The Epistler's New Spork
Dec. 9th, 2018 05:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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antishurtugal_rebornAnyway, so the latest victim to go under the Epistler's hammer - and then under the wheels of the Clue Bus - is Eldest.
As it turned out there was plenty to unpack. So without further ado... let the wild ride begin!
Or maybe not.
Part One: Heroism, UR Doing It Wrong
Don’t you just hate it when you read a book, like it, and then find out the sequel is garbage? Because that happened to a lot of people who read Eldest, aka Eragon 2: Electric Boogaloo. I remember those heady days of the early 2000s, when Eragon first hit the shelves quite well. People were wowed by the fact that a(n alleged) 15 year old had published a novel. Other teens wanted to check it out, and the critics were forgiving. When some people – including yours truly, then young(er) and stupid(er) – pointed out that it was excruciatingly unoriginal to the point of outright plagiarism in at least one instance (the bridge crossing scene, lifted almost word for word out of The Ruby Knight), a lot of people countered with the fact that Paolini was just starting out, and he was young, so we should give him some credit. Surely he could only blossom from here.
Unfortunately, succeeding young and receiving a lot of adulation for it has never done anyone any good – even less so when the success came with being shielded from criticism, which we all know full-well was what happened with Paolini, as his family did everything in their power to silence anyone who said anything less than complimentary about the supposed wunderkind’s first effort. Which I guess in hindsight makes sense – he was after all a minor (well, according to them 19 = 15, so…), and some people were saying some pretty nasty things about him personally, and they probably believed that allowing criticism would hurt sales. As it was, all it ever did was draw even more attention to the book. And let’s face it – most of us paid for a copy. Not me, though. Got mine from the library. Sequel was given to me by someone who got it in a giveaway and didn’t want it.
The no doubt completely unintended result of all this was that – going on his interviews of the time – Paolini developed a dangerously big ego, attracted a group of dedicated “haters” out for revenge, and became convinced that he was the next Tolkien. A genius the likes of whom had never been seen before.
Which, along with his lack of experience, is almost certainly precisely why the follow-up to Eragon massively sucked.
I remember reading it back in the day with a growing sense of… this is an odd word to use, but I try to be honest – a sense of betrayal. I’d found the first book mediocre and was irritated at Paolini because of all the clueless, arrogant things he said in his interviews. But reading Eldest flat-out enraged me. The first book was mostly just harmless fluff. The sequel, however, was an overwritten plotless mess. Reading it, I became painfully aware that it had been written by someone who was trying way too hard – trying to show off how grand and deep his writing was. Purple prose, attempts at “deep” themes, more ripping off of Tolkien – the works. Book one was clearly written by someone who was just having fun. Book two was written by someone who was trying to show off.
I burned my copy in a temper and swore never to pick up another of Paolini’s books again (a promise I kept for over a decade and only broke for sporkage reasons much more recently). And apparently a lot of other people did the same. This is a book that turned quite a few fans into critics, which in turn fueled Antishurtugal-that-was as disgruntled ex fans joined in order to express their disappointment. And, yes, anger.
Protip: If you ever become a professional in the entertainment industry, never underestimate the fans. Because if you don’t deliver on what you promised, they’re going to let you know it. Sometimes they’ll just stop buying your sequels, but if you act like a smug entitled asshole while you’re letting them down, you are going to get it in the neck. I’m here thinking of Anne Rice and Laurel K Hamilton – Paolini at least had the sense not to throw a public shit fit over being criticised. That is assuming he even knew about it at the time. (He left that to his sainted father).
Either way Eldest still lost him a lot of fans, and the next two even more so. But here’s where it all started to go wrong. Recently I got to thinking that it’s been a very long time since I read it - twelve years to be precise - and that it might be interesting and productive to look at it again with a more experienced eye.
Well, here goes nothing.
The book opens with a cute little thankyou to the fans, and ends with the old familiar “May your swords stay sharp!”, translated into the AL. A decade later and Paolini is still doing this. Personally I find it irritating and self-indulgent, but to each their own. I guess it’s annoying to me because it looks like he’s flaunting the fact that he – ahahahah – “created a language”.
After that comes an unnecessary recap of the events of the first book. Eragon really wasn’t that complicated, and this could easily have been covered by means of a little dialogue in the actual meat of the book. Even more annoyingly, it goes on for four solid pages and goes into a fucktonne of pointless detail. Essentially, it’s a synopsis. A book synopsis is for sending to prospective publishers, not for slapping on the front of the sequel. Unfortunately this would become a common thing from this point forward.
It ends with the “grand” declaration that “Gray-eyed Destiny now weaves apace”, war is coming and soon Eragon will have to “confront his one true enemy: King Galbatorix”.
First up – the thing about “gray-eyed Destiny” makes no fucking sense. How does destiny have eyes, grey or otherwise? And how exactly does anything “weave apace”? The whole sentence is complete nonsense. It’s trying to sound grand and important, but it’s just meaningless. As for the last bit, it’s just plain misleading. It gives you the impression that Galby will make an appearance in this book and Eragon will have to fight him. This is a false impression that will be reinforced later on when Oromis warns Eragon that there’s a chance the King will be present at the climax. Instead of which he’s not in the book at all, and he won’t be in the next one either. His presence and impact will remain precisely zero. So in a sense, Paolini is basically just lying here by promising an epic confrontation that isn’t going to happen.
But enough of that – it’s time for chapter one!
The chapter opens with another example of Paolini trying to sound “deep”, as we begin with our… uh, hero thinking that “The songs of the dead are the lamentations of the living”. In book one Eragon was a semi-relatable naïve kid, but now he’s trying to be Deep™, and will continue to do so for the rest of the book. With less than stellar results, to put it mildly. As for the thought itself, it’s meaningless. Style over substance, which pretty well sums up this entire book. I’m not even going to bother trying to analyse it – it’s a word salad.
As for Eragon himself, he’s currently wandering around the battlefield at Farting Durr, for no apparent reason. We’re informed that he is conveniently unable to help with the cleanup because his back injury hurts. So… why is he on the battlefield, then? What’s he trying to accomplish? Because so far the answer seems to be nothing, other than spout a pretentious Ice Cream Koan. We also get an eye-rolling moment of sexism, as Eragon sees “keening women” removing their dead menfolk from the mud. Because it can’t be an organised clean-up team doing this. No, it has to be poor helpless crying women. Because Paolini is trying to mimic a tiresomely old-fashioned kind of epic fantasy, in which women exist to prop up the men and provide dramatic atmosphere by crying a lot when someone dies.
Eragon thinks about how he’s supposedly fully healed, but keeps getting “terrible pains” in his spine. Here, Paolini has taken a step in the right direction – his hero has a problem, and it’s essentially made him handicapped, and he can’t do anything to fix it. Nor is there any prospect of anyone else being able to deal with it for him. In a word, he is now vulnerable. And readers like that. You can sympathise with a vulnerable character. Hell, I can tell you from personal experience that making my characters vulnerable and putting them in seemingly impossible situations with no escape ladder makes me sympathise with them more just from the perspective of being their author.
Eragon also thinks about how it’s been three days since he killed Durza and now people have started calling him Shadeslayer. And I’m going to be childish here and point out that if you move the imaginary space by just one letter, Eragon’s new grand title is Shades Layer. Ooh la la!
Look, I need a snicker every now and then, okay? Besides, we all know damn well Eragon is so deep in the closet he owns real estate in Narnia.
Eragon continues to be vulnerable, and even comes across as genuinely traumatised, as he thinks about how what he’s been through has changed him, and he feels “fragile, as if a sudden shock would shatter his reconstructed body and consciousness”. Yes! You’re doing it right, Paolini! Stick with it!
(He won’t stick with it).
We finally learn that he’s here for a bit of grisly tourism, and he mopes about how it turns out battle isn’t actually glorious or heroic after all. Instead it’s mostly just gross and unpleasant.
So of course he then proceeds to pick up a tooth and start playing with it. Well, that’s… a really great way to follow up on deciding that killing and death are bad and horrible. By treating a dead guy’s body part like a free yo-yo!
At this point Jormundr, the due to be serially abused second in command of the Varden, shows up. It would seem he’s received a note from Ajihad, as he’s holding “a parchment note”.
Fun fact: “Parchment” is not just a fancy word for “paper”. Medieval parchment was made from carefully prepared dried animal skins. Nowadays you can pick up a twenty-page spiral bound notebook from the supermarket for a dollar, but parchment was pretty damn labour intensive to make, and they didn’t have factories. So I’m willing to bet it was a damn sight more expensive than modern day paper.
Therefore, I find it pretty unlikely that anyone would be wasting the stuff just to scribble down a note. Does Jordy even know how to read in the first place? Paolini is awfully inconsistent about who is and is not literate in this world, as we shall see.
Anyway, so the message is that Ajihad is coming back and wants Eragon to be there, for unspecified reasons. He doesn’t say Aji wants to talk to him or anything like that – he just wants him to be there. Well, that’s not contrived at all.
Apparently Aji has been off hunting off-brand Orcs for the last three days, and was pissed to find out his daughter Nausea – oops, Nasuada – disobeyed his orders to evacuate with the other women and children and “secretly fought among the Varden’s archers” instead. Yes, I’m sure nobody noticed literally the only black woman in the entire trilog- uh, Cycle – fighting amongst a bunch of white men. Also, Nas is an archer now? Actually, what kind of weapon does she use? There’s the odd mention throughout the series of her having fought in battles, but you never actually see her use a weapon. Or indeed, even hold one. I guess that would be unladylike?
As for Murtagh, he went with Aji because he’s still keen to prove that he’s on the side of alleged Good. Eragon, clueless as always, is actually surprised that people like Murtagh now. Well, he only fought on their side and his only “crime” is being related to a Bad Guy, so I gotta say that’s pretty shocking. Moron. In an ironic moment Ergs thinks of the Varden’s previous dislike of Murtagh as “petty hate”, which became unimportant when there’s no much work to do.
Why is this ironic? Because in the very next book Ergs is going to risk his own life and use magic to torture somebody because of his “petty hate” toward the victim. Eragon is amazingly good at noticing things, then failing to learn anything from them.
Along the way, Ergs (so far Saphira has said and done precisely nothing, by the way) meets up with Orik and Arya. Arya is wearing a bandage on her arm which is apparently reflective, since it “gleam[s]” and apparently reflects onto her hair. That’s one shiny bandage. However, I must ask – why does she need a bandage in the first place? We later learn that she has the magic to heal damn near anything. So why didn’t she just fix herself up? This is just one small piece of evidence among a whole lot of other evidence which suggests Paolini didn’t “meticulously” plan squat.
Also, Arya’s eyes “flash”. Help me out here, people – have you ever seen anybody actually do this? What is it even supposed to be a metaphor for? The closest I’ve seen is when a friend of mine got a very intense stare while pissed off at someone.
We get a quick infodump about how she broke the giant sapphire, which “allowed Eragon to kill Durza”. Instead of just killing the guy herself. Quite frankly I’d say she contributed way more to the death of Durza than Ergs ever did. Which is of course why she’s getting zero credit for it. Because, y’know, she’s a woman. She exists as a prop for Our Brave Hero and nothing more.
Ergs hangs around with Orik, apparently while speaking to Saphira “in the peace of his mind”. What about? I have no idea, because we’re not privy to it. Saphira remains an utterly irrelevant character to the scene, and this will ultimately become the norm.
We’re informed that they hang around doing nothing for half an hour. The… suspense… I can’t take any more… Zzzz.
Yes, I turn into a man while I'm asleep. You got a problem with that?
*snort* Huh? What? Oh, right – this book.
For some damn reason, none of them make use of this half hour to actually go the rest of the way to the tunnel entrance where Aji is supposed to arrive. There’s literally no reason for them not to do this. They just wait at a distance – out of earshot, no less – for no reason whatsoever. When Aji finally shows up with some of his guys, a bunch of Off-Brand Orcs show up by way of a random encounter and attack them. And we now learn that Ergs is so far away he can’t even see what’s going on properly.
So clearly, the only reason he decided to hang back like this was for reasons of authorial convenience – so Aji can die without Ergs having to take any of the blame for it. This despite the fact that Ergs wasn’t there when the guy needed him, and is so hopelessly stupid that he’s not even carrying his sword.
The reactions here are rather interesting. Ergs jumps on Saphira, Orik and Arya run over to help… and Jordy runs in the opposite direction, toward the barracks. Yes, that’s correct. They have a fucking dragon with them, plus a super duper powerful elf chick, and Jordy’s best friend is in mortal peril, and his reaction to this is to… run away. With the figleaf excuse that he did it to go get help. Yeah, I’m not seeing that hold up in a court of law. You want Aji to die so you can take over, Jordan.
Despite the fact that Eragon is on a dragon, he still manages to “watch helplessly” while the urgals kill everyone. What, is Saphira flying in slow motion? Some sort of magic thing happens, and afterwards only the four named characters (well, if you count the Twins as “named”) are still standing. The urgals herd them away into the tunnel while Eragon yells “no” a few times dramatically and otherwise does absolutely nothing useful.
Saphira suddenly unfreezes and lands, and we get a whacking great continuity error: Ajihad was earlier stated to be still standing when the urgals ran off… but now he’s suddenly lying on the ground dying. When did that happen?
Aji is surrounded by dead urgals he supposedly killed himself. There’s no earthly way Eragon could know Aji killed them – he just knows. Somehow. Magically.
He also magically knows somehow that Aji’s wounds can’t be healed. Bear in mind, he hasn’t even taken a look at them and Aji is still wearing his armour. But nope – “no one could heal such wounds”. Then Arya shows up, and also instantly decides that Aji can’t be saved.
Bear in mind, after this both of these characters will blithely go around healing all kinds of nasty injuries, sometimes even on themselves. But right now, faced with a badly injured Leader Of the Rebellion™, they don’t even try. Hell, Eragon doesn’t even do the old “rip the bottom off a handy tunic to make a bandage”. Instead the two of them just sit there and do nothing. Fucking nothing. Some heroes.
Ajihad mumbles some clichéd dialogue about how Eragon must protect the Varden, and then snuffs it the instant he’s finished.
You know what dying people usually say immediately before passing on?
Nothing. (No really - I've talked to dying people and they don't have much to say for themselves).
Honestly, the whole thing is so contrived it’s hilarious.
(Good grief, I’m only ten freaking pages into this thing).
Eragon gets very upset about all this, which is a bit of an overreaction given that he’s known Ajihad for less than a week. Arya then… blesses Aji “in a ripple of the ancient language”. Now, despite what some people think, blessings aren’t necessarily religious by default. But I have no idea how you’d give one in the AL given that it’s supposed to be a language that’s literally true in all ways, to the point that you cannot tell a lie in it. How, then, are you supposed to express anything in the abstract while speaking it? Hell, how are you supposed to say anything in the AL without it being either a spell or an unbreakable oath? Well, go on wondering because Paolini never bothered to explain it (this despite having established in the previous book that it’s possible to use magic by accident, just by speaking the AL).
Also, I’ve listened to an awful lot of people talking in all kinds of different languages, and I have never yet heard it “ripple” in any sense of the word. This is another example of the look of the thing taking precedence over meaning and substance.
Arya then declares that this is going to cause some problems (and of course her voice is “musical”), adding that she’ll do what she can to help out. Naturally she says it as pretentiously as possible, and even throws in an “alas” just for the hell of it.
Eragon just sits there, and Saphira finally gets to say something – namely that this little incident really sucks and also, where the heck are Murtagh and the Twins? Ergs runs over to the tunnel entrance and sees a trail of blood. He concludes that the urgals must have kidnapped Murtagh… and then starts making excuses as to why he shouldn’t have to go after them. He can’t go alone! He’ll just get lost! He’s too slow! Saphira wouldn’t fit in there! (Not that she’ll have any problems fitting literally anywhere else after this scene, including the freaking kitchen).
So he sends Arya instead. And then sits on his ass and does nothing.
This is not how an heroic character behaves.
For whatever reason it’s clear Paolini didn’t want to write a scene in which Eragon tries in vain to rescue his best pal. So he came up with a string of contrived excuses to get himself off the hook, and didn’t realise that he made his hero look like a lazy, cowardly, uncaring piece of shit in the process. A real person – and especially someone as stupidly reckless as Eragon has previously been written to be – wouldn’t stop to think about any of this shit. An actual hero would already be halfway down the tunnel, personal risk be damned. At worst, the hero might ask Arya to come with him before running to the rescue of his friend.
But nope. He’s endangering the life of the woman he busted his ass rescuing in the last book and clearly wants to bang, and doing absolutely nothing to help the guy who’s supposed to be his best friend. Instead he just sits there and whines internally about how much everything sucks.
This passivity on Eragon’s part is due to become a recurring issue for the entire rest of the series, unfortunately. Now he doesn’t have Brom pulling him around by the nose any more, his approach to having problems – now and forever – will be to sit around wangsting about it until someone else fixes it for him. This is also why he’s easily one of the most frustratingly useless protagonists I’ve ever come across.
A good protagonist drives the plot. A bad one is pushed around by the plot.
At this point Orik shows up. He acts like a walking stereotype for a bit, and then proves he must have read plenty of trashy fantasy novels because he actually asks Eragon if he heard Aji’s Last Words. A thought which in a world put together by sensible people wouldn’t so much have crossed the guy’s mind. I mean really.
Eragon, beginning another trend of keeping secrets from other people for no reason, says he’ll only tell “the right person”. Because… it’s very shocking and important that Aji asked him to take care of the Varden, apparently. Clearly Ergy has taken one of Brom’s lessons to heart: Keep secrets from your friends for no reason whatsoever other than “because I can”.
Then Orik asks where Arya is, and Eragon just casually points toward the super dangerous tunnel with a big trail of blood coming out of it. Someone else might react to this with “holy fuckshit she’s DEAD??”, but Orik just shrugs and joins Eragon in the much more important sitting on thumbs-a-thon.
After this Jordy also shows up with some other guys. He apologises to Aji’s corpse, and says this wouldn’t have happened if he’d gotten here sooner. Dude, you took one look and ran in the opposite direction. Don’t lie to me – I’m on to you.
Actually, this just leads me to ask why the fuck the leader of the Varden was running around with no fucking bodyguards, and only a handful of soldiers. Because there’s a very important difference between “brave” and “let’s face it – he was just asking for it”. Much like Steve Irwin was asking for it by screwing around with deadly wildlife just to make himself look “brave”. (Seriously, fuck that guy).
You know how I would’ve handled it? I’d have had the Twins quietly assassinate Aji, say with poison, and then spirit Murtagh away in the middle of the night. Bam – not only do Eragon and Co. not look like incompetent boobs, but it’d mean opening the book with a genuine mystery, which would have meant some tension. Instead Aji’s death and Murtagh’s disappearance both happen by way of a string of ludicrously unbelievable contrivances and everyone comes out looking like a complete moron.
Oh, and supposedly Aji was Jordan’s “old friend”. Which is why he immediately rushed to his side when the crisis unfolded. Not.
Not only that, but when he’s informed about Arya having run off into danger – you know, the elven princess and ambassador whose last disappearance caused the elf queen to stop helping the Varden – he just shrugs and says they can’t do anything about it. Like… maybe sending some guys to help her?
Okay, it’s official: every named character in this scene wants Arya to die. And doesn’t give a fuck about what the elf queen will say when she finds out about it.
After this Jordan (I’m not typing out his actual name again and you can’t make me) makes a little speech about how Aji was a great guy who killed five urgals (again, how does he know this?). He also makes a passing reference to “the gods”. Which gods are they, exactly? Eragon doesn’t seem to have any religious beliefs, and nor do any of the other humans.
The speech ends with the first of many pieces of accidental innuendo, as Jordan dramatically announces that it’ll be great when they get to “have the privilege of sheathing our blades in the monsters who have slain our leader!”
Fantasy authors: please stop refer to killing someone as sheathing your blade in them. Maybe it sounded cool once upon a time, but in the time period I live in, sheathing anything in another person’s body means you’re putting your big manly penis in them. I mean okay, if it’s an urgal the horns give you something to hang onto, but this thing is supposed to be for kids.
We then get another odd moment, as the guys Jordan brought apparently take their helmets off “in homage to Ajihad”. Why? What does that mean? Why did they do that? Does Paolini even know why people do that in this universe? I’m willing to bet the answer is no. And no, I don’t expect authors to look up every damn little thing! If we did that we’d never get anything done. I just see this as an example of the general lack of thought that was put into this world, because it’s hardly an isolated incident.
Finally they pick Aji up and carry him on their shields while openly weeping. This is interesting because the rest of the time the series is written with the more modern and decidedly unfortunate attitude that men aren’t supposed to cry, and especially not in public. So this comes off as a piece of misplaced world-building to me, especially given that it will never come up again. (Though this could be because no-one else is going to die for the whole rest of the Cycle). And Eragon and Saphira just stroll off with them, leaving Arya to her fate. Thank goodness the little jerk never does get into her pants, because damn it if he doesn’t deserve all the rejections he’s going to get from her in this book.
And with that, the chapter ends.
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Date: 2018-12-09 03:22 pm (UTC)And if this is a solo spork (like kippur). I thought we were suppose to group spork it after doing eragon.
And on an unrelated note. The parchment confusion pretty much makes the elves bigger hypocrites because in ellemera erg readed the scrolls. Which pretty much breaks the rules of elf scavengers because a) they have to chop trees to make paper or b) they kill animals just for their skins (which is pretty much a jerk move as they waste the rest of the carcass and possibly show the reason why arya wears leather) to make the scroll (unless of course they were somehow made of glued leaves since I forgotten what their made off).
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Date: 2018-12-10 10:09 am (UTC)Tellya what though - I think our next big project should be a group spork of the book of short stories which comes out in just a few weeks. Now that'll be fun. >:D
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Date: 2018-12-10 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-10 11:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-10 03:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-10 06:53 am (UTC)Arya's a Goa'uld!
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Date: 2018-12-10 05:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-24 03:55 pm (UTC)The Goa'uld:
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Date: 2018-12-10 07:57 pm (UTC)I know I'm a minority opinion, but I do like a good synopsis in some circumstances. They're especially useful for fairly densely plotted books with a couple of years gap between them, hitting all the main points and meaning I don't have to spend 80-120 hours listening to the previous books just to get back up to speed. I'd also rather a clumsy author use them than try and work it naturally into the text (although here Paolini tries to do both and fails).
It's not entirely implausible. One of the great things about parchment is that it's reusable - just scrape off the ink and write something new down. The process of trimming the parchment into shape also provides off cuts. A lot will be too small to be useful, but I bet those which are perfectly sized for notes were used as such. The same goes for damaged or worn out parchment.
This is all just speculation, mind. I'm not aware of any parchment notes surviving, but that's outside my area of expertise and I might well be missing something. I do know that wax tablets were generally used for note taking and that birch bark was used for shopping lists and messages in medieval Novgorod, though. That's something I should look into.
This would have been a great time for Eragon's back spasms to start up and having him writhing and screaming in pain while crying from frustration and helplessness at being unable to go find Murtagh and pleading with Arya to leave him and go save Murtagh. Overly dramatic and contrived, sure, but it fits Paolini's style while still making Eragon relatable and heroic.
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Date: 2018-12-10 08:25 pm (UTC)Good Idea!
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Date: 2018-12-10 10:16 pm (UTC)I had figured Eldest at least had a few decent plots that could be used to create a decent movie or be covered by about 3-5 episodes in an anime series. From what I recall there are 3 interesting points in this book: 1) Murtagh gets kidnapped 2) Eragon gets new mentors 3) Murtagh becomes a dragon rider and is join force to Galbatriox because he was tortured.
Murtagh’s plot points could be worked with for the anime. I like the idea that he is doing what he is doing to protect Thorn because he cares for his dragon above all else.
I hate Eragon’s new mentors: Oromis and Glaedr. I have always kind of hated them but I will keep them in the anime. I know you haven’t gotten to them yet and I am very interested in what you have to say about them. To me, they were not interesting characters. The last book killed off Eragon’s mentor Brom so we could get new mentors this book. I mean really? I have always hated the idea of killing off mentor/parent characters just to get the story moving and this is what The Inheritance Cycle is all about.
Ajihad just have to be killed to be replaced by Nasuada is a prefect example of this. It would have been more interesting if at least Jormundr replace him. Anyway Ajihad was a little interesting. He was decent to Murtagh. He even opened his heart to trusting him. Even if the details of these plot points were not good his character arch was more interesting. What if Murtagh had ended up killing Ajihad and Hrothgar to protect his dragon? It would at least be more interesting.
As for Oromis and Glaedr, I recall them as being were boring and snobby. Glaedr was an unwanted extra dragon. This book series was suppose to be about the last 4 dragons in existence. It made the series a little interesting. I wouldn’t have minded if a wild dragon was discover after the main plot was over but instead we end up getting Glaedr, the Eldunarí, and a bunch of extra dragon eggs before Saphira even gets to find a mate. Talking about mates Glaedr really needed a better reason than being a mentor not to mate with Saphira.
Also I think “gray-eyed Destiny” refers to the Grey Folk that we never get to see in the series. I guess the Grey Folk are behind the scenes shaping the destiny of the main characters and events of the series. I am guessing Angela was suppose to be a grey
Random thought about the races in The inheritance Cycle. Would it have been better if the series had focused more on the Non-Tolkien races like shades, werecats and the ra’zac but kept all the plot points with dwarves, elves, gray folk the same? Basically so everything with the dwarves and elves still happened but we care about the other races too.
Also anyone else surprise Eragon still didn’t get to bang Arya? I mean this series kind of started off as wish fulfillment and Paolini actually didn’t grant Eragon getting the girl.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-11 12:24 am (UTC)Same here. I found them both really boring and patronising. Not meaning to abuse the term, but I get REALLY triggered by being talked down to, and Oromis and Glaedr both do it all the time. Just watching them do it to someone else is enough to piss me off, and it gets worse in the next book.
Now I think about it, maybe that's why this book in general pissed me off - reading it, it VERY much feels like Paolini is talking down to the reader with all his pretentious language and attempts at philosophy. I can't get into that.
But yes, Oromis and Glaedr were just... unnecessary. The whole reveal was predictable as hell, and they don't serve any function in the story that couldn't be replaced with a few ordinary elf mentors or even a handy library of Rider lore. That way instead of having everything spoonfed to him, Eragon would actually have to do some research and uncover the facts himself, which would make him proactive. But nope - it's passivity all the way!
Given that dragons apparently mate like cats, I agree. There was NO sensible reason for Glaedr to turn her down. All Paolini needed to do was explain that he's old and infertile, and it would have made sense. As is, it's nonsensical for creatures who apparently get it on the moment they meet to be worried about social appropriateness and whatnot. The age thing doesn't even make any sense either, because later on Saphira screws a dragon who's barely out of his egg.
It's just lazy ass writing, not to mention pretty damn heartless. Characters shouldn't be sacrificed to the plot like some sort of pagan offering; their deaths should be a natural part of the story, and come as a consequence of previous actions or circumstances or whatever. Paolini's character deaths are predictable as hell because you always know it's going to be an old guy who snuffs it while the young characters will be totally fine. Kind of ageist if you think about it, really.
I'm surprised Eragon didn't get together with Arya too, and I can't quite make up my mind as to whether this was a good or bad decision on Paolini's part. It was a bad decision in that it rendered the whole subplot pointless and pissed off the fans, but it was a good decision because them actually getting together would have been beyond ludicrous and forced, and them parting ways felt a lot more natural, except for the part where Paolini tried to make it look tragic and star-crossed.
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Date: 2018-12-11 01:04 am (UTC)Also I think Arya and Eragon separating without getting together was one of Paolini's good decisions. The characters were not there yet.
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Date: 2018-12-12 05:18 am (UTC)IRK? Eldunari-Glaedr is even more obnoxious than Glaedr-with-body because at least when he had a body he didn't whine and sulk. (The closest Paolini can manage to "grieving", apparently).
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Date: 2018-12-11 11:40 am (UTC)https://twitter.com/PaulenMichael/status/1072364145956282368
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Date: 2018-12-11 08:39 pm (UTC)And someone still needs to explain to him that a woman's boobs are not located in her armpits. That drawing is AWFUL.
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Date: 2018-12-12 05:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-12 05:44 am (UTC)(Tried to embed an image but I still haven't figured out how the hell you're supposed to do that).
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Date: 2018-12-12 06:15 am (UTC)"Dude, you've been posting that same drawing and comment for years,and Paolini has not replied or liked it once. It's not going to happen, and you're coming across as more than a little creepy and obsessive. Let it go."
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Date: 2018-12-12 06:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-11 01:23 am (UTC)I mean, I guess you could say that trying too hard is better than not trying, but Paolini tried too hard with surface trivialities in order to look like Ye Olde Epic Saga, and didn't try hard enough at developing the story and characters. It is painfully obvious that Paolini suddenly realised that he had an actual audience, and people were expecting big things from him (for some reason?) off the back of Eragon.
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Date: 2018-12-11 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-12 05:16 am (UTC)Same here. Brisingr is stupid, plotless and poorly written, but it's nowhere near as stupid, plotless and poorly written as Eldest. The Black Brick was boring and irritating, but it didn't actively piss me off the way Eldest did.
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Date: 2018-12-11 07:44 am (UTC)The whole comment about Eragon not going into the tunnel seemed like a perfectly missed opportunity.
What if he had stood at the edge of the tunnel and fought through all those excuses? What if he had gone into the dark? Alone and afraid. Then, by a cruel twist of fate, his back gives out and he’s trapped, crippled and lost miles underground and separated from his allies and friends? I think that this would have been a huge test of his abilities and character and a massive learning opportunity.
It makes him flawed because he would have rushed in without thinking and now he’s endangered the people who have to rescue him. On the other hand we would feel for him because he rushed in headlong like he did out of love for his friend, despite his fear and now he’s crippled and lost in the dark. Does he curl up in a ball and give up? Or does he find the mental resilience to push himself onward?
It would also give us a chance to see what kind of exotic fauna lurk beneath the surface and see how the other characters react. It would make their stakes seem so much higher, now that their best hope of defeating the baddies is vanished and no one knows where to find him.
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Date: 2018-12-12 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-23 02:56 pm (UTC)Broken image: