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antishurtugal_rebornWarning: This chapter contains descriptions of some rather brutal violence.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Gates of Dawn! Last time, Tristan went to Parthalon, discovered Nicholas’s grave was empty, and had another seizure, while back in Eutracia the wizards determined that Shailiha can indeed control Nicholas’s “hatchlings.” Today, it’s time to finally get around to doing that thing that’s been talked about for the whole book – recruiting the Minions. Joining us once again will be Len and Yhani!
Chapter Forty
Len: So, on the one hand, the Minions are a bunch of rapist, inexplicably misogynistic mutants who don’t seem like nearly as good soldiers as the author wants us to think they are… but on the other hand, this does at least sound like things other than people sitting around and talking are finally going to start happening, so at least there’s that. *she sighs* Sovereigns help me, how is it that I’m grateful for that? Well, it looks like we’re not that far off from the end…
MG: Seven more posts after this, counting the final thoughts, by my current schedule…
Len: … so I think I can do this. *she buries her head in her hands, and Yhani puts an arm around her shoulders* But I still wish I didn’t have to! Anyway, we open with Princey as he regains consciousness. He’s weak and trembling, he’s breathing heavily and covered with sweat, but at least he’s alive, and he can vaguely remember Ox dragging him over to the nearby woods. He could feel as much as see the Minion warrior sitting nearby in the snow, carefully watching over him. So, he tries to sit up, but is too weak to do it on his own; Ox helps him up, and then the vomiting came, and seemed to last forever. Hopefully you at least had the decency to turn your head away from Ox, but knowing these books… Finally, when he’s done, he thanks Ox for helping him. Ox only do what wizards say… Ox again glad Chosen One lives. Ox, friend… I’m starting to think you’re one of the only more-or-less decent people in these books, more than the wizards who gave you your orders, anyway. Ox explains he dragged Princey out of sight, so the other Minions wouldn’t see his fit, and think he looked weak. Which is pretty considerate of him, honestly. He also made sure to shove a small tree branch into Princey’s mouth to keep him from swallowing his own tongue and choking on it, something else the wizards apparently told him to do (if so, I’m amazed either of them thought of it). Oh, and when he did that, Princey nearly bit his finger off. Ox thinking maybe wizards would have to put it back on, like foot. Not sure I’d trust them to bother, honestly.
So, Princey asks how long he was out, and Ox guesses it was about five hours. Princey thinks that this was his second seizure, and he can’t imagine any more. Two more, and I will be a dead man. That’s an… oddly specific number, come to think. He also notices that the black veins in his arm are getting longer, and his arm is stiff and sore. He sits there for a while, composing himself – surprisingly realistic from Newcomb, honestly – and then Ox helps him up. They make their way out of the forest and head for the Recluse, but once they get close, they don’t see anyone. Well, that’s not ominous or anything. I mean, I wouldn’t think a new wrench would be thrown into things this late in the book, but it is Newcomb… or maybe the swamp shrews (I am never going to be able to take that name seriously…) got in? It was then that they heard the sound. Cheering. *nonplussed* So, what, do the Minions have sporting events nobody told me about? I can’t wait to see their contestant at next year’s Race of Eight Winds… Turning, Tristan finally noticed a mount of earth to his right. It was approximately one hundred meters away, and covered with snow. It rose upward for about thirty meters, ran for some distance, and then descended to some depth. Looking at it, Tristan came to realize it was a great bowl of some sort. The bowl was obviously man-made, and he was sure it had not existed at the time of Shailiha’s rescue. So… arena? Maybe it is a sporting event! Though if so, knowing the Minions, it’s probably gladiator games. The kind that are considered dull if more than half the competitors make it out alive. Princey notices the cheering is rising and falling regularly, and then asks Ox what’s going on. He explains it’s for Kachinaar, and Princey asks what that is – oh, oh, I know? It’s that really weird Minion justice ritual from the previous book, isn’t it?
MG: That’s the one. Fifth Sorceress, Chapter Sixteen, for the record.
Yhani: *flatly* Ah, yes, I remember. The ritual that made no sense with the Minion culture as presented, was it not? And indeed, Ox explains that if one Minion accuses another of something, a Kachinaar is held. If the Minion is found guilty, the ritual is punishment enough. If innocent, they are allowed to go free. He says that Kluge used the Kachinaar often (as I recall, he invented it…), and Traax has continued the tradition. Tristan wonders just what the Kachinaar entails, and so Ox invites him to come watch. Tristan thinks he might as well, as while he had hoped to meet with Traax in private, he is clearly at the arena and not the Recluse, and having the other Minions see him might be helpful. And so, they come to the rim of the arena and look down at row after row of blue marble seats, filled with shouting and cheering Minion warriors. Tristan can tell they are enjoying themselves, and many of them are drunk (perhaps it is a sporting event…) and sure enough, as Tristan and Ox watch, they can see two dozen or so Minions in the floor of the arena, playing some kind of violent, deranged game. *flatly* Well, that is as decent a summation of most sporting events as I could make, I think. My Dear Heart enjoys such things; personally, I have never seen the appeal. I prefer games of strategy… which, thankfully, my Dear Heart also enjoys. Moving on, Tristan determines that the Minions are arranged in two teams and are trying to gain possession of a ball. The warrior in question then tries to get it to the opposite side of the field, while the opposing team are allowed to use any method short of weapons to stop him. There seemed to be no other rules whatsoever. Blood lay pooled in many areas upon the slick marble floor, and the bodies of several of the warriors, apparently smashed senseless from their previous participation in the game, lay inert along the sides of the ring. …I am still not seeing how this differs substantially from other sporting events I have witnessed. Tristan notices that several of the players have missing teeth or broken limbs, and finally that the ball was the severed head of a fellow warrior. *blinks in shock* That… does make a difference from ordinary sporting events, I think. And we want these people on our side why again, exactly?
Tristan cannot believe what he is seeing, and demands Ox give an explanation. Ox points to a chair beside the arena, where a Minion warrior is bound. He looked extremely worried. *rolling her eyes* I think I would too, in that position – particularly, worried that my head might be used for the next ball (and that, I must note, cannot be aerodynamic…). But it turns out he is the accused. If the team on the right side of the court wins, he will be considered guilty and be executed. If the other team wins, he will be found innocent and set free. Tristan, for once, speaks for us all. This is insane… only a proper court can make a man guilty or innocent! While I agree with the sentiment, the wording there is… not accurate. A court can find a person guilty or innocent. They are made guilty or innocent by their actions. Besides, I outlawed this kind of behavior before I left Parthalon? Why are they disobeying me? Ox points out that when Tristan was last here, he never even mentioned Kachinaar, much less outlawed it, and besides, it is the Minion way. And indeed, Tristan realizes that he only outlawed things he knew about, and thus could not have outlawed Kachinaar. He continues to watch the Minions play, then asks where the “ball” came from. Ox explains that when two Minions are accused of one crime, if the first is found guilty, he will be decapitated, and the head will be used for the ball in the game to determine the innocence of the second. Is only time this place used. Kachinaar in theater special, and much enjoyed. Minions much like. Well, I suppose that explains why the Kachinaar we saw in the previous book was completely different, then. *looking faintly ill* But not why we are apparently supposed to still want to bring these people back to Eutracia, when they do… this. By the way, if this particular warrior is found guilty, the Minions have a captured swamp shrew waiting by the edge of the arena, and he will be fed to it. What lovely people you have, Ox.
Dastardly Deeds: 91 (giving one point for the Coven and one for Kluge, since this is a holdover from their rule)
Gratuitous Grimdark: 62 (for, uh, all of it)
Len: Well, Princey thinks to himself that no matter how much he learns about the Minions, they continue to amaze him. Just as with the wizards. Huh; I think that slip’s a bit telling, isn’t it? I mean, I don’t think Newcomb meant to imply the wizards are morally equivalent to a bunch of barbarians who play games using other people’s heads as the ball, but still… So, Tristan is left wondering what to do, as one of the Minions scores a goal and apparently that’s enough for his team to win, and the accused warrior to be found innocent and spared (and since I have no idea what he was accused of or if he did it or not… I couldn’t tell you if that’s a good thing or not). Princey asks Ox if he’s strong enough to carry him while he flies – Oh, my – and Ox admits most Minions aren’t that strong, but he’s one of them who is. Princey thinks it would definitely create a dramatic entrance – yeah, it would, though maybe not as much as it might considering surrounded by a crowd of people who can all fly. But that’s when he notices Traax, who’s left his seat to go free the “vindicated” – sort of – Minion. Tristan took in Traax’s tall, muscular stature and the fact that he was one of the few Minions he had ever seen who was clean-shaven. Younger and more handsome than Kluge had been, Traax wore his long, dark hair tied back with a piece of black leather. *whistles* Uh-oh, Tristan. Don’t let Ox catch you checking Traax out – you don’t want to make him jealous! *she notices Yhani giving her a stern look* What? I’ll take my enjoyment where I can find it in this mess, ‘specially since I’m quite sure it’d annoy Newcomb… Well, Traax cuts the Minion free and hugs him, as the whole crowd leaps to their feet and starts cheering. *rolling her eyes* The guy I’ve never met before and whose name I don’t even know was just found innocent of a crime I’ve no knowledge of – and I don’t even know if he is innocent – by means of a ball game played with, I repeat, a man’s severed head. I’m… happy for him?
So, Princey orders Ox to pick him up and fly him over to Traax, and Ox does. Tristan was mesmerized by his first experience of flight. The cold wind in his face was bracing, the sensation of freedom wonderfully intoxicating. *flatly* What a wonderfully moving experience of the joy of flight. Dammit, I could use something intoxicating right about now… well, the other Minions start to notice them, and Ox puts Princey down right in front of Traax. The two of them stand there in silence, staring silently into each other’s eyes (dammit, Newcomb, if you don’t want me, uh, shipping Princey and Traax, stop giving me material…). He must speak to me first, thereby recognizing my authority over him… Even Traax does not realize how important this moment is. For, if he will not honor my authority, I cannot order the Minions back to Eutracia, and all is finished for us. Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure Traax knows damn well that if he doesn’t honor your authority, you can’t give the Minions orders, since he’s their commanding officer and all… that’s kind of how that works… The two of them keep staring at each other, and Traax raises an eyebrow quizzically… and then he goes down on one knee and says I live to serve. And so, all that tension… was for nothing. Great. All the other Minions do the same, until Princey gives them permission to rise. Traax comments that the Chosen One graces us with his presence and Princey thinks he can detect a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but sadly only a hint (he can come talk to me, and I’ll give him more than a hint… though I’ll save my worst for certain other parties). Traax also compliments Ox on getting his foot healed. Princey tells Traax he wants to speak in private (oh, my…) and that he’s here for his report, but also has other urgent matters to discuss. Traax says they can, but first he asks if he can dismiss the Minions back to their duties (some of which, hopefully, involve cleaning up the damned arena, unless you want that place to start to smell). But when Princey grants permission, all the Minions fly off towards the Recluse, so I guess they won’t be cleaning the arena, then. If that’s how they usually leave the place… by the Six, it must be ripe.
Gratuitous Grimdark: 63
Yhani: And so Traax leads Tristan to an entrance near the base of the arena, guarded by very large, fully armed warriors. Because size, of course, is everything. Inside, the chambers here were light and airy, the marble of the palest indigo, with carpets on the floor and comfortable furniture placed tastefully about. A broad marble conference table with six chairs sat in the middle of the largest of several such rooms. Oil chandeliers gave the chamber a soft, inviting glow. It was not entirely unlike being in one of the smaller rooms of the Redoubt. Presumably, the Minions got their tastes in decorating from their erstwhile masters (though indigo is usually used to refer to very deep shades of blue, not pale…)… though it does seem rather at odds with the spectacle we just witnessed, I must admit. They all sit down at the table; Traax takes out his weapons and places them on it, and Tristan and Ox do the same. Traax then orders food and drink, brought in by female servants. Tristan realized that these were the first Minion women he had ever seen. *raising an eyebrow* Oh? Have you forgotten your “true love” Narrissa from the previous book already then? Or do the Gallipolai not count as Minions, for some inexplicable reason? But of course, they were quite beautiful and Tristan notes their proud posture rather than how meek he assumes they must have been under Kluge, and thinks that his orders have made some positive good – because clearly, all that is required for massive social change is one man to come in and tell people to do things differently. What else could possibly do it? Traax tells the women what he wants, and then adds please and Tristan is amused to note their smirks, and this would be far more noteworthy if these women had names. They are strong, the Minion women… Many of the warriors, especially those who have recently married as a result of your permission, seem to be even happier than before. Minion warriors prefer their women to be forceful and sexually aggressive. Given their newfound freedoms, the females have responded in kind. Many of them have even made significant suggestions as to the rebuilding and decorating of the Recluse. And of course, we hear all of this from Traax, because even freed, Ancestors forbid the Minion women be given an actual voice. Newcomb is nothing if not predictable.
Tristan only asks for Traax’s report, and when he gives it, he wants to know all about the Kachinaar, what crimes the victims were accused of, and why the arena was built (is it not obvious?). Apparently, the warrior whose head Tristan saw being used as a ball was accused of raping another man’s Gallipolai wife (and was this woman’s marital status truly the important thing to note here, not just that she was raped?). Traax has no doubt that he was guilty and was punished accordingly. He explains, as Ox did earlier, that if two Kachinaars are held close to one another the first victim’s head is used as the ball for the games that will compose the second Kachinaar (though unlike Ox, he does not say that the two warriors must have been accused of the same crime – I do not know if this is an error on Newcomb’s part, or on Ox’s). Apparently, the second warrior was also accused of raping the same woman, as he was a friend of the first man, but Traax is unsure about his guilt. And so, a potential rapist walks free without his guilt or innocence actually being determined in a way that says anything; lovely. And I’ll note that the judgments of the two Kachinaars (which are, apparently, supposed to leave the judgment in the hand of fate, despite the Minions demonstrating no belief in fate otherwise) align exactly with Traax’s opinion on the matter. I suspect this system may not be impartial… Traax further explains that the stadium was built out of marble left over from the destruction of the original Recluse, and Traax wanted it built for Kachinaars important enough he wanted large numbers of Minions to be able to attend. It has become quite a tradition. *flatly* I am so sure it has. The fact that the Minions’ new national pastime requires a steady stream of guilty verdicts to provide the “ball” being, of course, entirely coincidental. The arena is called the Proscenium of Indictment (and both of those words are used appropriately – I admit, I am impressed!) and though there are many Kachinaar arenas (Ancestors save us!) this one is a new favorite. Tristan is left bewildered; allowing this form of barbarism to exist here, under his aegis, was unthinkable, but he also needs all the Minions to fight the hatchlings and cannot risk offending them. And I have absolutely no faith in Newcomb’s ability to resolve this ethical dilemma with any nuance whatsoever.
Dastardly Deeds: 92
Exposition Intrusion: 206 (for Traax mostly regurgitating Ox’s previous explanations)
Gender Wars: 88
Gratuitous Grimdark: 66 (of course it was rape…)
Len: Well, Princey wonders what Wigg would say if he was here (pretty sure Wigg’s only issue with Kachinaar would be that he wouldn’t get to be the one rendering judgment…) and decides that Wigg would tell him to forget the things he saw, no matter how vile and instead focus on his cause. And… yeah, that tracks. So he decides that since he needs the Minions so much, he won’t try to shut down the Kachinaar. He would not condemn these traditions. But he would not give them his verbal approval, either. *rolling her eyes* What a brave stand he takes, our Princey. And so, he tells Traax that he’s ordering the Minions back to Eutracia to destroy new enemies there. Traax… seems pretty into the idea, actually. It has been too long since we have seen action, my lord… and it will be good for our swords to again taste blood, especially since we can no longer train to the death. Your enemies are ours… tell me more. And so, again, after all that build up, it really was that easy. *applauds sarcastically* Great job, Newcomb! The Minion women – still not speaking and not named – start serving their meal, and once they’re gone, he starts eating, in between bites, he gave Traax his orders. Basically, he’s putting the reconstruction of the Recluse on hold, and he wants the fleet ready to depart for Eutracia as soon as possible. Should there be any serious problems in the execution of his orders, a Minion messenger was to come through the portal, informing him. He goes on to describe the hatchlings and the scarabs, and Traax only smiled, his sense of anticipation growing. *rolling her eyes* Oh, great – he’s one of those freaks who’s all about fighting worthy opponents and winning glory on the battlefield, isn’t he? Every soldier’s favorite kind of officer. Me, I prefer the types who try to keep the soldiers under their command, you know, alive. Princey doesn’t mention anything about Nicholas or the Gates of Dawn, planning to fill him in once they’re under way. He did not wish to confuse the issue for his second in command, and I have no idea why – Traax is the only one here, and you’re planning to tell him anyway, so why not now?
He also doesn’t want Traax, or any of the Minions, to know that the wizards are losing their powers – okay, that one does make sense – but does warn them that should you see any weakness or fading in consistency of the vortex, it is paramount that no more warriors go through. Which is basically a pompous way of saying that if the portal starts breaking down, don’t go through or you might die. Traax says he understands, and Princey tells him to leave behind a small force for hunting the shrews, but everyone else is to be ready to go in five days (that’s… fast. There’s tens of thousands of Minions, aren’t there? Rallying that many troops takes time, especially when they’re spread out all over the country). Traax himself is to cross to Eutracia by the portal, and they’ll have more to discuss then. Traax does remind Princey that crossing the Sea of Whispers the whole way takes thirty days, and Princey admits he knows, but there’s not much he can do about it. And in the meantime Minion troops should be pouring through the portal, especially if my wizards can find a way to enlarge it, or to hold it open longer. Huh; I just imagined the look on Wigg’s and Faegan’s faces if they heard they were described as “his” wizards. It was pretty satisfying, I’ll admit. Traax then asks if Princey is aware of the bargain the Coven made to cross the Sea of Whispers; Princey realizes it’s about to come out, but he needs to find a way to get the Minions to tell him without admitting he doesn’t know. This has to do with the craft… for nothing else in this world gives pause to a Minion warrior. *rolling her eyes* Oh, no… I’d have thought the creepy haunted ocean was crossed by purely mundane means! My mistake! Tristan lies and says the forced the information out of the Coven before he killed them, and he’ll have to make allowances for increased difficulty this time around. He also reminds Traax that he knows he’s done this before, because he saw him in Tammerland the day my family and the Directorate of Wizards were all murdered. So, I guess we’re not just sweeping that under the rug, then? I’d say it’s good for Newcomb, but… I’m with ‘Hani, I’m not trusting him to handle this with any nuance at all.
Contrivances and Coincidences: 42
Exposition Intrusion: 210
Gender Wars: 89
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 97
Yhani: And so Traax admits he was there, and that he follows his orders, no matter who gives them (at least in my world, that does not count as a defense…). That is why he did not turn on Tristan after he killed Kluge. Usurping one’s lord in unfair battle is not the Minion way. It is something you shall be quite glad of when we finally arrive again upon your shores. I still remain unaware as to what is stopping Traax from challenging Tristan to a duel, then killing him, then claiming overlordship of all the Minions… Tristan decides that Traax is telling the truth and realizes he is starting to respect him (I will remind you that this day started with you watching Traax presiding over a game where a severed head was used as the ball). He wants to hear Traax’s description of the crossing, just to make certain it matches what the Coven supposedly told him. As Tristan’s bluff…apparently worked for the moment, how convenient, Traax describes how, fifteen days out from shore, the ships will be waylaid by the Necrophagians, who will only allow them to pass after receiving an offering of forty corpses. He asks how Tristan intends to provide a set of forty fresh corpses and asks if he can hold a session of training to the death on deck immediately beforehand. And even then, the Necrophagians may not honor their bargain, as it was made with the Coven, who are dead. Tristan, stunned, makes certain that Ox remembers things the same way – he does – and decides that either my wizards shall deal with the Necrophagians, or we shall not cross by sea. One way or another, we shall find a solution. So, Tristan is standing by his principles here… which would be more impressive had he not decided to abandon them for expedience earlier. He then notices Traax giving him an odd look; Traax asks if he is well, having noticed the poisoned veins in his arm, but Tristan dismisses it as a battle wound. He rises and asks if Traax understands his orders, and then when he says he does the three of them head back out into the arena. Tristan says he intends to return to Eutracia at once, as Faegan has been opening the portal every hour on the hour. He will walk to the place where it opened, while Traax returns to the Recluse to begin mustering his troops. They will be most happy to hear of it. I shall see you in Eutracia, in five days’ time. Tristan agrees, and he and Traax shake hands; the pact had been made. They then turn to walk away – Traax to the Recluse, Tristan and Ox to the portal. In the distance, Tristan can hear cheering as Traax returns to the fortress. Looking up at the moons, he remembers his many loved ones who had died at Minion hands, and as the chapter ends asks for the Afterlife to grant me the peace to know what I have done is right.
MG: Spoilers – it is. IIRC, bringing the Minions back to Eutracia will have nothing but positive consequences, and based on my recollections and a quick search through my ebook copies of the series, the term “Kachinaar” is never mentioned in the series again. So, the ethical dilemma is resolved… by ignoring it completely from here on out. Same with the Necrophagians. Tristan gets around having to sacrifice to them in order for the fleet to cross by just not using the fleet, which in turn will have no impact on his ability to get the Minions back to Eutracia. Well done, Newcomb!
Exposition Intrusion: 213
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 98
Chapter Forty-One
Len: Well, we leave behind our decapitation-happy Minions to open our next chapter with Wigg. *beat* Dammit, Newcomb, that’s not an improvement! He’s sitting at a rather large table in the Redoubt, while Faegan sits next to him holding an oddly-shaped glass beaker, full of liquid that’s glowing brightly. Wait, is it glowing azure though, Newcomb? Inquiring minds want to know! We learn that Tristan and Ox are still in Parthalon, but they’ve not been gone long enough for the wizards to be worried, Shailiha’s in her room, and everyone else is going about their duties, whatever those may be. So, it turns out a couple of days ago Faegan took off the Paragon and stuck it in the waters of the Well in the Redoubt, to see what happens. Turns out that the wizards retained their powers while it was in there, but the decay of the Paragon didn’t stop. They’re apparently amazed by this for some reason, even though I’m pretty sure the Well is supposed to have the same waters as the Caves, and the Paragon works when it’s immersed in the Cave waters, so… how’s that any different? And so, we learn that though an untrained eye might think the Paragon was losing its powers at a steady rate, Faegan has determined it’s actually accelerating, so he’s ready to experiment to at least try to find a solution. He thinks that the glow in his beaker is a murky light… but not one without possibilities in the darkness of our troubles. Yay. *beat* I have no idea what that means. He apparently mixed this stuff up after doing research in the Redoubt library, and though it took him a long time with his powers reduced, he finally managed it. Wigg asks if Faegan really thinks this’ll work, and Faegan asks if Wigg really doubts his abilities. Apparently spending time in his lab has energized Faegan – Sovereigns help us, he really is some mad alchemist, isn’t he? – and I’ve got to think that a non-energized Faegan was bad enough – not looking forward to this version.
Faegan points out he was right about the Forestallments, and right about the connection between Shailiha and the Fliers and the hatchling, and wonders if Wigg wants to go for two out of three. Gah, I have no idea who to root for, here – I hate them both! Wigg only asks if Shawna the Short *collapses into snickering* has done her part too, and Faegan assures him she did it this morning. She has, of course, absolutely no idea why I would request something so bizarre. *flatly* She’s known you for three hundred years. She’s probably used to it by now. She certainly loves a good mystery. Almost childish about it, in fact. And you certainly love being a condescending asshole, you know that? Wigg thinks Shawna’s not the only childish one around here, and dammit, I hate agreeing with him. Wigg tells Faegan to get on with it, and he levitates them both into the air and then pours the liquid onto the floor. Almost immediately the fluid began to spread across the floor, finally progressing from wall to wall and corner to corner. Yeah, fluid… does that. Not one scintilla was left uncovered. And then, after several moments had passed, the fluid completely disappeared. Okay, that I wasn’t expecting. Faegan tells Wigg it’s time to go and the two wizards levitate out of the room and into the hallway, and this very short chapter ends as the doors close behind them and the two ancient friends *gag* - and weren’t they out of contact for centuries, during which time Wigg thought Faegan was a traitor and all? – make their way down the corridor. And I have no idea what the point of any of that was. Yay.
Contrivances and Coincidences: 43 (any particular reason why we weren’t told what the wizards were doing and why?)
Exposition Intrusion: 214 (mostly for Faegan telling us how he made this stuff, but not why or what it does).
Chapter Forty-Two
Yhani: And so, we open this chapter with Tristan, apparently returned from Parthalon, as he sits at a table with Faegan, Wigg and Shailiha (and Morganna, asleep in a sling Shailiha is carrying). He has just finished describing his experiences in Parthalon. Faegan agrees that they cannot allow the armada to cross the Sea of Whispers. The Necrophagians’ bargain was with the Coven, and the sorceresses are all dead. We have no way to know whether the bargain would still be honored, and we can’t risk losing all those warriors for nothing. On the other hand, I imagine Faegan would be quite willing to sacrifice all of those warriors if he thought he and his side would profit from it, based on his previous behavior… He decides to send Ox back to Parthalon at once, with written orders from Tristan to halt the sailing. He decides he will just have to keep the portal open for longer stretches of time, though it will be difficult, and Tristan notices that both Faegan and Shailiha look tired and asks if something happened while he was away (yes, a very strange and pointless experiment just took place…). Shailiha assures Tristan that she is fine, and nothing happened, because of course, we are keeping the fact that she learned to control the hatchlings secret… for some reason. Tristan then tells her about his seizure, and how he had never felt anything so painful before. He asks if they are any closer to finding a cure – Faegan admits they are not, but he has discovered something he thinks will cheer Tristan up. Faegan leads the others up into the castle and to the door to Queen Morganna’s old rooms; when he goes inside, Tristan is expecting any number of bizarre things, but what stood before him now was the last thing he had ever expected. Considering these books, that is… rather more ominous than it might otherwise have been. But it is, in fact, the hatchling he and Ox had captured stood in the center of the room on its strong rear legs. Which is… rather more mundane than I would have thought, from that description. And I thought we were not telling Tristan Shailiha learned to control it? *sigh* Or are Wigg and Faegan simply going to take the credit?
Tristan reaches for his dreggan, but Faegan tells him he will not need it. Tristan examines the hatchling, and as it makes no threatening move, he finally realizes that they’ve broken it, or trained it somehow! No, not they, Shailiha did it, but so far the wizards seem determined not to give her credit. And then Tristan is shaken away from that thought entirely as he sees the hatchling is wearing a harness and saddle and realizes that they actually expect me to ride it! Ride it through the sky! Well, you are meant to be fighting an aerial war, commanding winged troops – unless you would rather Ox carry you everywhere? Tristan asks if they are joking, and Wigg admits they are not, though they do have some explaining to do. Tristan asks if Shailiha knew, and she lied convincingly – really, Newcomb, if you have to say it, that does not inspire confidence – that she did, but I didn’t really have anything to do with it… it was all the wizards’ idea. *coldly* And so far as I can tell, the only reason to lie at all is to allow the wizards to take credit for what Shailiha did. I see Newcomb truly is not improving. Wigg also lies, telling Tristan it cannot talk even though it has human arms – clearly, my knowledge of human anatomy is worse than I thought, as I was unaware arms are the organ of speech – and that so far as he can determine (how?) there are three generations of the hatchlings, and this one is of the second. Tristan wants to know how they know it will not simply fly him back to the enemy (perhaps you would know the answer to that if Shailiha was allowed to tell you!) but Faegan considers the possibility to be illogical. Which would not make it stand out, in this book… But, since the hatchling attacked Tristan after he had just left Nicholas, and Nicholas could have captured Tristan himself, he doubts it was sent to take him prisoner (unless it got new orders…). Tristan wonders what the hatchling was doing, then and Faegan guesses it was part of the force that attacked Ilendium, and then got separated from the others and started wandering around on its own (and somehow ended up right next to Tristan, right outside the very lair of its masters? That strikes me as illogical, old man!). I suggest you start being more positive about all this, and stop looking a gift bird in the mouth, so to speak. Considering the “gift bird” is a captured enemy asset – yes, I at least would want absolute assurances that I knew all about it and that it could be trusted, before I trusted my life to it!
Contrivances and Coincidences: 45 (this whole deception serves no purpose…)
Gender Wars: 90 (…except to prop up the wizards at Shailiha’s expense)
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 100 (again, what’s the point of all this?)
Len: So, Princey asks where the hatchling’s saddle and bridle came from, and it turns out Geldon made them. As it turns out, among his many other talents, he’s quite a good leatherworker, too. Well, isn’t that convenient. And Geldon continues to be the only half-decent character in this mess, so it’s not so surprising. Tristan studies the saddle a bit and wonders what all the belts are for, so Shailiha tells him they’re to keep him from falling off in midair. That you, Shailiha – you also continue to be half-decent, sorry for snubbing you there, and it’s too bad your wizards (or your author, for that matter…) clearly don’t appreciate you at all. And it turns out Shailiha was the one who insisted on all the straps in the first place, since she knows Princey’s an excellent equestrian but has never ridden a flying creature before. He still wants to know how they turned it to their side, and Faegan says Nicholas’s control just wasn’t as strong as they’d thought (you’re not a very good liar, are you, old man?). Assuming this to be true, I invoked a spell that allowed me to sense when his control was at its lowest point. That’s when I broke the bond, turning it to our side… but all of that is wizards’ business, and you needn’t concern yourself with the whys or the hows of it all. *crossly* Yeah, and you wouldn’t be the first smugly self-satisfied wizard I’ve punched, so try me again, why don’t you? And isn’t Princey supposed to become a wizard himself someday or something? Shouldn’t he be learning this? Princey wonders what’s wrong with just riding Pilgrim and, look, Tristan, this battle is going to be in the air. Why is that such a hard concept to grasp, that a flying mount might come in handy? Unless you expect Ox to carry you and Pilgrim. Don’t think he’s that strong.
And indeed, Wigg points that all out, and dammit, I really hate agreeing with him on anything! So Princey finally realizes that by the imperious look on Wigg’s face that no more questions were going to be answered at the moment, so good, I can go back to thinking he’s a bastard, then. And then Shailiha taunts him, asking if he’s afraid of doing something Scrounge can do without a saddle (which I guess her butterfly told her about…) and that, sure enough, gets Princey moving. *she sighs* And prodding the immature male ego does the trick. Figures. Princey makes the hatchling kneel down, and he climbs into the saddle and then he says we’ll see about that before it takes off. Congratulations – you’re a thirty-year-old man with the emotional maturity of a teenager. You must be so proud. Princey and the hatchling take off, leaving the others behind to watch them go. Shailiha asks if he believed them; Wigg thinks that he’s highly intelligent and very stubborn (the latter I’ll give you, but the former… *she bursts out laughing) so it’s hard to say, but the important thing is, he’s finally on that bird. That’s not a sentence I think I’ve ever seen before… He compliments Shailiha on bringing up Scrounge, since that’s what finally motivated him, but he must ride none other than that particular monstrosity of the craft into battle if we are to have any hope of succeeding at this. So, I guess the Prophecies mention that particular hatchling, then? Wouldn’t have guessed that… anyway, the three of them turn and head back into the Redoubt, and the chapter ends there.
MG: Well, these chapters had… issues. First off, I still can’t get over how edgelordy the Minions using a severed head as a ball in their sports is – that’s, like, literally the stuff of parody. Not to mention… how is this supposed to determine the guilt or innocence of the Minion in question? Is it a form of combat by champion? But it seems like the teams are random, instead of the accused getting to actually fight for themselves or actually pick a champion, so… how does that solve anything? If there’s any religious reason for it, we’re not told that either. It’s like… they’re evil, so they must like blood sport, even in contexts where it makes no sense. And on that note… it’s very odd that Newcomb takes this chapter to once again make the Minions cartoonishly evil and introduce the question of the morality of using them, only to immediately sweep it under the rug and have it never be relevant to any significant degree again. Faegan’s and Wigg’s experiment accomplished exactly nothing story-wise and yet got its own chapter, and I have no idea why Newcomb bothered; we do find out what it's for a bit later and it's, uh, kind of underwhelming (and its actual purpose is still very poorly foreshadowed). And as for Tristan, while he’s right to question the presence of the hatchling, the fact that he only hops on it when Shailiha implies he’s less of a man than his new nemesis just makes me feel like he’s regressed emotionally to adolescence, which is saying something considering where he started. And the wizards lying that they, and not Shailiha, are the ones who controlled the hatchling seems to serve no purpose or than to establish that we just can’t give a woman credit for anything in these books (if Nicholas finds out about this, he’ll know they can take control of the hatchlings away from him, so why does it matter if he thinks it’s Faegan and not Shailiha who did it?). Anyway, next time, we wrap up Part IV, as a traitor is revealed. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 168
Contrivances and Coincidences: 46
Dastardly Deeds: 92
Exposition Intrusion: 216
Gender Wars: 92
Gratuitous Grimdark: 66
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 102
I’m also partway through my reread and commentary on the (in)famous epic Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic Embers which can be found here if you’re interested!
Since this January, 2024, marks my tenth anniversary as a sporker at this comm, I also did a brief writeup reflecting on my experiences here, my past sporkings, and a bit on what I’m likely to be doing in the near future; you can read it on my journal here if that interests you!
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Gates of Dawn! Last time, Tristan went to Parthalon, discovered Nicholas’s grave was empty, and had another seizure, while back in Eutracia the wizards determined that Shailiha can indeed control Nicholas’s “hatchlings.” Today, it’s time to finally get around to doing that thing that’s been talked about for the whole book – recruiting the Minions. Joining us once again will be Len and Yhani!
Chapter Forty
Len: So, on the one hand, the Minions are a bunch of rapist, inexplicably misogynistic mutants who don’t seem like nearly as good soldiers as the author wants us to think they are… but on the other hand, this does at least sound like things other than people sitting around and talking are finally going to start happening, so at least there’s that. *she sighs* Sovereigns help me, how is it that I’m grateful for that? Well, it looks like we’re not that far off from the end…
MG: Seven more posts after this, counting the final thoughts, by my current schedule…
Len: … so I think I can do this. *she buries her head in her hands, and Yhani puts an arm around her shoulders* But I still wish I didn’t have to! Anyway, we open with Princey as he regains consciousness. He’s weak and trembling, he’s breathing heavily and covered with sweat, but at least he’s alive, and he can vaguely remember Ox dragging him over to the nearby woods. He could feel as much as see the Minion warrior sitting nearby in the snow, carefully watching over him. So, he tries to sit up, but is too weak to do it on his own; Ox helps him up, and then the vomiting came, and seemed to last forever. Hopefully you at least had the decency to turn your head away from Ox, but knowing these books… Finally, when he’s done, he thanks Ox for helping him. Ox only do what wizards say… Ox again glad Chosen One lives. Ox, friend… I’m starting to think you’re one of the only more-or-less decent people in these books, more than the wizards who gave you your orders, anyway. Ox explains he dragged Princey out of sight, so the other Minions wouldn’t see his fit, and think he looked weak. Which is pretty considerate of him, honestly. He also made sure to shove a small tree branch into Princey’s mouth to keep him from swallowing his own tongue and choking on it, something else the wizards apparently told him to do (if so, I’m amazed either of them thought of it). Oh, and when he did that, Princey nearly bit his finger off. Ox thinking maybe wizards would have to put it back on, like foot. Not sure I’d trust them to bother, honestly.
So, Princey asks how long he was out, and Ox guesses it was about five hours. Princey thinks that this was his second seizure, and he can’t imagine any more. Two more, and I will be a dead man. That’s an… oddly specific number, come to think. He also notices that the black veins in his arm are getting longer, and his arm is stiff and sore. He sits there for a while, composing himself – surprisingly realistic from Newcomb, honestly – and then Ox helps him up. They make their way out of the forest and head for the Recluse, but once they get close, they don’t see anyone. Well, that’s not ominous or anything. I mean, I wouldn’t think a new wrench would be thrown into things this late in the book, but it is Newcomb… or maybe the swamp shrews (I am never going to be able to take that name seriously…) got in? It was then that they heard the sound. Cheering. *nonplussed* So, what, do the Minions have sporting events nobody told me about? I can’t wait to see their contestant at next year’s Race of Eight Winds… Turning, Tristan finally noticed a mount of earth to his right. It was approximately one hundred meters away, and covered with snow. It rose upward for about thirty meters, ran for some distance, and then descended to some depth. Looking at it, Tristan came to realize it was a great bowl of some sort. The bowl was obviously man-made, and he was sure it had not existed at the time of Shailiha’s rescue. So… arena? Maybe it is a sporting event! Though if so, knowing the Minions, it’s probably gladiator games. The kind that are considered dull if more than half the competitors make it out alive. Princey notices the cheering is rising and falling regularly, and then asks Ox what’s going on. He explains it’s for Kachinaar, and Princey asks what that is – oh, oh, I know? It’s that really weird Minion justice ritual from the previous book, isn’t it?
MG: That’s the one. Fifth Sorceress, Chapter Sixteen, for the record.
Yhani: *flatly* Ah, yes, I remember. The ritual that made no sense with the Minion culture as presented, was it not? And indeed, Ox explains that if one Minion accuses another of something, a Kachinaar is held. If the Minion is found guilty, the ritual is punishment enough. If innocent, they are allowed to go free. He says that Kluge used the Kachinaar often (as I recall, he invented it…), and Traax has continued the tradition. Tristan wonders just what the Kachinaar entails, and so Ox invites him to come watch. Tristan thinks he might as well, as while he had hoped to meet with Traax in private, he is clearly at the arena and not the Recluse, and having the other Minions see him might be helpful. And so, they come to the rim of the arena and look down at row after row of blue marble seats, filled with shouting and cheering Minion warriors. Tristan can tell they are enjoying themselves, and many of them are drunk (perhaps it is a sporting event…) and sure enough, as Tristan and Ox watch, they can see two dozen or so Minions in the floor of the arena, playing some kind of violent, deranged game. *flatly* Well, that is as decent a summation of most sporting events as I could make, I think. My Dear Heart enjoys such things; personally, I have never seen the appeal. I prefer games of strategy… which, thankfully, my Dear Heart also enjoys. Moving on, Tristan determines that the Minions are arranged in two teams and are trying to gain possession of a ball. The warrior in question then tries to get it to the opposite side of the field, while the opposing team are allowed to use any method short of weapons to stop him. There seemed to be no other rules whatsoever. Blood lay pooled in many areas upon the slick marble floor, and the bodies of several of the warriors, apparently smashed senseless from their previous participation in the game, lay inert along the sides of the ring. …I am still not seeing how this differs substantially from other sporting events I have witnessed. Tristan notices that several of the players have missing teeth or broken limbs, and finally that the ball was the severed head of a fellow warrior. *blinks in shock* That… does make a difference from ordinary sporting events, I think. And we want these people on our side why again, exactly?
Tristan cannot believe what he is seeing, and demands Ox give an explanation. Ox points to a chair beside the arena, where a Minion warrior is bound. He looked extremely worried. *rolling her eyes* I think I would too, in that position – particularly, worried that my head might be used for the next ball (and that, I must note, cannot be aerodynamic…). But it turns out he is the accused. If the team on the right side of the court wins, he will be considered guilty and be executed. If the other team wins, he will be found innocent and set free. Tristan, for once, speaks for us all. This is insane… only a proper court can make a man guilty or innocent! While I agree with the sentiment, the wording there is… not accurate. A court can find a person guilty or innocent. They are made guilty or innocent by their actions. Besides, I outlawed this kind of behavior before I left Parthalon? Why are they disobeying me? Ox points out that when Tristan was last here, he never even mentioned Kachinaar, much less outlawed it, and besides, it is the Minion way. And indeed, Tristan realizes that he only outlawed things he knew about, and thus could not have outlawed Kachinaar. He continues to watch the Minions play, then asks where the “ball” came from. Ox explains that when two Minions are accused of one crime, if the first is found guilty, he will be decapitated, and the head will be used for the ball in the game to determine the innocence of the second. Is only time this place used. Kachinaar in theater special, and much enjoyed. Minions much like. Well, I suppose that explains why the Kachinaar we saw in the previous book was completely different, then. *looking faintly ill* But not why we are apparently supposed to still want to bring these people back to Eutracia, when they do… this. By the way, if this particular warrior is found guilty, the Minions have a captured swamp shrew waiting by the edge of the arena, and he will be fed to it. What lovely people you have, Ox.
Dastardly Deeds: 91 (giving one point for the Coven and one for Kluge, since this is a holdover from their rule)
Gratuitous Grimdark: 62 (for, uh, all of it)
Len: Well, Princey thinks to himself that no matter how much he learns about the Minions, they continue to amaze him. Just as with the wizards. Huh; I think that slip’s a bit telling, isn’t it? I mean, I don’t think Newcomb meant to imply the wizards are morally equivalent to a bunch of barbarians who play games using other people’s heads as the ball, but still… So, Tristan is left wondering what to do, as one of the Minions scores a goal and apparently that’s enough for his team to win, and the accused warrior to be found innocent and spared (and since I have no idea what he was accused of or if he did it or not… I couldn’t tell you if that’s a good thing or not). Princey asks Ox if he’s strong enough to carry him while he flies – Oh, my – and Ox admits most Minions aren’t that strong, but he’s one of them who is. Princey thinks it would definitely create a dramatic entrance – yeah, it would, though maybe not as much as it might considering surrounded by a crowd of people who can all fly. But that’s when he notices Traax, who’s left his seat to go free the “vindicated” – sort of – Minion. Tristan took in Traax’s tall, muscular stature and the fact that he was one of the few Minions he had ever seen who was clean-shaven. Younger and more handsome than Kluge had been, Traax wore his long, dark hair tied back with a piece of black leather. *whistles* Uh-oh, Tristan. Don’t let Ox catch you checking Traax out – you don’t want to make him jealous! *she notices Yhani giving her a stern look* What? I’ll take my enjoyment where I can find it in this mess, ‘specially since I’m quite sure it’d annoy Newcomb… Well, Traax cuts the Minion free and hugs him, as the whole crowd leaps to their feet and starts cheering. *rolling her eyes* The guy I’ve never met before and whose name I don’t even know was just found innocent of a crime I’ve no knowledge of – and I don’t even know if he is innocent – by means of a ball game played with, I repeat, a man’s severed head. I’m… happy for him?
So, Princey orders Ox to pick him up and fly him over to Traax, and Ox does. Tristan was mesmerized by his first experience of flight. The cold wind in his face was bracing, the sensation of freedom wonderfully intoxicating. *flatly* What a wonderfully moving experience of the joy of flight. Dammit, I could use something intoxicating right about now… well, the other Minions start to notice them, and Ox puts Princey down right in front of Traax. The two of them stand there in silence, staring silently into each other’s eyes (dammit, Newcomb, if you don’t want me, uh, shipping Princey and Traax, stop giving me material…). He must speak to me first, thereby recognizing my authority over him… Even Traax does not realize how important this moment is. For, if he will not honor my authority, I cannot order the Minions back to Eutracia, and all is finished for us. Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure Traax knows damn well that if he doesn’t honor your authority, you can’t give the Minions orders, since he’s their commanding officer and all… that’s kind of how that works… The two of them keep staring at each other, and Traax raises an eyebrow quizzically… and then he goes down on one knee and says I live to serve. And so, all that tension… was for nothing. Great. All the other Minions do the same, until Princey gives them permission to rise. Traax comments that the Chosen One graces us with his presence and Princey thinks he can detect a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but sadly only a hint (he can come talk to me, and I’ll give him more than a hint… though I’ll save my worst for certain other parties). Traax also compliments Ox on getting his foot healed. Princey tells Traax he wants to speak in private (oh, my…) and that he’s here for his report, but also has other urgent matters to discuss. Traax says they can, but first he asks if he can dismiss the Minions back to their duties (some of which, hopefully, involve cleaning up the damned arena, unless you want that place to start to smell). But when Princey grants permission, all the Minions fly off towards the Recluse, so I guess they won’t be cleaning the arena, then. If that’s how they usually leave the place… by the Six, it must be ripe.
Gratuitous Grimdark: 63
Yhani: And so Traax leads Tristan to an entrance near the base of the arena, guarded by very large, fully armed warriors. Because size, of course, is everything. Inside, the chambers here were light and airy, the marble of the palest indigo, with carpets on the floor and comfortable furniture placed tastefully about. A broad marble conference table with six chairs sat in the middle of the largest of several such rooms. Oil chandeliers gave the chamber a soft, inviting glow. It was not entirely unlike being in one of the smaller rooms of the Redoubt. Presumably, the Minions got their tastes in decorating from their erstwhile masters (though indigo is usually used to refer to very deep shades of blue, not pale…)… though it does seem rather at odds with the spectacle we just witnessed, I must admit. They all sit down at the table; Traax takes out his weapons and places them on it, and Tristan and Ox do the same. Traax then orders food and drink, brought in by female servants. Tristan realized that these were the first Minion women he had ever seen. *raising an eyebrow* Oh? Have you forgotten your “true love” Narrissa from the previous book already then? Or do the Gallipolai not count as Minions, for some inexplicable reason? But of course, they were quite beautiful and Tristan notes their proud posture rather than how meek he assumes they must have been under Kluge, and thinks that his orders have made some positive good – because clearly, all that is required for massive social change is one man to come in and tell people to do things differently. What else could possibly do it? Traax tells the women what he wants, and then adds please and Tristan is amused to note their smirks, and this would be far more noteworthy if these women had names. They are strong, the Minion women… Many of the warriors, especially those who have recently married as a result of your permission, seem to be even happier than before. Minion warriors prefer their women to be forceful and sexually aggressive. Given their newfound freedoms, the females have responded in kind. Many of them have even made significant suggestions as to the rebuilding and decorating of the Recluse. And of course, we hear all of this from Traax, because even freed, Ancestors forbid the Minion women be given an actual voice. Newcomb is nothing if not predictable.
Tristan only asks for Traax’s report, and when he gives it, he wants to know all about the Kachinaar, what crimes the victims were accused of, and why the arena was built (is it not obvious?). Apparently, the warrior whose head Tristan saw being used as a ball was accused of raping another man’s Gallipolai wife (and was this woman’s marital status truly the important thing to note here, not just that she was raped?). Traax has no doubt that he was guilty and was punished accordingly. He explains, as Ox did earlier, that if two Kachinaars are held close to one another the first victim’s head is used as the ball for the games that will compose the second Kachinaar (though unlike Ox, he does not say that the two warriors must have been accused of the same crime – I do not know if this is an error on Newcomb’s part, or on Ox’s). Apparently, the second warrior was also accused of raping the same woman, as he was a friend of the first man, but Traax is unsure about his guilt. And so, a potential rapist walks free without his guilt or innocence actually being determined in a way that says anything; lovely. And I’ll note that the judgments of the two Kachinaars (which are, apparently, supposed to leave the judgment in the hand of fate, despite the Minions demonstrating no belief in fate otherwise) align exactly with Traax’s opinion on the matter. I suspect this system may not be impartial… Traax further explains that the stadium was built out of marble left over from the destruction of the original Recluse, and Traax wanted it built for Kachinaars important enough he wanted large numbers of Minions to be able to attend. It has become quite a tradition. *flatly* I am so sure it has. The fact that the Minions’ new national pastime requires a steady stream of guilty verdicts to provide the “ball” being, of course, entirely coincidental. The arena is called the Proscenium of Indictment (and both of those words are used appropriately – I admit, I am impressed!) and though there are many Kachinaar arenas (Ancestors save us!) this one is a new favorite. Tristan is left bewildered; allowing this form of barbarism to exist here, under his aegis, was unthinkable, but he also needs all the Minions to fight the hatchlings and cannot risk offending them. And I have absolutely no faith in Newcomb’s ability to resolve this ethical dilemma with any nuance whatsoever.
Dastardly Deeds: 92
Exposition Intrusion: 206 (for Traax mostly regurgitating Ox’s previous explanations)
Gender Wars: 88
Gratuitous Grimdark: 66 (of course it was rape…)
Len: Well, Princey wonders what Wigg would say if he was here (pretty sure Wigg’s only issue with Kachinaar would be that he wouldn’t get to be the one rendering judgment…) and decides that Wigg would tell him to forget the things he saw, no matter how vile and instead focus on his cause. And… yeah, that tracks. So he decides that since he needs the Minions so much, he won’t try to shut down the Kachinaar. He would not condemn these traditions. But he would not give them his verbal approval, either. *rolling her eyes* What a brave stand he takes, our Princey. And so, he tells Traax that he’s ordering the Minions back to Eutracia to destroy new enemies there. Traax… seems pretty into the idea, actually. It has been too long since we have seen action, my lord… and it will be good for our swords to again taste blood, especially since we can no longer train to the death. Your enemies are ours… tell me more. And so, again, after all that build up, it really was that easy. *applauds sarcastically* Great job, Newcomb! The Minion women – still not speaking and not named – start serving their meal, and once they’re gone, he starts eating, in between bites, he gave Traax his orders. Basically, he’s putting the reconstruction of the Recluse on hold, and he wants the fleet ready to depart for Eutracia as soon as possible. Should there be any serious problems in the execution of his orders, a Minion messenger was to come through the portal, informing him. He goes on to describe the hatchlings and the scarabs, and Traax only smiled, his sense of anticipation growing. *rolling her eyes* Oh, great – he’s one of those freaks who’s all about fighting worthy opponents and winning glory on the battlefield, isn’t he? Every soldier’s favorite kind of officer. Me, I prefer the types who try to keep the soldiers under their command, you know, alive. Princey doesn’t mention anything about Nicholas or the Gates of Dawn, planning to fill him in once they’re under way. He did not wish to confuse the issue for his second in command, and I have no idea why – Traax is the only one here, and you’re planning to tell him anyway, so why not now?
He also doesn’t want Traax, or any of the Minions, to know that the wizards are losing their powers – okay, that one does make sense – but does warn them that should you see any weakness or fading in consistency of the vortex, it is paramount that no more warriors go through. Which is basically a pompous way of saying that if the portal starts breaking down, don’t go through or you might die. Traax says he understands, and Princey tells him to leave behind a small force for hunting the shrews, but everyone else is to be ready to go in five days (that’s… fast. There’s tens of thousands of Minions, aren’t there? Rallying that many troops takes time, especially when they’re spread out all over the country). Traax himself is to cross to Eutracia by the portal, and they’ll have more to discuss then. Traax does remind Princey that crossing the Sea of Whispers the whole way takes thirty days, and Princey admits he knows, but there’s not much he can do about it. And in the meantime Minion troops should be pouring through the portal, especially if my wizards can find a way to enlarge it, or to hold it open longer. Huh; I just imagined the look on Wigg’s and Faegan’s faces if they heard they were described as “his” wizards. It was pretty satisfying, I’ll admit. Traax then asks if Princey is aware of the bargain the Coven made to cross the Sea of Whispers; Princey realizes it’s about to come out, but he needs to find a way to get the Minions to tell him without admitting he doesn’t know. This has to do with the craft… for nothing else in this world gives pause to a Minion warrior. *rolling her eyes* Oh, no… I’d have thought the creepy haunted ocean was crossed by purely mundane means! My mistake! Tristan lies and says the forced the information out of the Coven before he killed them, and he’ll have to make allowances for increased difficulty this time around. He also reminds Traax that he knows he’s done this before, because he saw him in Tammerland the day my family and the Directorate of Wizards were all murdered. So, I guess we’re not just sweeping that under the rug, then? I’d say it’s good for Newcomb, but… I’m with ‘Hani, I’m not trusting him to handle this with any nuance at all.
Contrivances and Coincidences: 42
Exposition Intrusion: 210
Gender Wars: 89
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 97
Yhani: And so Traax admits he was there, and that he follows his orders, no matter who gives them (at least in my world, that does not count as a defense…). That is why he did not turn on Tristan after he killed Kluge. Usurping one’s lord in unfair battle is not the Minion way. It is something you shall be quite glad of when we finally arrive again upon your shores. I still remain unaware as to what is stopping Traax from challenging Tristan to a duel, then killing him, then claiming overlordship of all the Minions… Tristan decides that Traax is telling the truth and realizes he is starting to respect him (I will remind you that this day started with you watching Traax presiding over a game where a severed head was used as the ball). He wants to hear Traax’s description of the crossing, just to make certain it matches what the Coven supposedly told him. As Tristan’s bluff…apparently worked for the moment, how convenient, Traax describes how, fifteen days out from shore, the ships will be waylaid by the Necrophagians, who will only allow them to pass after receiving an offering of forty corpses. He asks how Tristan intends to provide a set of forty fresh corpses and asks if he can hold a session of training to the death on deck immediately beforehand. And even then, the Necrophagians may not honor their bargain, as it was made with the Coven, who are dead. Tristan, stunned, makes certain that Ox remembers things the same way – he does – and decides that either my wizards shall deal with the Necrophagians, or we shall not cross by sea. One way or another, we shall find a solution. So, Tristan is standing by his principles here… which would be more impressive had he not decided to abandon them for expedience earlier. He then notices Traax giving him an odd look; Traax asks if he is well, having noticed the poisoned veins in his arm, but Tristan dismisses it as a battle wound. He rises and asks if Traax understands his orders, and then when he says he does the three of them head back out into the arena. Tristan says he intends to return to Eutracia at once, as Faegan has been opening the portal every hour on the hour. He will walk to the place where it opened, while Traax returns to the Recluse to begin mustering his troops. They will be most happy to hear of it. I shall see you in Eutracia, in five days’ time. Tristan agrees, and he and Traax shake hands; the pact had been made. They then turn to walk away – Traax to the Recluse, Tristan and Ox to the portal. In the distance, Tristan can hear cheering as Traax returns to the fortress. Looking up at the moons, he remembers his many loved ones who had died at Minion hands, and as the chapter ends asks for the Afterlife to grant me the peace to know what I have done is right.
MG: Spoilers – it is. IIRC, bringing the Minions back to Eutracia will have nothing but positive consequences, and based on my recollections and a quick search through my ebook copies of the series, the term “Kachinaar” is never mentioned in the series again. So, the ethical dilemma is resolved… by ignoring it completely from here on out. Same with the Necrophagians. Tristan gets around having to sacrifice to them in order for the fleet to cross by just not using the fleet, which in turn will have no impact on his ability to get the Minions back to Eutracia. Well done, Newcomb!
Exposition Intrusion: 213
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 98
Chapter Forty-One
Len: Well, we leave behind our decapitation-happy Minions to open our next chapter with Wigg. *beat* Dammit, Newcomb, that’s not an improvement! He’s sitting at a rather large table in the Redoubt, while Faegan sits next to him holding an oddly-shaped glass beaker, full of liquid that’s glowing brightly. Wait, is it glowing azure though, Newcomb? Inquiring minds want to know! We learn that Tristan and Ox are still in Parthalon, but they’ve not been gone long enough for the wizards to be worried, Shailiha’s in her room, and everyone else is going about their duties, whatever those may be. So, it turns out a couple of days ago Faegan took off the Paragon and stuck it in the waters of the Well in the Redoubt, to see what happens. Turns out that the wizards retained their powers while it was in there, but the decay of the Paragon didn’t stop. They’re apparently amazed by this for some reason, even though I’m pretty sure the Well is supposed to have the same waters as the Caves, and the Paragon works when it’s immersed in the Cave waters, so… how’s that any different? And so, we learn that though an untrained eye might think the Paragon was losing its powers at a steady rate, Faegan has determined it’s actually accelerating, so he’s ready to experiment to at least try to find a solution. He thinks that the glow in his beaker is a murky light… but not one without possibilities in the darkness of our troubles. Yay. *beat* I have no idea what that means. He apparently mixed this stuff up after doing research in the Redoubt library, and though it took him a long time with his powers reduced, he finally managed it. Wigg asks if Faegan really thinks this’ll work, and Faegan asks if Wigg really doubts his abilities. Apparently spending time in his lab has energized Faegan – Sovereigns help us, he really is some mad alchemist, isn’t he? – and I’ve got to think that a non-energized Faegan was bad enough – not looking forward to this version.
Faegan points out he was right about the Forestallments, and right about the connection between Shailiha and the Fliers and the hatchling, and wonders if Wigg wants to go for two out of three. Gah, I have no idea who to root for, here – I hate them both! Wigg only asks if Shawna the Short *collapses into snickering* has done her part too, and Faegan assures him she did it this morning. She has, of course, absolutely no idea why I would request something so bizarre. *flatly* She’s known you for three hundred years. She’s probably used to it by now. She certainly loves a good mystery. Almost childish about it, in fact. And you certainly love being a condescending asshole, you know that? Wigg thinks Shawna’s not the only childish one around here, and dammit, I hate agreeing with him. Wigg tells Faegan to get on with it, and he levitates them both into the air and then pours the liquid onto the floor. Almost immediately the fluid began to spread across the floor, finally progressing from wall to wall and corner to corner. Yeah, fluid… does that. Not one scintilla was left uncovered. And then, after several moments had passed, the fluid completely disappeared. Okay, that I wasn’t expecting. Faegan tells Wigg it’s time to go and the two wizards levitate out of the room and into the hallway, and this very short chapter ends as the doors close behind them and the two ancient friends *gag* - and weren’t they out of contact for centuries, during which time Wigg thought Faegan was a traitor and all? – make their way down the corridor. And I have no idea what the point of any of that was. Yay.
Contrivances and Coincidences: 43 (any particular reason why we weren’t told what the wizards were doing and why?)
Exposition Intrusion: 214 (mostly for Faegan telling us how he made this stuff, but not why or what it does).
Chapter Forty-Two
Yhani: And so, we open this chapter with Tristan, apparently returned from Parthalon, as he sits at a table with Faegan, Wigg and Shailiha (and Morganna, asleep in a sling Shailiha is carrying). He has just finished describing his experiences in Parthalon. Faegan agrees that they cannot allow the armada to cross the Sea of Whispers. The Necrophagians’ bargain was with the Coven, and the sorceresses are all dead. We have no way to know whether the bargain would still be honored, and we can’t risk losing all those warriors for nothing. On the other hand, I imagine Faegan would be quite willing to sacrifice all of those warriors if he thought he and his side would profit from it, based on his previous behavior… He decides to send Ox back to Parthalon at once, with written orders from Tristan to halt the sailing. He decides he will just have to keep the portal open for longer stretches of time, though it will be difficult, and Tristan notices that both Faegan and Shailiha look tired and asks if something happened while he was away (yes, a very strange and pointless experiment just took place…). Shailiha assures Tristan that she is fine, and nothing happened, because of course, we are keeping the fact that she learned to control the hatchlings secret… for some reason. Tristan then tells her about his seizure, and how he had never felt anything so painful before. He asks if they are any closer to finding a cure – Faegan admits they are not, but he has discovered something he thinks will cheer Tristan up. Faegan leads the others up into the castle and to the door to Queen Morganna’s old rooms; when he goes inside, Tristan is expecting any number of bizarre things, but what stood before him now was the last thing he had ever expected. Considering these books, that is… rather more ominous than it might otherwise have been. But it is, in fact, the hatchling he and Ox had captured stood in the center of the room on its strong rear legs. Which is… rather more mundane than I would have thought, from that description. And I thought we were not telling Tristan Shailiha learned to control it? *sigh* Or are Wigg and Faegan simply going to take the credit?
Tristan reaches for his dreggan, but Faegan tells him he will not need it. Tristan examines the hatchling, and as it makes no threatening move, he finally realizes that they’ve broken it, or trained it somehow! No, not they, Shailiha did it, but so far the wizards seem determined not to give her credit. And then Tristan is shaken away from that thought entirely as he sees the hatchling is wearing a harness and saddle and realizes that they actually expect me to ride it! Ride it through the sky! Well, you are meant to be fighting an aerial war, commanding winged troops – unless you would rather Ox carry you everywhere? Tristan asks if they are joking, and Wigg admits they are not, though they do have some explaining to do. Tristan asks if Shailiha knew, and she lied convincingly – really, Newcomb, if you have to say it, that does not inspire confidence – that she did, but I didn’t really have anything to do with it… it was all the wizards’ idea. *coldly* And so far as I can tell, the only reason to lie at all is to allow the wizards to take credit for what Shailiha did. I see Newcomb truly is not improving. Wigg also lies, telling Tristan it cannot talk even though it has human arms – clearly, my knowledge of human anatomy is worse than I thought, as I was unaware arms are the organ of speech – and that so far as he can determine (how?) there are three generations of the hatchlings, and this one is of the second. Tristan wants to know how they know it will not simply fly him back to the enemy (perhaps you would know the answer to that if Shailiha was allowed to tell you!) but Faegan considers the possibility to be illogical. Which would not make it stand out, in this book… But, since the hatchling attacked Tristan after he had just left Nicholas, and Nicholas could have captured Tristan himself, he doubts it was sent to take him prisoner (unless it got new orders…). Tristan wonders what the hatchling was doing, then and Faegan guesses it was part of the force that attacked Ilendium, and then got separated from the others and started wandering around on its own (and somehow ended up right next to Tristan, right outside the very lair of its masters? That strikes me as illogical, old man!). I suggest you start being more positive about all this, and stop looking a gift bird in the mouth, so to speak. Considering the “gift bird” is a captured enemy asset – yes, I at least would want absolute assurances that I knew all about it and that it could be trusted, before I trusted my life to it!
Contrivances and Coincidences: 45 (this whole deception serves no purpose…)
Gender Wars: 90 (…except to prop up the wizards at Shailiha’s expense)
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 100 (again, what’s the point of all this?)
Len: So, Princey asks where the hatchling’s saddle and bridle came from, and it turns out Geldon made them. As it turns out, among his many other talents, he’s quite a good leatherworker, too. Well, isn’t that convenient. And Geldon continues to be the only half-decent character in this mess, so it’s not so surprising. Tristan studies the saddle a bit and wonders what all the belts are for, so Shailiha tells him they’re to keep him from falling off in midair. That you, Shailiha – you also continue to be half-decent, sorry for snubbing you there, and it’s too bad your wizards (or your author, for that matter…) clearly don’t appreciate you at all. And it turns out Shailiha was the one who insisted on all the straps in the first place, since she knows Princey’s an excellent equestrian but has never ridden a flying creature before. He still wants to know how they turned it to their side, and Faegan says Nicholas’s control just wasn’t as strong as they’d thought (you’re not a very good liar, are you, old man?). Assuming this to be true, I invoked a spell that allowed me to sense when his control was at its lowest point. That’s when I broke the bond, turning it to our side… but all of that is wizards’ business, and you needn’t concern yourself with the whys or the hows of it all. *crossly* Yeah, and you wouldn’t be the first smugly self-satisfied wizard I’ve punched, so try me again, why don’t you? And isn’t Princey supposed to become a wizard himself someday or something? Shouldn’t he be learning this? Princey wonders what’s wrong with just riding Pilgrim and, look, Tristan, this battle is going to be in the air. Why is that such a hard concept to grasp, that a flying mount might come in handy? Unless you expect Ox to carry you and Pilgrim. Don’t think he’s that strong.
And indeed, Wigg points that all out, and dammit, I really hate agreeing with him on anything! So Princey finally realizes that by the imperious look on Wigg’s face that no more questions were going to be answered at the moment, so good, I can go back to thinking he’s a bastard, then. And then Shailiha taunts him, asking if he’s afraid of doing something Scrounge can do without a saddle (which I guess her butterfly told her about…) and that, sure enough, gets Princey moving. *she sighs* And prodding the immature male ego does the trick. Figures. Princey makes the hatchling kneel down, and he climbs into the saddle and then he says we’ll see about that before it takes off. Congratulations – you’re a thirty-year-old man with the emotional maturity of a teenager. You must be so proud. Princey and the hatchling take off, leaving the others behind to watch them go. Shailiha asks if he believed them; Wigg thinks that he’s highly intelligent and very stubborn (the latter I’ll give you, but the former… *she bursts out laughing) so it’s hard to say, but the important thing is, he’s finally on that bird. That’s not a sentence I think I’ve ever seen before… He compliments Shailiha on bringing up Scrounge, since that’s what finally motivated him, but he must ride none other than that particular monstrosity of the craft into battle if we are to have any hope of succeeding at this. So, I guess the Prophecies mention that particular hatchling, then? Wouldn’t have guessed that… anyway, the three of them turn and head back into the Redoubt, and the chapter ends there.
MG: Well, these chapters had… issues. First off, I still can’t get over how edgelordy the Minions using a severed head as a ball in their sports is – that’s, like, literally the stuff of parody. Not to mention… how is this supposed to determine the guilt or innocence of the Minion in question? Is it a form of combat by champion? But it seems like the teams are random, instead of the accused getting to actually fight for themselves or actually pick a champion, so… how does that solve anything? If there’s any religious reason for it, we’re not told that either. It’s like… they’re evil, so they must like blood sport, even in contexts where it makes no sense. And on that note… it’s very odd that Newcomb takes this chapter to once again make the Minions cartoonishly evil and introduce the question of the morality of using them, only to immediately sweep it under the rug and have it never be relevant to any significant degree again. Faegan’s and Wigg’s experiment accomplished exactly nothing story-wise and yet got its own chapter, and I have no idea why Newcomb bothered; we do find out what it's for a bit later and it's, uh, kind of underwhelming (and its actual purpose is still very poorly foreshadowed). And as for Tristan, while he’s right to question the presence of the hatchling, the fact that he only hops on it when Shailiha implies he’s less of a man than his new nemesis just makes me feel like he’s regressed emotionally to adolescence, which is saying something considering where he started. And the wizards lying that they, and not Shailiha, are the ones who controlled the hatchling seems to serve no purpose or than to establish that we just can’t give a woman credit for anything in these books (if Nicholas finds out about this, he’ll know they can take control of the hatchlings away from him, so why does it matter if he thinks it’s Faegan and not Shailiha who did it?). Anyway, next time, we wrap up Part IV, as a traitor is revealed. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 168
Contrivances and Coincidences: 46
Dastardly Deeds: 92
Exposition Intrusion: 216
Gender Wars: 92
Gratuitous Grimdark: 66
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 102
I’m also partway through my reread and commentary on the (in)famous epic Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic Embers which can be found here if you’re interested!
Since this January, 2024, marks my tenth anniversary as a sporker at this comm, I also did a brief writeup reflecting on my experiences here, my past sporkings, and a bit on what I’m likely to be doing in the near future; you can read it on my journal here if that interests you!
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Date: 2024-02-18 04:59 am (UTC)Minion warriors prefer their women to be forceful and sexually aggressive. Given their newfound freedoms, the females have responded in kind.
This feel weirdly sexually objectifying. I also, once again, have waaaay too much insight into Newcomb's fetishes than I ever wanted.
Usurping one’s lord in unfair battle is not the Minion way. It is something you shall be quite glad of when we finally arrive again upon your shores.
This seems like a threat.
I still remain unaware as to what is stopping Traax from challenging Tristan to a duel, then killing him, then claiming overlordship of all the Minions…
Well, Traax has got a good deal here. Rule the Minions yourself while Tristan goes off to his country and does stuff, and only surrender control when he infrequently comes back. The things he orders doesn't really make your power weaker anyway. Additionally, if anyone wants to upsurp leadership, Tristan is the target.
And why not get Shailiha on top of that mount, which she can actually control? Additionally, she probably has more magic training than Tristan. Of course, I know the answer.