Paolini's Writing gets Worse with Practice

[edward9]

I read the first three chapters of To Sleep in a Sea of Stars for sporking purposes. I was struck by how much worse the writing was. In terms of objective measurements like grammar and sentence structure it is worse than the Inheritance Cycle. The Inheritance Cycle seems to have had a copy editor and I cannot imagine To Sleep in a sea of Stars was copy edited. A copy editor edits into a certain style and just the use of punctuation defies any system I am familiar with. I am no expert but I have never seen punctuation patterns like that. For semi objective things like writing style and structure I think most editors and writers would find it worse than the Inheritance Cycle. As has been pointed out by others nothing of significance happens in the first three chapters other than introducing the main character.

What struck me the most is the degradation in an admittedly more subjective area. The story was really boring. I found it difficult and unpleasant to read too but it was really really boring. It was so boring I could not find much to spork. Everything is just too blah, empty, with nothing to it. It is hard to imagine so many words could say so very little. How do others find To Sleep in a Sea of Stars compares to the Inheritance Cycle? Am I the only one who thinks Paolini's technical writing skills have gotten noticeably to massively worse?

Comments

[epistler]

It's certainly gotten even more lifeless and soulless, which is probably half the reason why it's so paralysingly dull. The Cycle was often extremely boring, but never to this degree. I've had my copy for months and still am nowhere near finishing it. I have never given less of a shit about what happens next in a book. Even with Inheritance I was curious to see how it ended. Here, not in the slightest.
And it's gotten a lot more mean-spirited as well. I've mentioned that before, but it bears repeating. It's just so actively unpleasant.

[edward9]

It's certainly gotten even more lifeless and soulless, which is probably half the reason why it's so paralysingly dull. The Cycle was often extremely boring, but never to this degree.

I found this as well. I do not understand how his writing cold have gotten worse. Practice may not make perfect but things should stay the same if not improve slightly. even if he was phoning it in I don't see why it should be worse then Brisngr or Inheritance.

[torylltales]

Lack of practice? He had almost 9 years off between Inheritance and To Sleep, even if he did have a tiny bit of practice with Fork Witch Worm. 9 years of no short stories (at least, none he's shared or published), no novellas (again, that's he's mentioned or shared), no writing practice or workshops or even NaNoWriMo, and then he tried to jump into a story the length of 3 already large stories almost without shaking the dust off (okay, so he h=got a little practice in with Fork Witch Worm, but you can't tell me he spent more than a day on each story) is not going to produce refined results. Especially when he also doesn't care about the art writing.

[edward9]

I see your point. It surprises me he fell so far back. I think perhaps the problem was not the little bit of practice that he got with The Fork, The Witch and The Worm but rather, as you say, he clearly threw those together over the weekend (or the equivalent) and they were accepted, published and sold well on a profit for hour of work basis. I think the problem is he learned he was trying to hard with the Inheritance Cycle (I seriously cannot believe I just wrote that) and realized just how low the bar was set for him. Now, if you will excuse me this makes me realize there is half a liter of vodka upstairs in the freezer...

[ultimate_cheetah]

I think he just has gotten more and more bored with this book, and has gotten more and more lazy. He hasn't learned how to take criticism, and at this rate, he never will. He's used the "adult" label to squeeze things in that he shouldn't have, like the juvenile cursing, and all the terribly written sex scenes. Aaand the whole thing with the Soft Blade.

Now, if you will excuse me this makes me realize there is half a liter of vodka upstairs in the freezer...

Just ginger ale for me, thanks.

[edward9]

I think he just has gotten more and more bored with this book, and has gotten more and more lazy.

I do not necessarily disagree with this. What I do not fathom, if this is the case, is why he would write To Sleep in a Sea of Stars at all. Writing is unpleasant enough when you are passionate about the story (at least if you are attempting good writing). Why write it all if he has so little interest? Need of money? Why make it so long? His last book shows he has no problem writing so little it can be construed as an insult to his fans. Why not churn out something half the size and just stop writing once it is boring? Why not break it into part one and two and try for more money that way? Either approach has the potential for more profit for less work and keeps him relevant (or whatever it should be called as an author). He can still go on interviews and brag about how great he is. In fact, the same work would result in twice as many interviews if it were broken up a sequel.

[epistler]

Writing is unpleasant enough when you are passionate about the story (at least if you are attempting good writing). Why write it all if he has so little interest?

The more cynical explanation I can come up with is that he just likes the fame and the money, and that's the only reason why he's still writing. The other, less cynical theory I have is that he actually does care, but doesn't have the talent to get it to show on the page.

Mind you, when I was depressed and no longer able to enjoy writing, the fact that my heart really wasn't in it absolutely showed. It resulted in lifeless prose, the rushed pacing you get when the author just wants to get it over with, careless mistakes and a general lack of effort across the board. I just didn't care enough to try harder. Of course, the important difference here is that nobody wanted to publish the results. Because I actually have to produce quality to get anywhere, unlike some people I could mention.

[anontu]

His social media highly suggests it's the latter. He talks about the books he wrote in his head rather than what's on the page.

Wow Epistler, I can relate to you about struggling with writing so much now. I like my stories. However I'm really having trouble with them.

[epistler]

His social media highly suggests it's the latter. He talks about the books he wrote in his head rather than what's on the page.

I had a feeling. It's a lot easier to write someone off as just cynical and greedy when they're rich and also mediocre, but my philosophy is never to put down to malice what you can put down to incompetence, because the latter is way, way more common, most likely because of the simple fact that it takes less effort.

Wow Epistler, I can relate to you about struggling with writing so much now. I like my stories. However I'm really having trouble with them.

I know what you mean, groan. People talk about how you should treat writing like a job and all that, but the fact remains that if you're not in the right headspace it becomes that much harder, or even downright impossible. You either don't have the mental energy to produce, or just plain don't care enough to even try any more.

[epistler]

I don't think we're really in any position to make judgements about his mental state. I think it's pretty clear though that he actually does believe he'd gotten better - that this is his big fanfare release, showing off how far he's come, how he's finally matured since his "practise novel", Eragon.
He just happens to be completely and embarrassingly wrong.

[epistler]

And you're completely right that material success doesn't necessarily make people happy. Generally it just seems to make them hungry for more and more of it, which is not good because with hollow prizes of that sort enough is never enough, and being deprived of it makes you miserable. It's probably a large reason why so may celebrities end up drinking or drugging themselves to death even when they seem to have everything.

[anontu]

Boredom isn't it. His social media shows a lot of passion for the space brick and his shiny new connected universe. Reading between the lines shows he doesn't care about writing more Eragon, which we all knew. It's been continuously pushed back. Book 5 was supposed to come after tsias. Now, however, he plans to write more books for his fractalverse first.

[anontu]

He may have been writing a lot of stuff we haven't seen though. That said I don't think he's mentioned anything outside of the space brick and fww.

[torylltales]

That's my thinking : if Paolini had been working on anything in the interim, he would have mentioned it, shared tidbits and ideas, any otherwise left some sort of clues that he was still writing. Does he really strike you as the type of person to spend 7 or 8 years writing short stories and other creative content and then keep it strictly secret?

[minionnumber2]

He kept his wife a secret, didn't he? I also remember seeing an attempt at a comic that seems to have disappeared from his site and a few mentions of screenplays and stuff. I don't doubt that he's at least started a few extra projects in the last ten years.

[torylltales]

That's a good point. He's very good at keeping personal details close to his chest. On the other hand, when he is actively working on something, he likes to drop hints, mention little details and character quirks, and so on. Just look at the hints he was dropping prior to forkwitch, for example. If he has something actively on the go, he likes to mention it.

[minionnumber2]

That's also a fair observation, but we don't even know if he does that with every project, or just the ones he's absolutely confident in. We have clues that he was talking to the studios well before announcing their plans for a TSiaSoS movie. I don't think he's completed any other projects, but my personal opinion is that he's probably started a few that didn't really get off the ground.

[ultimate_cheetah]

And it's gotten a lot more mean-spirited as well. I've mentioned that before, but it bears repeating. It's just so actively unpleasant.

The whole period stuff was so TMI, and creepy as hell. I mean, why did he have to go there. Every time I think "Well, even Paolini can't get any worse." I am proven wrong.

[epistler]

The handling of the Venom suit in general is just really creepy and nasty and unpleasant. By this point Paolini is basically just treating it like a cool power-up/weapon, while completely ignoring how horrible it actually comes across. He even said the book was supposed to be about bodily autonomy, and yet this thing has violated Kiragon's entire being and she doesn't even seem to notice or care beyond a brief bit of whining before she just gets over it.

And the way characters the author doesn't like are tortured and killed off is really mean-spirited and cruel, even more so than in his previous efforts. What happened to Dr Carr just came off as really unnecessarily vindictive and sadistic.

[ultimate_cheetah]

What happened to Dr Carr just came off as really unnecessarily vindictive and sadistic.

The bones sticking out of his legs were a little much. As was him being sucked out in space. And smashed against a wall. And it gets worse.

And Fizel and a bunch of others were speared like kebabs.

Didn't Chris say that he drew inspiration from real-life sources somewhere? I sometimes feel like I'm looking into the mind of a psychopath.

He even said the book was supposed to be about bodily autonomy, and yet this thing has violated Kiragon's entire being and she doesn't even seem to notice or care beyond a brief bit of whining before she just gets over it.

And then the message is later told, in one sentence. It's before the whole Staff of Blue thing, so I don't blame you if you missed it. It's when Kira is angry that she can't get drunk.

Also, the thing gives her period cramps again. That's not something to take lightly. And the doctor seems incompetent. It's either take it, or get hormone treatment. The dude doesn't even offer her a pain pill! Has women's healthcare tanked in the centuries in the future? Women do not have to experience bad pain!

With the bodily autonomy thing, just explain the "obscene embrace" think when Alan gets speared, Chris. GAAAHHH. So freeing to be joined to a dead man's body with a bunch of spikes, guys!

[epistler]

And Fizel and a bunch of others were speared like kebabs.

But Fizel totally deserved it because he was meaaaan to Kiragon.

Didn't Chris say that he drew inspiration from real-life sources somewhere? I sometimes feel like I'm looking into the mind of a psychopath.

It really is disturbing stuff, and I think half the problem is that he's using the sort of gruesome, nasty character deaths you'd normally get in a horror story, except that this book is not horror. It mostly seems to be yet another fluffy adventure story with some random graphic violence and body horror haphazardly thrown in but never really justified or followed up on.

It's when Kira is angry that she can't get drunk.

Yup, that's the brief bit of token whining I was referring to. Oh boohoo, you can't get drunk any more? How terrible, and never mind the part where this thing is INSIDE YOUR BRAIN SCREWING AROUND WITH IT. Or that it basically took your genitals away. Or that it could be mind controlling you for all you know. Arrrrgh.

[cmdrnemo]

I think I've been pretty clear about my feelings on this one. The book is crap on a remarkable scale. It's so terrible we had a debate on whether or not he was trying to create the worst book ever published.

Yes his old books sucked. But, this new one has all the checked out disinterest of his worst coupled with clear evidence of an ego only listening to praise.

This book is clearly a rough draft crapped out by a bored millionaire who missed his life's calling and is making a pathetic effort to convince himself otherwise. It belongs in a rejected stories box forgotten in an attic to gather dust in silence. Should he ever learn even the most basic aspect of his chosen profession it will be nothing more than an embarrassment.

[edward9]

I like how you phrased this

But, this new one has all the checked out disinterest of his worst coupled with clear evidence of an ego only listening to praise.

and this

Should he ever learn even the most basic aspect of his chosen profession it will be nothing more than an embarrassment

[epistler]

This book is clearly a rough draft crapped out by a bored millionaire who missed his life's calling and is making a pathetic effort to convince himself otherwise.

Ouch. Not that I can really disagree with you there.

[baronleduc]

It's been years I didn't read Eragon/Eldest, and I don't have the books at the moment. So it'll be hard for me to compare Chris's writings between Eragon and TSiaSoS. I do remember the first time I've read Eragon, it was, at best, kinda pleasant. But it wasn't painful to read through, unlike TSiaSoS.

What I can tell you, though, is that I have barely, barely, made over one hundred pages into the Space Book, and its pretty much boring. There is no tension, no characters, no plot, no emotions. Nothing. Chris wrote alot of words, but it felt empty. Kinda remind me of my old writings. Urgh...

The worse part for me, is that everything is being told, not shown in his prose. So I do not feel what the character's feels when X happens, nor what Y is going to do instead of Z. It's drives me nuts. Like Paolini has written a movie script instead of a novel. Did he forget what type of media he's doing ?

The more I tried to read TSiaSoS, the more I've questions for the editor who read through this and thinks 'Yup. This book is going to be a very bestseller. Well done, Mr. Paolini! Good job!'.

So I'm gonna say that yes, Chris Paolini's writings are getting worse.

[edward9]

I agree with all of this.

But it wasn't painful to read through, unlike TSiaSoS.

I especially agree with this and am glad to see I am not the only one who noticed it. It is physically unpleasant for me to read and I do not think I have encountered that before.

There is no tension, no characters, no plot, no emotions. Nothing. Chris wrote alot of words, but it felt empty. Kinda remind me of my old writings. Urgh...

Seconded.

The worse part for me, is that everything is being told, not shown in his prose. So I do not feel what the character's feels when X happens, nor what Y is going to do instead of Z. It's drives me nuts. Like Paolini has written a movie script instead of a novel.

Yes, I felt this way to. It is like a report. This happened then this happened. Of curse, in a movie, we would be being shown by the actors.

The more I tried to read TSiaSoS, the more I've questions for the editor who read through this and thinks 'Yup. This book is going to be a very bestseller. Well done, Mr. Paolini! Good job!'.

I figure the editor and everyone else involved figured the Paolini name will sell and if it does not they can drop him.

[epistler]

I figure the editor and everyone else involved figured the Paolini name will sell and if it does not they can drop him.

That's probably exactly what happened. Editors, publishers and agents aren't stupid - just very very cynical. Most are perfectly happy to edit and sell books they know full well are irredeemable garbage, just because they're sure it'll make everyone a lot of money. And hey, if you're going to get rich by publishing some moron's lame fanfiction, might as well hold your nose and go ahead.

[baronleduc]

It is like a report

It's the worst report I've ever read.

My final report when I detailed my experience as an archivist in my hometown that I've written before I get my diplomae years ago was a Michael Bay movie script compared to TSiaSoS. I swear.

[ultimate_cheetah]

It has gotten worse. He at least tried with Eragon/Saphira, but the bond between Kira/Soft Blade is nonexistent. We are just told about it, and it is so disappointing. Also, at least Durza and the Ra'zac were sort of interesting. The jellies and nightmares are not, at all.