves.
HAHAHAHAHA! Too late.
Well, in that I suppose she is right. The next logical step would be to name the kingdom (or rather queendom, if one is being precise) after Nasuada or her family. However, she also refused to give her name to the kingdom, as she said that would be presumptuous, and as of yet, she has no family name. If she were to marry one who did, that would of course solve the problem.
Presumptuous, like giving a butcher's daughter a valuable dowry without consulting anyone? And isn't her last name Ajihadsdaughter, keeping with naming traditions?
Ultimately, the people themselves may decide this question for us, but in the meantime, it provided me with no end of irritation. My solution, as you will see, was simply to refer to the country as “her land” or “her kingdom,” which—while inelegant—at least has the virtue of simplicity.
This is a terrible idea. The elves have a queen, and Surda might get one. Furthermore, you want a name to go down in the history books. Also, this whole thing smells like Paolini couldn't be arsed to come up with a name himself. And, they could name the kingdom after the Broddrings, like Nas renamed Uru'baen.
If you have any thoughts upon the matter, I would be most interested to hear them.
As for myself, I’m doing well, as is Helen, better than ever before. Our business prospers, and I feel as if we might actually have a chance of living out our old age in peace and comfort, a fate that hardly seemed possible last year.
Well, maybe if you hadn't given supplies to terrorists there wouldn't be a problem, now would there?
I would still like to visit Ellesméra or Tronjheim, and it may be that our trading will take us there. But for the present, I have had enough traveling. My days of adventure are over, I hope, and now it is time to devote myself to learning and contemplation, ever my favorite pursuits.
And what of you, old friend? All fares well at the Reliquary? Have your roses given you a good harvest of blossoms this year? And what of Brother Hern’s illumination? Has he finished the fourth part of the book yet, or is he still struggling with the capitals at the beginnings of all those chapters
ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz...
I am most eager to know what you think of this History. I confess to feeling equal parts pride and trepidation upon sending it off: pride on account of the size and scope of the manuscript, and trepidation because I know that it, like all large works, is of a necessity imperfect.
Case in point: the IC.
A poem may be without flaws, but an epic never.
Well, not Paolini's poems.
In darkness and in light,
Jeod Longshanks
Why does Jeod have the name Longshanks anyway. Feel free to spectulate in the comments.
PS. I forgot; nothing else of the Ra’zac or the Lethrblaka has been seen anywhere within Surda or Nasuada’s realm. Hopefully, this will remain so for many years to come.
But we don't have the worry about the bloodthirsty dragons at all. Also, I imagine any Lethrblaka would be staying the hell away after hearing about the sociopathic, genocidal lunatic of Aglag.
PPS. No, Galbatorix’s body was never found. It seems inconceivable to me, though, that he could still be alive. If he did survive, he seems to have no interest in retaking his throne. In either event, I do not think we need worry about him again.
You never had to worry about Galby anyway. What's new?
Edit: I couldn't get the cut tag to work. Sorry.
