Black/Gold Brick Commentary

[mara_dienne459]

In which a Sue Sword is made. Because what good is a hero if he doesn't have his sword? If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!

 Chapter Fifty-One: Mind Over Metal

 

This chapter opens with Rhunon yelling at Eragon about the fact he’s got a lump of Speshul Metal in his arms, which he unceremoniously drops at her feet. She wants to know where he found it, so he tells her where, and Rhunon doesn’t say anything about how the fuck could Eragon find this shit and she couldn’t. Instead, she crouches by the ore and sexually harasses the metal by caressing it over and over again, and tells Eragon he was either an idiot or very brave for doing what he did to the murder tree. Saphira blows all of that off with a simple question: is there enough metal there to make a sword? Rhunon says yes, indeed. In fact there’s enough for several swords, if she can trust her experience. Except that Rhunon is only going to make one sword and fuck every other Rider that comes along in the future. They don’t get special, individual swords made specifically for them; they have to pick from the “used” pile of swords and Rhunon may or may not adjust the sword for the person. They don’t even get to rename their swords.

 

Anyway, Rhunon gets all excited about the prospect of playing with this new toy, so she jumps to her feet and claps her hands and says let’s get to it! Eragon then reminds her of her oath, but she brushes that off completely by saying not to think about it. She asks when Eragon and Saphira need to get back to the Varden. Eragon says that they should’ve been back by now. Rhunon thinks about it and then says she’ll just have to do a rush job. That means using magic to shorten the process. Oh, and Eragon and Saphira are going to help, too. She promises Eragon that he’ll have his brand new phallic symbol by tomorrow morning. Then she picks up the ore and carries it over to the bench where she’d been sitting earlier. Eragon strips down because he doesn’t want to ruin his clothes, so sure, why not forge a sword bare-chested, but Rhunon gives him some of her clothes - a “tight-fitting jerkin” and an apron treated in such a way that it’s impervious to fire - so damn, no disfiguring scars or anything like that. Eragon then asks her about gloves but she laughs at him and disparages all smiths by saying “only a clumsy smith uses gloves”.

 

Or a smith that doesn’t want to burn his/her hands when they’re plying their craft. That shit is dangerous all around, and if you aren’t careful, you could lose a few fingers. Or your hand. Or you could burn yourself to the point you lose fingers. Or your hand.

 

Rhunon then brings Eragon to a chamber set within one of the trees nearby her house. Or is her house. I’m not really sure. In this chamber are bags of charcoal and piles of clay bricks. The two of them use magic to carry out several hundred bricks and set them up near the forge, then do the same with the bags of charcoal, which are apparently the size of a full-grown man. To be fair, I can’t call that on being excessive because I don’t know if such bags are needed for the smelting process, but my gut says that’s super excessive. Anyway, once everything is arranged just to Rhunon’s liking, she and Eragon build a smelter. Rhunon refuses to let magic be used to create this smelter, so they have to labor by hand, and it takes forever. The construction is described in a big paragraph, but I’m not going to go into it. It’s not really important. They get it built and then Rhunon goes to get a pair of bellows which they then attach to the holes at the base of this smelter’s trough. They stop to have a bit of a snack and then Rhunon gets back to work by throwing some branches into the trough, lighting them on fire with magic, and then starts building up the fire.

 

At Rhunon’s cue, Eragon then takes the magic ore and puts it in the trough. Once it’s in the fire, he starts shoveling charcoal on top of everything. Once that’s done, he grabs the bellows and starts to pump it, as Rhunon uses the bellows on the other side of the smelter, so they can supply the fire with fresh air and get it to burn even hotter. We’re then reminded that Saphira’s in the scene because she starts to sparkle because of the fire, and she says that she could help this go faster by breathing fire on the ore to melt it. Rhunon agrees but says if they melt the ore too quickly, then the metal won’t combine with the charcoal and become the perfect metal for a sword. Besides, Saphira’s got a job later. With the intermission over, we focus on Eragon being all shiny and sweaty because it’s hard work pumping those bellows. Then we’re told that every now and then, he or Rhunon would stop using the bellows and tossing more charcoal into the mix. Eragon finds the work monotonous so he loses track of time and he stops paying attention, so it comes as a shock to Eragon when Rhunon finally tells him to stop. Eragon then helps Rhunon shovel the coals out of the smelter and into a barrel of water that magically appeared out of nowhere. When they finally get to the pool of metal at the bottom of the trough, and we’re told that the slag and other impurities having magically run off during the process (I’m not an expert, but I don’t think that the slag and impurities just magically disappear because the metal has been quietly melting under a super-hot fire and not doing much else), Rhunon then tosses some white ash onto the metal and goes to take a break. Eragon joins her and asks what they’re doing now. Rhunon says they’re going to wait. Eragon asks for what. Rhunon just waves her hand at the sky and says they have to wait for dusk.

 

Why the fuck do they have to wait for dusk? Is this how Rhunon made all the swords? Waiting for dusk every time she had to make a stupid sword? When she could take her time on the sword and spend weeks on a single blade?

 

Rhunon explains that she wants to wait for dusk because it needs to be dark when they play with the metal so they can judge its color. Judge its color? Seriously? Why? Does the metal suddenly turn the color of the dragon during this process? For that matter, how did the swords go from plain silver metal to the same color of the Rider’s dragon? There’s no explanation for that, is there? Oh, and, uh, Rhunon also says the metal needs time to cool down so it’ll be soft and easy to work with. Rhunon then takes a minute to play with her hair and asks Eragon questions about his fighting style, if he uses one hand or two. Eragon basically says both, and goes on to explain why. He wants a longer hilt.

 

I’m pretty sure all men want a longer hilt, but you know, it’s what you can do with it that matters, not the size.

 

Rhunon asks him about a true two-handed sword and Eragon says no, because it would be too big to fight with indoors. True... except I’m fairly certain that the next time Eragon actually uses his sword to fight, it’s outside. Or it’s in the castle at Uru’baen, which is fuck-off huge, because the front hallway can fit Saphira with room left over for Thorn and Shruikan combined. So. Anyway, Rhunon agrees with Eragon’s assessment for a two-handed sword being too big to use inside, and then asks him if he wants a hand-and-a-half sword. Eragon thinks about Murtagh’s original sword and smiles, so he agrees to that type of sword. How long would he like the blade? No longer than Zar’roc’s. Curved or straight? Straight. Preferences for the guard? Nope, no preferences. They continue talking about the sword and when Eragon says he’d like to make an aesthetic change to the sword, Rhunon laughs at him and calls him an idiot. She doesn’t want to make a pretty blade. A sword is a tool and if a tool is beautiful then it’s beautiful because it’s useful.

 

I’ve never seen any tool (other than a sword or knife or some other sort of weaponry) that was actually “beautiful”. A wrench isn’t beautiful. A screwdriver isn’t beautiful. They’re both useful tools, but they don’t fall under (admittedly in my opinion) the purview of “beautiful”.

 

She continues talking about how a sword that couldn’t be a sword would forever be ugly in her eyes, no matter how much gilt is glued to the sword. She pouts a little bit and then mumbles about the sword being suited for the harsh melee of a battlefield as well as fighting in tight spaces. Something that could be worn for all occasions, of a middling length, with a longer than average hilt. Eragon mentions it’s gonna be a sword for murdering innocent people - I mean, for killing Galbatorix. Rhunon agrees with that and says therefore the sword will have to be well-protected against magic. She starts talking to herself about the sword design and then starts taking Eragon’s measurements. Then she grabs a poker, tosses it to Eragon, and has him demonstrate for her some moves Brom taught him. She gets frustrated with that and grabs another poker for herself, whereupon she and Eragon “swordfight” with the pokers. This goes on for a paragraph before the two idiots break the pokers, and Rhunon finally gets an idea of what kind of sword Eragon needs.

 

Did she do this with all the Riders she made swords for? Or is Eragon just so Speshul and an Exception to Everything?

 

Anyway, Eragon asks her how she’s going to make his sword, and Rhunon says she isn’t going to make it. Eragon is. Again Eragon asks how. Is she going to give him pointers while he does the heavy lifting? Oh, no, no. She’s going to mind-rape him and puppet him around. Eragon is like wtf, if you’re puppeting me, doesn’t that mean you’re technically making the sword yourself? Rhunon gets mad at him and asks if he wants the sword made or not. Of course he wants the sword. So she says:

 

“Then refrain from pestering me with such questions. Making the sword through you is different because I think it is different. If I believed otherwise, then my oath would prevent me from participating in the process. So, unless you wish to return to the Varden empty-handed, you would be wise to remain silent on the subject.” 

 

Yes, because if we believe something is a workaround and doesn’t exactly match the oath we took, then the oath is negated. We can do whatever we want at that point. Rhunon’s oath should, rightly, prevent all avenues to her crafting a blade no matter what they are. Yet we’ve seen her making knives, which are implements of death, but since she doesn’t believe they are - nor are they swords, technically - she can still make them. All she would really have to do is likely think of a sword as an overly-large knife and voila, we don’t need this mind-meld, body snatcher moment with her and Eragon. Although, I have to admit that it’s somewhat inventive to get around her oath, but really I feel like it’s an unnecessary process that just adds a layer of unnecessary specialness to Eragon’s sword. I mean, because Eragon physically made the sword himself, every time he says the sword’s name, it catches on fire. It’s great theatrics, and for a long time I was even hoping Eragon would kill Galby in a manner echoing the way Galby killed Vrael - kicking him in the balls and then taking off his head a la Highlander with a flaming sword - but I was sorely disappointed when Galby’s death scene was plagiarized without even a hint of that flaming sword.

 

Eragon bows his head and says fine. Now it’s time to make a sword. So Rhunon has Saphira pry the metal out of the trough and break it into pieces. Saphira elephant-stomps the metal into pieces until Rhunon is happy with the size, then Rhunon grabs up the metal and takes them to the forge. There’s a whole paragraph about the metal and how it’s too soft or too hard and what pieces will be used to make what spot on the sword, but before all that can be done the remaining impurities need to be worked out.

 

I thought the impurities had been worked out during the smelting process? Good lord.

 

Saphira asks how that’ll be done. Rhunon says she’ll see in a moment and is Eragon ready to be puppeted? He says yes but he’s nervous about it. So Rhunon mind-melds with Eragon and he gets scared and is about to rabbit, until he remembers that Saphira is sitting there staring at him and she’ll save him if he needs it. Sure she will. Rhunon eventually takes over Eragon’s body and she tells him to relax. He says sure. Rhunon then starts to manipulate his body so she can get used to puppeting him around. Eragon freaks out about it. For example, when Rhunon missteps and he thinks he’s about to fall, he takes control of his body again to keep himself from falling flat on his face. Rhunon gets pissed at him and tells him to knock it off. She says that if he freaks out at the wrong moment while they’re forging the blade, he could hurt himself badly. Eragon gets pissed back and says Rhunon could hurt him if she isn’t careful. Instead of snapping at him and telling him to forget his sword, she tells him to have patience and she’ll have this body-sharing thing mastered by the time it’s dark. There’s a time skip and we come back not two seconds later being told exactly how Rhunon is mastering Eragon’s body.

 

Wow. That sounded wrong. So, so, so, so, so wrong.

 

She says something about Eragon’s arms being longer than hers and something about how fortunate it is that Eragon’s got elf speed and elf strength, otherwise getting this sword done in a single night would be impossible. We finally get to the swordy-maky part, but I’m not going to get into it because it’s not important, and Eragon mentions how he’s privy to Rhunon’s thoughts and feelings because they’re mind-melded. Her knowledge astounds him and she’s super great at her job. But she’s unhappy. Eventually she says she’s unhappy with the quality of her work because she can’t control Eragon properly, so she decides she can’t make a proper sword because her control isn’t perfect. Before Eragon can try his hand at reasoning with Rhunon, Saphira butts in and says something about the artist isn’t their tools and Rhunon’s a smart lady. She can figure out how to compensate. Rhunon replies:

 

Inconvenience? snorted Rhunön. I have no more coordination than a fledgling. I am a stranger in a stranger’s house. Still grumbling, she subsided into mental deliberations that were incomprehensible to Eragon, then said, Well, I may have a solution, but I warn you, I shall not continue if I am unable to maintain my usual level of craftsmanship. 

 

Then what’s the point of even trying this method in the first place? You had to know that using a mind-melded proxy wasn’t going to get you your high standard results. You should’ve practiced the motor control instead of sparring with him to figure out his murder implement. Or, you know, just thought of the sword as a butter knife or decoration to go on a wall and then maybe you wouldn’t be in the situation you’re in right now. Maybe you would be able to do all of this yourself instead of puppeteering Eragon to do it for you. There are so many other solutions, and each one more elegant than the current one. I really wonder what would’ve happened if this puppet thing didn’t work out. Would Rhunon tell Eragon so sad too bad? Or would there be another solution to make his accoutrement? It does rather amuse me that everything works out so well for Eragon despite all these “setbacks”. He doesn’t have to worry about shit, even though the prose tries so hard to make you worry about him. 

 

So Rhunon gets back to puppeteering Eragon around and it quickly becomes apparent that none of what was previously discussed mattered because everything turns out perfectly. So blah blah blah sword making blah blah blah Saphira helps when Rhunon tells her to blah blah blah more sword making... this goes on for a while with every step of the sword making process described. Did you know that Paolini ripped this from a book detailing how Japanese swordsmiths make the katanas? Yep. He read a book on how Japanese swordsmiths make katanas and decided it would be so super awesome for Eragon’s sword to be made in the same way.

 

Of course, he ignored that only a master swordsmith could make the katana, and becoming a master takes years of apprenticeship, and how important katanas are to the culture and what katanas represent... 

 

But yeah. Eragon gets a cool European-style sword made in the traditional Japanese way.

 

Blah blah Eragon compares Rhunon to Horst and how Rhunon is doing things in minutes that Horst would have taken hours to accomplish - and oh, by the way, Rhunon is singing this entire time and infusing spells into the sword via her singing - and then Eragon happens to notice some strange figures standing by the edge of the atrium. Saphira confirms he isn’t seeing things by mentioning that they’re not alone. Eragon asks who they are, so Saphira sends him an image of Maud, that werecat lady they met in Book Two, who’s in her human form, and two small elves. One is a boy, the other is a girl, and they’re both super beautiful. They’re also glowing. Eragon asks Rhunon who they are, and Rhunon replies that they’re Alanna and Dusan, the only elf kids in existence. They’re twelve years old. Eragon says they’re different from everyone else he’s met so far. Rhunon replies:

 

Our children are special, Shadeslayer. They are blessed with certain gifts—gifts of grace and gifts of power—which no grown elf can hope to match. As we age, our blossom withers somewhat, although the magic of our early years never completely abandons us. 

 

I feel like this is a copout to try and make the elves seem less powerful than they really are. These two are twelve years old, so they would never see anything beyond the forest until they were full into adulthood, at which point they stop looking like Area 52 escapees and more like the usual fantasy elves that we’re used to. But I feel like this fails because we also know that the elves are more powerful than anyone can hope to match and can easily destroy anyone and anything they come up against with their little toe. So it makes me wonder just how OP are they in childhood compared to how OP they are in adulthood? Like... if these two kids took to the battlefield, would there be any need for an army? Especially since elves are born knowing everything about themselves plus the ancient language? It just seems strange.

 

Rhunon is soon done talking and they get back to making the sword. Blah blah blah, Rhunon heats the sword over one of Saphira’s nostrils. Blah blah blah they finally finish and what’s left is a black blade. They take a break, and then Rhunon uses Eragon to grind the blade, plane the blade, and refine the blade. When that’s done, Rhunon builds are charcoal fire in the forge, and while she’s waiting for that, she makes a slurry out of clay, ash, pumice, and juniper sap. She paints the blade with that shit, and then we’re told that where she puts it on thick is where the sword will be softer. More magic, Eragon heats the painted blade in the fire, and then they plunge it in the trough of water beside the forge. Now the sword is pearl-grey and Rhunon repeats the process. Eragon tells us he expects Rhunon to let go of his body and take over herself, but she keeps a firm hold on him and she starts using him to polish the blade. Blah blah the sword is very pretty but it’s not blue. There’s never a single mention during this entire exchange where the sword is mentioned as being BLUE.

 

Anyway, eventually Eragon fucks up and Rhunon says it’s enough and she releases Eragon. Eragon, unsurprisingly, doesn’t react kindly to this.

 

Shocked by her sudden absence, Eragon swayed on his seat and nearly lost his balance before he regained control over his rebellious limbs. “But we’re not finished!” he protested, turning toward Rhunön. The night sounded unnaturally quiet to him without the strains of their extended duet. 

 

He sounds like a whiny kid complaining about how his life isn’t fair because his project partner wants to take a smoke break. Like he should have gotten a clue when Rhunon said “enough” and wondered if they were really finished, considering how his sudden onset exhaustion is described. If you’re that tired, such that you nearly fall from a sitting position your thoughts are also not the straightest of things. Besides, him asking if they were finished, despite the obvious unfinished-ness of the blade, would sound better than him pitching a fit that they aren’t done and Rhunon better join minds with him again and finish the goddamn sword now because he wants it now. Dude, she’s already bending the rules for you, so shut up and accept it. She knows better than you do, she knows what’s needed more than you do, so defer to her experience and just do what she says without complaining. 

 

Rhunon gets up and tells Eragon to go away because she doesn’t need him anymore. Go get some sleep. Eragon protests, but Rhunon says he’s tired and even with her power, he’s liable to fuck up his sword. The part she can’t do has been done, so she’s going to play with the sword because she can now. She tells him to go into her house and make himself at home. Eragon hesitates but ultimately obeys. Saphira says she’ll remember for him, whatever that means, and that he can go sleep without worrying about missing anything. So Eragon heads to Rhunon’s house, stops in the doorway and turns around to look at Maud and the elf kids. He waves at them. Maud smiles but the kids do nothing but stare at him, and all three collectively give him the creeps. Eragon hurries inside and throws himself down on the bed, and the chapter ends.

 

Comments

[epistler]

We don't need no education, we don't need no thought control - HEY! TEACHER! Leave them kids alone!

[mara_dienne459]

After all, you’re just another brick in the wall.