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antishurtugal_reborn
We’re on Chapter 36 now, which returns to Cosmo’s point of view. Which is awesome, because I for one LOVE reading about unrepentant multiple rapists. Don’t you? He’s thinking about how he doesn’t want war; he just wants to “make a point”. So he goes into Kastaleon with just a small group, while brooding about Leagion. She’s still pissed off at him and still accusing him of lying to her, and we get the absolutely preposterous claim that Cosmo loves her for her “wit and charm and strength of character”. Which the author has never bothered to show on the page. Sorry, pal, but what you HAVE shown me is an obnoxious self-centered dullard and pretending otherwise isn’t going to change my mind.
Anyway, so blah blah blah Cosmo rides into the castle courtyard and announces that he’s here to seize the city. Thanks to the guys he already sent in wearing disguises, he causes enough confusion that he’s able to take over without much trouble. He sends the very pissed off captain of the garrison to go tell Caelum what he’s done. He’s still confident the guy won’t risk openly attacking him, but he’s not so sure about Askam the idiot. Spoilers yes of course he’s being over-confident and this is going to get ugly fast, to the surprise of absolutely no-one.
The next chapter returns to Drago, who has indeed been screwing StarLaughter and generally having a nice time. The only thing he’s not enjoying is that goddamn creepy undead baby she’s still dragging around with her like a teddy bear. Somehow he still hasn’t taken this as a massive, MASSIVE red flag, and he’s still convinced that the “Questors” are Good.
Yeah, guess what their other name is? The one I gave them during the last spork?
They’re the Assrape Demons.
Yes, those Assrape Demons.
You’re going to be sorry, pal. Or rather WolfStar is going to be sorry.
Anyway, to cut a long story short the still not acting at ALL suspiciously demons use Drago as a power source to leapfrog another step closer to the Star Gate, and it hurts like hell. But not to worry; they only have to do it five more times!
Poor Drago.
The next chapter is called “Zenith Lost”. Poor Zenith.
We open with StarDrifter going up to the Temple of the Stars, feeling gloomy. He’s just gotten the news about RiverStar’s murder. Meanwhile Niah/Zenith wants to go into the temple but isn’t allowed, and we learn that after taking over Zenith’s body Niah hasn’t been given access to her magic. Apparently Niah has been claiming that she and Zenith are the same person, but StarDrifter’s not buying it, and he mentally curses WolfStar. In a rather shocking moment he also curses Azhure for making this happen. What?! You mean the Perfect Azhure-Sue… actually did something wrong and it’s not being politely ignored?? What madness is this?
Niah hasn’t gotten the hang of having wings and doesn’t like it, and we’re informed that she is indeed pregnant and has been sleeping with Wolfy at every opportunity. StarDrifter flies off by himself and has a good cry over Zenith’s fate. Who the hell is this guy and what has he done with StarDrifter??
But then who should show up below but Faraday! The two of them have a happy reunion, which is a bit odd because I don’t recall them ever getting to know each other in the last trilogy, and Faraday says she’ll find a way to bring Zenith back.
The next chapter cuts to SpikeFeather, who’s trying to find the Maze. He’s in the waterways, surrounded by the ruins of an ancient city. He eventually finds a series of symbols which lead him to the Maze, only to find everyone’s favourite rapist waiting for him. No, not Axis – Wolfy. End chapter.
The next one continues where the last one left off, and SpikeFeather explains to Wolfy that he’s been given a message about a “Grail King”, “qeteb” and the Maze. Wolfy mocks him a bit before saying only Caelum can enter the Maze. Then he has a look at SpikeFeather’s memories and they find out about Orr’s death. SpikeFeather is upset about this, naturally, but Wolfy tells him to quit that stupid grieving nonsense, because Wolfy is an awful person (hey, at least this time the awfulness is intentional).
Wolfy talks about the Maze for a bit and then shows SpikeFeather some pictographs on the door. He translates them, and turns out they tell a story of four spaceships which crashed into Tencendor and created the Sacred Lakes. Said spaceships contained some artefacts that had been looted from other worlds, and one day the original owners might just come back for them. Wolfy privately thinks that he’s noticed some weakening of his powers and thinks it might be related, and declares that they have to fight back. There’s a symbol over the gate of a star with a sun on top of it, which means – duh – “StarSon”. Supposedly only Caelum can kill whatever is in the Maze, and he’ll need the Rainbow Sceptre to do it. And then Wolfy buggers off and the chapter ends.
The next one returns to Caelum, who’s just had the news about Cosmo seizing the city of Kastaleon. He’s not happy about it, of course, and Askam is even more pissed off. Askam suggests that Cosmo is bad because he has “bad blood” inherited from Rivkah, since after all Rivkah also produced the eeeevil Borneheld. Oh lay off him already, will you?? He wants to rush in and attack Cosmo, but Caelum tells him to sit down and shut up while he has a think.
Eventually Caelum makes a decision and orders the Strike Force to go seize Severin, aka Cosmo’s seat of power. That’ll learn ‘im.
Cut to the Strike Force doing exactly that, which they manage pretty easily. Just after Caelum gets the news, WolfStar appears demanding to see where the Rainbow Sceptre is kept. Caelum argues, but when Wolfy tells him it’s probably been stolen he freaks out and rushes off to the secret room where it was kept. It’s hidden behind a wall and can only be opened by magic, and Wolfy notices Caelum has trouble with it. Sure enough, the box on the other side is now empty.
Wolfy asks Caelum about his difficulty using magic, and when Caelum says yeah, it’s gotten harder lately, Wolfy melodramatically declares “it has begun!” and teleports away.
He arrives back at the Star Gate Atlantis, where he can hear the voices getting closer. He can’t figure out where Drago might have gone, and then remembers Faradeer was here and might know what happened, so he heads off to find her. End chapter.
The next chapter is called “ForestFligh’s Betrayal”. I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be ForestFlight, but I guess we’ll see.
We’re with Cosmo, up on the castle walls watching an Icarii flying toward him. Turns out it’s one of the Lake Guard and yup, his name is ForestFlight. Very cute.
He tells them Caelum wants to hold talks about this whole human throne business, but then proceeds to – that’s right – betray Caelum by telling the truth about Severin being taken, and adding that Askam and Caelum are on their way with an army to capture Cosmo and put him on trial for high treason. Well, shoot. Who could have seen that coming?
Cosmo decides to set a trap at the castle to delay Caelum, and steal a march on him by getting out of there and heading for Carlon. He goes and breaks the news to Leagion, who until now knew nothing about the throne plot and isn’t happy about it. Cosmo keeps insisting that he wuvs her. That must be why he repeatedly raped her on the way here.
After a bunch of rhetoric about how they’re doing this for The People, Leagion – what else? - starts crying and agrees. Ugh.
On to Chapter 43! This one is called “Faraday’s Lie”.
Faraday is hanging out with Niah, and the two of them seem to have become quite chummy as they swap stories. Eventually Faraday brings up the “you took someone else’s brain” thing, which Niah denies. They get into an argument, with Faraday trying to convince Niah that what she’s doing is wrong, but then WolfStar shows up. Ugh. The two of them start making out, which disgusts Faraday, and then Wolfy asks Faraday about what happened. Faraday plays dumb, but he gets angry and starts threatening her so she lies and says Drago ran off. WolfStar buys it and leaves in a temper.
Cut to later on, and Faraday tells StarDrifter about what’s happened. She says she can bring Zenith back but it’ll take something other than persuasion. StarDrifter mentions the unborn baby, which gives her an idea. End chapter.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-22 02:43 pm (UTC)What happens at the end? I get why you abandoned the spork. I couldn't stomach this either.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-25 05:48 am (UTC)-Cosmo rigs a castle to explode, which takes out Caelum's entire army
-Cosmo marries Leagion, after which he rapes her again, and gets himself crowned King. Axis shows up and yells at him
-There's an Icarii named StarFever HighCrest (I shit you not)
-Repeated uses of "ever" instead of "always", which never fails to get on my nerves
-Faraday helps Zenith get her body back, forcing Niah into the body of her unborn baby. Whereupon - I SWEAR I'm not making this up... whereupon Zenith thumps herself in the baby bump until it induces premature labour, and hits WolfStar in the face with the dead baby. It's one of the most grotesque and ridiculous things I ever read in my life. Either way, RIP, Niah. You know, again.
-We learn that the leader of the Assrape Demons was defeated long ago and divided into parts which are now being kept in the sacred lakes. WolfStar takes it into his head to use that to bring Niah back
-Axis and Azhure FINALLY get up off their asses and summon all the most powerful magic users in the land to cast a FUCKING WARD over the Star Gate. Which they do.
-Leagion finally gets a clue and runs off to join up with her brother just before the new troops Caelum has gathered meets Cosmo in the field. Cosmo loses and gets stabbed. Unfortunately he doesn't die and is instead taken prisoner. Unfortunately again, Caelum doesn't have him executed on the spot. And no, he never is acknowledged to be a multiple rapist and Leagion still Wuvs him.
-Instead Caelum just tells Cosmo and Askam to put their differences aside and worth with him to fight the Assrape Demons, which they grudgingly agree to.
-The FUCKING WARDS turn out to be 100% useless. The Assrape Demons get through anyway, and everyone except Faraday loses all their powers
-But Faraday does find Drago's sorry remains and is able to heal him, and it looks like he's somehow merged with the Rainbow Sceptre or something.
-Everyone in the country suddenly plunges into depression and a lot of them start spontaneously committing suicide, The Happening style
-The surviving good guys, now reduced to - GASP! - ordinary people with no magic (except for Faraday) vow to fight back. The end.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-25 01:23 pm (UTC)and how do people get through these books...
Are these books worse than Badkind?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-25 01:32 pm (UTC)Good question. I'm gonna have to say no, if only because the prose is superior. Badkind writes like he's fourteen years old.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-26 03:29 am (UTC)Damn. That's crazy.
I have that Ready Player One spork, I guess.
And now we can spork that acknowledgements at the end of To Sleep.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-26 04:59 am (UTC)I'm working on it! Toryll has had his pass at it and now it's my turn. I'll send it over to you soonish!
no subject
Date: 2021-07-24 01:12 am (UTC)It's probably a good idea to abandon this. I was struggling to find anything to say beyond "why was this published?" for at least the last few posts. It's just inconceivable to me that anyone would think this is good enough that other people need the chance to read it.
What's next on your agenda? Want me to send you some more terrible fanfictions for you to spork? >:)
no subject
Date: 2021-07-26 03:55 am (UTC)What's next on your agenda? Want me to send you some more terrible fanfictions for you to spork? >:)
I've found a few awful ones that I won't inflict upon anyone, but I have also found some that are less-awful.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-25 04:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-28 09:53 pm (UTC)