Rewriting Carvahall’s subplot

[oblakom]

So, one of the most difficult things to figure out is how to keep the subplot mostly the same without having the Empire soldiers and the Ra’zac magically become idiots just because the plot requires Roran not to die yet. This is how I will most likely rewrite it, waiting for the blessed moment that my story can finally break free from Paolini’s plot:

I will introduce not only Carvahall’s point of view, but the Empire’s as well. This subplot is the first time we meet the Ra’zac after their embarrassing defeat at Murtagh’s hand when they killed Brom, and I would say that it is also a great occasion to develop the first known antagonists of the Cycle a bit more. After their first disastrous mission in Carvahall, the Ra’zac here return not as leaders of the Empire’s soldiers, but as soldiers themselves, under the command of a human who knows how to approach humans.

I cannot, for the love of me, fanthom why Roran should have spend five or six months after Garrow’s death without even trying to rebuilt his farm and then, when everything is rotten, only then think about rebuilding it. I will just say that in this version Roran lives with Horst because rebuilding his farm alone is simply too much work and he would not be able to do so and sustain himself at the same time, so for now he lives with Horst where he will also spend the winter, waiting for the spring to come so he will be able to leave and take back his job at the mill. At the end of the previous winter, beginning of the spring, Roran returned to Carvahall. He spent the next months there, waiting the necessary time for Garrow’s spirit to completely leave the world of the livings, according to Carvahall’s tradition, and apologizing to his grave for not having been there for the burial. At the end of summer / beginning of autumn, he had had no reason to return to Therinsford, because there is little job in this period. So, he is waiting for the spring. Now, in canon it is said that we are already in spring, if I am not wrong. But Garrow died five moths prior and in was the end of the winter, so now we should be in autumn, which is when my story takes place.

Roran wishes to ask for Katrina’s hand in marriage, but he knows that there is no way that Sloan would let his daughter marry a man without property, who has a job in distant city and lives there in a room with other humble workers. His best hope is to get better at his job, get a better position and make enough money and buy a property in Therinsford, to be able to show Sloan that he can provide a good life for Katrina. He already knows that it will not be easy. Sloan never liked nor him nor Eragon even before Eragon brough to Carvahall the strange stone that costed them troubles, even before Eragon left Carvahall without even burying Garrow – a shameful act, probably the worst disrespect toward the deads – staining the honor of their family. Of course, given that he had been far away and the circumstances, none of the villagers, not even Sloan, had openly held it against him, but Roran knows that Sloan will judge him with this in mind as well. The chip doesn’t fall far, after all. Family and blood matters.

Roran tries not to think to much about it, for his own good and for the sake of all the happy memories he shares with his cousin. Eragon surely had his reasons, he repeats himself. He surely meant no harm. He keeps telling himself so, but there are still less kinder days in which he blames Eragon for everything – for the strangers and for Garrow and for the farm and for his situation with Katrina. Those days he walks restlessly to clear his mind and always ends up at the ruins of the farm. He is a worker. He had always kept his hands occupied in his life, and now that he has more work to do than ever before, now that his and Katrina’s life is at stake, he wants nothing but to rush to Therinsford and start building his new future. He needs to occupy his hands with something. He feels like he is going crazy. How long until spring?

The travelers bring worrisome notices to Carvahall. There are voices of a war approaching. The taxes have already grown heavier on them. Somewhere in the south-east the Empire clashed with the Varden. Someone says that the King will soon start forced military conscription. They say that it will start in the larger cities, but it will arrive in Carvahall as well. It will come to rip husbands and sons from their families. Roran hopes he will have time to become a husband before the King will rip him from Katrina’s arms and toss him in the army. Roran hates Galbatorix for this. It is simply unfair, what the bloody King does. The King should not toss his own men to die on a battlefield. The King should not move war.

Roran is pressed by too many things he doesn’t want to think about, but in Carvahall, without a farm and a job, there is not much left to do as he waits for the spring. He only wishes that things would move soon.

…And then the general of the Empire arrives, and the two clothed strangers with him.

As I said, I’d add the Empire’s POV as well.

From their side of the story we learn that Skeoktiya (the female, smaller and more aggressive Ra’zac) and Wyneiyar (the male, larger and calmer Ra’zac) have been chastened by Galbatorix for their previous asinine conduct that costed them Saphira’s egg. Grown up in an environment that allowed them to do as they pleased and treated them like gods, and raised by a parent (Iyamneein, the male Lethrblaka) who preached the absolute superiority of their race and taught them to mistreat and abuse humans, the two Ra’zac lack now the ability to properly interact with the human race. Their aggressive, threatening conduct is more likely to alienate an eventual ally rather than to gain them informations, and their ignorance of the humans as whole prevents them from making a success of the missions Galbatorix wants to assign them.

For this, the female Lethrblaka Kyantassera had ordered them to keep their heads down, obey, learn from the human who was chosen by Galbatorix himself for this mission and, unsaid but most important motivation, unlearn Iyamneein’s wicked teachings. (“Creatures who are allowed to grow up believing themselves to be gods are never the most balanced ones” – a small swipe at Saphira’s character as well, as I am talking about creatures with their head up their ass). A punishment that both the Ra’zac consider to be not only unfair but also beyond humiliating – they are basically ordered to consider themselves the same as creatures they had always only known as servants at best and as food at worst! This makes them both capricious, snappy and unsatisfied in the beginning, a situation extremized by the prohibition to kill the soldiers.

Their consideration for the human beings around them can be resumed by how these humans are named in their POV: the human commander they obey to is “the human” (and is actually the only one they respect and who can sustain a real conversation with them at the beginning), every other human is referred to as “a human”, as if the other humans do not deserve a name or individuality. A characteristic that will slowly disappear as they slowly start to understand that behaving like entitled little shits will bring them nothing and that being on the same level with the humans is not shameful, because being a human is not shameful. Also, it could be a nice parallel with Eragon who has to “make an effort” to learn the names of the dwarves.

Ok, let’s not digress.

The Empire, here led by a human and not by two capricious and cruel monsters, tries a gentler approach. The commander of the Empire offers the villagers protection in exchange of informations, even explaining that every single thing they can tell is a thing useful for the protection of the Empire, and could help them avoid an open war. He also asks them to peacefully hand them Roran (because Galbatorix secretly plans on using him as a hostage to stop Eragon from fighting and so to stop the war from escalating). He gives them three days to think, then he will return to hear their answer. The Ra’zac are unsatisfied with this, claiming that humans will never do as they are said without a proof of power from their side, while the general explains them that usually humans both fear and trust the authorities of the Empire, and when they rebel to them is only because the authority made them feel like they have nothing to lose. So, let’s offer them a chance and see if they are reasonable.

But Brom had 15 years to subtly spread “elven propaganda” in Carvahall, and the villagers refuse the reasonable offers of the nameless general, fearing a trick of Galbatorix and believing that they will all be slaughtered once the Empire had obtained the information it wants. A belief supported by the previous actions of the Ra’zac, who threatened many and actually killed a person in the village. So, the village resists them, and Roran hides.

While in the village there are talks of fighting the soldiers or running, in the Empire’s camp there are two annoyed Ra’zac being lectured about the consequences of their mindless behavior that is now biting them back.

The three days pass with a bit of boredom. Both parts seem to already know what the answer will be. The soldiers of the Empire have little to do, they mostly lazily interrogate the villagers or get wasted at the pub or fearfully try to engage the Ra’zac in their conversations. The Ra’zac pay a visit to Katrina, who lies to their face and tries to kick them out – only the orders of not harming the population that the Ra’zac received save her life. Skeoktiya and Wyneiyar start talking as they leave Sloan’s shop and we learn that Wyneiyar has a female servant named Aldith living with him at the Helgrind who is more or less of Katrina’s age, and who Wyneiyar seems to value at least a bit (“…And you suggest me to take a human like that?” – “My human is nothing like that worthless female!”), and reveals that he is responsible for her protection, wellbeing and to grant her a place where to live, while she is responsible of serving him and doing whatever he wishes as it is due in a relationship between a Ra’zac and a human (A soldier only half-jokingly asks Wyneiyar: “So… You have a human concubine?”, which leaves the Ra’zac very confused because Ra’zac don’t mate and surely would not mate with a human… Like, would a human mate with a dog or a horse? What? What does it mean “Oh, birdie, you could hear stories if you came with us to the pubs”?!).

In the meanwhile, Roran thinks about what he is supposed to do. The emissaries of the King are evil and corrupted, as is the King. They already came once and killed – now they are back. He hears that they personally talked to Katrina. Coincidence? Or they know? He tries not to think about what else he heard – that apparently one of them has personal “human concubine” (oh, gods, what is under those mantles of theirs if someone felt the need to specify the race?) he uses for his pleasure and he compared Katrina to her after seeing her! The thought almost makes him throw up. He knows that even if he surrenders to the Empire Katrina will not be safe. Probably no one will be safe – Garrow had nothing to do with them and they killed him anyway.

Three days later, as it was promised, the nameless general returns asking for the informations they need, and for Roran. But the villagers, guided by a big speech Roran gives on the spot that dwells into their fear of the strangers decide to attack the soldiers and try to kick them out of Carvahall.

The bloodshed starts. At first the Empire tries to keep his line and stay in a defensive position and calm down the situation. But fighting defensively only is the same as throwing the fight. Despite the valiant efforts of Wyneiyar to protect the general without killing the villagers as he was ordered, someone manages to land a hit (they toss a heavy piece of metal) on the general, who doesn’t get damaged much for everyone’s surprise. This enrages the two Ra'zac beyond measure. Wyneiyar throws his mantle away to reveal his face and scares the villagers with a fearsome screech as Skeoktiya jumps forward and grabs a man whom she believes had landed that hit. Following the example of the Ra’zac, the soldiers move from defense to offense, and quickly overpower the villagers. The man Skeoktiya caught is put in chains. The villagers are forced to retire and the Empire wins effortlessly the split moment it actually tries.

None of the soldiers of the Empire dies, but many citizens do. The general of the Empire waits two days before returning, to let the villagers understand how overpowered they actually are as they fight to keep their injured dear ones alive.

The villagers start falling in despair. Roran tries to convince everybody that running away and trying to lose the Imperials in the Spine is the safest option now – there are wolves and bears there, but in Carvahall there are real monsters. He doesn’t think that he will ever be able to erase from his mind the thing he saw when the mantle of that nightmare was thrown away. They are all going to die if they stay. But many do not want to leave. Some blame Roran for what is happening and believe that they should hand him to the monster and hope in an unlikely mercy, some others believe that there is no point in running because the monsters will easily catch them in the Spine.

Sloan doesn’t want Katrina to leave. He claims that the monsters want only Roran and that, if he really is a man, he will give himself to them to save everyone else. Also, he is among those that are sure that the Imperials will easily catch them in the Spine.

Then the general returns with the Ra'zac and the chained man, Quimby. This time, as soon as the people are about to open their mouths, Skeoktiya screeches furiously and they shut down in fear, but the general stays silent. It is Wyneiyar who gives a speech about how they dared to attack an emissary of His Majesty King Galbatorix who was under his protection, and quickly explains who he is and the laws of the Cathedral of Dras-Leona. If they choose not to obey the law of the King, they should at least respect the law of the gods. They should take Quimby's life as he is a criminal against the Empire, but he offers the villagers the same mercy he offers to the citizens of Dras-Leona: the possibility to atone for their crimes without losing one of theirs, which is giving them Roran without a fight. They are, after all, merciful gods to their servants. An atonement will grant them forgiveness, and even a place in their city at their service, if they will choose to not stay here among traitors of the Empire and face they very same destiny.

The villagers refuse, and Skeoktiya kills Quimby in front of the whole Carvahall. The next day they toss his bones in the main road for everyone to see. The general repeats his offer once more, adding that they will not be so lenient should another assault on them occur. They have one more day to made their minds. This is Carvahall’s very last chance.

That afternoon there is the fight between Roran and Sloan, and Katrina choses Roran over her father. Sloan, seeing that the village is preparing what will probably be its last stand, and encouraged by the voices about the Ra’zac having another girl under their protection and by their proposal of that day, turns to the Ra'zac, begging them to have mercy of his daughter, and explaining to them the situation between her, him and Roran. Skeoktiya doesn't really care and actually wants to kill the man, but Wyneiyar has a much tamer attitude and has spent a lot of time with the humans by now, and decides to talk about it with the general. The man bluntly tells him that only an idiot would organize a mission and risk his men to save a “sluttern” who has already picked her destiny and made a shame of herself, so Wyneiyar better not count on him, but he also reminds Wyneiyar that he is no man, he is a Ra’zac, and so for him or Skeoktiya would not be nor that hard nor too dangerous to sneak in Carvahall, grab that Katrina and drag her to the camp, if they really want to pain themselves with her. Wanting to stick to Kyantassera’s suggestion to help the humans who ask for their help, Wyneiyar accepts to kidnap/save Katrina. The butcher, after all, is the only reasonable villager and is only trying to stop his daughter from becoming an outlaw.

He kidnaps her like in the book, only this time he goes alone, without Skeoktiya or the soldiers, and is forced to let Roran go despite having him at his mercy - because he cannot fight all the villagers and at the same time keep Katrina unharmed and in his hands. For the laws of the Lethrblaka race, the promise made to Sloan prevails over the lucky occasion and Wyneiyar is forced to fled with Katrina to keep the annoying woman safe. He still manages to bite Roran’s right shoulder to debilitate him. Seeing how stubborn this human is, Wyneiyar tells himself, he will still be there for the next day and he will be able to get his talons on him.

The next day there is the final clash between the Empire and Carvahall, and the village gets badly defeated again, and this time much more violently. As soon as he sees that there are ready to fight him again, the general has unleashes the Ra’zac and in a short amount of time it becomes a massacre more than a fight. The soldiers let run away does who wish to run or surrender, they do not touch women or children. Still, after a short while there are many corpses of the villagers of Carvahall on the ground.

Then, unexpectedly, the Lethrblaka Kyantassera descents from the sky surprising both factions and ruthlessly destroys Horst's house and forge, and targets every other building that may be used to aid the village's resistance, as what remains of the men of Carvahall runs for dear life at the sight of the monstrous creature and the soldiers of the Empire are themselves paralyzed by fear.

But Kyantassera has not come to join the fight, but to inform the general and the Ra'zac of a new, more urgent mission. The night after this fight Iyamneein reaches them. Kyantassera asks Iyamneein bring the Ra'zac, Sloan and Katrina to the Cathedral of Dras-Leona. Katrina tries to fight back, only to get backhanded strongly enough to get tossed on the ground by the general the split moment she dares a glare in his direction.

Here we finally discover the name of the general of the Empire. Like, blink and you’ll miss it, but Kyantassera says this: “And you, Lord Barst, friend of my friend, you will come to Uru'baen with me. Galbatorix requires us both at his side” right after she asks Iyamneein to fly the others to Dras-Leona.

And so, the big guns of the Empire leave. Some of the villagers of Carvahall escape like in the book, and the soldiers “conquer” the city.

…Ok, I know that I suck at keeping the suspense and probably nobody cared anyway. I know, ok? xD

*

So. This is my rewrite of the “fall of Carvahall”. I didn’t change much, because this is where I am still trying to stay a bit loyal to the books. There are still some changes to try and give a sense to the whole thing, as why the soldiers go so easy on the villagers (they are trying to teach respect for life and diplomacy to the Ra’zac), why Sloan decided that it would be a good idea to entrust his daughter to the Ra’zac and why the Ra’zac injures but does not captures Roran.

To explain Lord Barst’s behavior: I imagine him being more of a politician than a good guy. He knows how to be gentle when he needs something in return and he knows how to treat the population to make them love you, but he is a harsh man who has no problems reminding people who openly attck or direspect him of who is in charge, even if it means hitting a woman. So do not get surprised if he offers many chances to Carvahall and then violently slaps a girls the split moment she looks funny at him.

Comments

[epistler]

See, this is much better. Well done!

[oblakom]

You think so? Thanks :D

(Was Lord Barst ever described in the books? I tried to have a look but I cannot find a thing about his physical aspect. Only that he was muscular and broad shouldered - like every human male who needs to be seen as strong in this bloody cycle)

[epistler]

As I recall he was pretty much just described as a big dude wearing a weird custom breastplate... I'll look it up.

At their head rode a squat, broad-shouldered man upon a gray charger. He wore a gleaming breastplate that bulged over a foot outward, as if to accommodate a large belly. In his left hand, he carried a shield painted with the device of a crumbling tower upon a bare stone peak. In his right hand, he carried a spiked mace that most men would have found difficult to lift but that he swung back and forth with ease.

That's pretty much it.

[oblakom]

Yeah, nonsensical descriptions as always... Thank you, by the way :)

How do you manage to find these things so quickly? I have a pdf but I know how to do it only with CntrlF and there if you don't remember a piece of the sentence you are looking for you are pretty much screwed xD

[epistler]

I have pdf copies too (it's so much easier for sporking), and a good memory. I remembered the description included the words "large belly", so I did a search for that and voila. You're welcome. :)

[oblakom]

Ah, here's the trick xD

No, I only remembered a part in which Roran thought that there must be an Eldunarí in his armor (how the fuck did he even know about those?) because Galbatorix would have never put in a position of power a fat man ("a man with imperfections in his body" or something similar). Good grief, not even the villains are allowed to be ugly is they have to be badass

[epistler]

Roran thought that there must be an Eldunarí in his armor (how the fuck did he even know about those?

I wondered about that too, because it's never explained. He just randomly knows.

Good grief, not even the villains are allowed to be ugly is they have to be badass

And fat people are weak and pathetic without exception, naturally. Because there's no way anybody could ever have a gut and also plenty of muscle; that's just silly!

[oblakom]

He just randomly knows.

...Must be because he is a Gary Stu and Eragon's cousin. Apparently Eragon is a secretive shit who trusts no one with the most basic things but his psychopath of a cousin can now incredibly important secrets just because he exists. Sounds logic. Why were the Eldunarya fine with revealing their existence to a random... Oh, wait. I forgot that they are not actual sentient characters but Eragon's magical trinkets. My bad.

there's no way anybody could ever have a gut and also plenty of muscle; that's just silly!

Fun fact:this is exactly how I would portray a strong man. Ironically, the real strongmen, men who build up in raw strength, always look a bit "chubby" because they need a lot of meat on their bones to move the unholy weights they train with, otherwise they will break in two! The classical lean but six packed hot men that people see as an example of "muscular men" are weak as fuck compared to these strongmen. I wonder if Paolini knows it... Probably not.

[epistler]

...Must be because he is a Gary Stu and Eragon's cousin. Apparently Eragon is a secretive shit who trusts no one with the most basic things but his psychopath of a cousin can now incredibly important secrets just because he exists.

Plus this is a bad RPG, so everyone automatically knows everything the protagonist knows as long as it's convenient for the plot.

Oh, wait. I forgot that they are not actual sentient characters but Eragon's magical trinkets. My bad.

Yeah, it's really disgusting how he talks about them like he owns them and automatically assumes they'll be okay with acting as his personal power-up tokens for the rest of eternity. A more empathetic character would probably have concerned himself with finding ways to help them instead, but nope.

The classical lean but six packed hot men that people see as an example of "muscular men" are weak as fuck compared to these strongmen.

True story - it's only possible to achieve that chiselled look with the veins popping out and whatnot by severely dehydrating yourself before going on camera. So no, guys who look like that aren't healthy and aren't necessarily strong either despite appearances. Meanwhile those rail-thin supermodels are only able to stay that way by living on starvation diets and a lot of them are probably just as unhealthy and malnourished as the morbidly obese.

I have a friend who is super skinny and conventionally attractive in that sense, and guess what? She's also really out of shape and can't do any sort of heavy exercise without wheezing. She just happens to have a really fast metabolism.

Meanwhile look at the guy who played Ser Gregor the Mountain That Rides in the Game of Thrones TV series. He doesn't have perfectly defined abs or a tiny waist, and I have it on good authority that he eats a LOT of food to maintain his terrifying physique.

[oblakom]

Yeah, it's really disgusting how he talks about them like he owns them and automatically assumes they'll be okay with acting as his personal power-up tokens for the rest of eternity.

Also, it doesn't really fits well in the context of dragons as powerful and proud creatures, does it? I'd rather have Umaroth taking the command as soon as he leaves the Vault of Souls, as he is the rightful leader of the Order. He is, after all, the dragon Vrael was bonded to. Even with Vrael dead he shouldn't have lost his rank. Even if Paolini wanted to hand Eragon the leadership of the new Order just in virtue of his Gary Stueish existence I should have still had a conversation about it. Don't know... Umaroth teaching Saphira how to be the leader of the Order. However, this would require dragons to be actual characters with actual development who are just as important as their bonded humans/elves and we cannot have that in a saga about dragons, can we? Good god, I have far less empathetic characters treating the Eldunarya infinitely better. You know why? Because they are fucking dragons who will not be treated like fucking instruments.

Meanwhile look at the guy who played Ser Gregor the Mountain That Rides in the Game of Thrones TV series. He doesn't have perfectly defined abs or a tiny waist, and I have it on good authority that he eats a LOT of food to maintain his terrifying physique.

Hafthor Bjornsson! I love the guy. He is a ridiculously huge and scary and scary dude with a ridiculously tiny dog xD Also, he is the strongest man in the world, so he is a more than fitting example. He actually posted a video or two (you can find them on YouTube) showing what he eats when he trains before a competition and... Oh, boy. I don't even know how he can fit all that in his stomach. He eats way, way more than a normal person. He even tells it to the public at the end of the video that what he eats is really a lot and he would not suggest trying it at home.

[epistler]

Also, it doesn't really fits well in the context of dragons as powerful and proud creatures, does it?

Yeaaaah. Paolini already treated them like hero accessories by having them be permanently chained to their riders for all eternity and obliged to act as flying taxis and magic batteries as an when it suits said rider. Turning them into literal power-up tokens after they're dead was pretty much the other shoe dropping. Which just made it even more gaffaw-inducing when Glaedr had that line about how dragons are "the freest of all beings".

Denial - it ain't just a river in Egypt.

He even tells it to the public at the end of the video that what he eats is really a lot and he would not suggest trying it at home.

I saw a guy on YouTube actually attempt to follow that dude's diet for a day. By the end he was looking pretty ill, which isn't surprising - twelve high protein meals a day or whatever it was is pretty insane for anyone who's not a bodybuilder the size of a brick shithouse.

[oblakom]

Yeaaaah. Paolini already treated them like hero accessories by having them be permanently chained to their riders for all eternity and obliged to act as flying taxis and magic batteries as an when it suits said rider.

Having dragons and humans/elves chained together would not be such a bad concept, IF there was a mutual gain. Humans/elves asked the help of the dragons to keep order and peace in their world, while dragons used their Riders to have access to that great magical power they have inside, but that they cannot reach by themselves. Turning the situation like this, humans and elves could have been their dragons' magical trinkets - like a sort of magical wand - that allowed them to channel their power and grow immensely more powerful. But this would still mean giving the dragons power over their bonded Riders, and we already see that Paolini cannot have Eragon answering to anyone, not even to Saphira. For how vain and arrogant she is, it could have been interesting having her demanding that Eragon polished her scales every day, or that he composed poetry to prize her beauty. But that would mean having the dragons demanding a service for the service they give to their Riders...

By the end he was looking pretty ill, which isn't surprising

Oh, dear... Why did he even attempt that? It's like running a marathon without having even runned 100m. I am surprised he didn't actually throw up, that's way too much stress on his digestive system...

[epistler]

Oh, dear... Why did he even attempt that?

One of those silly YouTube stunts, as usual! The meals were something ridiculous like breakfast, tuna steak with vegetables, second breakfast more tuna steak, lunch is grilled chicken, second lunch is more grilled chicken, and then two servings of steak in the afternoon. Completely insane.

[oblakom]

Yeah, I know... But there are stunts and stunts... "I eat only purple food for a day" or "I go raw/vegan/gluten free for a week" are stunts to pull. Not "I try to eat 10.000 calories in one day which is a diet that the fucking strongest man on earth follows to keep his fucking title". Don't people have that little voice in their head that helps them differentiate a challenge from a bullshit?

[epistler]

Don't people have that little voice in their head that helps them differentiate a challenge from a bullshit?

Not that long ago people were eating laundry detergent to get attention. So... no.

[chuckling_ghost]

This. This right here is how it needed to be done.

This gets an A+!

It has a surprise first appearance by Barst who goes onto become a boss opponent, it features believable interaction and reaction, it has no cardboard people...A+!

[oblakom]

Yeah, the interaction/reaction of the whole Cycle is pretty poorly executed. Characters behave in a certain way because the author demands them to, instead of thinking whether this is the logical thing to do or not. A pity, because with a bit of introspection things could have worked much better and with the same results...

[chuckling_ghost]

(nods) I'm not much good at being social, but even I know it doesn't work like that. Emotions are a thing. Personal opinions and the personalities that shape them are a thing. People having more to them than a single simply defined role because they're just meat puppets for the PC's to interact with is. A. THING.

Speaking of, that's actually something that kinda bothered me about the ending of Kung Fu Panda 3 (have you seen that? It was actually the first one that really kinda sucked. Just the ending, that rank of wasted potential, the rest of it was pretty good though.) When they're all having the group asspull where they figure out their true nature and thus master their chi to give Po the power of friendship edge he needs to win his spirit battle, all they do is mutter their very most basic role to the plot and then activate the technique. I'm not sure if it's leaning on the fourth wall or if they actually thought that was a valid excuse for the bullshit ending that was going on.

[torylltales]

I definitely agree about the ending of Kung Fu Panda 3, that could have been handled so much better. I was expecting something more like the ending of Kung Fu Panda 2, which was at least grounded in wuxia tradition and kung fu technique

[chuckling_ghost]

Me too, although in retrospect I think it would've been perfect to have the battle at the panda village be an epic last stand and Kai actually win with Tigress holding him off so Po could flee and then have movie 4 be his quest to master chi so that he can go back, defeat Kai and free everyone.

I think quite possibly the best scenario for that would be have Po do the 'drag you to the spirit world with the Wu Xi fingerhold' thing, and then flee through the spirit world. Then right at the end of the movie, have him run into Tai Lung who's just like, 'hah! I was wondering when you'd show up.' cue the crowd going NUTS for his return.

(that wu xi fingerhold sends to spirit world thing was probably the biggest plot hole in the whole series for me since we never got to see Tai Lung. I know I saw somewhere that he was drawn in as one of Kai's defeated-warrior talismans, but since he wasn't summoned I say it doesn't count)

Then for movie 4 have Tai Lung actually wind up getting a redemption arc helping Po improve and learn to master Chi in a quest across the spirit world, maybe even teaming up with him against Kai for the final battle, which would've given Kai the supremely badass final battle he deserved, and given an opportunity to have Tai Lung either get a redemption or pull a 'surprise, I lied!' and go on to become the villain of movie 5 after disappearing for a year or two of training to then come back even tougher than Kai and bring everything back around full circle as Tai Lung finally understands the Dragon Scroll and achieves enlightenment/inner-peace, making his final words that Po really did deserve the title after all and thanking him for a battle that will surely be legendary before passing on or finally having his heel-face turn for real.

[redwyvernheart]

Introducing Barst in this manner is a wonderful idea! I still can't believe how awesome this is!

[oblakom]

Thanks :3

[torylltales]

Like others have said, this is a vast improvement. It not only makes the situation more desperate and the empire less laughably cartoonish, but introducing Barst at this stage is a great way to set him up as an enemy to be defeated later instead of just trotting him out as the final miniboss before the player reaches the final boss fight.

[oblakom]

introducing Barst at this stage is a great way to set him up as an enemy to be defeated later instead of just trotting him out as the final miniboss before the player reaches the final boss fight.

I think that this is one of Paolini's biggest shortcomings. The very same fact that he so freely admits that his characters are born out of necessity proves that he lacks an overall view over his own world. He clarely has no idea what happens in the Empire while the Varden make their plans, nor he has a clear vision of any character who is not Eragon. What is Galbatorix thinking? How is his Empire organized? Why does he believe he can stay in the castle and not move a finger? How does he plan on moving in terms of power now that his Forsworn and Durza are no more? We know nothing of this, because Paolini knows nothing on this. Because his characters disappear from the existence the split moment they go off screen.

For this reason, despite him claiming a meticulous planning, it is painfully clear that minor villains like Lord Barst or Varaug have no reason to exist rather than being a side quest for the characters. I mean... Damn. A man who has an Eldunarí atnhis service and can defeat even the elves? If Paolini had planned this character from the beginning, he should have asked himself what use Galbatorix can have for him, and why he choses not to unleash him on his enemies. And why there aren't more humans with an Eldunarí at their service. But Paolini clarely created Lord Barst out of necessity when he arrived in Uru'baen (with the plot) and so this character, like many others, exists in a vacuum and Galbatorix looks once more like an idiot for not using him.

Also, it is a very poor final fight if we are not invested in the villain. If Barst means nothing for us, because he just appeared, then even Roran's fight against him has no appeal. Unfortunately, this fight will not happen in my story, because for one I will take a completely different direction after Eldest and for two the power levels will make sense, so Barst would wipe the floor with Roran (like, please, let's be honest. Roran's victory was pure plot armor and will of the author).

[(Anonymous)]

I love it! And as I was reading I was hoping that this unnamed general would turn out to be Barst!