![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pangolin20 posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
antishurtugal_rebornPeek at the Glossary (Part II) | Chapter Eighteen (Part II)
NRSG: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, I wrapped up our tour of the glossary. Let me attend to the reader post first:
On the second part of the glossary, Chessy points out that the existence of just a single brotherhood is absolutely ludicrous. Indeed, after a thousand years, I would expect there to be quite a variety of them.
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 27
She also points out that there is no mention of Artor in the entry on the Way of the Plough. Well done, Douglass!
PPP: 80
Finally, she points out that there, so far, has been no description of what the Way of the Plough tells its followers about how to live.
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 28
On part I of the prologue, Maegwin rightly points out that expecting people to have sex and then not get pregnant at Beltide makes very little sense.
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 29
She also points out that saying that Magariz’s troops lost “more than 86 people” is quite clunky.
PPP: 81
Also, Epistler has drawn a portrait of me!
Very well done, Epistler! I only think Scales ought to have been more specific about the drawing, as I have genuine arms, and my wings are on my back. That aside, it is very cute… It looks like how I would envision my little sibling, if I had one. Hmmm… (taps beak) No, that is for another time.
Let us resume with the story, then!
We last left off on a “romantic” scene between Axis and Faraday, and Veremund approaching Faraday to tell her they need to talk, with his eyes glowing.
Chapter Eighteen: The Sentinels Speak
Hopefully this means we will get to learn something here…
Well, Faraday steps backwards, almost tripping over the boulder she sat on. We get this: “What was wrong with his eyes? All the tales about the evil aspects of the Forbidden she had heard as a child came rushing back to her.” So, very good idea, Veremund! It is also nice to see someone be actually afraid of “the Forbidden”!
Veremund holds out his hand to her, and he tells her not to be afraid. “We do not mean to hurt you. Come, take my hand.” This comes across as very creepy to me, I must say. Run away, Faraday!
Faraday freezes up and stands there, “heart beating wildly”. Veremund asks her to please take his hand. His tone is “soft and gentle”, and Faraday “[finds] herself” reaching out her hand. Note the wording. I do not get the impression that she wants to do this, but rather that this is because of a spell Jack attached to her. And then:
The moment his fingers touched Faraday a feeling of tranquillity flooded over her.
So he just put a spell on her to make her feel calm, so she will go along with them. And from what I have seen of the rest of the chapter, this is not treated as worthy of comment.
Look Away: 12
I am truly beginning to hate this book, I must say. (Also, “a feeling of tranquillity flooded over her”… Paolini, is that you?)
Veremund asks her if she will walk with them for a while, as “[t]he others” are waiting to talk to her, too. He begins to lead her to the nearest Barrow. Faraday asks who those “others” are, and what they want to talk about. She then realises that Veremund must have seen her talk with Axis. She panics, and says that it was “simply foolishness”, and that it meant nothing. She asks him if he please will not tell Merlion.
Veremund puts Yr down and says that he will not tell Merlion. However, what happened between her and Axis “hardly meant nothing”. Faraday counters it has nothing to do with Veremund, then, and what happens between Axis and herself is their own business. Veremund shakes his head and says that neither she nor Axis will have “very private lives in the future”.
Which Faraday ought to know by now. I do think this counts as Petty, since this is quite far from what I might expect of her.
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 7
Veremund then says they have to climb a little, and she should save her breath. So they climb up one of the Barrows. Veremund is still holding her hand, and Faraday often has to lean on her other as they are climbing. After “some fifteen minutes”, she asks where they are going. We get a note that Yr is bounding up the slope “with an apparently endless supply of feline grace and energy”.
Veremund shushes her and says they are almost there. And what did you need to shush her for, then?
ASWLT: 12
We are also told that Veremund is “hardly breathing deeply at all”, because of course he is not winded. Also, I think that should be “hardly panting at all”; not breathing deeply is only to be expected after climbing the Barrow.
PPP: 82
A moment later, they reach the top. Though they are in an exposed spot, the air is “still and calm” and there is no touch of wind at all. Well, good to see that “the others” thought of that. Faraday, of course, does not notice anything off about this. From her “vantage point” at 95 metres, the campfires of the Axe-Wielders look like “a necklace of diamonds and rubies nestling around the Barrows.” Well, that is a nice simile. Then we get this:
“Look,” Veremund pointed. “They wait.”
Faraday followed his finger. “Oh!” she exclaimed, surprised.
There is nothing exactly wrong here, but this feels so unnecessary to have. Could we not have cut to “the others” directly, and have Faraday be surprised by them then?
Some “twenty paces away”, in the centre of the top of the Barrow, Ogden and Jack are sitting in “a circle of white stones”. Jack’s staff lies outside of “the ring of white stones”. Because we truly need that phrase twice in two sentences.
PPP: 83
It truly seems to me that there was quite little proofreading done on this. Faraday wonders how Jack got here, since they rode so fast. Veremund says “mildly” that Jack knows the land better than the Axe-Wielders do, and he tells her to come.
She lets herself be led toward them (poor Faraday). Yr reappears and goes to sit between Jack and Ogden as Faraday and Veremund “step[] up”. Faraday steps into the circle. Jack smiles at her, “although he [does] not rise”. He calls her “[l]ovely lady” again, and says it “gladdens [his] heart” to see her again.
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 9
It certainly does not “gladden” my heart to see him back. Faraday gives him a careful look, and she notes he does not “look so simple” now, though she can still sense his “good-hearted nature”. He tells her to sit down in “this our circle”, and to know that she will be safe among them. So is this a magical circle that gives protection?
Faraday sits down “cross-legged” and tugs her skirt “over her knees and ankles”. She turns to Veremund to say something, but he sits down and puts a finger to her lips. Keep away from her, Veremund, or I think I will intervene.
ASWLT: 13
He tells her to be quiet, as she must “simply watch and listen” for the moment. They will eventually answer her questions either way, and she must remember that she is in no danger. You just controlled her mind, Veremund! She is in plenty of danger!
Come to think of it, I think it quite typical that Faraday is the one who gets this.
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 8
Faraday looks around the group, and she notes that their eyes are glowing most unusually, “almost as if there were coloured lamps behind them”. And now she is not scared at all of this. I can think of no clearer sign of the mind-control going on here.
Look Away: 13
Ogden and Veremund’s eyes shine golden, Jack’s “a brilliant emerald green”, and Yr’s “a deep midnight blue”. Then we get this:
“Let us begin,” Yr said in a soft, burred voice, the end of her tail twitching slightly.
Ah, a talking cat! How quaint. It does make sense, of course, but it still feels to me like Douglass was going down a list of tropes at this point.
Faraday just “manage[s] to stifle a shocked gasp”. So she can still be shocked; that is good to see. I guess the spell only made her more trusting of these people? Come to think of it, I think this needs more points…
Look Away: 23 (+10)
There we go. Yr blinks at her, and turns back to her companions. She prompts them to say what they are. Ogden whispers “[d]iligent”, in a tone that reminds Faraday of “brothers when they chant[] the Service of the Plough”. That aside, I have not see them be “diligent” per se.
Jack says they are “careful”, and Veremund says “heedful”, neither of which I believe we have seen. They are now “chanting”, and they take turns with carrying it on. We get more adjectives: “attentive”, “mindful”, “regardful”, and “thoughtful”. For one, they certainly are not all of these things; it is not “regardful” at all to control people’s minds, after all! For another, I get the idea that Douglass simply threw in some positive adjectives that she thought fit them, as there is no… flow to them.
PPP: 83
Veremund now prompts them to say who they are. This gets “harbourers”, “keepers”, “shelterers”, and “servants”. That fits better, I think. Then they all chant “We wait for…” This gets as answers “The One” (I think you need to go to Principalis for that), “The Appointed”, “The Saviour”, and “The StarMan”. So they are all waiting for Axis? Makes sense, I think…
Finally, they all look at Faraday and they shout “We are the Sentinels!” At that, the clouds “mill[] in sudden anger” and lightning shoots through them. Thunder roars, so load that the Barrow trembles.
Well, okay then. This is… it is not wrong to have, and it is not as out-of-place as it might be, but it still is not very well executed. Especially with the thunder and lightning following, this feels like something from a stage play. And that… is a bit of a problem, since this is not a stage play?
Tone Soap: 29
Also good to know that these are indeed the Sentinels from the Prophecy! About time we had some confirmation.
Well, the “mood” is now broken, and Yr follows Faraday’s gaze to the sky. She explains that Gorgrael knows they have emerged from hiding again, and says “See his temper”. She is sure Gorgrael will seek them out “soon enough”. Oh, so we might get an appearance of the villain? How nice! Also, I think you should warn the Axe-Wielders, as they will probably get caught up in Gorgrael’s attack, too.
Faraday looks down and asks what this is, and who and what they are. She looks at Jack, because she cannot talk directly to Yr. She asks how Yr can speak. I do like that she is reasonably confused here.
Jack “smile[s] gently at her confusion”. He explains that they all “choose different forms”. So they can shapeshift? I bet it will never be used when it would be useful. He says that Yr prefers “a form that will let her be stroked as much as possible”, since she “has always been a sensual creature”. Which, if I remember right, will be about half of her total characterisation. And of course she did not assume this form because it would be handy for spying or anything. That would be sensible.
Still, it fits, so I cannot complain too much. Jack says not all of them are “so social”. He himself and the brothers “prefer solitude to company”, and prefer the “pursuits of the mind” instead of the “pleasures of the flesh”. Faraday looks at the brothers’ filthy habits, and thinks they have completely ignored the “basics of cleanliness”, too. She wrinkles her nose at this, and I completely agree.
Ogden now speaks up, which we are helpfully told is the first time he does so. As for what they are, he says, Faraday “[does] not need to know it all”. Because of course not.
This Is What The Mystery: 11
He can tell her that they are “creatures of the Prophecy”, “recruited and recreated and bound to serve [it]”. Yes, that makes me so much more trusting of them. They are “watchers and waiters”, but they are also “servants”.
Faraday forgets her distaste and blinks in confusion, as she is unable to take in all the information. She asks if they are the “Brothers Ogden and Veremund”, or “some kind of magical creatures”.
Ogden explains what we were already told, namely that Ogden and Veremund died a long while ago, and now they have taken on the identity of the Brothers. Because stealing their identity is a completely right thing to do, people!
Look Away: 24
Manage Your Info Better: 21
Because any visitors to the Keep would expect to find Brothers of the Seneschal, “[they] simply assumed the forms of Ogden and Veremund”. Given how horrible they were at playing the part, they might have been better off simply saying up front who they were!
Ill Logic: 25 (+5)
That would also have saved us having to put up with them for so long! Well, Ogden now goes to the “magical creatures” bit. He shrugs, and says that perhaps they are, but they wield very little magic, and each of them “has slightly different talents”. But that does not mean that you are not magical, Ogden. Like, I have very different talents from the SCSF, but that does not mean either of us is not magical.
Ill Logic: 26
Faraday shudders and bites her lip, noting that “[s]he [does] not want to hear any more.” Well, little wonder! Jack adopts a firm tone and says that she must hear it, and he calls her “lovely lady” again.
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 10
That aside, did he just read her mind?! That is the idea I am getting, at least!
Look Away: 25
He reiterates that they are creatures of the Prophecy and serve it, and then… Well, see for yourself.
You are now also bound up in it, and you have no choice but to let the Prophecy bind you to its will.”
“No, no,” Faraday whispered. “This is madness!” She wanted desperately to get up and run, but her limbs felt heavy and refused to move for her.
…
“She must nothing, Jackass”, someone said behind her. She managed to turn her head just enough to see the speaker. It was a man-shaped green bird wearing a robe.
She redoubled her efforts to break free, and she managed to stumble to her feet and step away a bit. In the circle, the others Sentinels did likewise. The bird held out a hand to her, in which it held a feather. “Take this if you want to flee.”
She snatched it from the bird’s hand and clenched it in her own, then stepped back as well as she could. The bird stepped forward, looking at the Sentinels one by one. “Is this what you think is right? Brainwashing people to support your cause? You are a shame to Tencendor.”
Yr hissed and said, “Without us, Gorgrael will bury the whole land beneath his ice. And thanks to you, that might even happen!”
“I think you have an overly high opinion of yourselves,” the bird said. As Faraday watched, she could feel something like a ripple pass through her, and suddenly her limbs reacted as they should again. She turned and ran as hard as she could.
Before long, she reached a corner of the Barrow, and she narrowly avoided falling over the edge. A frantic look over her shoulder showed her that the Sentinels and the bird were still at the middle of the Barrow. She turned around, so she could keep a better eye on them.
As she did so, Jack tried to grab the bird. In response, it threw out its arms, and a silent shockwave rolled over the Barrow. It blew the Sentinels over the edge, but passed by Faraday without touching her.
She looked over the edge of the Barrow, and, though it was hard to see in the darkness, she though she saw the Sentinels touching down at the bottom of the slope unharmed. Looking up again, she saw the bird still stood in the circle of stones, making no move to attack her.
She used the reprieve to focus on getting her breath and her racing heart back under control. She had expected adventure when she left Skarabost, but never something like this! When she was feeling somewhat better, she looked at the feather in her hand. It was a feather of a kind she did not recognise: long and white, which meant it certainly did not belong to the green bird. Speaking of the bird…
She gathered her courage and asked, “Why did you give me this?”
The bird looked stepped a little closer and said, “That was to get rid of the spells the Sentinels had cast on you. As long as you carry the feather with you, no one can cast a spell on you without your permission. I would advise you to break it into pieces and scatter those in your food or drink. That way you will always be safe.”
She looked at the feather again. Would it truly protect her against spells? It might be worth trying anyway; if she did not want to, she could throw it away, and no one would be the wiser. As she looked at it, her mind became free to thinking once again, and her confusion grew.
“What did the Sentinels want to do? What did you do to them? And who are you?”
The bird plucked a scroll from one of the sleeves of its robe, and tossed it to her. Somehow, she managed to catch it with her free hand. “I am someone who wants to help you. As for the rest, the scroll explains it better than I could now. Best of luck, and farewell!”
It walked to the edge of the Barrow, unfolded large wings, and flew off into the night, leaving Faraday alone on the plateau. She stood in the gusting wind for a while longer, and then slowly began to descend the slope.
So, consider that my intervention.
Now for what was in the book. I see that Faraday is prevented from running away by the spells of the Sentinels, and that is somehow not portrayed as something very horrible. I am also getting the distinct feeling that all this is happening to Faraday because Douglass hated her.
Look Away: 26
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 9
As for what Jackass is saying… She does have a choice! You were the ones who indirectly introduced her to the Prophecy in the first place, you were the ones who put spells on her, and you are the ones who want to press her into this! I hate all of them, and I think I should have done worse to them in the fic.
But seriously, this scenario seems to me to fit in better with a horror story. I think I will make this count…
Resistance Is Futile: 1
Oh, I know she will eventually have a happy ending, but in the meantime…
Ogden speaks up again, telling her to remember the Prophecy, and that Gorgrael will come to overrun Tencendor, “[d]riven by all-consuming hatred, aided by his powerful magic”. The three races must unite. “That is the only way that Gorgrael can be stopped. But only one man can do it.” I have serious doubts about this. Again, why not talk to Gorgrael instead of trying to overpower him?
Well, Faraday recognises the One Man as Axis, and she says “Oh merciful Artor!” Yr immediately jumps on this, saying that “Merciful Artor” can do nothing, as it was “His minions” who drove out the Icarii and the Avar in the first place. She sweeps her tail angrily.
1) Will you stop laying into her?! She already is quite overwrought, and this will do nothing to help! …Oh, that is probably the whole point of this: give her no chance to sort out her thoughts, so she will agree to whatever the Sentinels want to.
2) “Artor’s minions”? Are we supposed to think that the followers of the Way of the Plough back then were under control of Artor, and that he wanted the Icarii and Avar gone?
Maria Monk Redux: 35
3) Also, good to see that Axis, the actual BattleAxe of the Seneschal, does not get any of this. It seems quite clear to me why not.
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 10
Veremund actually “remonstrate[s]” her, saying that Faraday “cannot help her upbringing” (exactly!). “Yet she will be true. She will do her duty.” And Yr adds that “She must!”
Resistance Is Futile: 2
Because who cares what Faraday wants. After all, she is just a puppet to be used by everyone around her, is she not? I hate this, and I hope that Faraday will find a way to sabotage this, in however small a way.
We are told that Yr is only “slightly mollified”, “still trapped in her hatred of the Seneschal”. Of all the Sentinels, Yr knows the most about its “internal machinations”, and the more she knows, the more she loathes the Brotherhood. Not that we will be told what she knows.
This Is What The Mystery: 12
Well, Faraday frowns, and she says that, if the Prophecy is correct, Borneheld is the Destroyer, as the StarMan is the Destroyer’s brother. Why, it seems Faraday has a quite good trope sense. The only problem is that Douglass decided to give Axis two evil brothers.
Someone says that Borneheld and Axis have the same mother, while Axis and Gorgrael have the same father. Faraday looks at the Sentinels and asks who Axis’s father is. At that, “Yr’s lips curl[]”. …She is a cat. True, she might have made this possible for herself, but still feels… off to me, like Douglass forgot she was a cat.
PPP: 84
Yr says that not even they know that and she wishes they would, as that “would make things so much clearer.” She reiterates that they are only servants of the Prophecy, and not even they “understand all of its riddles”.
And you clearly cannot be bothered to find out, either. Why are we supposed to trust these people again?
I would like to cut here for the time being. Until next time!
no subject
Date: 2024-03-25 04:54 am (UTC)Yeah, what the hell kind of fertility festival expects you to get an abortion afterwards?! Come on.
Yeah, that one's definitely on him because I specifically asked were there any more details I should know but all I got to work off was "green parakeet in a robe"! ^_^
What is with bad fantasy novels trampling all over consent and free will? My guess would be that if the characters were allowed to make their own choices they might refuse to serve their preset role in the almighty Plot, and we can't have that, now can we?
This despite the fact that she was early described as a chonky kitty.
No consideration given to the dead guys at all. And yeah, this is creepy.
Yeah. I mean come on, if Axis wasn't a complete idiot he'd have arrested them on the first day because THEY WERE OBVIOUSLY USING MAGIC.
We will never learn anything further about this. In fact the only supernatural things any of these chucklefucks ever do are make with the glowy eyes and read people's minds without consent.
Why oh why was this the least bit necessary or a smart thing to do unless they're deliberately trying to intimidate her? Just explain it calmly with no yelling and drama, ffs, you pretentious assholes!
Axis would probably have attacked them on the spot and quite frankly I wouldn't have blamed him.