Fractal Noise Kiss-Ass Review Spork

[epistler]

 So why did I need a palate cleanser in the form of those bad reviews? Well this is why. I was checking Paolini’s Twit feed yet again to see if the “big announcement” had finally happened (LOLNO). Instead, he’d tweeted this particularly insufferable review of Fractal Noise.

The only concession I’ll make is that this person was reviewing the Ukrainian translation; I’ve heard more than once that most of the translations fixed a lot of the problems with the prose (such as the Japanese translation changing Roran’s ridiculous dialogue in book three about cannibalism to just “you didn’t tell me they were cannibals! I’m going to vomit!” which is so much better it’s not even funny).

Other than that, no mercy.

When I opened the new book by Christopher Paolini, author of the already iconic «Eragon» series, I was expecting a great story full of adventure and drama.

When we open with fawning praise of the author’s existing books, you already know this is going to be heavily biased in favour of the book and author in question.

But «Fractal Noise» turns everything upside down, forcing the reader to go deeper into themselves.

I don’t know about you, but I definitely did a lot of soul-searching after reading that book. I had to face up to such difficult and painful questions as “why the fuck do I keep doing this to myself?” and would probably have started questioning my faith in god if I had any.

Pluses: high-quality publication with an attractive cover; deep psychological and emotional immersion; combination of science fiction and human drama; unusual presentation of the theme of grief and first contact; accessibility of presentation of complex ideas without loss of depth; atmospheric world building without excessive exposition; Paolini's writing level has become significantly better and more mature

“More mature”, eh? Is that why he put the shitballs in? And continued to have a protagonist who is a childish whiner?

Minuses: someone will not like the slow pace and lack of active dynamics; someone will also not like the lack of a bright ending and spectacle

Like me. I’m a someone. I’m not sure what “active dynamics” is supposed to mean, but I’m going easy on this reviewer with that sort of thing since he either wrote this in what was not his first language, or he wrote it in Ukrainian and someone translated it.

«Fractal Noise» is not about a battle for colonies, interstellar wars, or a new civilization to be discovered or destroyed. It’s about something much more subtle, deeper — about the painful human consciousness that tries to stay on the edge of pain, grief, loss, and endless walking somewhere where there may be nothing. But we have to walk. We put one foot in front of the other, and again. And again.

Nicely poetic, but not accurate to what’s actually in the book, because they don’t “have” to walk to the damn hole. There’s no urgent mission, no time restriction, no gun being held to their heads, figurative or literal. And guess what? It IS “nothing”. Going there was pointless from beginning to end.

Otherwise, death. Physical or mental, which is sometimes more frightening. If you are already interested, then read on because Paolini definitely managed to surprise me.

You were surprised by all that build-up to an ending that had no payoff whatsoever? I mean okay but that’s not the good kind of surprise. And no, stopping and turning back wouldn’t have killed them. It was the stupidly pressing on for no reason that killed them. (I’m ignoring that canonically Emolix did make it back alive because no way in hell were all those injuries and bloodloss remotely survivable).

In the distant future, on one of the edges of explored space, the crew of the ship «Adamura» discovers something inexplicable — a giant hole on the surface of the planet Talos VII. This is not just a hole in the ground. This is a real challenge. An alien mystery that beckons, a threat that humanity cannot ignore.

Um, WHY? HOW is it a “threat” and why can’t we just ignore it? It’s not doing anything except sit there making an obnoxious noise! He’s trying to slant it like it really was an urgent mission for all humanity’s sake, but what’s actually in the book doesn’t back that up in any way. Even the inane assumption that the non-existent aliens are super dangerous is forgotten as soon as it’s brought up. After that the only motivation is “I need the hole” like it’s now turned into a spiritual quest, and this is never explained.

For the protagonist, xenobiologist Alex Crichton, this expedition is not only a work assignment, but also a chance to cope with his traumas. To make sense of his inner chaos, to survive the loss of his wife, and to understand whether it is possible to find meaning where nothing matters.

How is a big noisy hole in the ground going to do any of that exactly?

But the further he and his team of equally traumatized colleagues go, literally and metaphorically, the more obvious it becomes: the mystery they face is not external. It is within them. And the answer may be more frightening than the question.

How is Chen traumatised? And what mystery? How much of a horrible misrepresentation of actual atheists Pushkin is? How psychotic Talia is? None of these characters are “mysterious”. They’re just assholes.

Christopher Paolini turns out to be able to write about physical exhaustion as if he were walking this path himself. In «Fractal Noise», walking is not just a way of getting around. It is an act that eventually becomes suffering, an effort that tests the limits of the body’s endurance. And at the same time, it is the only way not to break. This element is not just for decoration or to replace the action, it is the essence of the whole story.

That would be because his prose and pacing are exhausting all by themselves. And what nonsense is this about walking being “the only way not to break” or “the essence of the whole story”? And yes, it does replace any action we might have had, along with just about everything else. The only piece of media I can think of that’s this heavy on mindless travel is The Brown Bunny, and at least that had a cute little rabbit in it for a couple of scenes.

Alex’s simple physical movement through the desolate alien landscape is no less intense than any space battle. Every step hurts and reminds him of something. And it is in these repetitions of movement and pain that a person is revealed.

What is “revealed” about Emolix? All we ever find out about him is that he’s a huge asshole completely lacking in a single speck of empathy or compassion. We don’t learn even the most basic shit – his likes and dislikes, secret fears, hopes and dreams, etc. Most importantly of all given that this is supposed to have themes of faith and such, we never find out what his belief system is. He has no opinions other than disdain toward just about everything. Even his “love” for Layla is awful, selfish and unhealthy.

«Fractal Noise» — is not a novel for everyone. It’s for those who have put one foot in front of the other at least once in their lives, just to keep going.

Yes, very pretty, and also untrue. I’ve been in that exact situation both metaphorically and literally on many occasions and there is nothing in this book I can relate to on any level.

It’s not a story that falls on the reader with action. On the contrary, it creeps along, inexorably, but it fits the story perfectly.

The boring, boring “story”.

In «Fractal Noise» there is almost no action in the usual sense. There is silence. There is an alien signal that repeats every 10.6 seconds. There is a background hum of thoughts that cannot be turned off.

Yeah, I kinda noticed Emolix’s endless whiny internal monologue about how OMG SAD he is and how UNFAIR everything is and the UNCARING UNIVERSE and LIFE IS MEANINGLESS and he hates everyone and doesn’t care about anything BAWWWW! Because it went on for the entire. Fucking. Book.

This is also a first contact novel, but the writer takes a different angle from which people confront themselves and the past.

It is NOT a “first contact” story because the contact we were building up to NEVER HAPPENS. And nobody confronts themselves or their pasts. None of them become self-aware at any point. Instead, it’s the opposite. Everyone, most notably Talia and Pushkin, sinks deeper into their obsessive insistence that they are right and everyone else is wrong until it eventually escalates to murder.

Here, everything happens slowly, with long pauses. Scenes are repeated, which creates a certain pace of narration. Alex Crichton and his colleagues do the same thing. They walk. They set up camp. They listen. They reason. They argue. They pack up camp. They leave. And so on in a circle.

I don’t believe it.

This guy tried to slant how goddamn insanely repetitive and padded this thing is as a compliment. Like how is a book constantly rehashing the same scenes over and over again for three hundred pages a GOOD THING?

But inside, each of these actions is an important stage for everyone. A gradual transformation under the pressure of circumstances and the past that does not let go.

What transformation?

And while the reader is given all the details about the protagonist’s trauma, the problems of the other three characters can only be guessed at through hints and statements.

You mean like how Pushkin hacked into Talia’s private psych profile and tells everyone about it, loudly? I can't help but wonder, by the way, whether the reviewer likes that Pushkin is portrayed as an irredeemable bastard given that he's, y'know... 

But in the end, there are no explanations or answers. And that’s cool, because it happens in life.

No. Just because that’s how it is in real life that doesn’t make it okay in a novel. Novels aren’t real life, and some things you simply cannot afford to leave out. We never learn anything meaningful about Pushkin, Chen even less so, and we don’t learn enough about Talia either. Having a tragic backstory is not a substitute for a personality or motivations. If we don’t even know who the fuck these people are other than being self-righteous assholes or so bland even the narrative calls them “boring” then we don’t fucking care and the “story” has no impact.

The theme of grief and loss runs throughout the text. This is not a loud tragic loss. On the contrary, we have a quiet devastation and self-destruction afterwards.

Constantly bitching and moaning about how OMG SAD you are is not a realistic portrayal of grief and loss.

All of this shapes the character, so I wouldn’t call him a «hero» in the classical sense.

That would be because Emolix never does anything remotely heroic. Because he only cares about himself.

He doesn’t save the world. He doesn’t even know why he’s there. But this is the truth.

You don’t have to save the world to be a hero, you know.

Alex Crichton is very «earthy» and that’s why he’s extremely realistic.

The only realistic thing about Emolix is that he’s a very realistic, believable depiction of a self-pitying, narcissistic piece of shit who is also incredibly shallow.

The philosophical part of the novel is constantly evident in the details. In the reflections on the signal and the hole made by the aliens, on recurrence and extraterrestrial life, on the development of civilization, on faith and God. And here, Christopher Paolini does not give ready-made answers, but invites us to a conversation. There is no ideological pressure in the novel, no ready-made conclusions or answers. But there is room for reflection, which sometimes means much more.

A CONVERSATION? Are you fucking kidding me? Both sides of the religion vs atheism “debate” are made to look as ugly and unappealing as possible, so much so that Emolix actively avoids taking part because he doesn’t find either of them attractive! And it’s not a debate either, because neither party is prepared to actually listen or do any re-thinking of their existing beliefs and assumptions. What it actually is is a flamewar in a comments section on LiveJournal circa 2004, being passed off as an actual interaction two adult professionals would have in a situation where not working together as well as possible is a fucking death sentence. Nor does Emolix ever rethink any of his own beliefs… because we don’t know what those even are. The guy is a blank slate with “waaah Layla” written on it 5,000, 000 times in crayon.

On top of that, both atheism and faith are horribly misrepresented and neither one is written in an informed or respectful fashion, and I want to emphasise the lack of respect. Pushkin is made to look like a huge piece of shit who only cares about indulging in selfish hedonism, while Talia is a humourless martinet obsessed with divine wrath. Neither side is shown to offer any of the things people get out of their worldviews in real life. Comfort. A sense that life has meaning. And perhaps most importantly of all: hope.

This book, like everything else Paolini has published, is devoid of hope. None of his protagonists ever truly believe in a better tomorrow for anyone, themselves included. Instead it’s the old story of relentless doom and gloom being passed off as “deep” and whining being passed off as “drama”. Even the worthless ending when Emolix decides to not kill himself and turn back doesn’t read as hopeful so much as “eh, I’ll go back and put up with how ANNOYING everyone and everything is”. It certainly doesn’t read as “I’m finally at peace with what happened to my wife”, because that’s not what happens.

At the same time, «Fractal Noise» a scary novel. Not because of classic fear, but because of uncertainty. Because of the feeling that the hole in the planet is not the answer to all questions, that at the end of the journey only new ones will appear, but there is no way to stop.

Again, there is every opportunity to stop. Indeed there are more reasons to quit and turn back than there are to keep slogging toward this entirely pointless “goal”. And no, it’s not scary, because Paolini cannot write horror or suspense or even believable fear.

And there is no big conclusion or clarity. Instead, there is honesty because the world is not always clear, and our missions are not always about saving. And this is the best and most important thing, in my opinion, that the author was able to convey to the reader.

So he just admitted that there’s no conclusion. The book doesn’t end; it just stops. And just what was this “mission” about if it wasn’t about saving [ERROR: NOUN NOT FOUND]?

Despite all this philosophical depth described above,

LOL

Paolini does not sacrifice accessibility. The text is light and readable, the style is clear and makes the novel read quickly. All available science fiction concepts are presented simply and without excessive technicality.

True, unlike its predecessor it’s not loaded down with insufferable technobabble.

And if anything, there is a glossary, a reference book, and a description of the history of the universe at the end. And this is very important, especially in a novel with a slow pace and a dense emotional atmosphere. The ease of presentation here does not contradict the complexity of the content.

How the fuck is this thing “complex”?

On the contrary, it supports it and makes the book a de facto bestseller because it is read with enthusiasm. I also want to tell others about it. And that’s what I’m doing.

Believe me, I wish you hadn’t, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a bestseller. At least I really hope it wasn’t.

The story of first contact is not about aliens, but about contact with oneself. It’s about facing your own human pain. With your tragic past. With your meaningless «now». This, in my opinion, is the power of the novel «Fractal Noise».

Oh good god just stop.

Christopher Paolini has written science fiction that does not lose its fantastic scale, but remains painfully intimate. His universe is big. But this particular story is small and intimate. And because of this, it sounds strong, almost deafening.

No, his universe is not “big”. It’s tiny passing itself off as big. Poorly.

I liked the publication itself. It has adequate quality and an eye-catching cover. However, as always, I am not satisfied because I think there is not enough fantastic and genre-specific stuff in it. But it is what it is. The main thing is that the translation is good, I didn’t find any gaffes or typos, I liked the paper, the font and its size. There are no bibliographies, but illustrations are available.

At least this translation doesn’t have the godawful (and also misleading) AI generated cover.

Conclusion: «Fractal Noise» by Christopher Paolini is not ordinary science fiction. It is a story about a man who wades through the pain, fatigue, and shadows of his past to find some sense of meaning in life.

Spoilers, he doesn’t find any meaning.

This is a mature, philosophical novel set on an isolated planet, but touching on very familiar, earthly things. The author unexpectedly changes his role and creates a novel that has no magic, but has a terrible and beautiful truth about us. This is not a book to be read in one go, although it is very easy to do so. It is a work that is lived step by step.

I’m just gonna be mean and rewrite this latest set of ridiculous claims. This is a deeply immature, childish novel that thinks it’s philosophical, set on an utterly boring planet, but touching on very familiar, highly irritating things we’ve seen in every other Paolini novel. The author unexpectedly changes his role and creates a novel that has no magic, but has a terrible tedious, ugly truth about the arrogant, clueless idiot who wrote it. This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

And with that, I’m out. Satan’s arse, what is wrong with these people?

Comments

[mara_dienne459]

It really sounds like this reviewer is like all the people who thought Eragon and Roran are The Best Heroes Evaaaaahhhh!!! and read a story that they created in their own head rather than what was actually on the page. That, or, as my inner conspiracy theorist said, it was Paolini himself who wrote this trying to explain how awesome his book was and how people just didn't understaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it, trying to pass it off as someone from another country who's first language is not English writing an "honest review". Not likely, I know, but still.

[epistler]

It just blows my mind that anybody could headcanon THAT hard. I mean good fucking grief

[torylltales]

Thank you for doing this one, I really wasn't feeling able to stomach such a large amount of ass-kissery.

"presentation of complex ideas without loss of depth"

it's easy to not lose depth when there is none to lose

[epistler]

Just as it's easy to be outnumbered when you're a zero.

[torylltales]

The really weird thing, to me, is that the host website is a Ukrainian tech blog.

ITC.ua is a prominent Ukrainian information resource specializing in IT for both users and enthusiasts.

Our focus spans across various domains, encompassing computer and digital technologies tailored for business and personal applications. This includes an array of devices such as smartphones, tablets, laptops, computer components, and peripherals. Additionally, we delve into software, services, technologies, as well as diverse topics like movies, games, automobiles, and transportation.

At ITC.ua, our dedicated team comprises seasoned IT journalists and editors who are passionate about their work. We consistently provide our audience with current international and Ukrainian news, comprehensive reviews of devices and software, informative video reviews of cutting-edge hardware innovations, and engaging editorials and expert blogs.

Why are they reviewing an American sci fi novel?

[epistler]

Why are they reviewing an American sci fi novel?

Because no mainstream book review publication had anyone on staff who actually wanted to review the fucking thing?

[pangolin20]

Alright, let's get to this! I am interested to see what others are actually seeing in this, after all.

(such as the Japanese translation changing Roran’s ridiculous dialogue in book three about cannibalism to just “you didn’t tell me they were cannibals! I’m going to vomit!” which is so much better it’s not even funny).

Let me have a look what my Dutch edition says for that scene... Oh, it's quite faithful to the original, I see, except for "gore-bellied", which becomes "fat". So I'd indeed keep it at most translations.

Paolini's writing level has become significantly better and more mature

I didn't think so, either. Yes, the writing's more polished than his early books, but trying to tackle big themes without understanding them actually keeps it from being very mature. I'd even argue that Inheritance is more mature than this book, as is To Sleep in a Sea of Stars.

accessibility of presentation of complex ideas without loss of depth;

Presentation of complex ideas I'll give him, but there's very little depth presented in this book.

unusual presentation of the theme of grief and first contact;

I certainly agree that it's "unusual"; I just don't think the deviation from the usual (like barely featuring this "first contact") are exactly worth it.

Like me. I’m a someone. I’m not sure what “active dynamics” is supposed to mean, but I’m going easy on this reviewer with that sort of thing since he either wrote this in what was not his first language, or he wrote it in Ukrainian and someone translated it.

I think it's the former, given the guillemets (and yesterday I learned that these are used in Ukrainian for quotation marks!), since someone translating would probably have noticed what English uses for them. I also don't fault the use of English, though that's mostly because Ukraine doesn't seem to have as good an English proficiency as, for example, the Netherlands. If I wrote something like this, you'd have every right to complain.

For what he's saying, I think he refers to the lack of interaction between Alex and the others (or the general lack of interaction between the characters other than being antagonistic to each other), and I do find it quite a minus, too.

«Fractal Noise» is not about a battle for colonies, interstellar wars, or a new civilization to be discovered or destroyed.

I can't help but wonder if TSIASOS would disappoint him, then...

But we have to walk. We put one foot in front of the other, and again. And again.

That's not what we see in Fractal Noise, though. There, going to the hole directly makes the situation worse for everyone; Alex does manage to pull through, but that's partly down to luck and doesn't seem to be directly related to the hole. If I were to call the trek something, I'd rather call it "purification by fire", which is something quite different.

This is not just a hole in the ground. This is a real challenge. An alien mystery that beckons, a threat that humanity cannot ignore.

Yeah, they never really assume that there's a "threat"; at most, they're cautious because there might be aliens around. The hole's only dangerous for people who are trying to reach it, like our expedition does.

the more obvious it becomes: the mystery they face is not external. It is within them. And the answer may be more frightening than the question.

Sure, they weren't in the best state before leaving on the expedition, but it's quite clear to me that they only fell apart because they were on a senseless suicide mission to the hole. Like, that's what the tensions mostly came from in the first place.

Yes, he's quite right that Fractal Noise is a slog to get through; that's not necessarily to a book's credit, though, and you have to consider if you're up to that.

Hmmm, I could see such a repetitive story done right (as a timeloop story might, for example), but then there needs to be a bit less focus on the framework of the repetition.

And while the reader is given all the details about the protagonist’s trauma, the problems of the other three characters can only be guessed at through hints and statements.

That is a bit of a problem when those problems are important for the story, I'd say.

But in the end, there are no explanations or answers. And that’s cool, because it happens in life.

In life, though, you can always search for these explanations and answers, which is not easy to do in such a book, so some of them do have to be included if you want to be sure the reader gets some closure.

The theme of grief and loss runs throughout the text. This is not a loud tragic loss.

I don't know what else to call Alex constantly talking about him missing Layla, so I do think it is.

There is no ideological pressure in the novel, no ready-made conclusions or answers.

Because there's not much ideology in the novel at all, I'd say.

What it actually is is a flamewar in a comments section on LiveJournal circa 2004,

Would your favourite discussion look like a well-thought-out discussion on Dreamwidth in 2025, then? :>

Because of the feeling that the hole in the planet is not the answer to all questions, that at the end of the journey only new ones will appear, but there is no way to stop.

That's only an issue if you presume that the hole will do that, though; Alex does think that, but I think a lot of the readers wouldn't, and so the fear, if it'd be there at all, would be about how Alex deals with that revelation.

Yes, it's lightly written, I'll give Paolini that.

Yeah, your summary's a lot better. Even aside from all the negative elements, the reviewer quite missed the point of the book, and I'm reasonably sure he's read stuff into it that isn't there. Well covered!

[epistler]

So I'd indeed keep it at most translations.

In one translation, Saphira apparently told Eragon to "rest in peace". XD

There is no ideological pressure in the novel, no ready-made conclusions or answers.

Because there's not much ideology in the novel at all, I'd say.

My bet would be that it's because Paolini himself is not prepared to stick to any specific ideology and instead is waffling, hedging his bets, or unwilling to publicly commit. He definitely seems to think he's too smart to "fall for" evangelism of any kind.

[pangolin20]

Awwww, no love for my comment? :p (Then again, I really don't mind having to answer less comments, so I can't complain.)

In one translation, Saphira apparently told Eragon to "rest in peace". XD

Do you have any idea which translation that was, or which scene?

Eh, I do find the end result a lot better than him insisting on a single ideology, like in Eldest.

[epistler]

Awwww, no love for my comment? :p (Then again, I really don't mind having to answer less comments, so I can't complain.)

For what it's worth I'm disappointed that the latest spork has only been commented on by you after all the hard work we put into it!

Do you have any idea which translation that was, or which scene?

It was a long time ago, but I think it was the Icelandic translation? Or somewhere in that part of the world. And I believe it was somewhere in book one, where she was supposed to be saying something like "rest easy" or "be calm" or whatever, but due to the word choice it sounded like she was telling him to go die! 🤣 (If only).

Eh, I do find the end result a lot better than him insisting on a single ideology, like in Eldest.

He's gone from one obnoxious end of the scale to the other - didactic preachiness fixated on a single world-view, to refusing to even lay out a coherent viewpoint. Though admittedly the first is FAR more annoying because it came packaged with treating the reader with painful levels of condescending arrogance.

[pangolin20]

For what it's worth I'm disappointed that the latest spork has only been commented on by you after all the hard work we put into it!

"Give it time" is the only thing I can really say to that, unfortunately. That aside, I did quite appreciate your work! I really liked that you bothered to be so detailed.

It was a long time ago, but I think it was the Icelandic translation? Or somewhere in that part of the world. And I believe it was somewhere in book one, where she was supposed to be saying something like "rest easy" or "be calm" or whatever, but due to the word choice it sounded like she was telling him to go die! 🤣 (If only).

Oh, I've found it! The claim is in the comment marked [1C1B2A1A1A1A1]; it was rather "Keep resting in calmness", but the person saying it paraphrased it. They said it was in Inheritance, without specifying where, but it can really only be Saphira wishing Eragon rest after he's healed Hope (Horst and Elain's child).

Yeah, with the latter it at least gives an explicit starting point for debate.

[epistler]

"Give it time" is the only thing I can really say to that, unfortunately. That aside, I did quite appreciate your work! I really liked that you bothered to be so detailed.

It's also very long (about 19 pages in the google doc we used). And Anya is partly to thank for all the detail - I wasn't sure if she'd be available, so if she hadn't returned when she did it could have been posted as the first pass version it was at the time. Since I went back over it many times, responding to her comments, I found more to say!

Oh, I've found it!

Well done! I'm impressed!

[pangolin20]

It turns out to be about 8750 words, which is indeed quite long! It's also good to see Anya back again; I've really been missing her these past years.

Well done! I'm impressed!

And I'm happy I actually managed to locate it!

[epistler]

I've really been missing her these past years.

Join the club!

And I'm happy I actually managed to locate it!

How did you do it?

[pangolin20]

I used a search program and searched for "Icelandic" along with "rest in peace" in my saved version of AsSporkive and luckily both phrases were used like that, so I found it quite quickly!

[epistler]

That's very clever! You'd make an excellent librarian or records manager. ^_^

[pangolin20]

Why, thank you!