Excerpt from The Fork, the Witch, and the Worm

[hwium8]

https://www.hypable.com/fork-witch-worm-excerpt-eragon/

I'm going to read it and put my thought about it in the comments.

Comments

[epistler]

no real attempt at characterisation or dialogue

That was probably the part that bugged me the most - that it's so detached and emotionless. We're not inside the protag's head, sharing her thoughts and feelings - we're just having everything dictated to us like it was something the narrator saw on TV.

[torylltales]

He's trying to write like the antique classics, e.g. William Morris (who was trying to mimic Chaucer), R.M. Ballantyne, and the Grimm Brothers, who wrote with a very detached narrative style (as a narrator performing to an audience, rather than trying to look through the eyes of their characters).

Trying and failing, because they at least had a way with words and poetry.

[epistler]

That was definitely the impression I got too - that he's aiming for an "ancient myth" kind of feel. But the use of language is just so damn clunky.